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NextShop:  Injection Grain Bag, North Spore Mushroom Grow Kits & Cultivation Supplies  Isolated Cubensis Liquid Culture For Sale  Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order |
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Anonymous #1 |
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Almost every time I try to have an intelligent conversation with someone either they are too busy scrolling through facebook or some other random phone related bullshit to listen, or, the conversation quickly disintegrates into random incoherent bullshit/backstabbing/drama/pett
I wish I could have been alive during the 17 or 1800s How are we, as a society, going to overcome technology? It's sad that the only way I can communicate with other people is by using said technology, I have tried so hard to talk to people in real life about basically anything interesting but all people want to talk about is SHIT. or not at all. Im surrounded by people and I feel like I am alone. I cant socialize through facebook, does that mean I am doomed to be lonely? Even my ex was far too busy with facebook and candy crush to do anything except those 2 things. Really starting to think all hope is lost and AI has won the battle against humanity.
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Anonymous #2 |
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All that one needs to overcome is the self.
However: It sounds like you are attempting to initiate deep conversations at inappropriate occasions. You have to have a receptive audience and you must know how to communicate in an intimate environment. It has more to do with reading the other individuals mindstate and emotions, and then being able to lead them, through skilled conversation, into the emotional and mental state needed for deep communication, you essentially bring your audience into a receptive state. You must be aware of set and setting. You can not expect people to drop their inner thought process, emotional states and focuses to have a deep conversation simply because you want to. Set and setting is key here as well. In any case, I'm not sure it's the technology which is the issue, even before this technology people would still read books and news papers. There are plenty of means which one may personally engage in which would deter them from having to interact with those around them that do not involve technology. Sometimes you just have to talk to people, get their attention, I encourage you to do this as often as possible, nearly everybody can teach you something in one way or another, however, it's more important that you can listen rather than talk, most people do not want to be talked to, the want to be listened to. occasionally when you are able to get past the superficial and redundant structure of polite interaction and can actually get the real person to open up, you would be surprised who you can relate with. I have always had a very high affinity to the following Leary quote.
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Anonymous #2 |
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What was the point of this thread being anonymous?
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Anonymous #1 |
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Thanks for the reply. I definitely have taken what you said into consideration before, and most of the time you're right. I try to get too deep to fast, especially with new people.
Just seems like the set and setting for legitimate conversations is getting to be extremely rare even compared to how it was less than a decade ago. When it was just books and newspapers it was much, much easier and more enjoyable to talk to another person because i mean reading is boring compared to interacting with another person. With the advent of addictive games and addictive things like facebooks news feed... people seem to find it much more entertaining than talking to others, which is seeming to cause a breakdown in social interaction. I have managed to have amazing conversations with people in the past but pretty much only online through text. IRL Its very rare for me to be able to have more than meaningless small talk, even with people who are close to me. Then the small talk usually ends up being awkward and boring. I struggle with finding a way to be able to have an interesting conversation with anyone except through text, I struggle with finding a chatroom that hasnt disintegrated into complete chaos. Thanks for the quotes btw, both of them are excellent and very relevant to what im talking about. As for the thread being anon.. Idk, I suppose it didnt need to be. It's the main thing I enjoy about the internet I guess; the anonymity. Edited by Anonymous (09/15/17 09:13 AM)
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Anonymous #2 |
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I can understand what you are saying.
