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Re: Sexual self discovery... [Re: Blondell_Letrange] * 1
    #14924762 -

Blondell_Letrange said:
I think lately I have been exploring the idea of pan-sexuality, it seems like such an inclusively ideal expression of sexuality to drop gender exclusive attraction altogether...

I had been identifying strictly as a lesbian for years, but after having sex with a man and actually enjoying it :eek: I find that I have been sexually attracted to all sorts of people that I wasn't before.

My explanation is that once you start breaking down these barriers and becoming less uptight you are more open to new possibilities...

But then again, I am really not expecting too many folk in this forum to understand the sentiment...


yes i'm not sure im seeing how this is "pan sexuality", that would imply that you found attraction in that "man" for a reason independent of his gender. If it was the sex which liberated you from the idea that you cannot be attracted to men, then you aren't simply attracted to his personality, if anything you are hyper-attracted to his gender, hell to go even further you really should have just said " i had sex with a person and realized sex doesn't require gender nor sexual identification" ....meaning you are most likely a young, confused, and fully heterosexual female.

i agree though, when you start to open your mind and deconstruct the traumatic oedipal complex, as well as fully accept your sexual conditioning (to in fact move on from these conditions) the stonecold dialectic of sexuality seems to fade away and give form to a new sexual identity, one that is ready to grow and learn without societal condition.

no one is ever a heterosexual or a homosexual their entire life. from the time we identify our sexuality, to our first sexual encounter  and even until future attempts at love and reincarnation of love, our amorphous sexual identity never solidifies in shape, it remains in flux, always adding new traits and cutting away outdated ones. the mental freedom that you will feel when you no longer assign yourself a gender nor a sexuality rivals that of the designation of self and your freedom from the desire of god


--------------------
You are at once
both
the quiet
and
the confusion
of my heart.
-Franz Kafka

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Re: Sexual self discovery... [Re: AntiEverything]
    #14925459 -

Response to other people:

YES, I use condoms...ALWAYS. Never for oral sex (who the fuck wants to taste latex?) but ALWAYS for anal.

As for the guy who's chick fingered him before making him cum...actually, my best friend who is a girl, has ALWAYS stuck her finger up all her boyfriend's asses right before they cum. She said they ALL have enjoyed it.

In my human sexuality class in junior college, I learned that anal stimulation is NOT a gay thing, it's a human thing. There are LOTS of straight men who are into anal stimulation. Some straight men enjoy taking HUUUUGE butt plugs up their asses. A lot of straight men will meet up with dominatrixes who will do this for them.

I guess the whole reason I'm so comfortable talking about everything is BECAUSE of that class. We had to write 3 papers about trying something new sexually. Going out of your comfort zone. It could be ANYTHING. If you've never had casual sex before, go out, try to meet someone...if you've never been to a gay bar, go to one...the sky was the limit on what you could write about. We had to write about what we learned about ourselves during the whole experience and really get into it. How was it mentally? How did you feel before hand, during, and after? Etc.

I had NO IDEA there was a sexuality forum. I thought I looked through the list of forums pretty well, but apparently not. Perhaps this thread could be moved to that forum?

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Re: Sexual self discovery... [Re: occollegeboi]
    #14925509 -

Quote:
the mental freedom that you will feel when you no longer assign yourself a gender nor a sexuality rivals that of the designation of self and your freedom from the desire of god


oh snap is that true?


--------------------

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Re: Sexual self discovery... [Re: teamkiller] * 1
    #14925516 -

teamkiller said:
Quote:
the mental freedom that you will feel when you no longer assign yourself a gender nor a sexuality rivals that of the designation of self and your freedom from the desire of god


oh snap is that true?


No, it's complete and utter bullshit that should be completely ignored.


--------------------

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Re: Sexual self discovery... [Re: occollegeboi] * 1
    #14925550 -

occollegeboi said:
In the straight world, a man fucks pussy, and a chick gets fucked by dick. Pretty simple.


You are ignorant to the true range of possibilities and complexities of sexuality.

You've made a rash decision without life experience. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being gay. However, this line alone immediately red flags you as another individual who has precipitated his entire character upon homosexuality. I have met and known many people like you, and every time they were poorly balanced individuals whose personal life from a third person's perspective equated to a slow-motion train-wreck.

Sexuality is a diverse central facet that draws us together as a universal group, but to define your personal character on the basis of sexual tastes is unhealthy. There is a fine line between pride and a scarlet letter; if your introduce yourself as homosexual you've branded a stereotype to your chest that carries negative stereotypes just like any other profile.


--------------------

wat man rly

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Re: Sexual self discovery... [Re: blujay]
    #14926785 -

blujay said:
However, this line alone immediately red flags you as another individual who has precipitated his entire character upon homosexuality.

How so?


blujay said:
...to define your personal character on the basis of sexual tastes is unhealthy.

