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nothing2prove
Stranger
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Afraid of "Sexual Relations" (PE) *Update*
#5241860 - 01/30/06 11:55 AM (18 years, 2 days ago) |
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So here it is in a nutshell.
I blow my load too soon, I lack confidence in the bedroom and when it comes to sex I would rather look the other way, just to avoid an almost certain bad situation.
Lack of sex doesn't particularly bother me, because lets be honest, Iv never fully experienced what sex has to offer.
I wouldn't say i wasn't experienced in the bedroom so to speak, but I'm obviously going wrong somewhere. Iv been thinking about this alot recently, thinking of pointers and tips, highlighting where I'm going wrong. I figure i need to take my time, more on the foreplay/oral etc and just mainly keeping the mind off the situation (which i find hard regarding what is going on at that particular moment in time). A main point would would be to keep off the alcohol, 8/10 iv had a few drinks and just be more confident.
But honestly, i just don't know.
At this moment in time there's this girl i really like and i know she wants to take things a step further, i just feel I'm too fragile in bed to go there. Like, just as shes warming up id probably already have shot my load. I usually just carry on and hope they dont notice (which is what i usually have to resort to) though as I'm an "over excited" person as it is, its not too difficult to achieve a sloppy multiple orgasm. But thats not very enjoyable for me nor the partner involved.
Anyone help me out? 
Peace
Edited by nothing2prove (02/23/06 12:10 PM)
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cookeman
Live and let live


Registered: 10/26/05
Posts: 1,077
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Re: Afraid of "Sexual Relations" (PE) [Re: nothing2prove]
#5241874 - 01/30/06 12:05 PM (18 years, 2 days ago) |
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That's tough, but a lot of guys have that problem. there's a bunch of threads on here with guys with pe. I have it sometimes. There's a couple techniques you can do, but i only find them minimally useful. I usually just try to concentrate on something else if I'm getting close too fast. For some reason I almost always think about baseball, and/or a bowl of rice. I don't know what the deal with the bowl of rice is so don't ask. It works sometimes. Other times I'll mix it up. if i'm getting close too fast i'll just jump out and start eating her out. most girls go nuts over that. other than that all i can say is practice makes perfect. a little inginuity goes a long way
-------------------- “Let’s put it this way – to lump psychedelic mushrooms into the same group as methamphetamine is like lumping the Bible into the same group as Mein Kampf. I mean shit; they’re both books, right?” Joe Rogan R.I.P. - "Bones" - One of the greatest people I've ever had the pleasure of getting to know and become friends with.
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THE KRAT BARON
one-eyed willie
Registered: 07/08/03
Posts: 42,409
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Re: Afraid of "Sexual Relations" (PE) [Re: nothing2prove]
#5241922 - 01/30/06 12:27 PM (18 years, 2 days ago) |
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Look up male kegel excersizes. If you have good control over your muscles you have better control over your orgasms. Other than that I have no fucking clue what to tell you man, I've never had that problem. 
http://www.sex-project.com/kegels.shtml
-------------------- m00nshine is currently vacationing in Maui. Rumor has it he got rolled by drunken natives and is currently prostituting himself in order to pay for airfare back to the mainland but he's having trouble juggling a hairon addiction. He won't be back for a long while.
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Veritas

