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Anonymous #1

my old life is over....
    #2297260 - 02/03/04 12:22 PM (20 years, 1 month ago)

I am seeing a therapist... I think I might qualify for some perscription meds... I can't control my emotions on a daily basis..I go from extreme happiness to sucidial in a matter of mins...

my goals are to stop doing all drugs(illegal). I am only doing this because I want to focus my life on one thing and one thing only... every girl I meet doesn't do any drugs and after awhile it starts to get to me since I can't have a open relationship with them...

I have stopped smoking pot since 1/31/04. I haven't had any cravings until a minute ago(thats why I am making this thread).

I used pot to calm out my mood swings but since I am not going to rely on it anymore I might be getting really moody soon...

I am being realistic with myself. I know that I might relapse and that its normal to do so. but I am going to work really hard at not doing any drugs...

if I don't qualify for and doctor meds then I know my road will be harder to travel on but I am going to make that change...

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Offlinemanna_man
High onlife.....andcrack

Registered: 06/10/03
Posts: 481
Loc: Vancouver
Last seen: 18 years, 5 months
Re: my old life is over.... [Re: ]
    #2297282 - 02/03/04 12:30 PM (20 years, 1 month ago)

Hey man, I applaud you for making that difficult decision not to do drugs.
Just the thought that you no longer need them is enough to boost your confidence and make you much happier. It's been about 6 months since I've touched anything, including alcohol, and it feels pretty dang good to say that. It's good that you know what you want and are doing whatever it takes to get you there.

It'll be tough for a while, but just stay in there.


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This post is protected under copyrite law.All above content is strictly the property of ?manna_man.Any infringement of copyright property is strictly prohibited.Any violators will be stretched, shot, and then vaporized into a state of anti-matter, where they will cease to exist.

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Anonymous #1

Re: my old life is over.... [Re: manna_man]
    #2297419 - 02/03/04 01:17 PM (20 years, 1 month ago)

yeah its killing me now....

I have pot stilling right here.. but i am not going to smoke it...I am just going to give it away...

what sucks even more is that, my roommate can get acid on call now... but I am also going to turn that down too...

I know that each time I turn it down it will get me one more step closer to focusing on my goals...

thanks for your post, it helps to know someone else can do it and has gone through it too. :laugh:

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Invisibleblacksabbathrulz
 User Gallery
Registered: 05/22/02
Posts: 2,511
Re: my old life is over.... [Re: ]
    #2297434 - 02/03/04 01:22 PM (20 years, 1 month ago)

Yeah man, just hang in there. I think if you can hold off for a couple of weeks it will be a lot easier. Just got to get everything out of your system. I don't know what your eating habits are, but try to eat really healthy for the next few weeks too, that might help, and most of all, keep yourself busy. I know its not great advice, but its practical, hopefully you achieve your goals.


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Offlinepattern
multiplayer

Registered: 07/19/02
Posts: 2,185
Loc: Canada
Last seen: 4 years, 16 days
Re: my old life is over.... [Re: ]
    #2297563 - 02/03/04 02:02 PM (20 years, 1 month ago)

You can do it man, although going cold turkey is tough. I think pot is the most important drug to drop first. It might even be causing your mood swings. Never buy any. If you still have some, dont keep it around. Flush it, give it to your roommate, or smoke it all right now and go out with a bang. Having it around is just gonna drive you nuts. Drink lots of water and eat healthy.

I've quit pot and I am clean right now.

Therapists are fun. Its nice to be able to just say anything thats on your mind and they have to listen. I'd tell this one guy all my theories and about all the girls I met. Dont let them run your life and dont use them as a crutch, they ARE in it for the money, not to be your best pal. I ended up quitting therapy, and redirecting all that energy towards my friends instead of at a psychologist, and my social life is way better.

I wish you all the luck and hope you land yourself a great girl!


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man = monkey + mushroom

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OfflineStrumpling
Neuronaut
Registered: 10/11/02
Posts: 7,571
Loc: Hyperspace
Last seen: 12 years, 10 months
Re: my old life is over.... [Re: ]
    #2297566 - 02/03/04 02:02 PM (20 years, 1 month ago)

Good luck, and enjoy the beaten path - the longer you hold off, the easier it will get to make it even longer


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Insert an "I think" mentally in front of eveything I say that seems sketchy, because I certainly don't KNOW much. Also; feel free to yell at me.
In addition: SHPONGLE

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Anonymous #1

Re: my old life is over.... [Re: pattern]
    #2297655 - 02/03/04 02:27 PM (20 years, 1 month ago)

thanks guys!

the problem I have is that my roommate still smokes pot.. he is not quitting.. so I will have to be around it but I can learn to pass and not smoke I think...

thanks for the advice on eating healthy, I will be starting today.

I am giving away all my pot... it hurts b/c I have been looking at it for the past 4 days...it hurts to lose money but I guess I lost alot of money spending it on drugs to begin with...

