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Re: Too quiet [Re: usulpsychonaut]
    #19002757 -

usulpsychonaut said:
On an experiential level, I've always been too quiet to get a job or get laid. In other words, I'm very disconnected. The tides of my life may be shifting out of this dismal shadow. I seem to have a job and yes I am just over broke.

eve69 said:
EternalCowabunga said:
I could have posted this in PSP or the health board but I decided to put this here.

For a long time I have been criticized for being too quiet. I'm not really sure what I'm suppose to do with this information.

Why is it anyone's problem that I'm not a loud talkative person? Why is it such a bad thing to be quiet?

Is it a sign of deviance? Spiritual weakness? Am I an evil person?

I feel like trying to be more talkative or loud would be a wasted effort, like trying to change my very nature.

On the other hand I feel like I've made a lot of progress with this. Although I am a pretty quiet guy I'm much more comfortable now holding a conversation. I guess I still have a long way to go though.

Any advice or feedback would be greatly appreciated! :japsmile:



You would think that in today's world with the internet and facile instant communication with people from everywhere in the world, people would grow deeper and broader in their adaptation. But no! The opposite is true, people now assume everyone everywhere is just as shallow as they themselves.  They think if you can't type out a text in a split moment then you're dull or retarded. People have long forgotten that you're a considerate buddy if you actually stop to think before replying.

In silence therefore, in other people, is doubt.  They want an instant mirror of their jabberwokkiness, and they are quick to judge rather that take a moment to still the tide of surfacy silliness to get to something deeper.

My Friend, you are dealing with flakes. They cannot stand the T-gel of your personality.  I suggest you don't try to make yourself different for the satisfaction of the shallow, but rather uphold your integrity and hold fast to what you know is real.  That silence is life itself and is goodness. When that silence goes there will only be jibberjabber left, like the rest of dem chumps.

The mantra of the gigolo: fuck em all and let God sort em out.


:thumbup:

Yeah there are strategies for the quiet to get connected. I need to stay put and slowly build long term contacts of value. My transient past kept me isolated.



You need continuing ed classes at community college. Best place for dating. In your interest field.


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...or something






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Re: Too quiet [Re: EternalCowabunga]
    #19014988 -

It's because:

Quiet people have the loudest minds.

—Stephen Hawking


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Re: Too quiet [Re: EternalCowabunga]
    #19036963 -

EternalCowabunga said:
I could have posted this in PSP or the health board but I decided to put this here.

For a long time I have been criticized for being too quiet. I'm not really sure what I'm suppose to do with this information.


My advice would be to ignore such voices.  There's no right or wrong amount of time an intelligent person needs to be talking.  One who reserves his/her words for the appropriate time and place AND subject, is generally appreciated as a wise person.

Quote:
Why is it anyone's problem that I'm not a loud talkative person? Why is it such a bad thing to be quiet?


In no way is it a bad thing in the context of this thread and this forum.

There are times when one should speak, such as when one observes another in peril, but other than that, not many. 

Does the old adage "Silence is golden" ring any bells?

Quote:
Is it a sign of deviance? Spiritual weakness? Am I an evil person?


No, no, and, having no evidence to judge, I cannot.  sorry, you're on your own here.

Quote:
I feel like trying to be more talkative or loud would be a wasted effort, like trying to change my very nature.


Right on both counts!

Quote:
On the other hand I feel like I've made a lot of progress with this. Although I am a pretty quiet guy I'm much more comfortable now holding a conversation. I guess I still have a long way to go though.


That's excellent, you are obviously on the right path.  Relax and don't pay attention to others who would put you down for one reason or another.  You simply need a bit of self-confidence, and remaining fairly quiet while you gain confidence at your own pace is a good way to grow that confidence.

Quote:
Any advice or feedback would be greatly appreciated! :japsmile:


Nope, I got nuttin' here...:borfase:

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Re: Too quiet [Re: Rool Kat]
    #19059957 -

Just be happy and live life to be a good person. I am a quiet person and it is because I am a observer and not a participant. People have thought I was stupid and whatnot for being quiet but when I open my mouth what I say means much more than what they say. Being quiet is a good thing. While the loud people might be your managers or bosses or whatever, they will be in that same position forever while you think seriously about how to keep climbing the mountain.


