|
KamikazeKush
A Most Curious Explorer



Registered: 12/03/13
Posts: 622
Loc: Azeroth mostly
Last seen: 3 years, 5 months
|
Dealing with Alzheimer's
#23579789 - 08/26/16 12:26 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
|
|
Anyone ever have to experience this? I've been living with my grandparents since I was a kid so naturally instead of my parents I was just supposed to step up and take care of them in their old age. But my grandpas got the shit so bad, and it's driving me insane. How'd you do it? Because I want to rip my goddam hair out.
Yesterday he tried to punch my grandma because of an argument and ended up missing and falling down, so I came home from the store to him all busted and bleeding everywhere.
-------------------- A Man Said to the Universe: “Sir, I exist!” “However,” replied the universe, “The fact has not created in me A sense of obligation.” -Stephen Crane
|
BANANA.MAN
Turd Ferguson


Registered: 01/11/15
Posts: 7,474
Loc: Ontario Canada
Last seen: 6 months, 3 days
|
|
My grandma has it really bad but she lives a 4+ hour drive away so i dont see her very often. Its hard on my grandfather though.
At first she just lost her memory but now she does and says weird stuff so we are putting her in a home. Its not fair to the one with the condition because only proffesionals are equipped to look after them properly. Especially if your grandfather is falling and hurting himself and being violent. Its also not fair to the ones who have to see someone that they care about go through this everyday.
My mom even told me to put her in a home when she looses it and not to worry about her. Just come by every once in a while to make sure that she has nice things around her. Its a really hard thing to deal with and proffesional help is the way to go in my opinion.
|
SunnyD
WiZarD oF LoVe



Registered: 04/29/13
Posts: 25,236
Loc: Planet earth
Last seen: 1 month, 22 days
|
|
My grandma had it, she was my best friend growing up so it was hard on me, she's at rest n prolly anew now  Call me a shitty person but that's disease is such BS I would not live with anyone for long who has It..
Ita just complete madness
If I ever get it, I will kill myself, I wouldn't put anyone thru it
And nursing homes are so expensive so old what I'll do if my dad gets it, I won't be taking care though. .. if he becomes violent or belligerent
Call me whatever you wil, but I won't let a disease like this destroy my happiness for years n years
He's always been a tense violent man at times deep down and guns and mental illness like Alzheimer's don't mix I wouldn't wanna be around that
A nursing home is the safest, least stressful option but there stupidly expensive
All I can say is don't let that disease drag you down with it

Alzheimer's is such bullshit
--------------------
        And to everyone who thinks life is just a game, Do you like the part you are playing? This is the time in life I am living! And I face each day with a smile My music Library of Synthesizer goodness
Edited by SunnyD (08/26/16 02:14 PM)
|
blutigmetzger
Strange




