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So I went condom shopping for the first since... Well, probably the first time ever...
    #23736654 -

Back when I was at university they used to give them away so I grabbed a big handful of them every once in a while. After university I've almost always ended up with girls on the pill and when an occasion required a condom, the girl generally had them.

New chick in my life says she wants condoms, so I went condom shopping. I brought 10 bucks and no expection. Turns out these things are fucking expensive...

So many brands... So many bells and whisles.... I had no idea what I was doing. I just stood in front of the condom wall as if I was buying tampons... Fucking clueless. I looked pathetic... Trojan, Durex, Lifestyle, knock off chinese brands. Ribbed, not ribbed, latex, no latex, big, small, pencil dick, tall boy size.... puffy tip, thin, thick, stretchy, lubed, not lubed, orange tasting... JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!!!

I had to text the girl and ask her what she wanted...

I ended up getting super thin Lifestyles because they were on special... Plain ones. The cheese pizza, regular chip, unsalted butter kind. 16$ for 36 condoms. I feel as if I got screwed over, but whatever. It is what it is...

Now I get to enjoy sex without feeling or orgasms. Yay!


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Re: So I went condom shopping for the first since... Well, probably the first time ever... [Re: Patlal]
    #23736673 -

"big handfuls"  :ohyeahdefinitely:


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Re: So I went condom shopping for the first since... Well, probably the first time ever... [Re: Patlal]
    #23736674 -

Not a fan of lifestyles I remember them being a little tight. It's really not hard man. You should have just bought a couple different kinds to encourage her to help you find the best one. :lol: Next time bro. Trojan and Durex are fine. I tend to get for the more feels kind. The last ones I bought were Trojan bareskin and they were pretty good. I wanna feel the pussy. Drink a little too much before using a regular condom and I've wondered if I'm feeling the pussy at all, or maybe I'm just spoiled.

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Re: So I went condom shopping for the first since... Well, probably the first time ever... [Re: Patlal]
    #23736676 -

Lifestyles utterly blow. Get Trojan think skin if you actually want to semi feel the sex. If you want to dick your girl extremely well, but "Trojan extended." They have numbing cream in the lube so you can stay hard for fucking ever without busting.


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:leaf: :usa:

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Re: So I went condom shopping for the first since... Well, probably the first time ever... [Re: Patlal] * 4
    #23736678 -

Condoms suck, I still have an ultra sensitive lifestyle condom in my wallet from the first pack we bought in high school. Expires this year.
Cant you use a spermicide or something thats not a condom?
Or pressure her into birth control?
Definitely pressure her, threaten her even. It works. I guarantee it.

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Re: So I went condom shopping for the first since... Well, probably the first time ever... [Re: Patlal]
    #23736689 -

Patlal said:
over, but whatever. It is what it is...


LOL! Seriously you are awesome for wrapping it, kudos to you sir!:grin:


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Re: So I went condom shopping for the first since... Well, probably the first time ever... [Re: falsereality]
    #23736701 -

falsereality said:
"big handfuls"  :ohyeahdefinitely:


THey were free. Every guy that walk past them grabbed a handfuul


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Re: So I went condom shopping for the first since... Well, probably the first time ever... [Re: Webster10]
    #23736702 -

Webster10 said:
Lifestyles utterly blow. Get Trojan think skin if you actually want to semi feel the sex. If you want to dick your girl extremely well, but "Trojan extended." They have numbing cream in the lube so you can stay hard for fucking ever without busting.


SO I bought the wrong thing?


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Re: So I went condom shopping for the first since... Well, probably the first time ever... [Re: fuzzipeach]
    #23736714 -

...don't use spermicide. You inject spermicide in your dick and see how you like it.

I dunno if there's any improvement there but it used to be that if she didn't have a sensitivity to that shit, if you use it enough she will develop one and the last thing you want your lady to remember after having sex with you is her cooch being on fire.


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          :dancingbear: Free time is the only time :dancingbear:                    :thatsinteresting:

Edited by CookieCrumbs (10/14/16 12:48 PM)

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Re: So I went condom shopping for the first since... Well, probably the first time ever... [Re: Patlal] * 1
    #23736718 -

Patlal said:
SO I bought the wrong thing?


They're condoms.  Try some different ones, find the ones you like.

You're really over-thinking this.


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...the whole experience is (and is as) a profound piece of knowledge.  It is an indellible experience; it is forever known.  I have known myself in a way I doubt I would have ever occurred except as it did.

Smith, P.  Bull. Menninger Clinic (1959) 23:20-27; p. 27.

...most subjects find the experience valuable, some find it frightening, and many say that is it uniquely lovely.

Osmond, H.  Annals, NY Acad Science (1957) 66:418-434; p.436

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Re: So I went condom shopping for the first since... Well, probably the first time ever... [Re: Patlal]
    #23736719 -

Check out the Trojan bareskin condoms and stay away from the flavored packs. As cookie crumbs said, don't use spermicide.


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Re: So I went condom shopping for the first since... Well, probably the first time ever... [Re: falsereality] * 8
    #23736727 -

Patlal wants us to know that he has found a consensual partner & he anticipates having sex in the near future.  I'm happy for you, Pat.

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Re: So I went condom shopping for the first since... Well, probably the first time ever... [Re: Burke Dennings]
    #23736730 -

Burke Dennings said:
Patlal wants us to know that he has found a consensual partner & he anticipates having sex in the near future.  I'm happy for you, Pat.


Thanks man. My kidnapping days are over.


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Re: So I went condom shopping for the first since... Well, probably the first time ever... [Re: Patlal]
    #23736751 -

Maybe she's really kinky and you can kidnap people together.

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Re: So I went condom shopping for the first since... Well, probably the first time ever... [Re: Patlal]
    #23736762 -

I work at walgreens and every time someone buys condoms I say "condoms... nice" and give them a wink or two.

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Re: So I went condom shopping for the first since... Well, probably the first time ever... [Re: Patlal]
    #23736769 -

This comes across as being so inept.

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Re: So I went condom shopping for the first since... Well, probably the first time ever... [Re: mt cleverest] * 2
    #23736776 -

One time when I was a night cashier at a grocery store, a man came in, looked around, and came right back. He asked if we had any condoms. I said no but there's lube on aisle 10. So he says, "Well I guess she's taking it in the pooper tonight!"

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Re: So I went condom shopping for the first since... Well, probably the first time ever... [Re: Bodhi of Ankou]
    #23736777 -

Irony of Bodhi

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Re: So I went condom shopping for the first since... Well, probably the first time ever... [Re: 1234go] * 1
    #23736779 -

#shootitdown

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Re: So I went condom shopping for the first since... Well, probably the first time ever... [Re: Patlal]
    #23736783 -

Patlal said:
Burke Dennings said:
Patlal wants us to know that he has found a consensual partner & he anticipates having sex in the near future.  I'm happy for you, Pat.


Thanks man. My kidnapping days are over.



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