I severely limit my use of technology, I do not play video games and have never owned any type of gaming system, I do not own (or want) a phone, I have never used Facebook, and I am still not even sure what Twitter is, I have never used a chat room, and I don't even have a real e-mail, I created an email account just to register on this site, and then I never checked it again. So as you can see, I have never really even had the opportunity to have good conversations through text. I'm not sure why I post on this site, I only use the internet for research purposes and for my work, I guess this site is the closest thing to social technology which I use, and I only use this site for the first 45 minutes of my day at work, technically I should be working, but I always have my paper work completed before I arrive, so I generally waste time on this site. I do not own a computer or any type of electronic device with access to the internet, so I take advantage of the computers at my work to post here. Which is a complete waste of time, but I am a writer, and sites like this provide an opportunity to exercise the skill, it provides some direction, rather than just pulling subject matter to write about out of your back pocket, you are given a subject to write about, and since these post are meant to look like actual responses rather than creative writing exercises you are provided with several different contexts and writing styles to explore. I generally will limit my conversations with people that I do not know, but must interact with through out my day, to meaningless small talk, its more like going through the motions than actual conversation. Things never turn awkward, well, ok, sometimes in conversation I will know that the person who is talking to me is lying, but will try to be polite enough not to call them on it, that's where things get awkward, for example, I was discussing LSD with a stranger and this person was going on and on about strychnine in LSD and how it always gave him body aches, and he went on about how he needed strychnine to get the LSD to "stick" to the blotter paper when he was "in the business and making sheets", now, I know that strychnine in LSD is an absolute myth, and that there is not any truth what so ever behind the myth*, I know that strychnine is not needed to get LSD to "stick" to blotter paper, and that in turn this person is lying about ever producing sheets of LSD as he claimed, these conversations are awkward. There have been times where I have said "what you are saying is impossible and a lie and here is why" and it doesn't go over well, so when this happens I more or less have to sit there and listen to such nonsense, this is awkward. I'm sure the individual can not figure it out, they probably thought things got "awkward" for no reason or because I had poor social skills. I spend a good deal of time listening to people, and most people are completely dishonest, it seems they are more concerned with building an image of themselves in the minds of others rather than discuss anything real, or worthwhile. most people are not even deep enough to realize that they are shallow, and are not worth the time or effort to listen to. I think males have more of an issue with being able to drop their superficial social image and open up to you as a real person, it's also obvious that males mature much slower, most males are entertained by fart jokes, calling each other faggots, drawing dicks, and so on. Also, as I mentioned before about individuals telling lies in conversations, this seems to happen more with males, and males definitely react worse if you try to confront them on these things. There is also a good deal of sexism and male dominance that is considered to be normal behavior amongst males, so in general I don't interact with or befriend males very often, I simply can not relate, don't get me wrong, I am a male, but I can not relate with other males in nearly every situation, from maturity to the way in which the treat women. THIS THREAD is a perfect example of what I mean, I am anonymous#5 in this thread, I think it fully demonstrates my point here. Extraordinary people are not common, which is why for the most part I don't socialize with anybody outside of my small group of friends. Don't get me wrong, I still give New people a chance, this is why I spend so much time listening to others, however, for the most part I prefer to be left to myself, or to only socialize with those who I love and trust, with those who have shown themselves to be highly intelligent, highly realized, and overall good hearted people, with those who will actually understand me. as an intellectual you quickly tire of trying to constantly bring light to the darkened realms of ignorance, all you find is that the bigger you build the fire, the more darkness you reveal. I understand why enlightened individuals and highly realized beings remain silent, they know you won't understand. (If there are typos I apologize, I did not have time to edit this, I should probably get to work any way. * -Ibex-Trismegistus
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Anonymous #3 |
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Sounds like you hang out with the wrong people. I don't even have a phone.
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Anonymous #4 |
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Sometimes when I go to a bar, I'll eat like 2g of cubes. I'll find myself staring at my phone doing whatever making my to-list for tomorrow or catching up on texts, etc whatever.
Typically, I'll have to put my phone away and initiate a conversation with someone else to break them away from their phone. Its not really a challenge either. Lot of times, I'll just say, "How are you doing tonight?" Then people proceed to ramble on about their lives. I find people to be insecure about themselves, like they don't really know who are or are just awkward and uncomfortable with themselves. These things are honestly quite easy to see. Being comfortable with yourself will also make it helluva lot easily to talk to people in general. But if someone is more interested in Facebook then carrying a conversation with you, you at that point are wasting your own time. Plain and simple. I've talked enough, look at me ramble.
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Anonymous #1 |
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It's funny because I read through that thread you linked and I agreed with what you were saying. I agree with what you're saying in this thread as well.
The internet is such a massive change to our lives, everything has a good side and a bad side. I wonder what the bad side of the internet is. What will the long term effects of something as game changing as the internet be? I have always associated with people much older than I am. They always seem to be better people in every possible way. People that were around before this change in our lives. As for the people you talked about with the LSD situation.. I call them "bullshitters". They are very common. I have even caught myself doing it. Fact is always more interesting than fiction. Edited by Anonymous (10/01/17 10:42 PM)
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Anonymous #5 |
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I think you might need to learn to appreciate fiction and bullshit. They are both powerfully relaxing things and they are what most people are actually interested in.
