Patlal said:

Women

You can't live with em, you can't have heterosexual sex without em.

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basqueshaman said:

as for me its hard to feel empathy instead of apathy. i have a crack whore for a mom, had manny weman take advantage of me and out right abuse me just because i wanted to be loved. i try and take others feelings into consideration but its extreamly hard to do when no one seems to take yours into consideration

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So you're perpetuating the cycle, then. Many, many people in my life has also treated me shittily and not considered how I feel about anything. I have realized that says more about them than it can ever say about you unless you let it shape the direction of your life. If you chose to follow in their footsteps and do to others exactly what they have done to you, you're only hurting yourself and incorporating negativity into your own life. If you force yourself to be positive and empathetic, you'll see that it becomes easier and easier to stay in that mindset as you'll end up being happier overall when you realize all that you can control is your own perceptions and actions.

Enjoywho said:

We are NOT Women.

You want us to read into every little thing a woman does, and we just cannot. Nor do we care to. Most men don't even come home directly from work. They have to go and do something else, just to delay inevitably coming home to the basket case, that they married because hormonally they have to.

I feel sorry for you're bf, "Why aren't you reading in to my insanity and being a good partner!!!!"

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You're a real asshole.

It's not about being a woman, it's about caring about other people and their perceptions period. You have such a terrible view on women, you sound like a total closed minded asshole. You're going to get exactly what you're expecting out of every woman you meet with that attitude.

Don't feel sorry for my boyfriend. He's got someone who loves and cares about him, understands and empathizes with all his feelings, takes drugs with him, goes to concerts with him, cooks with him, has sex with him any time he wants, plans on sharing her future riches with him and supports him as much as he supports me. He and I are perfectly happy and I don't need to expect him to read into anything because I'm straightforward with him because I know he loves and cares about me while valuing my feelings so I don't need to place hidden meaning on anything since I can be completely open with him in all aspects of my life. Maybe when you respect other people regardless of their gender like he does you'll know what a relationship like ours is like where you're happy to come home to the love of your life who fills your life with joy. 

basqueshaman said:

deCypher said:

because were men and were always wrong is whats taught to girls by their mothers. most girls think that every one else is to blame and never themselves. look to get consideration you must give it, the same goes with respect.

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That is what you're taught most girls think. That assumption is why most girls act that way to you. I always give consideration and get it back, you're preaching to the choir here.







I'm not defending OP's spouse, I'm trying to help him better understand her point of view so he doesn't end up with a broken relationship so you guys can all get off my ass and stop assuming I act like what your warped view of how every woman should act.

JoieDeVivre said:

Wow, some of you guys are so insensitive. She was upset and reached out to you, the person who is supposed to support her.

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Ballerium said:

JoieDeVivre said:

Wow, some of you guys are so insensitive. She was upset and reached out to you, the person who is supposed to support her.

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Seriously. I just had this conversation with my boyfriend last night and we still can't seem to agree on the matter. I want emotional support, he sees it as him being an emotional crutch and a hindrance to my personal growth if he gives his support. Then I sit and wonder, why the fuck be in a relationship at all if you can't confide in your significant other and have confidence that they'll be there to support you in your time of need?

Sometimes I wonder if being a lesbian IS the way to go. Or being alone. Because it seems like men will never understand.

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Enjoywho said:

Yea I'm not going to read all that.

I hear enough from women to read into the way they think. Making my head hurt.

Shroomery gentleman's club anybody?

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This isn't a man vs woman thing, this is about some people being insensitive assholes who don't care to consider how anyone else other than themselves may be feeling.

Ballerium said:

Seriously. I just had this conversation with my boyfriend last night and we still can't seem to agree on the matter. I want emotional support, he sees it as him being an emotional crutch and a hindrance to my personal growth if he gives his support. Then I sit and wonder, why the fuck be in a relationship at all if you can't confide in your significant other and have confidence that they'll be there to support you in your time of need?

Sometimes I wonder if being a lesbian IS the way to go. Or being alone. Because it seems like men will never understand.

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I don't think it's just a thing with men, I think it's just that some people only care about when they're upset and they don't ever want to help anyone other than themselves emotionally. Luckily, I've found someone who does care how I feel and can help me work through any emotional issues I ever have in a rational and caring way.

Enjoywho said:

Ballerium said:

JoieDeVivre said:

Wow, some of you guys are so insensitive. She was upset and reached out to you, the person who is supposed to support her.

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Seriously. I just had this conversation with my boyfriend last night and we still can't seem to agree on the matter. I want emotional support, he sees it as him being an emotional crutch and a hindrance to my personal growth if he gives his support. Then I sit and wonder, why the fuck be in a relationship at all if you can't confide in your significant other and have confidence that they'll be there to support you in your time of need?