Registered: 04/15/05
Posts: 11,089
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Re: Afraid of "Sexual Relations" (PE) [Re: nothing2prove]
#5242064 - 01/30/06 01:14 PM (18 years, 2 days ago) |
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Here's a comprehensive article on this subject. 
http://www.emedicine.com/med/topic643.htm
My 2 cents: there is much more to sex than having an erection.
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nothing2prove
Stranger
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Re: Afraid of "Sexual Relations" (PE) [Re: Veritas]
#5242113 - 01/30/06 01:24 PM (18 years, 2 days ago) |
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Quote:
Veritas said: Here's a comprehensive article on this subject. 
http://www.emedicine.com/med/topic643.htm
My 2 cents: there is much more to sex than having an erection.
Nice, thank you, a good read.
Iv been searching for a while now and came across this and that. I guess it just comes down to confidence and pace. Keep things on top of yourself and take it slow. Pull out before climax and don't be afraid to go down.
I also found some other good info:
Quote:
Communication The most important aspect of a relationship is communication. This is no different, and in fact is more important for a sexual relationship. If you're having problems, talk with your partner about it. Don't be ashamed to discuss the situation and try to come up with mutual solutions to your problems. If you're ejaculating too early, talk with them about some of the things you could try to make love-making last longer and more enjoyable for both of you.
Stopping and starting Many men that ask for help in prolonging their coital experiences never even consider the possibility of interrupting intercourse in order to prolong their sexual tension. Love-making can be a very deep and detailed experience, and doesn't merely have to be intercourse alone. Once you are about to reach the point of no return, try withdrawing and stimulating your partner for a while by masturbating her or performing cunnilingus. Of course, you should talk with them before you engage in sexual activity so you know what she likes and is willing to let you try. Once you've stimulated her for a while, and given your organ a chance to settle down a bit from lack of direct stimulation, resume intercourse. Stop again once you get too excited, and repeat the process as long as you want. Women often take much longer to reach a climax than men in the first place, so increasing your stamina can help even out the field and help both of you enjoy sex even more.
Foreplay and sexual positions Often couples will engage in extremely erotic foreplay, which leads into the most stimulating sexual positions for both couples. If you find yourself getting too excited because your pace is much too fast, just slow down. Take time to enjoy every little aspect of the love-making experience with your partner. Talking, cuddling, kissing, and messages can all serve to slow things down and help both of you get closer to each other sexually and emotionally as you enjoy the total sexual experience.
Squeeze it Right before you feel you are about to ejaculate, try withdrawing fully or partially and squeezing the base of your penis by wrapping your thumb and index finger around it, applying firm pressure. You can also have her do this if she wants. This lessens the tension and holds back the ejaculatory response, but be sure to apply it before you start ejaculating, once you start its too late!
You can also try applying this technique just under the head of the penis. Once the urge to purge has subsided a bit, resume intercourse for a while and see if it is helping you.
Condoms Many couples claim that wearing condoms lessens the feeling and sensitivity of intercourse substantially for both of them, so if you aren't wearing them to protect yourself, try wearing them to increase your stamina.
Masturbate Perhaps the best method for releasing tension and increasing sexual stamina involves masturbating before a sexual experience. Don't do it RIGHT before you have sex, but for example if you are going to go see her, masturbate a few hours before you'll be having sex.
Combinations Using just one of these techniques can easily become tiresome after a while. Try using different techniques to slow yourself down, and you'll be sure to keep the act exciting and fresh!
This is probably something that will pass with experience and a level headed mind. I'm sure if i just had a little More confidence, kept on top of what i was doing whilst taking things slow, concentrating on the mutuality of sex not the physical pleasures.
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Yarry
Old Timer


Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 23,762
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Re: Afraid of "Sexual Relations" (PE) [Re: nothing2prove]
#5242139 - 01/30/06 01:32 PM (18 years, 2 days ago) |
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if you want straight up intercourse, that lasts.. jerk off before she comes over. seriously. it helps and its easy and fun to do
-------------------- Grumpy Old Man.
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nothing2prove
Stranger
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Re: Afraid of "Sexual Relations" (PE) [Re: Yarry]
#5242153 - 01/30/06 01:37 PM (18 years, 2 days ago) |
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I'll keep that in mind.
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Veritas

Registered: 04/15/05
Posts: 11,089
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Re: Afraid of "Sexual Relations" (PE) [Re: nothing2prove]
#5242206 - 01/30/06 01:56 PM (18 years, 2 days ago) |
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Yes, those tips sound helpful, too.
I would also highly recommend that you look into Tantra. I've been practicing the techniques for almost two years & can honestly say that it has transformed my sexual experience. Incorporating spirituality and a sense of the sacred into the erotic aspects of sexual intercourse has been A-mazing! 
BTW, I am a woman & have had two partners in the distant past who experienced PE. They both were honest with me about it & I was glad to incorporate more cuddling, foreplay, erotic talk, etc... instead of focusing on intercourse as the "main course." 
The only way premature ejaculation would be disappointing to me is if my partner lost all interest in sex after he had his orgasm, and was disinterested in prolonging the foreplay session.
Of course, I could still get myself off.
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Le_Canard
The Duk Abides