Registered: 10/14/13
Posts: 184
Last seen: 3 years, 10 months
|
Re: Dealing with Alzheimer's [Re: SunnyD]
#23580186 - 08/26/16 01:57 PM (7 years, 5 months ago) |
|
|
My grandpa started showing signs of Alzheimer's when I was probably in 9th grade and slowly worsened to the point the my parents and I, living just down the road, would go to my grandparent's house everyday and help take care of him.
At first it was just him forgetting things and combined with his diabetes and basically knees that had worn down so badly there was almost no cartilage left (he was denied surgery a few years before due to diabetes and age). So we would basically just walk behind him as he went upstairs to make sure he didn't fall down and hurt himself.
During the last few years of high school I would work after I got off school and then when I got off work would head to their house, visit with grandma and grandpa and after a while help to get his clothes changed and into bed. By this point he had forgotten who most of us were but always maintained his good nature and penchant to joke.
After graduation I had started work at a factory and he worsened significantly. So much so I was forced to quit and stay at home to help my grandma take care of him. He had been ill in the fall of 2007 and due to diabetes and lack of eating anything fell in the kitchen and spent a few days in the hospital and a few weeks in a nursing home for rehabilitation. The level of disdain the workers there had towards the patients was clearly evident and he often complained of people being mean to him and being rough.
He was cleared to come home and between myself my grandma and occasionally an aunt we would get him up in the morning and into his chair and to a commode since he couldn't walk well. During the evening my parents and I would again spend time with him and get him into bed. We kept this up daily until around October of 2008, when he began to decline in health rapidly and became bedridden, slowly losing more of his time to unconsciousness than to consciousness and virtually none to lucidity. Hospice came and helped to take care of him medically and we did everything we could to make him comfortable and safe. Then in early November my sister, mother and I were down with him and my grandmother, waiting for my dad to come home from his business trip and spend a little time with his parents before we went home again. Shortly after dad got there, went to grandpa's bed and told him he was there, grandpa's breathing roughened and withing 15 minutes he had died.
It is definitely difficult to deal with family members having Alzheimer's, it can bring the worst out of them and those that are around them. Grandma would get aggravated at him for things he would do but I would stay with him and she would go out shopping for a few hours and cool down. My dad's family were practically useless. His brother basically refused to be in the room with him because he said it was too hard to see his father like that. That's bull shit. It's your family and you owe it to them to be near. You don't have to be there all the time, but no matter how hard it is for you, it's got to be worse for them.
We could all see the frustration in grandpa's eyes when he would be so close to getting something across but never managing, there were many times he just couldn't get his words right to get his point across and it just takes patience. Thankfully my grandpa was never aggressive or threatening in anyway, just wanted to tell stories and have a beer with me or my dad. Even though it was a trying time to go through all of it, I don't think I would change it. It gave my family and I some funny stories to remember him by and kept us close to him until the end.
That all being said, it is a brutal disease and I would prefer to never have it or have anyone I know have to deal with it, or anyone for that matter
TL:DR
Alzheimer's sucks. Try to be there for whoever has it, but if they are aggressive you may need additional help so they don't hurt people helping them or themselves.
|
KamikazeKush
A Most Curious Explorer



Registered: 12/03/13
Posts: 622
Loc: Azeroth mostly
Last seen: 3 years, 5 months
|
|
^^^ pretty much story of my life man. I feel so guilty because I resent him and I love him to much to have him put in a home. I'm really struggling.
-------------------- A Man Said to the Universe: “Sir, I exist!” “However,” replied the universe, “The fact has not created in me A sense of obligation.” -Stephen Crane
|
blutigmetzger
Strange




Registered: 10/14/13
Posts: 184
Last seen: 3 years, 10 months
|
|
Yeah I hear ya man, it's an awful situation to be in. Its definitely hard to see them in a nursing home but it he makes it potentially dangerous for your grandma or you or anyone else it kinda becomes a whole other problem. It's one thing just to have to deal with Alzheimer's but anger and violence with it is just about the worst mix because they seem to be frustrated a lot especially when they are partially lucid.
|
saythatagain



Registered: 04/11/15
Posts: 980
Loc: Spaceship Earth
Last seen: 10 months, 3 days
|
|
My grandfather died three weeks ago today after about 4 years of dementia/Alzheimer's. He had been dealing with dementia for at least ten years by the time it started getting bad. I don't think he was ever formally diagnosed with Alzheimer's, but he got pneumonia when he was about 80 and was in and out of hospitals and hospice on the verge of death for about a year. He recovered pretty well physically but his cognition went downhill from there. He moved into assisted living and was pretty independant for a while minus the nurses getting him to take his meds and eat. It just progressively got worse, eventually he couldn't remember who anybody was except the nurses and my aunt who spent time with him everyday. His place was about a two hour drive from where I lived, so I saw him once or twice a month. I saw him about a week before he died and he was pretty much catatonic. He stopped eating and drinking and my father and his siblings let him pass away peacefully. He wasn't suffering ever but we all were ready for a while before he died.
-------------------- Trade List
|
Seriously_trippin
Cosmic Guru Ganesh



Registered: 07/12/13
Posts: 14,473
Last seen: 5 hours, 58 minutes
|
|
I took care of my grandma who had dementia , from ages16-20. It progressed to Alzheimers for 2 years until she passed and it was essentially a 24 hour job. I had to quit my job actually. Honestly it's a horrible way to live for everyone involved . But all that is still better then sticking them in a home. I could understand if you make that decision but you're asking what I think and this is the only real world experience I have. It's extremely tough and it sounds morbid but my gma couldn't walk so it was much easier on us. And probably her too,the hallucinations get gnarly and I can't imagine how it would've been. It will get to a point where they will be about 5-7 years old mentally and as you may know Alzhemiers is ultimately fatal. I was incredibly shocked when she passed because I thought I had to put away the fact that she was terminal to take care of her and I wish I would've just dealt with it then.
Normally getting good advice from me here is like pulling teeth but she passed last August so I've been through it recently and understand and empathize. My is open
-------------------- R.I.P Zombi3, Blue Helix Modest Mouse Zappa Slothie That Kid With The face ShLong Le Canard split_by_nine & Big Worm Forever Etched in the sands of time in the shroomery and ever so beloved and deeply missed by many
Edited by Seriously_trippin (08/28/16 02:38 PM)
|
KamikazeKush
A Most Curious Explorer