I am letting all my friends know that I need moral support from them too...I know this is something I am going to need help with...
I am using the therapist to work out issues I have before drugs.. I need to know about why I do certain things...

Quote:

I wish you all the luck and hope you land yourself a great girl!





I hope I land a great girl too!

I plan on moving out in august so I can distance myself futher from the drug scene...

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OfflineOook
Oook!

Registered: 08/19/03
Posts: 533
Loc: England
Last seen: 19 years, 6 months
Re: my old life is over.... [Re: ]
    #2297945 - 02/03/04 03:45 PM (20 years, 1 month ago)

I used to get a crazy buzz in my head when I first started seeing a consellor type person. The first one was alrite but the second person I saw relied on his textbooks too heavily, he was wrong basically.

You should try and do as much stuff as possible, even if it's just playing a computer game or something it will take your mind off wanting to smoke. Maybe you have some hobbies that you quite due to smoking that you could do again even if its purely for distraction.

If you do get prescribed something I would see if you can get Lexapro, it's completely changed my life and I mean this in a good way. However for the first 4-6 weeks I felt suicidal pretty much the whole time, sort of a tradeoff really but i'm glad I stuck with them.

Edited by Oook (02/03/04 03:54 PM)

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Anonymous #2

g00d 4 U [Re: ]
    #2298958 - 02/03/04 10:07 PM (20 years, 1 month ago)

d

Edited by shaos (04/19/11 07:31 PM)

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Anonymous #1

Re: my old life is over.... [Re: Oook]
    #2299249 - 02/03/04 11:41 PM (20 years, 1 month ago)

Lexapro, sounds scary... but I am willing to do anything..

centrum - I will ask about the paxil, my therapist seems like a good person. she has kids and is of indian(india) desent.  she was suprised with my knowledge of all the drugs I do, so maybe I can help her understand that I am not quitting b/c I think the drugs are bad. I want her to understnad that I am quitting so that I can focus my life more.  I will always have a place in my heart for MJ and mescaline.  And I will always spread the word, but for now I need ot get myself in a regular schedeule. :smile:

P.S. I am moving to cali in august! :laugh:  I will tell you more about it on AIM.

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InvisibleCoolBlue
n00b
Registered: 09/16/03
Posts: 619
Re: my old life is over.... [Re: ]
    #2299371 - 02/04/04 12:34 AM (20 years, 1 month ago)

Man Im sorry to hear that you have been feeling this way lately.  I know how you feel tho as I am going through the same ordeal at the moment.  Pot is very hard for me to get away from and I think its more like a temptation from the devil than anything else.  Like I told you on AIM Ive been getting the depressed feelings lately too so if you ever need to talk about anything just know that Im around bud and am always there to listen.  :laugh:  Hopefully I can still make it out for spring break. 

PS my sister lives in la maybe you guys could introduce me to centrum and the other inhabitants of that fair city :laugh:

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OfflineInfrared
sleeping
Male User Gallery

Registered: 07/15/02
Posts: 12,988
Loc: Chicago, USA Flag
Last seen: 2 years, 2 months
Re: my old life is over.... [Re: ]
    #2299373 - 02/04/04 12:35 AM (20 years, 1 month ago)

I loath anti-depressants.... get some valium or some xanax. everytime i quit smoking bud, i get bad insomnia and anxiety. I'm getting myself a bottle of xanax and i'll just take one when i need it. i only plan on quiting for a couple weeks or a month though,  just to lower my tolerance and wait for the warmth :grin:  :sun: :pill: :tongue2: :thumbup: ........ :pill2: :shiftyeyes: :thumbdown:


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When chemistry is outlawed.. Only outlaws have chemistry:rainbowdrink:

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InvisibleGalvie_Flu
 User Gallery

Registered: 06/30/02
Posts: 6,632
Re: my old life is over.... [Re: Infrared]
    #2299409 - 02/04/04 01:07 AM (20 years, 1 month ago)

i was actually gonna go against the benzo's, cuz of a family member with a small addiction.

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Anonymous #1

Re: my old life is over.... [Re: Galvie_Flu]
    #2299808 - 02/04/04 07:34 AM (20 years, 1 month ago)

deep - the antidepressants scare the hell out of me personal.. but I need to be clean of illegal drugs for the time being... I only want to take any drug that is prescribed to me.

I get the strangest time for cravings now... I am at work and all I want is pot...I have all the donuts and coffee a man can eat but I have a big fuckin craving for pot. I never had a craving at work like this before...I have been drinking more lately though... Not really to get drunk but I will have one beer everyday almost...its actually not like me to do that either since I am not a big fan of alcohol...

should I be worried about my recent alcohol consuption? I don't have the risk of being an alcoholic, since it doesn't run in the family, plus I can't stand the taste of most kinds of alcohol... I am a light weight though.. I can drink 2 beers and feel a good buzz... and if I take 2 shots afterwards I am drunk as a skunk...

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OfflineOook
Oook!

