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I miss my gd friends.
    #25074000 -

For a while since I’ve moved away from friends I’ve thought mayb it was a good thing.  Maybe it will provide the space I need to grow as a person being away from them. But I’m growing. I’m reaching goals. I’m busy. Back to making my financial situation better and I find myself lonely as fuck.  I had been thinking I use socialization too much to escape like a drug but now I think that’s a lot healthier than just getting depressed from lonliness and self destructing wishing I could just go back to drugs or drink more than appropriate to deal.  I’m already fighting these urges due to stress but having no god damn friends to talk to makes it twice as hard.  I only have one friend I can even text that has been in my life over a decade. I have no one else and even this person ignores me half the time. I have to imagine my pointless texts attempting to start meaningless conversation to comfort me are just annoying to them, they have a life and actual friends they physically can meet and talk to.  They don’t live near me so I’m just a texting friend here and there to them.  I need more than that in my life. I want actual friends.  Idek why I’m making this thread    Not like it’s going to help.  I just feel my self about to fuck everything up because I’m depressed. God I am so miserable. I live alone and just can’t handle going to work and coming home and repeating with no socialization in between no one to talk to.  Nothing.  I can’t deal with life being so fucking bland. 

But it’s my only option.  Fuck ya gonna do.

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Re: I miss my gd friends. [Re: NOUS333]
    #25074046 -

It's the same thing I think everyone in the military goes though.
Honestly I think things are gonna work out at some point.. Have any Burns in your area?


Also feel free to join us in chat.. we bullshit mostly.. talk about neat shit like what would melatonin due to a mushroom grow and things like "should you flick off the jester in hyperspace".. we also have a running gerbil joke ;P


--------------------
https://Psychedelia.space Home of the Akashic Record, the most detailed experience report Data driven engine available.

Harm Reduction Chat-Tripsit, works from PC and Mobile Phones.

DMT Monster Manual - Experience Report Trove

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Re: I miss my gd friends. [Re: NOUS333]
    #25074064 -

I swear the older I get the more loneliness affects me... when i was younger i was a lone wolf when i needed to be to stay focused on myself and accomplish the things i needed for self improvement ... like you say.. you are doing good but the loneliness is getting to you... Ive been there man... i get depressed from it and nothing gets done... makes me lazy...

Ive found the only real way.. for myself that is.. to get out of that slump is to keep busy with new projects or new interests... put yourself out in the public eye.. cant every meet anyone sitting at home or work all the time... I went to farmers markets ,, signed up and worked in a community garden ,, went to book fairs,, and many others social things that don't envolve alcohol or drugs...  in doing so I was able to meet new people with similar interests and started to hang with them.

I do wish you happiness brotha.. no one that is working hard to better themselves should have to endure such feelings.. i do hope my words help you feel a bit better as that is their pure intention...

SS

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Re: I miss my gd friends. [Re: StaticStone]
    #25074105 -

DMTGnome said:
It's the same thing I think everyone in the military goes though.
Honestly I think things are gonna work out at some point.. Have any Burns in your area?


Also feel free to join us in chat.. we bullshit mostly.. talk about neat shit like what would melatonin due to a mushroom grow and things like "should you flick off the jester in hyperspace".. we also have a running gerbil joke ;P


Burns ?


StaticStone said:
I swear the older I get the more loneliness affects me... when i was younger i was a lone wolf when i needed to be to stay focused on myself and accomplish the things i needed for self improvement ... like you say.. you are doing good but the loneliness is getting to you... Ive been there man... i get depressed from it and nothing gets done... makes me lazy...

Ive found the only real way.. for myself that is.. to get out of that slump is to keep busy with new projects or new interests... put yourself out in the public eye.. cant every meet anyone sitting at home or work all the time... I went to farmers markets ,, signed up and worked in a community garden ,, went to book fairs,, and many others social things that don't envolve alcohol or drugs...  in doing so I was able to meet new people with similar interests and started to hang with them.