Registered: 12/03/13
Posts: 622
Loc: Azeroth mostly
Last seen: 3 years, 5 months
|
|
I appreciate all the support friends, though I don't feel better I can take solace in the fact that I am not alone in this :/
-------------------- A Man Said to the Universe: “Sir, I exist!” “However,” replied the universe, “The fact has not created in me A sense of obligation.” -Stephen Crane
|
zZZz
jesus


Registered: 12/28/07
Posts: 33,478
|
|
Hey man I hope everything goes well for u and ur fam
|
something super extreme
NIGGA YOU A FUCK NIGGA!


Registered: 10/29/12
Posts: 17,397
Loc: TURNT UP!
|
|
push them down the stairs
|
KamikazeKush
A Most Curious Explorer



Registered: 12/03/13
Posts: 622
Loc: Azeroth mostly
Last seen: 3 years, 5 months
|
|
Quote:
zZZz said: Hey man I hope everything goes well for u and ur fam 
Appreciate it <3
Quote:
something super extreme said: push them down the stairs
I'd be lying if I said the thought hadn't crossed my mind :/
-------------------- A Man Said to the Universe: “Sir, I exist!” “However,” replied the universe, “The fact has not created in me A sense of obligation.” -Stephen Crane
|
RedBalloon
Jenny


Registered: 08/23/16
Posts: 163
Last seen: 7 years, 4 months
|
|
thee truvada i use and tivicay tend to make me forgetful, because my pat is zipped into the present and my future is zipped in to the present
-------------------- i like to keep it mello, ya i keep it mello, i like to keep it mellow, ya i keep it mello, i like to keep it mello -Jenny Camilla Baker
|
pirate-blues


Registered: 10/15/12
Posts: 13,656
|
Re: Dealing with Alzheimer's [Re: RedBalloon]
#23590370 - 08/29/16 03:08 PM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
Yeah, my grandmother has got it - though she's only moderate at the moment, she's in a nursing home where the residents still have some level of independence, but she's incontinent and she will probably have to move next door to the more intensive facility in another year. Thinks she's at work or school most of the time, her short term memory seems to be the thing that suffers the most - she repeats herself a lot, sometimes she forgets who my brother is, but she never forgets me - though sometimes she'll call me her niece, I know what she means though.
The weirdest one is her thinking that her mother in law is in the same facility, she tried telling my mom that she was doing well and that she sees her all the time, and the lady died like 50 years ago.
She's gonna be a great grandma soon and she's very happy about that, she's stopped telling me to find a husband and telling me to cover myself up(for wearing totally appropriate shorts in 90 degree weather), and she's a little nicer when she's super out of it - which is a more pleasant route than the people who tend to get very mean of scared/confused with Alzheimers. Like everyone, she's got her good days and her bad days, but she tends to get more confused when the sun goes down, which I understand is common.
|
Le_Canard
The Duk Abides


Registered: 05/16/03
Posts: 94,392
Loc: Earthfarm 1
|
|
Quote:
KamikazeKush said: ^^^ pretty much story of my life man. I feel so guilty because I resent him and I love him to much to have him put in a home. I'm really struggling.
Do it. It's what's best for all concerned.
|
saythatagain



Registered: 04/11/15
Posts: 980
Loc: Spaceship Earth
Last seen: 10 months, 3 days
|
Re: Dealing with Alzheimer's [Re: Le_Canard]
#23590739 - 08/29/16 04:46 PM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
On the euthanasia topic, I have to admit it did cross my mind. My father unapolegetically said he wished his dad would die, and I totally understand it. It's tough to see someone wither away, you wish it would end before it got any worse.
-------------------- Trade List
|
|