First of all, how are you so sure that's necessarily true? Second of all, what makes you assume that he does that?


--------------------
Well I try my best to be just like I am, but everybody wants you to be just like them. --  Bob Dylan
fireworks_god said:
It's one thing to simply enjoy a style of life that one enjoys, but it's another thing altogether to refer to another person's choice as "wrong" or to rationalize their behavior as being pathological or resulting from some sort of inadequacy or failing so as to create a sense of superiority or separation as yet another projection of a personal fear or control issue.

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Re: Sexual self discovery... [Re: AntiEverything]
    #14926808 -

AntiEverything said:
yes i'm not sure im seeing how this is "pan sexuality
that would imply that you found attraction in that "man" for a reason independent of his gender. If it was the sex which liberated you from the idea that you cannot be attracted to men, then you aren't simply attracted to his personality, if anything you are hyper-attracted to his gender, hell to go even further you really should have just said " i had sex with a person and realized sex doesn't require gender nor sexual identification" ....meaning you are most likely a young, confused, and fully heterosexual female.


No, pan sexuality doesn't have to mean non-physical attraction, it means that I don't feel the need to categorise  people exclusively into gender to decide whether or not I would be willing to have a sexual encounter with them.

Yes I was attracted to the man, just as I am still very attracted to women and lots of other people who happen to identify in varying positions on the gender spectrum. I am perhaps reassessing my identity and sexual orientation and who I will fuck but I am not confused or young. :shrug:

Why must it mean that I am a fully heterosexual female?

Quote:
i agree though, when you start to open your mind and deconstruct the traumatic oedipal complex, as well as fully accept your sexual conditioning (to in fact move on from these conditions) the stonecold dialectic of sexuality seems to fade away and give form to a new sexual identity, one that is ready to grow and learn without societal condition.

no one is ever a heterosexual or a homosexual their entire life. from the time we identify our sexuality, to our first sexual encounter  and even until future attempts at love and reincarnation of love, our amorphous sexual identity never solidifies in shape, it remains in flux, always adding new traits and cutting away outdated ones.


Just curious, have you ever been in the gay community? :tongue:

I not only don't believe that people are necessarily heterosexual OR homosexual, but I also don't believe that people need place themselves as one or the other. Like gender expression is seems to flow within a spectrum.

But then knowing something on a conceptual level is much different than living it. :tongue:

***edit: It's morning and the cogs need oiling.


--------------------
:inlove3::inlove3:

Edited by Blondell_Letrange (08/15/11 06:27 PM)

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Re: Sexual self discovery... [Re: mongo lloyd]
    #14927664 -

mongo lloyd said:
teamkiller said:
Quote:
the mental freedom that you will feel when you no longer assign yourself a gender nor a sexuality rivals that of the designation of self and your freedom from the desire of god


oh snap is that true?


No, it's complete and utter bullshit that should be completely ignored.


u mad?

truth hater.


--------------------
You are at once
both
the quiet
and
the confusion
of my heart.
-Franz Kafka

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Re: Sexual self discovery... [Re: AntiEverything]
    #14929714 -

but I also don't believe that people need place themselves as one or the other.

Why not? What if someone is exclusively heterosexual, but doesn't care if someone is homosexual or something else. Wouldn't that mean he is still pan-sexual, but does not feel any attraction to the same sex or anything else. In that case wouldn't the term heterosexual allow the person to avoid any uncomfortable situations. For example some gay dude hitting on a straight dude. If the heterosexual person was also "pan-sexual" he would probably say something along the lines of "No thanks. I'm straight, but we can still be friends".


But then knowing something on a conceptual level is much different than living it. :tongue:

What specific concepts are we talking about?


--------------------
"It is the peculiar quality of a fool to perceive the faults of others and forget his own." - Marcus Tullius Cicero

"A room without books is like a body without a soul."  - Marcus Tullius Cicero

"Do not bite at the bait of pleasure, till you know there is no hook beneath it." -Thomas Jefferson

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Re: Sexual self discovery... [Re: dustinthewind13] * 1
    #14929735 -

dustinthewind13 said:
but I also don't believe that people need place themselves as one or the other.

Why not? What if someone is exclusively heterosexual, but doesn't care if someone is homosexual or something else. Wouldn't that mean he is still pan-sexual, but does not feel any attraction to the same sex or anything else. In that case wouldn't the term heterosexual allow the person to avoid any uncomfortable situations. For example some gay dude hitting on a straight dude. If the heterosexual person was also "pan-sexual" he would probably say something along the lines of "No thanks. I'm straight, but we can still be friends"

So much 'tardation tonight. :tard:


--------------------
Well I try my best to be just like I am, but everybody wants you to be just like them. --  Bob Dylan
fireworks_god said:
It's one thing to simply enjoy a style of life that one enjoys, but it's another thing altogether to refer to another person's choice as "wrong" or to rationalize their behavior as being pathological or resulting from some sort of inadequacy or failing so as to create a sense of superiority or separation as yet another projection of a personal fear or control issue.