Registered: 08/19/03
Posts: 533
Loc: England
Last seen: 19 years, 6 months
Re: my old life is over.... [Re: ]
    #2299888 - 02/04/04 08:15 AM (20 years, 1 month ago)

I wouldn't worry about the alcohol, atm you alcohol use is highly moderated so you should be good make sure you try not to have beer literally every day though.

IME paxil did not really do anything, I took it for about 6 - 9 months a couple of years back. I cannot say though, there are many types of antidepressant one that works for me may not work for you and vice versa. Lexapro is the only antidepresant out of the 3 I have taken that actually does the job, I know a friend who has depression and anxiety like me and Lexapro works like a treat for him aswell.

I am hardly qualified to give you advice on which meds you should and shouldn't take, but I hardly think self medicating like Deep said would be a good idea.

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InvisibleZero7a1
Leaving YourWasteland

Registered: 10/23/02
Posts: 3,594
Loc: Passing Cloud
Re: my old life is over.... [Re: ]
    #2300260 - 02/04/04 10:50 AM (20 years, 1 month ago)

Try replacing pot, you will need something to compensate for the lack of it. Start reading, excersize, pick up a hobby, SOMETHING that will cause you to learn, focus, and make your cravings subside. Remember to go outside, and look at the sky, and forget about yourself. It might make it easier when you have swings.

Ive thankfully been able to quit smoking weed, and quit taking anti depressants, and focus on school. It became very important to me that i go to school, and i come prepared mentally and physically.

But try excersizing your brain, you will learn how to better control your thoughts and more so, your actions.

WHen i went to see my doctor, and before when i saw my therapist, they BOTH told me to pick up a hobby, do some kind of activity that would stimulate my brain and make me forget about the other stuff, when you are not so hung up on the emotional issues, it may become easier for you to deal with the problems you face instead of turning to the drugs to thin out your emotions.

MOst of all, good luck!


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What?

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Invisibleblacksabbathrulz
 User Gallery
Registered: 05/22/02
Posts: 2,511
Re: my old life is over.... [Re: Zero7a1]
    #2300383 - 02/04/04 11:35 AM (20 years, 1 month ago)

Yeah I couldn't agree with zero more. I've never had a problem stopping because I only smoke a couple times a week, I keep super busy studying chemistry at school so I dont have time to smoke. I did smoke a lot over the summer though and it was hard not to smoke when school started. I excersized a lot more than normal so that I could fall asleep at night initially, and made sure I had video games or something to do in the free time I did have. The key things are to stay away from pot, or those using it if at all possible, and keeping yourself entertained. I guess busy might not be good since you said at work you craved it, however if you can immerse yourself in something you should be able to get it off your mind. If you want some video games I would recommend any of the final fantasy games, they take a good long while to beat and are very entertaining. Pretty much any RPG should be able to take up your time and keep you entertained.


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Anonymous #1

Re: my old life is over.... [Re: blacksabbathrulz]
    #2300485 - 02/04/04 12:01 PM (20 years, 1 month ago)

yeah, it me again.. I think I am going to respond to this thread everytime I have a big craving. its seems to help and pass the time... I would usually write my problems out on paper or write some songs but I haven't been in the mood lately.

I heard lexapro is the way to go.  It sounds like the best one out now. I will talk to my therapist about it and see if we can get me on it asap...

today was the first day that I remember for awhile that I was depressed(sucidial).  I don't think about getting a gun and killing myself but i have the strong urge not to live anymore..or not wake up and get out of bed...

its one of the things I always hate about myself.. I feel like I need to be miserable to be happy and I don't like that at all.  I have a feeling that this morning wont be the last morning I feel like this again.  I was like this 10 months ago when I quit all drugs for a month.. I ended up smoking and I felt so much better.

well these are my thoughts and actions.. I hope I don't scary anyone away. :wink: 

P.S. you don't have to worry, I don't think I will kill myself. I think its more of a thought...

BTW I only get sucidial in the mornings... it reminds me of that caddy shack quote... which I can't remember. :tongue:

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Invisibleblacksabbathrulz
 User Gallery
Registered: 05/22/02
Posts: 2,511
Re: my old life is over.... [Re: ]
    #2301536 - 02/04/04 03:40 PM (20 years, 1 month ago)

Yeah man, I know I might catch some flak for this but pot really can make you amotivational. I know when I smoke a lot I dont want to go to school or do work, especially when I have to get up at 7 to go to school. Just fight through it, over time it will become easier. I can't explain why but it just does become easier. It may take a couple of weeks or possibly a month to feel a whole lot better. Although Im guessing it will gradually become easier. Hopefully everything works out for you. Hang in there.


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Anonymous #1

Re: my old life is over.... [Re: blacksabbathrulz]
    #2301709 - 02/04/04 04:27 PM (20 years, 1 month ago)

thanks man! thats what I needed to here again..

I am feeling a bit better.. I have been so busy lately that I can't think of much and I dont' have the time to smoke at all... but I think now that I chose not to smoke I seem to want it more...


time to work out. :smile:

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