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OfflineEarth_Droid
Stranger
Registered: 04/19/02
Posts: 5,240
Last seen: 10 years, 9 months
Overcomming Shame
    #1376403 - 03/14/03 04:26 PM (14 years, 2 months ago)

We all face certain struggles and sufferings on the journey of life. Unfortanately some of us have a hard time letting go of what we are ashamed of, and I am going through that right now. I am sad about the way I am, and wish I could start this life over. I wish I could take back a lot of the things I have said and done to others. know that it is selfish to dwell on these thoughts of shameful actions, but I feel as if I don't have enough strength to overcome them. I don't like the reputation that I feel I must have and the thoughts that others have of me. Is there any advice anyone could offer?


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Anonymous #1

Re: Overcomming Shame [Re: Earth_Droid]
    #1376462 - 03/14/03 04:55 PM (14 years, 2 months ago)

As long as you've learned from the experience, you've done all you can. You made your decisions with a completely different mindset than your currently thinking about them. I'm hope your intentions weren't as bad as they were interpreted, we are all good people. Theres no reason to be hard on yourself =)


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InvisibleEffedS
 User Gallery

Registered: 05/15/02
Posts: 7,364
Loc: Daylight Slavings
Re: Overcomming Shame [Re: Earth_Droid]
    #1376887 - 03/14/03 08:36 PM (14 years, 2 months ago)

My advice is to look to your inner self. The self is most important.
I know that sounds selfish.. well it is!  :laugh: And thats OK.

It doesnt matter what others think. Everone is a hypocrite.

Stay positive man.

Take care.


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InvisibleRebelSteve33
Amateur Mycologist
Male

Registered: 05/28/02
Posts: 3,774
Loc: Arizona
Re: Overcomming Shame [Re: Earth_Droid]
    #1380213 - 03/16/03 08:43 AM (14 years, 2 months ago)

I am sad about the way I am, and wish I could start this life over.

I just wanted to say that you can start your life over!  Every morning when you wake up, the Earth is handing you a brand new day for you to do whatever you want with!  So sieze that day, and if something is bothering you about your life right now, do something to change it! 

but I feel as if I don't have enough strength to overcome them.

As humans, we all have the power to do some incredible things, but we often forget we have this power!  A good practice is to sit in a quiet place and visualize a time when you made an accomplishment that you never thought you could make.  Really try to relive that moment in your mind, and it will fill you with a great feeling! 

Sometimes when I take a shower, I turn it into a spiritual cleansing experience as well as a physical one.  I imagine all my sins and wrongdoings and anything I might be ashamed of washing away and going down the drain along with the actual dirt from my body.  When I step out of the shower and dry off, I feel like a new person, starting afresh.

Just remember that when you get out of bed in the morning, you can be anyone you want to be!  And don't doubt what you are capable of doing.  If you think that you cannot overcome an obstacle, the chances are likely that you will not.  If you keep a positive attitude about it, though, that chances are very likely that you will succeed.  It's all in your mind-set! 

Good luck! :smile:

-RebelSteve 


--------------------
Namaste.


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OfflineSolo
enthusiast
Registered: 11/08/98
Posts: 257
Last seen: 12 years, 7 months
Re: Overcomming Shame [Re: RebelSteve33]
    #1390537 - 03/19/03 08:12 AM (14 years, 2 months ago)

Seek out the people you feel you have wronged and offer a sincere apology.

Consider being evaluated for depression.


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OfflineCerebralFlower
whats left?

Registered: 02/09/04
Posts: 1,326
Loc: only the truth is left
Last seen: 7 years, 11 months
Re: Overcomming Shame [Re: Solo]
    #5310947 - 02/17/06 06:20 PM (11 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

I don't like the reputation that I feel I must have and the thoughts that others have of me.




Ive been feeling the same way recently, though i wonder why I care about other peoples perceptions.


--------------------
God says dance with your heart
And shake free of you desire

Where theres a will theres always a way
When you get confused listen to the music play



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OfflineRatherBeAlone13
Stranger

Registered: 11/07/05
Posts: 184
Last seen: 10 years, 7 months
Re: Overcomming Shame [Re: RebelSteve33]
    #5564804 - 04/28/06 12:03 AM (11 years, 30 days ago)

Quote:

RebelSteve33 said:
I am sad about the way I am, and wish I could start this life over.


but I feel as if I don't have enough strength to overcome them.

As humans, we all have the power to do some incredible things, but we often forget we have this power!  A good practice is to sit in a quiet place and visualize a time when you made an accomplishment that you never thought you could make.  Really try to relive that moment in your mind, and it will fill you with a great feeling! 

Sometimes when I take a shower, I turn it into a spiritual cleansing experience as well as a physical one.  I imagine all my sins and wrongdoings and anything I might be ashamed of washing away and going down the drain along with the actual dirt from my body.  When I step out of the shower and dry off, I feel like a new person, starting afresh.

Just remember that when you get out of bed in the morning, you can be anyone you want to be!  And don't doubt what you are capable of doing.  If you think that you cannot overcome an obstacle, the chances are likely that you will not.  If you keep a positive attitude about it, though, that chances are very likely that you will succeed.  It's all in your mind-set! 

Good luck! :smile:

-RebelSteve 



/
.

/

Thanks some wisdom right there!!


--------------------


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Offlinejohnstanton
homoepath
Male
Registered: 04/27/06
Posts: 17
Last seen: 10 years, 10 months
Re: Overcomming Shame [Re: RatherBeAlone13]
    #5565084 - 04/28/06 01:07 AM (11 years, 30 days ago)

there is always a door--why we semingly overlook this? it is our nature to resist..as is our nature to seek --to seek what no reason given can be made...the settling of this contradicion--ends up being the door...i know --words..just words,


--------------------
homoeopathic practitiner..