There are people out there who want to have deep conversations, but the truth is that most people dont. What's the point of your deep conversations? Is it because you've been doing some deep thinking and want to show off how smart you are? People dont give a fuck about how smart anyone else is. Is it the novelty of exploring ideas? If so, then your best shot is to find people who are into that and will enjoy your contribution - places like r/philososphy on reddit are too intense for me, but might be your cup of tea. Is it because you are trying to figure out what you believe and feel? Then perhaps you might have to pay someone to listen. Conversation is a two way street. I know plenty of self-proclaimed geniuses and although Im not rude enough to start looking at my phone mid conversation, I am certainly tempted to. I end up avoiding those people. There's a time and a place. You think those times and places are becoming less common? Well maybe they are, but that should make them special. Don't try to force special things - you need to work for them. That means having meaningful relationships with people. When someone cares about you, then they will be more willing to engage in a deep conversation. Otherwise it is too much mental investment.
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Anonymous #2 |
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You seriously can't be asking what the point of deep thought is, can you? Like here:
It has to do with wanting a deeper understanding of your existence, and discussing these subjects with others can give you insight and perspective that you would not have been able to generate on your own. Its not just sharing your thoughts, it is receiving input on them, and using others perspectives and insights to deeper develop them. I feel it's important to discuss your ideas with more than just the people you are close with, look at the quote below:
I give everybody a chance, and will try to open up to anybody, if they appear disinterested or like they "prefer bullshit" in your terminology, than I can easily distinguish this person from "one of the others", just like leary said: Who knows what you might learn from taking a chance on conversation with a stranger?...so I have no issues taking that initial chance. Its not "trying to force things", it's simply being myself, I tend to want to discuss the things that I am researching, or working on, or learning about, or simply just thinking about. ...though trust me, I would never try to force these things, it's pretty obvious to tell when you are not making a connection with someone. I never talk to anybody unless the speak to me first, and on the occasions that I do try to strike up a conversation if the person is not interested, or not knowledgeable on the subject, or simply doesn't care, then I don't try again. I don't think having meaningful or thoughtful conversations should be considered special, in many ways it is the essence of our being. -ibex
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Anonymous #2 |
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I am not sure about the internet. I don't use it much, I never use it for communication. Interacting on this site is more like a creative writing practice, it's all done with a grain of salt, and has nothing to do with socializing, honestly, most the people who post here are not people I would be comfortable socializing with in real life... About the other part, Yeah, I find that most are "bullshitters" and that it becomes very uncomfortable for me to politely play along with them, that's the closet to awkward that things ever get. -ibex
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Anonymous #5 |
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I was probably a little heavy handed with my approach.
I suppose my point was that OP is bashing technology because that's where people prefer to turn when (it sounds like) he just wants to talk at people. Nobody likes to be talked at. Lots of people don't like to share their deepest thoughts with people they nothing about and don't have any emotional investment in (ie people they know they can trust to bear their souls to). Of course there's a great reward to be gained from deep conversations when they happen - you learn more about yourself, about how other people think and feel, more about the world you live in and you see things from perspectives you could never see from yourself. But the majority of the time people don't have the time of day to give you those valuable insights. If you want to go around trying to extract this kind of stuff from people, you're going to be met with a depressingly low success rate and you'll feel the burn of social rejection like OP. You have to eat your dinner before you can eat dessert and that means putting in work to develop connections before you can really... connect with someone else. Other people hold back because they're more afraid of social rejection than you. You have to show them that you're going to accept their deepest thoughts and desires before they put them out for you to judge.
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Anonymous #6 |
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I highly doubt most of the things you "have to say" that are so "deep and profound" Actually are as interesting as you claim them to be. I like a good conversation from time to time. But there's a time and a place for that. I'm not going out to eat with some friends expecting to get into some intensely deep religious conversation or whatever. Usually a lot of drugs are when those situtions arrive around a campfire at a festival.
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