Sometimes I wonder if being a lesbian IS the way to go. Or being alone. Because it seems like men will never understand.

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Yep, sure won't. Keep having that conversation and you won't have a boyfriend.

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JoieDeVivre said:

That's how men and women are socialized. Men can be just as caring and empathetic as women can be if they actually try to care about how someone else might feel rather than just falling into the notion of: man strong, woman weak.

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JoieDeVivre said:

That's how men and women are socialized. Men can be just as caring and empathetic as women can be if they actually try to care about how someone else might feel rather than just falling into the notion of: man strong, woman weak.

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Enjoywho said:

I am recently single, after 2 years. She hit me up last night saying she loved and missed me. I'm sick of the shit though, and the woman's attitude that I am always right. Now I've just been clowning girls and fucking them. Maybe that special connection will show up and we can share feelings, I'm not counting on it.

As the ancient Greeks said. "Men are for loving, women are for reproducing"

My friends are awesome, people I love, every woman I've ever been with has been a problem. And for the reasons you guys state. Trying to convince us being you're emotional tampon is key to a successful relationship.

Op is out getting bread. The girl can shut the fuck up, and let him rest in between shifts. Fuck that.

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Enjoywho said:

Just because you're boyfriend has a vagina doesn't make it true.

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JoieDeVivre said:

That's how men and women are socialized. Men can be just as caring and empathetic as women can be if they actually try to care about how someone else might feel rather than just falling into the notion of: man strong, woman weak.

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Enjoywho said:

Just because you're boyfriend has a vagina doesn't make it true.

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JoieDeVivre said:

Enjoywho said:

I am recently single, after 2 years. She hit me up last night saying she loved and missed me. I'm sick of the shit though, and the woman's attitude that I am always right. Now I've just been clowning girls and fucking them. Maybe that special connection will show up and we can share feelings, I'm not counting on it.

As the ancient Greeks said. "Men are for loving, women are for reproducing"

My friends are awesome, people I love, every woman I've ever been with has been a problem. And for the reasons you guys state. Trying to convince us being you're emotional tampon is key to a successful relationship.

Op is out getting bread. The girl can shut the fuck up, and let him rest in between shifts. Fuck that.

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Not all women think they're always right, that's not inherently female. That's something you have been culturally formed to believe and expect. It has no real basis in reality, even if some of your experiences suggest that. I know I'm not always right and that in reality I don't know much at all, but I'm willing to learn and admit that I'm wrong because I know that's where growth comes from.

You'll never be able to share feelings with someone if you think sharing feelings means being an emotional tampon. It's disgusting how much disdain you seem to have for the simple idea of empathizing with and supporting someone you're supposed to love. What kind of relationship is about a man working to provide money and a woman just sitting around and shutting up while he's "resting" at home?

Enjoywho said:

Just because you're boyfriend has a vagina doesn't make it true.

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You're being a real asshole right now. Don't be surprised if you end up all alone with nothing meaningful in your life because you think that opening up to someone else and really caring about them makes you a vagina.

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haha. That's fine with me. I'll find meaning without having to have another person for it.

Women

I'm still all for the shroomery gentlemen's club sub forum.

Ballerium said:

JoieDeVivre said:

That's how men and women are socialized. Men can be just as caring and empathetic as women can be if they actually try to care about how someone else might feel rather than just falling into the notion of: man strong, woman weak.

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This. And take a father role for example. Yeah a father and a daughter are not going to be in a relationship like that, but what father wouldn't drop everything for his daughter when she's upset or in tears? If he can do it for his child, why the fuck can't he do it for his wife/girlfriend, who he also supposedly loves and cares about?

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Patlal said:

I edited my original post, reread it.

Also, we can try all we want... But the end results will be like trying to see magnetic fields.

We don't have the emotion profoundness required to truly sympathize and feel your pain and tell you exactly the right thing.

If by any chance we do actually say the right thing, deep down inside we're saying to ourselves "awww yeah! I got lucky and nailed it!"

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You're still asserting that men can only fake emotion and women are the real emotional ones. That's nothing more than an arbitrary socialization meant to keep people in their assigned societal roles. There's nothing that different in our brains that inhibits men from really feeling emotion and makes women overemotional. We both experience emotion pretty similarly and the way we express it is determined by the way society dictates it is okay for us to express it. Just because you've been taught to suppress your emotion doesn't mean you are biologically incapable.

I repeat: there is nothing in the male brain that hinders experience of emotion or makes males incapable of empathy. Both men and women have mirror neurons, the part of the brain that is believed to contribute to the feeling of empathy.