Edited by Poid (08/16/11 06:26 AM)

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Re: Sexual self discovery... [Re: Poid]
    #14929805 -

Poid said:
dustinthewind13 said:
but I also don't believe that people need place themselves as one or the other.

Why not? What if someone is exclusively heterosexual, but doesn't care if someone is homosexual or something else. Wouldn't that mean he is still pan-sexual, but does not feel any attraction to the same sex or anything else. In that case wouldn't the term heterosexual allow the person to avoid any uncomfortable situations. For example some gay dude hitting on a straight dude. If the heterosexual person was also "pan-sexual" he would probably say something along the lines of "No thanks. I'm straight, but we can still be friends"[./quote]So much 'tardation tonight. :tard:


How about explaining why I'm retarded?


--------------------
"It is the peculiar quality of a fool to perceive the faults of others and forget his own." - Marcus Tullius Cicero

"A room without books is like a body without a soul."  - Marcus Tullius Cicero

"Do not bite at the bait of pleasure, till you know there is no hook beneath it." -Thomas Jefferson

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Re: Sexual self discovery... [Re: dustinthewind13]
    #14929820 -

dustinthewind13 said:
How about explaining why I'm retarded?

Alright, I'll entertain your butthutrtedness, but only because I'm pretty drunk.


dustinthewind13 said:
but I also don't believe that people need place themselves as one or the other.

Why not? What if someone is exclusively heterosexual, but doesn't care if someone is homosexual or something else. Wouldn't that mean he is still pan-sexual....

If someone is exclusively heterosexual, then they're not pansexual..this should be extremely easy to understand, and I can't for the life of me get what could be so hard about grasping such a simple concept.


dustinthewind13 said:
...but does not feel any attraction to the same sex or anything else.

"What the hell?" is all I have to say..I have no clue what you're trying to say here, please elaborate.


dustinthewind13 said:
In that case wouldn't the term heterosexual allow the person to avoid any uncomfortable situations.

Why would a term be in the position to allow someone to do something?


dustinthewind13 said:
For example some gay dude hitting on a straight dude. If the heterosexual person was also "pan-sexual" he would probably say something along the lines of "No thanks. I'm straight, but we can still be friends".

A heterosexual person cannot also be pansexual, heterosexuality and pansexuality are distinct sexual orientations.


--------------------
Well I try my best to be just like I am, but everybody wants you to be just like them. --  Bob Dylan
fireworks_god said:
It's one thing to simply enjoy a style of life that one enjoys, but it's another thing altogether to refer to another person's choice as "wrong" or to rationalize their behavior as being pathological or resulting from some sort of inadequacy or failing so as to create a sense of superiority or separation as yet another projection of a personal fear or control issue.

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Re: Sexual self discovery... [Re: Poid]
    #14929885 -

Poid said:
dustinthewind13 said:
How about explaining why I'm retarded?

Alright, I'll entertain your butthutrtedness, but only because I'm pretty drunk.


I wouldn't have been butt hurt if you would have explained yourself previously. I like having my ideas challenged. I see what I did wrong. Lets see if we can reach an agreement?

dustinthewind13 said:
but I also don't believe that people need place themselves as one or the other.

Why not? What if someone is exclusively heterosexual, but doesn't care if someone is homosexual or something else. Wouldn't that mean he is still pan-sexual....

If someone is exclusively heterosexual, then they're not pansexual..this should be extremely easy to understand, and I can't for the life of me get what could be so hard about grasping such a simple concept.

Ok. I get the semantics here. Would using exclusively only sexually attracted to to the opposite sex fix things?


dustinthewind13 said:
...but does not feel any attraction to the same sex or anything else.

"What the hell?" is all I have to say..I have no clue what you're trying to say here, please elaborate.

If you have a pan-sexual way of thinking you are in a group which is open to members of all sexual orientations or gender identities including straight, gay, lesbian, bisexual, transexual, or transvestite (according to the urban dictionary). It doesn't say you have to fuck each of these categories to be one.

Pansexual


dustinthewind13 said:
In that case wouldn't saying you are only sexually attracted to the opposite sex allow you to avoid any uncomfortable situations.

Why would a term be in the position to allow someone to do something?

Ok. Fixed? With the term you can express what your sexual desires are to the other person and avoid confusion.

dustinthewind13 said:
For example some gay dude hitting on a straight dude. If the heterosexual person was also "pan-sexual" he would probably say something along the lines of "No thanks. I'm straight, but we can still be friends".[/quote]A heterosexual person cannot also be pansexual, heterosexuality and pansexuality are distinct sexual orientations.



