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everyman
The Rza-rector



Registered: 07/01/10
Posts: 386
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Almost did time for a squirrel today
#16645285 - 08/05/12 01:12 AM (11 years, 6 months ago) |
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So this morning I was driving home from my friends house after a nite of partying and I saw a squirrel in the road that was twitchin in the road and it looked hurt. So I got outta my car saw it had a broken leg or something, so I scooped it up and put it in my trunk in a blanket.
At the bottom of my road I saw a cop at a stop sign. Right when I saw him I realized I didn't put my seat belt back on after my squirrel rescue, So the cop pulls me over, asks why I wasn't wearing a seatbelt, and I tell him I was, but then I got out to help the squirrel and then forgot to put it back on.
Probably not beleiving that I actually had a squirrel in my trunk, he asks to see it, and I gladly oblige. Right as I pop the trunk I realize I have an empty tequila bottle and one of those hats with tubes that hold your beers for you in my trunk next to the hurt squirrel. (note: I am under 21) The next thought that comes in my head is that I took my last drink at 3am the night before and I took some nyquil pills to sleep, Im probably still going to blow a .01 or something small which is illegal if you are under 21. The NEXT thing I realize is I have an eighth of shrooms in my flanel pocket right now.
So im when I open my trunk. Right as I open it I throw the towel of the squirrel onto my empty tequila bottle. Whether the cop saw my beer hat or my bottle I'm not sure but I almost did time for that squirrel. Took the squirrel to a place that deals with that sort of thing
Sorry if it was hard to understand, just thought I'd share my story with the shroomery. Just ate those same mushrooms that were in my pocket so now im and I saved a squirrel so 
EDIT: left out the cop let me go, no ticket
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Edited by everyman (08/05/12 01:36 AM)
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Konyap

Registered: 06/30/07
Posts: 33,945
Loc: Planet Piss
Last seen: 4 years, 3 months
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Re: Almost did time for a squirrel today [Re: everyman]
#16645292 - 08/05/12 01:14 AM (11 years, 6 months ago) |
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HOLY FUCK POST/TRIP OF THE DAY LOL
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PLOWTO



Registered: 03/27/11
Posts: 740
Loc: Dodongo's Cavern
Last seen: 9 years, 10 months
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Re: Almost did time for a squirrel today [Re: everyman]
#16645296 - 08/05/12 01:16 AM (11 years, 6 months ago) |
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i enjoyed your use of frogs to tell your story
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Konyap

Registered: 06/30/07
Posts: 33,945
Loc: Planet Piss
Last seen: 4 years, 3 months
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Re: Almost did time for a squirrel today [Re: PLOWTO]
#16645303 - 08/05/12 01:17 AM (11 years, 6 months ago) |
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5 years from now he's goin to look at this thread and be like wow this is when I was actually cool.
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everyman
The Rza-rector



Registered: 07/01/10
Posts: 386
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Re: Almost did time for a squirrel today [Re: Konyap]
#16645324 - 08/05/12 01:27 AM (11 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
aiyobro said: 5 years from now he's goin to look at this thread and be like wow this is when I was actually cool.
Sorry you didn't like my cool story bro.
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xanderofpella

Registered: 12/22/11
Posts: 3,949
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Re: Almost did time for a squirrel today [Re: everyman]
#16645362 - 08/05/12 01:38 AM (11 years, 6 months ago) |
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Don't put rats in your care. Let nature deal with em.
-------------------- [quote]sVs said: Adorable overload is imminent.[/quote] [quote]YSHServant said: You are on my turf when you are in the pub.[/quote] [quote]ButteredToast said: Shroomery 2012- Thread goes from discussing a possibly deceased member to posting nudes of her.[/quote]
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venetianblinds
cabbage


Registered: 05/25/11
Posts: 2,532
Loc:
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Re: Almost did time for a squirrel today [Re: xanderofpella]
#16645363 - 08/05/12 01:38 AM (11 years, 6 months ago) |
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he is nature
-------------------- How do you know but ev’ry Bird that cuts the airy way, Is an immense world of delight, clos’d by your senses five?
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tomnl
Beginner



Registered: 06/16/08
Posts: 1,639
Loc: Under the shroom
Last seen: 3 hours, 20 minutes
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Re: Almost did time for a squirrel today [Re: venetianblinds]
#16645468 - 08/05/12 02:19 AM (11 years, 6 months ago) |
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the squirrel will give you squirrel vibes during your trip. Just dont touch any nuts..
-------------------- Been away so long I hardly knew the place Gee, it's good to be back home Leave it till tomorrow to unpack my case Honey disconnect the phone I'm back in the USSA You don't know how lucky you are, boy Back in the US Back in the US Back in the USSA
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Enjoywho
Rags to Bitches



