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Dont feel a connection with the dog i adopted 4 months ago. Anyone had a similar situation?
    #19777135 -

So about 4 months ago i adopted a dog from the local shelter. Her name is maisey and shes a 2 year old little beagle mix. She gets along great with max the other adopted dog we got from the same shelter a year and a 1/2 ago. Shes house broken, well behaved, gets along with ALL other dogs. Shes been the easiest dog to train since i got her.

However ive run into a problem, we just dont have a connection. When she was at the shelter she was so loving and friendly with the staff there (female) and i thought shed warm up to me and my fiance. (were both guys) And she definitely has compared to when we first got her. But when shes around women friends and family its a 1000000% change. If we raise our voice to her about anything and im not saying yelling just a stern "no" she pees and runs and hides. She would much rather hang out with the other dog max than us and shes very independent. Until a girl comes over. Then shes crazy about them. I have very strong feelings that she was possibly abused by male owners in the past.

Ive never had a shelter dog of my own before maisey. I had 1 female pit that i had from 8 weeks till 13 years when i had her put down at the shelter we got her and max from. (BTW i waited a year and 3 months before getting a new dog after putting my first one down i was well and over grieving and ready for another dog)I guess im just asking should i feel bad about giving maisey away If i found a female owner looking for a good dog and they got along real well?

I would NEVER want her to go back into the adoption system (i was told that before she arrived at the shelter she was in a kennel for a year) and would only want her to go to a REAL GOOD forever home. I just dont know if me and her are a good fit together. I feel terrible saying that because shes an incredible sweet well behaved dog. Shes just really standoffish with me and my fiance and no matter what i try to do to encourage bonding with us shes just not interested.

I feel bad even thinking about finding another home but i also feel bad that she may not have the best life with me if shes really skittish around males. The change with her around women is astronomical.

There was a 30 day return policy for dogs at the shelter but i didnt think that was long enough to establish a bond. Were into our 4th month now and im still willing to give it more time but i figured you veteran dog owners might have some advice.


:highfive:


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“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.”- Dr. Seuss

"Too much of a good thing, can be wonderful!" - Mae West

"If you have nothing nice to say about anyone, come sit next to me."
- Alice Roosevelt Longworth




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Re: Dont feel a connection with the dog i adopted 4 months ago. Anyone had a similar situation? [Re: Rewindicus] * 1
    #19777155 -

DSHSB


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"There are a million reasons to drink and one just popped into my head.  If a man can't drink when he's living how the Hell can he drink when he's dead?" - Irish Limerick
I PLURed once because it was PLUR or die. - D.M.T.

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Re: Dont feel a connection with the dog i adopted 4 months ago. Anyone had a similar situation? [Re: The Doobie Dude]
    #19777195 -

Op's a fuckin' weirdo.


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No sympathy for the devil, keep that in mind.
[url=
]Buy the ticket, take the ride. [/url]
Are you lost?

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Re: Dont feel a connection with the dog i adopted 4 months ago. Anyone had a similar situation? [Re: Legend] * 2
    #19777222 -

Trip.


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www.piday.org/million/

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Re: Dont feel a connection with the dog i adopted 4 months ago. Anyone had a similar situation? [Re: Icyus] * 1
    #19777295 -

Don't give up on your dog man! Especially if she's been abused.  Positive reinforcement.  Put bacon in your pocket. That bitch'll think you're Dr. Doolittle.


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A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an
invasion, butcher a hog, design a building, conn a ship, write a
sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the
dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve an
equation, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a
computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly.
Specialization is for insects.- Robert A. Heinlein
Saint RedBow of the Shroomey Loomey-Patron Saint of Sandbaggin Sumbitchs

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Re: Dont feel a connection with the dog i adopted 4 months ago. Anyone had a similar situation? [Re: Rewindicus] * 3
    #19777297 -

That's a tough one OP.  If a dog's been abused it can take a long time to win its trust.  I'd say the best you can do is offer her a steady and stress-free environment, and make an effort to try to interact with her when you have free time.  Pets are often have weird needs that conflict with out desires, sadly.


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“Strengthened by contemplation and study,
I will not fear my passions like a coward.
My body I will give to pleasures,
to diversions that I’ve dreamed of,
to the most daring erotic desires,
to the lustful impulses of my blood, without
any fear at all, for whenever I will—
and I will have the will, strengthened
as I’ll be with contemplation and study—
at the crucial moments I’ll recover
my spirit as was before: ascetic.”

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Re: Dont feel a connection with the dog i adopted 4 months ago. Anyone had a similar situation? [Re: TheGreenArrow]
    #19777307 -

TheGreenArrow said:
Don't give up on your dog man! Especially if she's been abused.  Positive reinforcement.  Put bacon in your pocket. That bitch'll think you're Dr. Doolittle.


yeah i agree. i took one of our rescue dogs alot longer than 4 months to feel fully comfortable at our house, and she was only about a year old.

just be pateint and loyal, your dog will reward you for it

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Re: Dont feel a connection with the dog i adopted 4 months ago. Anyone had a similar situation? [Re: TheGreenArrow]
    #19777310 -

That's a real tough one man, I feel the difficulty of your situation, I'm not sure what the right answer is though. It may be worth sticking at it, would sure feel more rewarding if it worked. Maybe give her a bit more time to realise that she isn't being abused and that you guys love her

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Re: Dont feel a connection with the dog i adopted 4 months ago. Anyone had a similar situation? [Re: ONSLAUGHTA]
    #19777469 -

I got my pure bred shiba inu last june. she had been raised by female owners and she was really timid around me until our first big road trip. she gets really excited and focused on girls when they're around, but I can tell she knows i'm the one protecting her. instead of giving her negative reinforcement commands like "no", try something else like immediately cleaning up her pee without letting it bother you. if she gets a reaction she expects and understands, strangely enough she will continue striving for that attention, even if it's negative. anything else unknown to her can be extremely scary even if it's the most positive reinforcement ever.