Registered: 05/16/03
Posts: 94,392
Loc: Earthfarm 1
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Re: Afraid of "Sexual Relations" (PE) [Re: Veritas]
#5242272 - 01/30/06 02:17 PM (18 years, 2 days ago) |
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Quote:
Veritas said: My 2 cents: there is much more to sex than having an erection.
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mr_kite
The Watcher


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Re: Afraid of "Sexual Relations" (PE) [Re: nothing2prove]
#5242855 - 01/30/06 04:50 PM (18 years, 1 day ago) |
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Seriously mate you probably just need practice. if the right girl comes along and you get into a steady relationship youve nothing to worry about/
There are definately things to do that help you last longer. Some have been posted already but il reitterate: 1) jack off before you meet 2) before she gets anywhere near your cock make sure shes already well on the way; theres no point you being halfway to blowing your load if youve not even touched her pussy* 3) squeeze the muscles youd squeeze to stop pissing (this really helps)
*I guess if touching her pussy makes you blow your load then you need more advice than i can offer
-------------------- let yourself be silently drawn by the stronger pull of what you really love
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OrizonsHorizon
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Re: Afraid of "Sexual Relations" (PE) [Re: Le_Canard]
#5242884 - 01/30/06 04:57 PM (18 years, 1 day ago) |
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I would suggest concentrating alot more on Foreplay and Im not just referring too getting her off half way with oral sex.
A girl really gets warmed up with cuddling....massaging, tickling there skin, kissing there neck and ears. DO all this (with your clothes still) while you push your lower body against hers...and I mean drive your yourself deep as if you were fucking----If you do it right, she'l have an orgasm in the matter of seconds upon actually starting to have sex (if she didnt already have one) With guys, it doesnt have the same effect so youull still be on sqare one when she's starting to climax. Being sensual while you have sex is one of the most important things...dont just hop on and do the rabbit. Unlike guys, Girls havee multiples and will usually just keep on going as long as you do.
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Simisu
taken by gravity


Registered: 08/08/03
Posts: 5,435
Loc: Israeli in
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Re: Afraid of "Sexual Relations" (PE) [Re: nothing2prove]
#5242905 - 01/30/06 05:01 PM (18 years, 1 day ago) |
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Quote:
nothing2prove said: At this moment in time there's this girl i really like and i know she wants to take things a step further, i just feel I'm too fragile in bed to go there. Like, just as shes warming up id probably already have shot my load.
well then now is the best time for practice... don't feel bad for cumming too fast as long as you're there and your both having fun you'll get the chance to practice with her... after a few times it won't be such a big deal and you'll start to loosen up and enjoy it (you'll last longer of course)
just remember to enjoy it and don't let your self get thrustrated or put off if you cum too soon... just make some more foreplay and soon enough you're hard again
--------------------
   Shr mery    Visit & Support Free Spore Ring Earth Please help spread live Salvia Divinorum
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LightItUp
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Re: Afraid of "Sexual Relations" (PE) [Re: Simisu]
#5242923 - 01/30/06 05:04 PM (18 years, 1 day ago) |
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This reminds me of that guy on American Pie. Just not as bad. The only thing you can do is slow down, practice, or some techniques that have already been said.
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HagbardCeline
Student-Teacher-Student-Teacher


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Re: Afraid of "Sexual Relations" (PE) [Re: nothing2prove]
#5243035 - 01/30/06 05:21 PM (18 years, 1 day ago) |
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In addition to what has already been suggested, you may want to check out what the pharmacy has to offer.
I wrote this thread that may also be of use to you entitled DXM - The end to premature ejaculation. But please read the whole thing carefully before commenting. All the people who cried foul without even opening their eyes annoyed me.
In addition to that I 've read that some sex therapists are using anti-depressants in their treatment of PE. May want to look into that
-------------------- I keep it real because I think it is important that a highly esteemed individual such as myself keep it real lest they experience the dreaded spontaneous non-existance of no longer keeping it real. - Hagbard Celine
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery


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Re: Afraid of "Sexual Relations" (PE) [Re: Yarry]
#5243347 - 01/30/06 06:25 PM (18 years, 1 day ago) |
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Quote:
Yarry said: if you want straight up intercourse, that lasts.. jerk off before she comes over. seriously. it helps and its easy and fun to do
Good advice, along with some solo tantra work.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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leery11
I Tell You What!