Registered: 07/06/09
Posts: 20,880
Last seen: 2 years, 6 months
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Re: Almost did time for a squirrel today [Re: venetianblinds]
#16645473 - 08/05/12 02:21 AM (11 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
venetianblinds said: he is nature
-------------------- "I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks "The road to hell is paved with good intentions." "In the days of kings and queens I was a jester." "And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies "Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"
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xanderofpella

Registered: 12/22/11
Posts: 3,949
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Re: Almost did time for a squirrel today [Re: Enjoywho]
#16645478 - 08/05/12 02:23 AM (11 years, 6 months ago) |
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lol?
-------------------- [quote]sVs said: Adorable overload is imminent.[/quote] [quote]YSHServant said: You are on my turf when you are in the pub.[/quote] [quote]ButteredToast said: Shroomery 2012- Thread goes from discussing a possibly deceased member to posting nudes of her.[/quote]
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Tantrika
Miss Ann Thrope




Registered: 03/26/12
Posts: 17,138
Loc: Lashed to the pyre
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Re: Almost did time for a squirrel today [Re: xanderofpella]
#16645483 - 08/05/12 02:24 AM (11 years, 6 months ago) |
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Lesson of the day?
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Enjoywho
Rags to Bitches



Registered: 07/06/09
Posts: 20,880
Last seen: 2 years, 6 months
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Re: Almost did time for a squirrel today [Re: xanderofpella]
#16645489 - 08/05/12 02:26 AM (11 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
BeefheartisBetter said: lol?
-------------------- "I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks "The road to hell is paved with good intentions." "In the days of kings and queens I was a jester." "And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies "Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"
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Soulidarity
With Your Halo Slippin . . .



Registered: 07/15/12
Posts: 17,617
Loc: Atlantis
Last seen: 8 years, 2 months
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Re: Almost did time for a squirrel today [Re: everyman]
#16645528 - 08/05/12 02:47 AM (11 years, 6 months ago) |
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you saved a lil squirrel bro and should be proud.
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  R.I.P. WoodRuss67, Todcasil, TheMerryIguana, The Rompus, Lord Senate. [/url]
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Wimy
weiliiinmyyard


Registered: 08/25/09
Posts: 5,659
Loc: SE USA
Last seen: 3 years, 9 months
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Re: Almost did time for a squirrel today [Re: everyman]
#16645535 - 08/05/12 02:49 AM (11 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
everyman said:
Quote:
aiyobro said: 5 years from now he's goin to look at this thread and be like wow this is when I was actually cool.
Sorry you didn't like my cool story bro.
Dude. Read that again. Also 
I like to look at my posts from the years ago and I often think, whoa, that was when I was actually cool.
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SurReality
PsychAdemic


Registered: 12/21/06
Posts: 11,808
Loc: Colorado, USA
Last seen: 1 year, 7 months
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Re: Almost did time for a squirrel today [Re: Wimy]
#16645558 - 08/05/12 03:04 AM (11 years, 6 months ago) |
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i don't think you almost did time for a squirrel it looks like you almost did time because you got pulled over for not wearing a seat belt and you had drugs on you and empty alcohol in your car... which you wouldn't actually have gone to jail for, but you might have got hauled down to the station if you had alcohol on your breath (it happened to me a month before i turned 21 for blowing a .035, and i didn't get done with the bullshit classes until earlier this year and i'm turning 23 tomorrow)
-------------------- ProDOPEFiend Diary: (my public diary) PodCast
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bloodsheen
ChemChaplin



Registered: 09/24/08
Posts: 7,659
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
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Re: Almost did time for a squirrel today [Re: SurReality]
#16645654 - 08/05/12 04:07 AM (11 years, 6 months ago) |
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Should have That little bastard
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A cautious young fellow named Lodge / Had seat belts installed in his Dodge. / When his date was strapped in / He committed a sin / Without even leaving the garage. That's clever, isn't it?-A boy and his dog
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Soulidarity
With Your Halo Slippin . . .



Registered: 07/15/12
Posts: 17,617
Loc: Atlantis
Last seen: 8 years, 2 months
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Re: Almost did time for a squirrel today [Re: bloodsheen]
#16645657 - 08/05/12 04:08 AM (11 years, 6 months ago) |
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wut
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  R.I.P. WoodRuss67, Todcasil, TheMerryIguana, The Rompus, Lord Senate. [/url]
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Wimy
weiliiinmyyard


Registered: 08/25/09
Posts: 5,659
Loc: SE USA
Last seen: 3 years, 9 months
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Re: Almost did time for a squirrel today [Re: Soulidarity]
#16645659 - 08/05/12 04:09 AM (11 years, 6 months ago) |
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Wat
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