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InvisibleSammi
stoner

Registered: 05/18/03
Posts: 356
Loc: Texas
What a dog thinks :)
    #1778393 - 08/04/03 03:53 PM (13 years, 4 months ago)

1. If I like it, it's mine.
2. If it's in my mouth, it's mine.
3. If I can take it from you, it's mine.
4. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine.
5. If it's mine, it must never appear to be yours in any way.
6. If I'm chewing something up, all the pieces are mine.
7. If it just looks like mine, it's mine.
8. If I saw it first, it's mine.
9. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine.
10. If it's broken, it's yours.


DICTIONARY FOR DOGS


LEASH: A strap which attaches to your collar, enabling you to lead your person where you want him/her to go.

DOG BED: any soft, clean surface, such as the white bedspread in the guest room or the newly upholstered couch in the living room.

DROOL: Is what you do when your persons have food and you don't. To do this properly you must sit as close as you can and look sad and let the drool fall to the floor, or better yet, on their laps.

SNIFF: A social custom to use when you greet other dogs. Place your nose as close as you can to the other dog s rear end and inhale deeply, repeat several times until your person makes you stop.

GARBAGE CAN: A container which your neighbors put out once a week to test your ingenuity. You must stand on your hind legs and try to push the lid off with your nose. If you do it right you are rewarded with margarine wrappers to shred, beef bones to consume and moldy crusts of bread.

BICYCLES: Two-wheeled exercise machines, invented for dogs to control body fat. To get maximum aerobic benefit, you must hide behind a bush and dash out, bark loudly and run alongside for a few yards; the person then swerves and falls into the bushes, and you prance away.

DEAFNESS: This is a malady which affects dogs when their person wants them in and they want to stay out. Symptoms include staring blankly at the person, then running in the opposite direction, or lying down.

THUNDER: This is a signal that the world is coming to an end. Humans remain amazingly calm during thunderstorms, so it is necessary to warn them of the danger by trembling uncontrollably, panting, rolling your eyes wildly, and following at their heels.

WASTEBASKET: This is a dog toy filled with paper, envelopes, and old candy wrapper. When you get bored, turn over the basket and strew the papers all over the house until your person comes home

SOFAS: Are to dogs like napkins are to people. After eating it is polite to run up and down the front of the sofa and wipe your whiskers clean.

BATH: This is a process by which the humans drench the floor, walls and themselves. You can help by shaking vigorously and frequently.

LEAN: Every good dog's response to the command "Sit !", especially if your person is dressed for an evening out. Incredibly effective before black-tie events.

BUMP: The best way to get your human's attention when they are drinking a fresh cup of coffee or tea.

GOOSE BUMP: A maneuver to use as a last resort when the Regular Bump doesn't get the attention you require.....especially effective when combined with The Sniff. See above.

LOVE: Is a feeling of intense affection, given freely and without restriction. The best way you can show your love is to wag your tail. If you're lucky, a human will love you in return.



--------------------
Every cause has an effect, but in the end you get what you give.


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OfflineMeph
Synesthesiac

Registered: 09/01/02
Posts: 1,568
Loc: Qu?bec
Last seen: 12 years, 3 months
Re: What a dog thinks :) [Re: Sammi]
    #1778593 - 08/04/03 04:59 PM (13 years, 4 months ago)

I liked that!

My dog Ouija (Weed-jah):



Her five months ago, sleeping with my sister:



--------------------
I'm a bipedal carbon-based pseudo-random number generator.

Demonstration: 152.



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InvisibleRipple
Ripple
Male User Gallery

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 05/16/02
Posts: 21,014
Loc: the timbers of Fennario
Re: What a dog thinks :) [Re: Sammi]
    #1778937 - 08/04/03 06:53 PM (13 years, 4 months ago)

True stuff....what a simple way to live.


--------------------
The bus came by and I got on that's when it all began!



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OfflineFlipmcneil
Commander Cool

Registered: 07/20/03
Posts: 116
Loc: Where the wild things are
Last seen: 11 years, 3 months
Re: What a dog thinks :) [Re: Ripple]
    #1779088 - 08/04/03 07:45 PM (13 years, 4 months ago)

I love my dogs. I wish I could live their life for just one day sometimes.


--------------------

"He who makes a beast of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man"
Dr. Johnson


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InvisibleSammi
stoner

Registered: 05/18/03
Posts: 356
Loc: Texas
Re: What a dog thinks :) [Re: Flipmcneil]
    #1782292 - 08/05/03 05:31 PM (13 years, 4 months ago)

I hear that. I dont have a dog right now. But I have before....they have perfect lives.....there biggest owrry is when they get there food and if theres a squarl in the yard that they can chase :smile:


--------------------
Every cause has an effect, but in the end you get what you give.


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