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Re: Dont feel a connection with the dog i adopted 4 months ago. Anyone had a similar situation? [Re: Rewindicus]
    #19777490 -

I agree with others, just give it more time. It sounds like she's pretty happy with you since she has another dog to get along with. She may not ever show you the affection you want from her (but probably will someday) but at least it sounds like she has a nice place to live. :heart:


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Re: Dont feel a connection with the dog i adopted 4 months ago. Anyone had a similar situation? [Re: claraclairvoyant]
    #19777584 -

I had a consult with a professional dog trainer and he spotted a lot of little things about the dogs that my untrained eye could not see. Different from your problem but maybe that would help. For me it was only $50 and well worth it. A few changes in how I handled the dogs made a big difference in their behavior.

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Re: Dont feel a connection with the dog i adopted 4 months ago. Anyone had a similar situation? [Re: TGS]
    #19777625 -

Dog has been abused..... it isn't surprising that its gonna take time.

Seriously though, spoil the dog, feed it some good ol bacon.... give it bones, take it for plenty of walks

Beagles love to go hunting, if you're into that, go find a good rabbit field...

Plenty of ways to show the dog you're very nice. It just takes time. A few months is nothing to a dog that has been abused for over a year.

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Re: Dont feel a connection with the dog i adopted 4 months ago. Anyone had a similar situation? [Re: TGS]
    #19777647 -

Take her out and let her run bunnies that's what beagles are about. She''l love you for it. Even mixes. First few times use one of those retractable leashes and whistle train her. and reward her when she comes with snacks and a good petting then gradually ween her of the snacks by then your praise will be enough. :thumbup: Just don't let her get on a deer you might not see her for days or even weeks.


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:kingcrankey: Please report me to a Mod for hurting your punk ass hippie feelings :flipthebird: And all time Champion thread killer.:thatsayes:

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Re: Dont feel a connection with the dog i adopted 4 months ago. Anyone had a similar situation? [Re: r00tuuu123]
    #19777785 -

It takes a very long time for an abused dog to feel 100% comfortable in a new situation. I have 5 dogs now and one of my dogs just has a timid personality since she was a pup. She's three now and it was only recently did she stop peeing when people raised their voice in her vicinity, and not yelling at her. She was never hit, smacked, or abused, but some dogs are just fearful. Her abusers might have been men, so that might be another factor for her timid behavior. My mastiff may be timid, but she's a great dog, but it took a couple years for her to really warm up to us.

Like the others said, positive reinforcement, a whole lot of treats and ear scratches and she'll be on her way to being a more outgoing dog. :thumbup:

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Re: Dont feel a connection with the dog i adopted 4 months ago. Anyone had a similar situation? [Re: jadels215]
    #19779097 -

Thanks for the responses guys. Like I said this is only my 2nd dog and first rescue so it's unknown territory for me. I really do like her she's a good dog I just don't want her to be afraid of her own owners you know?

I'm going to give it more time but I still wanted some opinions. All my friends see that she's not really into us an think we should totally find a female owner for her but strangers opinions are good to take in too.

I'll update this in a couple months if anything changes.

Really appreciate it guys.

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Re: Dont feel a connection with the dog i adopted 4 months ago. Anyone had a similar situation? [Re: Anonymous]
    #19779105 -

Dude, I have had a dog for a few years that I dont have an amazing connection with but I still look after him completely, up until recently he has really warmed up to me.

Its a rescue, you have to understand that the first 6 months of a puppies life can completely form their personality.  Dont give up, even if you think it doesn't love you Im sure it does if it has no reason to hate you.

As far as being scared of you, it happens, dont think too much into it.  I have a cat that runs from me every time in total fear, but 5 minutes later he comes rubbing up on my leg cause he knows I just want to pet him.

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Re: Dont feel a connection with the dog i adopted 4 months ago. Anyone had a similar situation? [Re: Anonymous]
    #19779108 -

Positive reinforcement is all you can do. Over time, the dog will become a lot more happy and comfortable. You have to remember that this dog has been all over the place, the dog has no idea if this is temporary or permanent.

It'll just reinforce the idea that he'll never know where he is going next if you get rid of him so soon, and he'll be even worse for the next family. I could be wrong, but I've been around a lot of abused dogs when I volunteered at a shelter.

Show it love selflessly.... and it will come around. :blush:

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Re: Dont feel a connection with the dog i adopted 4 months ago. Anyone had a similar situation? [Re: Rewindicus]
    #19779224 -

Rewindicus said:
me and my fiance. (were both guys)



:ugh:

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Re: Dont feel a connection with the dog i adopted 4 months ago. Anyone had a similar situation? [Re: Anonymous]
    #19779273 -

jesus christ now they're letting gays adopt animals???

next thing u know they will be able to adopt a human!!!


:wtfsonic:

JK OP OMG IT HURT BEING THAT MEAN

<3 ILY

i hope your dog stops being a dick fellow human male

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Re: Dont feel a connection with the dog i adopted 4 months ago. Anyone had a similar situation? [Re: Anonymous]
    #19782436 -

Anonymous #4 said:
Rewindicus said:
me and my fiance. (were both guys)



:ugh:


Well, I hope your reaction was directed at the faulthy grammar.. in any case... seriously?

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