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"As I walk on through troubled times my spirit gets so downhearted sometimes so where are the strong and who are the trusted? And where is the harmony? Sweet harmony. Cause each time I feel it slippin' away, just makes me wanna cry. What's so funny 'bout peace love & understanding?" - Nick Lowe

"Psychedelic drugs don't change you - they don't change your character - unless you want to be changed. They enable change; they can't impose it...” - Sasha Shulgin

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Re: Too quiet [Re: EternalCowabunga]
    #19063468 -

EternalCowabunga said:
But why do people not like that I am quiet, why do they judge me for that?



Most people love talking and they mostly talk about themselves. Also it seems like most conversations are just this stupid dance that might be kind of entertaining, but never talks about reality, never gets at whats really happening with us. Its like people want the social interaction, but are too insecure to really be there.

I think when they see someone being quiet their unconscious is like, "Oh shit, I think that guy is actually listening to what I'm saying, oh fuck I think he might actually see me!"


Basically everything about people comes down to insecurity :lol:

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Re: Too quiet [Re: mindgnome]
    #19063843 -

Everyone that I've ever been around or friends with has told me i'm quiet. I find the less you speak the more people tell you. its crazy; most people will spill their entire lives if you give them enough time


I hang out with people every day and they all just know im quiet. if i have something to say ill say it, or if Im asked a direct question i have no trouble answering. I just dont really see a reason for talking unless i have something pertinent to say.

And for people who say i talk too quiet..If you weren't listening well enough to hear me then idc if you hear what i have to say. My friends hear when i talk, so f* you if you weren't listening close enough


the only person in my life that has never been able to deal with me not talking a ton is my dad. but he's always upset because i didnt turn into the club going man-whore that he was in his 20's :rolleyes:

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Re: Too quiet [Re: EternalCowabunga]
    #19071493 -

There are times when we feel we might wish to learn better ways to communicate, ways that wouldn't be typical to your ordinary vocab of them. You might no wish to use certain verbs in your sentences, and might also prevent them from presenting themselves in any form, thus concluding that you might disclose some small source of informing pertaining to the case at hand. Being obliged to ensure that the case has nothing omitted, that nothing could ever be held back without having been sent, that nothing wasn't being sent that didn't have its substitute to replace it permanently, as if they found the new place they were to abandon themselves exclusively without informing others. Not even wishing for others to realize that they had realized information that they weren't invited to the next party they were planning on throwing on account of not wanting foreigners about. They will purposely divide people into different groups in order to place them somewhere they belonged, somuch they belonged that in fact they attached themselves to the concentric circle binding the situation with its dictatorial notions that couldn't be ignored as they were quite crucial and indeed important.  Some points must be referred to despite the protests for it not to be acknowledged, never to pretend to even have wished to have acknowledged it, or sometimes persuading others to try and convince you to give yourself up to someone that knew what was better for you than you did, that despite your resistance your realized he was the savior of all of humanity.


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No More Stories Are Told Today, I'm Sorry They Washed Away // No More Stories, The World Is Grey, I'm Tired, Let's Wash Away.


God 2 read 10932148 Unread messages

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Re: Too quiet [Re: EternalCowabunga]
    #19073542 -

EternalCowabunga said:
But why do people not like that I am quiet, why do they judge me for that?


Because that is how extraverts generally regard introverts, and you are talking about extraverts. We introverts listen to each other because when we have something to say, it usually conveys something meaningful and significant. For all the noise and talkativeness of most extraverts, much of it is shallow and consists of little more than the pleasure of listening to themselves talk. They talk 'at' people, not 'with' people. A bunch of extraverts together seem to out-talk, out-brag, out-lie, and speak more loudly than the others in meaningless competition. Extraverts do better at dating and influencing people in the work-a-day world, but during the second half of life, when the kids move away, they retire, and their social life fades, they can't handle it. Maybe that's why the average life-span of an NFL footballer is 55 years. No more glory, no more cheerleaders, might as well die. Introverts shine in the second half of life. We've worked, saved, invested, and suffered the life in the world, and now we can enjoy the inner life without the annoying intrusion of having to deal with the bullshit of the outer world. I wish I could dose all those extraverted administrators I suffered over the last 27 years, with a big hit of acid. It's mean, I know, but for all their outward bullying, and rah-rah-sis-boo-bah enthusiasm, they're utterly pathetic human beings deep inside who would need to be restrained and hospitalized if they were ever forced to look deeply inside.