"seek only the truth ...as an unbiased observor"


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Invisibleeligal
Noobie

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 05/25/05
Posts: 7,021
Loc: California
Re: Overcomming Shame [Re: RebelSteve33]
    #5565947 - 04/28/06 05:39 AM (11 years, 30 days ago)

Quote:

RebelSteve33 said:
I am sad about the way I am, and wish I could start this life over.

I just wanted to say that you can start your life over!  Every morning when you wake up, the Earth is handing you a brand new day for you to do whatever you want with!  So sieze that day, and if something is bothering you about your life right now, do something to change it! 
 




:thumbup:


we all have the power to change. yes it is hard, but the only time we dont actually succeed in changing is when we tell ourselves we cant. to succeed you have to try. and if we know we need to change and dont, thats the biggest mistake you can make. we all will dwell on the past once in a while, but then we must learn from our mistakes and not do them twice.

every old man has hundreds of stories about when he was young and all the crazy shit he did. stupid shit. and he will regret having done them. and thats what its all about. you live and learn, building yourself as you go.


--------------------
\m/ Spanksta \m/

"do you have the freedom to do with your nervous system what you want?"

"MolokoMilkPlus said:
I'll respect you if you let me give you a blow job"

"tactik said:
respect the can."



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OfflineThe_Hobbit
Bilbo Baggins
 User Gallery

Registered: 04/06/04
Posts: 1,382
Loc: The Shire
Last seen: 10 years, 2 months
Re: Overcomming Shame [Re: eligal]
    #5573658 - 04/30/06 12:47 PM (11 years, 27 days ago)

If you're going to judge your thoughts, you should keep in mind that it's all good. I mean that everything that's ever happened to you is good. It's just a matter of how you perceive it. If something bad happened - you now have the knowledge and hopefully the strength to overcome that.

You might be better of just seeing stuff for what it is and making logical considerations with direct correlations to useful considerations.

When you realize that nothing is inherently good or bad because of the fact that everything is relative to how it effects you, you might just find that you're better of simply living in the moment where you have no time to judge a situation or think about how to act - just simply act according to your wishes after that logical consideration, which is really just understanding.


--------------------
Smoking my hobbit leaf...
Please keep in mind that I am just a human being. Please read my posts carefully and interpret their meaning for yourself.


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InvisibleWIZOLZ
Poor with Needs
Male User Gallery

Registered: 03/20/06
Posts: 290
Loc: Monte Carlo
Re: Overcomming Shame [Re: The_Hobbit]
    #5575050 - 04/30/06 09:21 PM (11 years, 27 days ago)

Trying to be as synonymous to what others here have advised, I can agree that shame is a dreadfully disheartning feeling and somtimes very difficult to overcome. It is a process of forgiveness and redevelopment of self, of relationships and other relitive things which effect you as a person. Somtimes, we allow shame and guilt to take control out of our intergrity and personal values, knowing you have done wrong and allowing yourself to be punished for it through shame and guilt. This though, is often a good thing because it allows you to realize the wrong and understand it. It's an indicator of needing change and needing to grow, to find resolution. In our hearts we have an understanding of whats right and wrong, what not to do to ourselves, to others. When we cross these sacred bourders, out nature keeps us working towards evaluating the effects and making sure to learn from what has happened. If it is somthing you cannot change, then you must allow yourself the time to live in shame, but remember, time does heal wounds, so let time play out, just be careful not to make it worse.

If your shame is because it conflicts with your values and sense of harmony with the world, of faith, then worry not, for atleast you can be assured you still have a soul worthy of acceptence and forgiviness. I believe it is neccesary for real growth. Too many people in this world are shameless of their actions, this is why evil still exsists. They have been taught that all things are relitive and so they accept their immorality without feeling or evaluation, allowing it to feed into their pride and egotism. Be carefull of those who show no signs of acknowledging their faults, who will not accept their wrongs or ask for forgivness...They most surely will never mature, most surely will never fully love.


--------------------
---------o----o----o-------o------------------------o--o-o-
----------------------------------------------------------------
Requim for a Dream - Paul Oakenfold
---------------------------------------------------------------
"The mis/abuse of any form of power, is the worst form of ignorance"
-------------------------------------------------------------
WIZOLZ - Lover with a Killer's Smile


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InvisibleFucknuckle
Dog Lover

Registered: 04/24/04
Posts: 6,762
Re: Overcomming Shame [Re: Solo]
    #5575135 - 04/30/06 09:50 PM (11 years, 27 days ago)

Quote:

Solo said:
Seek out the people you feel you have wronged and offer a sincere apology.

Consider being evaluated for depression. 




Yeah there is a great idea :smirk: :crazy: :thumbdown:



Hey first poster............... :sun: Life is not a bar a chocolate it is a bar of shit that looks like chocolate. Sometimes you bite down to hard and get a mouth full of shit. You brush your teeth and move on but.............. guess what ? Your never gonna forget what shit tastes like.


Shame is as important as any other emotion. It is what defines us as who we are. I think shame is no more harmful than a pimple. Without shame we have no responsibilities to better ourselves. Embrace your shame and learn from it.

Without shame we would not have the power to make the right choices.

Guilt may be what your really suffering from and guilt is a lie.


--------------------
What it is, is what it is my Brother.
It is as it is, so suffer thru it.


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