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Sexual Health & Reproductive Success
    #29643559 -

In junior high school and high school, I never was one of those people who found masturbation funny or a way to bond with friends, I just thought masturbating was pathetic and frightening. Sexuality is like death itself, it's not to be taken lightly. Sex, fundamentally, is for reproduction, for having a family.

I realize sexual intercourse is enjoyable for many people, but should we be raising children and encouraging them to engage in sexual intercourse before they have a plan to get married and have children?

Should we be encouraging masturbation? Why are we not encouraging our children to have a plan to get married and have children of their own? What happened to family planning? What is so good about promiscuous sexuality and precocious sexuality?

Having sex before marriage usually means you're having sex in your parents house, or the car, with no sense for the cost of living or responsibilities or anything. Sex then becomes like a narcotic.

When I was in junior high school, I was at a friends house, and he had a book (did he get it from his parents?) and the book was about masturbation and how to masturbate. I found it really odd, and couldn't relate. I stopped hanging out with him. This same friend would call me a faggot at school, knowing full well I wasn't a homosexual. He probably was a homosexual or bisexual, he was definitely an angry homophobic. 

"Where has that young man disappeared? He's in the clutches, up the neck of daydreaming sexual fantasies. But if a man gets stuck indulging in wishful sexual fantasies, he literally falls into the hands of a vampire. He loses his capacity of taking his own life in hand. He loses his willpower. He loses all his male efficiency. And he just daydreams all the time about women and their curves and would be romantic adventures and so on. He lives in an unreal life. I saw once a man who was 43 still living with his mother, who had never approached a woman. I asked him, "what on earth are you doing with your sex?" And he gave secretive smile and didn't confess. He just masturbated wildly every night. And then he dreamt that he was in daytime living an ordinary life but in the nighttime he was living on a luscious island where he had wild sexual adventures with women. That was the fantasy world into which he disappeared. In a primitive tribe, one would say such a man has been bewitched." Marie Von Franz

"What's the biggest fear of humans? It's higher than death, it's public speaking. But it's never public speaking, it's the judgement that's going to come from the speaking, it's not the speaking itself. I might get judged. What does that mean to our ancestor brain? If I get outcast from the tribe, I can't have sex, I can't reproduce, I'm probably not going to get food, and I'm going to die. It means genetic extinction." The Hidden Danger of Being Honest | Chase Hughes

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Re: Sexual Health & Reproductive Success [Re: Cory Duchesne] * 1
    #29644254 -

We must destigmatize the human body.  Teenage boys & girls in school should shower together after gym class. 

We still live in a puritanical age.

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Re: Sexual Health & Reproductive Success [Re: RJ Tubs 202]
    #29644267 -

I was one of those boys who wouldn't get naked in front of anyone. After basketball practice at a military base, 3 of us boys were all expected to have a shower in the military shower room, and I hid in the bathroom stall and changed my clothes there without showering.  On the way home, they made fun of me for my out of style haircut. The secret about boys is they are desperate to hide their genitals in fear that they may be seen as "small" and they desperately want bigger genitals. Some boys are more well adapted in that regard, as one high school friend liked to brag, "I have a big dicky bird, do you have a big dicky bird?"  The haves and have not will still be divided, whether we move toward public or private.

I'm not sure the solution is less privacy.  Nowadays the urinals are more spaced apart and there are little cubicles or wall guards preventing the guy next to you from looking at your genitals. There's always that one guy who wants to scrutinize your genitals. 

“In our society, defecation involves an individual in activity which is defined as inconsistent with the cleanliness and purity standards expressed in many of our performances. Such activity also causes the individual to disarrange his clothing and to 'go out of play," that is, to drop from his face the expressive mask that he employs in face-to-face interaction. At the same time it becomes difficult for him to reassemble his personal front should the need to enter into interaction suddenly occur. Perhaps that is a reason why toilet doors in our society have locks on them.”

― Erving Goffman, The Presentation of Self in Everyday Life


"Once there was this kid who
Got into an accident and couldn't come to school
But when he finally came back
His hair had turned from black into bright white
He said that it was from when
The cars had smashed so hard

Once there was this girl who
Wouldn't go and change with the girls in the change room
But when they finally made her
They saw birthmarks all over her body
She couldn't quite explain it
They'd always just been there

But both girl and boy were glad
'Cause one kid had it worse than that."

Crash Test Dummies:


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Re: Sexual Health & Reproductive Success [Re: Cory Duchesne]
    #29644275 -

Are you married yet?

As for me, not yet.


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Omnicyclion.org
personal empowerment for the world

Onehomemission.org
truly make a difference

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Re: Sexual Health & Reproductive Success [Re: Asante]
    #29644284 -

I'm not married, not seeing any lady, and I'm not homosexual.  I'm more or less a male-widow, as I was with a lady for 4 years, then a second for 6 months, and then a third for only 3 months.

When covid hit, the rug was pulled from under my feet and I had a huge fall from grace.  My health has declined considerably and I don't get the sense I have much of a future when it comes to monogamous swan-to-swan pairing.  There was a window of opportunity for me to get married, and it was mostly squandered, I suppose.