Ok. That makes sense. You can be heterosexual with a pan-sexual personality according to the definition though. I know I am not sexually attracted to every category a pan-sexual might be, but I don't judge any of them and would still be open to the possibility of being friends.





--------------------
"It is the peculiar quality of a fool to perceive the faults of others and forget his own." - Marcus Tullius Cicero

"A room without books is like a body without a soul."  - Marcus Tullius Cicero

"Do not bite at the bait of pleasure, till you know there is no hook beneath it." -Thomas Jefferson

Edited by dustinthewind13 (08/16/11 07:04 AM)

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Re: Sexual self discovery... [Re: dustinthewind13]
    #14929906 -

or we could go one step further and just stop with the fucking labels 100% and do as we please


--------------------
"Yeah, he's a professor...... OF BEING A DOG!"

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Re: Sexual self discovery... [Re: dustinthewind13]
    #14929922 -

dustinthewind13 said:
Would using exclusively only sexually attracted to to the opposite sex fix things?

I can only give a one-word response to this..What?


dustinthewind13 said:
dustinthewind13 said:
In that case wouldn't saying you are only sexually attracted to the opposite sex allow you to avoid any uncomfortable situations.

Why would a term be in the position to allow someone to do something?

Ok. Fixed?

No, saying you are only sexually attracted to the opposite sex won't allow you to avoid any uncomfortable situation..you are already "allowed" to avoid any uncomfortable situation.


--------------------
Well I try my best to be just like I am, but everybody wants you to be just like them. --  Bob Dylan
fireworks_god said:
It's one thing to simply enjoy a style of life that one enjoys, but it's another thing altogether to refer to another person's choice as "wrong" or to rationalize their behavior as being pathological or resulting from some sort of inadequacy or failing so as to create a sense of superiority or separation as yet another projection of a personal fear or control issue.

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Re: Sexual self discovery... [Re: DrMambo]
    #14929926 -

DrMambo said:
or we could go one step further and just stop with the fucking labels 100% and do as we please


A world without labels would be nice though. Unfortunately I don't see one.


--------------------
"It is the peculiar quality of a fool to perceive the faults of others and forget his own." - Marcus Tullius Cicero

"A room without books is like a body without a soul."  - Marcus Tullius Cicero

"Do not bite at the bait of pleasure, till you know there is no hook beneath it." -Thomas Jefferson

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Re: Sexual self discovery... [Re: dustinthewind13]
    #14929930 -

a world without labels isn't possible, and labels do important things such as distinguish one thang from another thang

but I mean, fuck, who gives a shit?


--------------------
"Yeah, he's a professor...... OF BEING A DOG!"

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Re: Sexual self discovery... [Re: AntiEverything]
    #14929933 -

AntiEverything said:
mongo lloyd said:
teamkiller said:
Quote:
the mental freedom that you will feel when you no longer assign yourself a gender nor a sexuality rivals that of the designation of self and your freedom from the desire of god


oh snap is that true?


No, it's complete and utter bullshit that should be completely ignored.


u mad?

truth hater.


I ain't even mad.

That's just a load of rubbish.


--------------------

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Re: Sexual self discovery... [Re: dustinthewind13]
    #14929940 -

and, to clear it up

pan-sexual means you make no restrictions as to specifics of gender or other regard when viewing someone as a potential partner

as soon as you say, "I'm straight", it kinda puts it out the window, 'cause that means you're looking specifically at women

you could be pan-sexual and only pursue women, but it gets pretty convoluted

all you're trying to say is you don't give a fuck about someone's orientation or gender and shit, so that just means you're a swell feller who isn't prejudiced, but not pan-sexual

:billymaythumbup:


--------------------
"Yeah, he's a professor...... OF BEING A DOG!"

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Re: Sexual self discovery... [Re: Poid]
    #14929959 -

I can only give a one-word response to this..What?

Why do you have to be sexually attracted to every sexual orientation in order to be a pan-sexual person?

No, saying you are only sexually attracted to the opposite sex won't allow you to avoid any uncomfortable situation..you are already "allowed" to avoid any uncomfortable situation.

Ok. Not any situation and without allow, although I still think it would give a person the possibility of avoiding an uncomfortable situation. In my case I was talking about a gay person hitting on a straight person. I would think it would help avoid an uncomfortable situation better than saying "I don't know" when the straight person doesn't find the gay person sexually attractive. The person would know why you are not sexually interested in him, if you tell him you are sexually attracted only to the opposite sex or something else I guess.

I guess my definition of pan-sexual was wrong. I admit I was wrong :tongue:.


--------------------
"It is the peculiar quality of a fool to perceive the faults of others and forget his own." - Marcus Tullius Cicero

"A room without books is like a body without a soul."  - Marcus Tullius Cicero

"Do not bite at the bait of pleasure, till you know there is no hook beneath it." -Thomas Jefferson

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