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Re: Afraid of "Sexual Relations" (PE) [Re: Icelander]
#5243532 - 01/30/06 07:02 PM (18 years, 1 day ago) |
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First: I consider you lucky to even have the opportunity to have premature ejaculations....
 But kegels are definitely worth looking into. I experimented with them a while ago and could have multiple orgasms WITHOUT ejaculating... however it was rather difficult to do.... you really have to build that muscle up quite strongly.
Give them a try.
don't think that a kegeled orgasm is an excuse for not wearing a condom by any means, but hopefully everyone already has the knowledge of pulling out not being safe, etc.
-------------------- I am the MacDaddy of Heimlich County, I play it Straight Up Yo! ....I embrace my desire to feel the rhythm, to feel connected enough to step aside and weep like a widow, to feel inspired, to fathom the power, to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain, to swing on the spiral of our divinity and still be a human...... Om Namah Shivaya, I tell you What!
Edited by leery11 (01/30/06 07:03 PM)
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nothing2prove
Stranger
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Re: Afraid of "Sexual Relations" (PE) [Re: Veritas]
#5246966 - 01/31/06 01:45 PM (18 years, 1 day ago) |
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Thanks for the info guys, its been a real help.
I now feel i really have my head around the situation. Maybe now im ready to take things one step further with this girl, well theres only one way to find out 
Peace, Mushie Man
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Amber_Glow
Sat Chit Anand

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Re: Afraid of "Sexual Relations" (PE) [Re: nothing2prove]
#5249005 - 01/31/06 09:58 PM (18 years, 17 hours ago) |
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You should go gay. Really. PE doesn't matter if you are with another dude!
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baraka



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Re: Afraid of "Sexual Relations" (PE) [Re: Amber_Glow]
#5250667 - 02/01/06 11:09 AM (18 years, 4 hours ago) |
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"Stopping and starting Many men that ask for help in prolonging their coital experiences never even consider the possibility of interrupting intercourse in order to prolong their sexual tension. Love-making can be a very deep and detailed experience, and doesn't merely have to be intercourse alone. Once you are about to reach the point of no return, try withdrawing and stimulating your partner for a while by masturbating her or performing cunnilingus. Of course, you should talk with them before you engage in sexual activity so you know what she likes and is willing to let you try. Once you've stimulated her for a while, and given your organ a chance to settle down a bit from lack of direct stimulation, resume intercourse. Stop again once you get too excited, and repeat the process as long as you want. Women often take much longer to reach a climax than men in the first place, so increasing your stamina can help even out the field and help both of you enjoy sex even more."
Thats usually my technique. The frist time ive been with a specific girl i usually get a little too excited too fast .
-------------------- This is the only time I really feel alive.
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Mushie_Man
Fuck Up

Registered: 05/21/04
Posts: 889
Loc: UK
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Re: Afraid of "Sexual Relations" (PE) [Re: nothing2prove]
#5250795 - 02/01/06 11:52 AM (18 years, 3 hours ago) |
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Many of you guys find it hard to go for a second round 15 minutes later?
For me it depends on how long the intercourse lasted. If it lasts a long time i feel satisfied so feel no need to go for another round. Where as if i shoot quick, a little break is all it takes to go in for another.
So i guess im trying to say if you shoot fast the first round, theres always the second, maybe even a third etc..
-------------------- Ecstacy got me standing next to you Getting sentimental as fuck spillin' guts to you We just met But I think I'm in love with you But you're on it too So you tell me you love me too Wake up in the morning like "yo, what the fuck we do?"
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