I definitely feel a strong need to pair with the opposite sex, but my life has become so constricted and isolated that I seem to have no opportunities. 

I also have a need to educate or caution or warn or alarm people, young and old, of the dangers of life, to educate and help people detect life's snares and traps.

Having a job or career would be half the battle, but I'm deemed by too many people as too sick to work.

I see myself as a researcher, educator and a single bachelor with severe health issues.

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Re: Sexual Health & Reproductive Success [Re: RJ Tubs 202] * 1
    #29644376 -

RJ Tubs 202 said:
We must destigmatize the human body.  Teenage boys & girls in school should shower together after gym class. 

We still live in a puritanical age.


The shower is too private. If we were going that route, we may as well have the girls and boys all exercise naked in the gymnasium, as Plato suggested. You see in Plato's time all the men exercise naked at the gym but girls were not allowed. In The Republic Socrates breaks the mold by recommending the women be allowed, too.

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Re: Sexual Health & Reproductive Success [Re: CreonAntigone]
    #29644984 -

I was thinking of a communal coed group shower.  Funny that Plato & Socrates differed on this.  There is a common belief that "teenagers hormones are raging and all they want to do is have sex" - but I don't think that is fully accurate.  It is silly that teens need to sneak make out sessions or anything more.  There is nothing worse than making out in a car. These days teens probably see tons of porn sex before they even see one cute school girl naked.

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Re: Sexual Health & Reproductive Success [Re: Cory Duchesne] * 3
    #29651740 -

Cory Duchesne said:
My health has declined considerably and I don't get the sense I have much of a future when it comes to monogamous swan-to-swan pairing.  There was a window of opportunity for me to get married, and it was mostly squandered, I suppose.


To hell with what attitude.  I'm in the 11th year of my long-since-failed marriage, asked for a separation framework at year 6, filed for divorce before the 10th... the passion in this relationship is toast, save for perhaps the passionate frustration! :tongue2:

I'm absolutely not chomping at the bit to go find another mate at all - my current settlement proposal in fact postulates a same-parcel ADU for the misses so we can co-parent most effectively with minimum disruption for our child - but I'm also not even close to believing that another relationship wouldn't be a real possibility for the unknown future.


Quote:
I definitely feel a strong need to pair with the opposite sex, but my life has become so constricted and isolated that I seem to have no opportunities.

I also have a need to educate or caution or warn or alarm people, young and old, of the dangers of life, to educate and help people detect life's snares and traps.


This adds considerable more color to your apparently dejected state of mind.  Certainly, if you self-define with terms such as isolated/constricted, and further focus on pushing your own personal and private paranoia upon others (with good intentions I'm sure - but nevertheless...), it will likely be an uphill battle to find the warm, loving, considerate, compassionate mate that you might seek for companionship.

Education is great, being open and sharing with your thoughts and opinions is generally great as well, however emotional intelligence is paramount for relational success.  To "caution or warn or alarm" other people is generally not an attractive trait.  Which isn't to say that you can't maintain that modus, but framing and patience in delivery would likely play a huge role in how a potential mate would react to such expression.

I've lived an isolationist phase or two in my time.  I don't necessarily regret it, however I recognize that I sold myself short of many opportunities that are often significantly more achievable, the younger one may happen to be.  Regardless, although I don't fancy that I'll ever enter another legal contract of marriage, I would happily dedicate myself and soul to another, should a compatible opportunity arrive, whether that be in six months, six years, or at ages sixty-eight or even eighty-six!

Suppose this rambling post is my genuine attempt to encourage you to keep your head up mate.  Life is volatile, some folks definitely have it easier than others, or can otherwise more easily adapt than others... but we're all human and we're all a bit messy.  Keep your heart open, your behavior kind, make a genuine effort to engage with others and I suspect your odds may be far greater than you're giving credit.


--------------------

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┼ ··∙   long live the shroomery  ∙·· ┼
...╬π╥ ╥π╬...

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Re: Sexual Health & Reproductive Success [Re: geokills] * 1
    #29651767 -

I worked in a kitchen at a restaurant about a year ago and one of the managers told me that I function or work like a ninety-year old, and then they fired me. I have, on more than one occasion, blushed, my face red, because I was just so overwhelmed or daunted. Blushing is one of those things that the more well adjusted people find funny or amusing. There really isn't much writing or knowledge about blushing, but I was reading a book by Alfred Adler, and he did mention patients who blush:

"If he is spoken to, he blushes; he cannot find words to reply. Every day he is in deeper and deeper despair. At last he is completely blocked towards all the problems of life and no one can understand him any longer. He does not look at others, speak to them or listen to them. He does not work or study. He is always engaged in fantasy. Only a shabby remainder of sex activity is left. This is insanity, dementia praecox. Insanity is the highest degree of isolation; it represents a greater distance from fellow man than any other exception expect, perhaps, suicide. But even insanity is not incurable if the interest in others can be aroused. It is an art to cure such cases, and a very difficult art. We must win the patient back to cooperation; and we can do it only by patience and the kindliest and friendliest manner." Alfred Adler, pg 315, EXTREME ISOLATION

Edited by Cory Duchesne (08/20/26 05:43 PM)

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