SillyMe said:

I could go on and on but I have no need to. It's a business that makes a lot of money finding babies for people who can't have them. Agencies have lobbyist to keep records closed for a reason. They are big business just like any other corporation - except they deal in humans.

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This paragraph just sounds weird to me.  Even if it's true.

Adoption

Dystopia said:

psychological understanding of the self etc

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I often wonder this about my own father and his family but after doing some research and talking with on of my half brothers I decided to drop the issues. From what i remember and everyone says he is not a good person

But I find my self more thankfull for my grandparents they are the people who raised me and despite my many many faults im a decent person well better then the rest of my dads side all things considered.

I might get notified when he dies but who knows I dont give a shit unless he want to leave me money or something better off dead IMO

extreme said:

SillyMe said:

I could go on and on but I have no need to. It's a business that makes a lot of money finding babies for people who can't have them. Agencies have lobbyist to keep records closed for a reason. They are big business just like any other corporation - except they deal in humans.

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This paragraph just sounds weird to me.  Even if it's true.
Adoption

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Maverick said:

I was adopted... If you find out lemme know, because no one knows exactly who my biological father might be.

LUKE!


And as far as finding out who your biological mother is, it's not that difficult.  Yes they CAN release records to you of who gave birth to you, since they are part of Your records.  It's different when trying to find the father.  So prisoner's a bit off there.

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NizzyJones said:

It's a state law thing and depends on how the closed adoption works in your state. Typically they need a court order to unseal the original birth certificate but they're becoming more of a matter of form than they used to be (and it's common to omit the father's name on the b.c. when it's a planned adoption so, yeah, that's harder)

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Maverick said:

And as far as finding out who your biological mother is, it's not that difficult.  Yes they CAN release records to you of who gave birth to you, since they are part of Your records.  It's different when trying to find the father.  So prisoner's a bit off there.

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NizzyJones said:

A lot of the Americans who are "in the system" are older and have developmental issues and nobody wants to put up with them so they get eaten up by the foster care and group home system

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NizzyJones said:

North Carolina has regressive bullshit laws and creeps for judges? You don't say.

/Sorry for your troubles but, yeah, the south still thinks it's 1876.

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age- 3 months

learned about - as soon as i could understand

easy - eh it wasn't hard.  just different.



99.99999999% of people have parents that fuck each other and that creates baby.  my parents seemed like the type of people that never fucked each other

love and sex have always been a little confusing for me.  my mother is like some Goddess and my dad always tells me how proud he is because he could never actually produce a son like me.  honestly i never liked hearing that, although so many people that never heard their parents say that would probably hate me for saying such a thing.

i'm just glad they let me do what i want/do what i'm gonna do now.  they don't try to change me anymore.  biological differences are clearly real.  my parents never understood my anger problems when i was younger.  i deal with anger a lot better now, but when i was younger they'd get almost as mad back at me, but then i'd cry because i'm sensitive too.  after meeting my bio parents i can see traits i have now that they've lived with their whole lives too, minus me for the majority of each other's lives.

i think adoption is better than abortion, well maybe that's situational, but it's a toss up if it's better than keeping the kid.  sure my adoptive parents had more temporary wealth at the time and were "together" like a "family" but nothing in this world could ever help me from feeling strange because of my circumstance


also Dystopia i assume you are wife/wife combo?  when i first learned that gay couples could adopt (few years ago) i thought that would have been really weird.  i still do, but not so much.  but really, it's the sex thing.  like i'm serious my parents acted like they never had sex before and it made things weird as hell for me growing up because i felt like i had nothing to learn from in a sense.  not like i want to see my parents fucking - but like i never saw a certain romantic love they had for EACH OTHER and for the longest time it made my relations with the other sex kind of awkward.  i looked at boobies on the internet once when i was a young teen, shit maybe not even maybe i was 12.  i got grounded for like a month from everything.  i was never grounded otherwise in my whole childhood.  things like that will fuck with a young boys mind more than you know.  sex is not something i should go after, no sir not at all, but here keep playing these video games and getting good grades, we promise it'll make you happy when you're older!  nope now i do tons of drugs, thanks mom and dad

so in regards to your sexuality.  one thing i would recommend to your kid as soon as you think they are sexually mature is explain that it is natural and normal etc.  you still want to trust the person and all IMO, but at least it's normal.  same goes for drugs and all that

it's like, sheltered for 17 years and know only what i learned in school and church.  then when they think i'm ready to keep playing along and go to college and make them proud, i stop going to school and begin doing more drugs and talking to women.  and no it isn't to rebel or anything like that.  i think it's really just normal behavior and they never taught me that

i was always the awkward kid.  like 100% of the time.  many times people would wonder how the most attractive, charming and intellectual one can be so fucking weird

p.s. still through all this i fucking love my parents.  i tripped, umm, pretty hard last weekend on LSD and near the peak i thought of my parents and how much they still TRY, and how much they really do LOVE me, even if it doesn't make a shred of sense.  my heart was pounding and i was reduced to a puddle of tears.  i thought about how these two random unrelated mofos could care this much for me (AND MY SISTER) since the beginning, and still help even take care of me now that they aren't required to.  i battle my sanity everyday, wondering how THEY stay sane


i said this in another thread and i don't know how well it was interpreted but you just don't wanna be too nice.  weird as that sounds.  unless you want them to turn out like me.  but considering you're on a drug forum, you're already many steps ahead of my parents in open mindedness and the like, i would assume.

i don't wanna sound all depressed though - i'm still extremely grateful for my life and everyone in it.  no regrets.  i just wish i would of had a more objective world view growing up so i wasn't just slammed with a whole nother side to the world in one shifting glance.  pretty sure subconsciously there is some trauma of sorts in my brain.  otherwise i wouldn't be this conscious all the time.  but maybe it's not all bad.. again no regrets

Dystopia said:

Hey sorry if this derails the thread here

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I mighta just did    but OP, Dys, anyone can feel free to with about anything related (or not) i certainly don't mind talking about it

Maverick said:

Dystopia, I've known since I can remember, it was never held a secret.  You can tell them as soon as they start to understand language.  It's a LOT easier to just let them know when they're children, rather than surprise them as an adult.  As an adult they'll feel betrayed that you hid it from them most likely.

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chaos05 said:

Age: 1

Broke to me: Worst possible way imo, at age 9, in school a fellow pupil told me I was adopted. When I got home and asked what adoption was my familys faces dropped - lol. Never found out how the pupil knew, but it really messed with me.

Wasnt very easy, but I think it was down to finding out how I did. As a result have got serious trust/rejection issues.

Im sure its different for everyone in this thread, however I strongly believe the more open you are with it all at the earliest possible point, the better the outcome. It should never be treated as a 'secret'. All I could think at the time was how ive been lied to by everyone and I wanted answers. Took many years to come to terms with it all, but have finally come to realise it was for the best.

In turn, I believe when/if I meet the right person I'd love to adopt a child myself. I cant think of anything better, personally. Especially as going through it myself has given me a much greater understanding of the emotions involved.

Any q's feel free to PM me

Chaos05

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