I do wish you happiness brotha.. no one that is working hard to better themselves should have to endure such feelings.. i do hope my words help you feel a bit better as that is their pure intention...

SS


Appreciate the kind intentions bro. 


I just can’t imagine meeting anyone I jive with in this area. I moved from a suburb of Detroit to a rural area where everyone is so god damn different.  I don’t want to say ignorant and kinda dumb but I don’t think that’s far from the truth.  When I got here I got a gig at the only headshop in the area and even those people just couldn’t even relate to the culture I am from. People at my current job would never talk to me again if I just was myself for a day.  It’s so bad that I’ve convinced myself I’m just a bad person since I can’t meet any one who’s into what I am and has the life experiences I’ve had around here. But I know that’s just not true.    A big part of the problem is the friends I miss so much we grew up together in the same town dealing with the same demons and everything else. I could trust them with my life    I’m terrified of bringing anyone I meet near my house. You just don’t know what people are capable of these days. I have a legal grow but it scares me to even think of bringing a new friend around it, I don’t smoke currently because there’s no getting a long term high paying job in this area with thc in your piss unlike where I’m from. They police it heavily here and everyone’s against it so I feel like the entire region just sees me as a dirty criminal for what I love.    Ive gone to bars and stuff to try and meet people but it’s either chicks who are just not my type and guys who are just redneck country boys.  I don’t know how to make new friends. I’m so used to my tight knit community back home that took years and years for me to build close relationships in.  I just don’t think I’ll ever be able to do that all over again and I’m discouraged as fuck.

I appreciate being given opportunities and shit here but I just don’t know how long I’m going to be able to stick out working with people I can’t be myself around and coming home and being all alone.  Like.  This isn’t life.  This ain’t living.  I’m fake all day. What the fuck is that gonna do for my happiness in the long run.    I’m gonna stick it out as long as I can but damn is it depressing.  Would be nice just to have one person I could hang out with and talk about real life and real feelings with. It’s just all getting bottled up and swept under a rug when all I have is me.      I’m dying inside.  For months I ignored these feelings telling myself I just have to be strong but it’s all coming back again like pressure that just has to escape a confined space and I feel like I can’t stop it or ignore it forever.

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Re: I miss my gd friends. [Re: NOUS333]
    #25074216 -

Ahh there is burning man in nevada.. There are a ton of local ones..

http://www.lakesoffire.org/ <-- In Rothbury MI.

There you go brother!


--------------------
https://Psychedelia.space Home of the Akashic Record, the most detailed experience report Data driven engine available.

Harm Reduction Chat-Tripsit, works from PC and Mobile Phones.

DMT Monster Manual - Experience Report Trove

Edited by DMTGnome (03/18/18 08:52 PM)

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Re: I miss my gd friends. [Re: DMTGnome]
    #25075074 -

DMTGnome said:
Ahh there is burning man in nevada.. There are a ton of local ones..

http://www.lakesoffire.org/ <-- In Rothbury MI.

There you go brother!


That’s further from me than Detroit is.    There’s nothing like that where I am now. It’s hard for anyone who hasn’t lived here to imagine the kind of mind that dominates this area.  Imagine a very conservative community of people like the folks on those Alaska shows      If a festival like that came here the narcotics team and state police would shut it down before it opened.  They’ve put multiple people in prison for a long time for opening dispensaries and clubs that were opened and ran the same exact way the ones that are still in operation downstate were.  It’s like living in a completely different country.

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Re: I miss my gd friends. [Re: NOUS333]
    #25075272 -

Feel the same way man :awepreciation:

Everything just goes along though, don't take it personally...Don't know how old you are, but I've determined it's just part of growing apart and the soundz and feelz of change.

Hopefully there will unfold new and exciting friendships as we sail across the desert.


Edited by remake (03/19/18 11:12 AM)

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