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γνῶθι σαὐτόν - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself

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Re: Too quiet [Re: MarkostheGnostic]
    #19074999 -

Yes extraverts tend to always have something to say, sometimes they will say something without meaning having any reason to say it, but they usually don't say it without first acknowledging that they were saying it to the introvert to help him leave his cage. Sometimes you find you must be more prone to disregard the requests by people to become more "socially inclined", which, however, is extremely important in your way of navigating throughout the world. Sometimes we will abandon the notion that we weren't pretending to be into the social extravagances by other people, people that don't really pretend to be socially involved, but nonetheless give the impression that they wished to engage with you.

I understand that you wish to convey that the manifestation of guilt associated with extraverts makes them a trifle inclined to represent a form that transcends the normal restraints of order, some orders will be disarranged from there normal positions, and then you will no longer be viewing it from your position.

I'm more of an introvert myself, I usually don't wish to talk to more than two people at a time. I don't ever talk while I'm around a group of people and leave, usually will flee as soon as the conversation starts. So once it begins I've already abandoned it fully. I also will usually ask them to find a secure place where we can talk freely without others getting involved with it. For some conversations are much more sacred and secret than others. For instance, I know this socialite that has dazzling conversation at all periods of time and he entertains his friends for hours with his juicy anecdotes.

For instance, last week he returned back from London, without coming back with my wife whom I left behind there, I didn't wish her to know that I was planning on leaving her a week before I really did. I also didn't inform her that I was never planning on returning back to London ever again, thus it was the last time I seen her.

I feel that we have allowed some things to take away our freedom of speech, and that despite feeling we have our own voices we really don't. Certainly it seems apparent that when someone has something to say people usually find it to be a threat, when in reality it is just someone that has stored up so much information that it is free to be disposed at a higher rate than usual. Sometimes we can distribute much more information than most people could ever conceive of, and because of this we are sought after so they may extract the information presented at this conjecture. This conjecture which repeated the familiar trait involved with this social engagement.


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No More Stories Are Told Today, I'm Sorry They Washed Away // No More Stories, The World Is Grey, I'm Tired, Let's Wash Away.


God 2 read 10932148 Unread messages

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Re: Too quiet [Re: drkkenny]
    #19075298 -

You seem to have gone way far afield with your response. I did not use the word guilt, btw, and I do not perceive guilt to be part of the extraverted mode of being. As far as seeing introverts as being in a cage, if that is your own perception you have introjected (adopted) the prejudice of a misinformed extraverted attitude. My home is not a cage (neither is my mind!), it is a sanctuary from a hostile world. Selected people are invited to join me in my sanctuary, where we will be surrounded by objects and images that symbolically suggest to the mind to the inner life. These things are not costly, it is not about showing off, it is about looking inward. Windows allow for the mind to perceive outer sensory life, which is as aesthetic as I have the ability to control (trees, flowers, vines, etc.). But the outside also has Tibetan prayer flags, which to the shallow extraverts I have had here, are simply ratty old rags fraying in the breeze. No curiosity as to what the deterioration of pristine colorful flags might mean. Just sensory perception and judgement (ugly). No discussion about impermanence, how we all go from young and beautiful to old and ugly. This kind of mind is intolerably boring and dull to me.

I do not know what to make of your personal disclosure about walking out on your wife. :eek: And as for having something to say, only shallow people who don't want to think, feel threatened by intelligent conversation. Such thoughts are to be shared with people who are receptive to them, will consider them, and reciprocate. Thoughts are not to be "disposed," though I do think and sometimes speak too rapidly. That is an Introverted Thinking characteristic which does not attract people so much as repel them in my experience. But I have never been one to dumb myself down just to socialize, which is another Introverted Thinking trait. It is, unfortunately, uncompromising.


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γνῶθι σαὐτόν - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself

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Re: Too quiet [Re: MarkostheGnostic]
    #19079947 -

MarkostheGnostic said:
We've worked, saved, invested, and suffered the life in the world, and now we can enjoy the inner life without the annoying intrusion of having to deal with the bullshit of the outer world.


...I've always been too quiet to get a job...

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General Interest > Spirituality & Mysticism
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