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travelleler
a horse-fart in a hurricane

Registered: 08/30/08
Posts: 3,955
Loc: yonder mountains

Man arrested after ejaculating during TSA pat-down

2
#13572768 - 12/02/10 01:29 PM (15 years, 10 months ago)

http://www.deadseriousnews.com/?p=573

A 47 year old gay man was arrested at San Francisco International Airport after ejaculating while being patted down by a male TSA agent. Percy Cummings, an interior designer from San Francisco, is being held without bail after the alleged incident, charged with sexually assaulting a Federal agent.

According to Cummings’ partner, Sergio Armani, Cummings has “multiple piercings on his manhood” which were detected during a full body scan. As a result, Cummings was pulled aside for a pat-down. Armani stated that the unidentified TSA agent spent “an inordinate amount of time groping” Cummings, who had apparently become sexually aroused. Cummings, who has a history of sexual dysfunction, ejaculated while the TSA agent’s hand was feeling the piercings. The TSA agent, according to several witnesses, promptly called for back up. Cummings was thrown to the ground and handcuffed.

A TSA spokesperson declined to comment on this specific case, but said that anyone ejaculating during a pat-down would be subject to arrest.

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"Whales have deep thoughts"

:sun:

:sun:

Dreams are the fuel of the soul :sun:

:sun:

:peace:

Extras:

propensity
۞̷ ̶۞̷ ̶

Registered: 01/07/10
Posts: 11,056
Loc: Bedrock America
Last seen: 6 years, 3 months

Re: Man arrested after ejaculating during TSA pat-down

[Re: travelleler]
#13572780 - 12/02/10 01:30 PM (15 years, 10 months ago)

I bet if a TSA agent ejaculated during a pat down they wouldn't throw him to the ground and arrest him.

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۞̷̛̗̗͉͇̰̅͒ͯͩ̆ͯ̑͘ ̶̖̭ͧ͛ͬ͑ͣͦ̍ͧ͐͟͢ www.cactophage.com ۞̷̛̗̗͉͇̰̅͒ͯͩ̆ͯ̑͘ ̶̖̭ͧ͛ͬ͑ͣͦ̍ͧ͐͟͢
̸ۨ͜۞̷̛̗̗͉͇̰̅͒ͯͩ̆ͯ̑͘ ̶̖̭ͧ͛ͬ͑ͣͦ̍ͧ͐͟Dolphins of Dank۞̷̛̗̗͉͇̰̅͒ͯͩ̆

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Kada
Asha'man

Registered: 02/15/05
Posts: 12,403
Loc: Buckeye

Last seen: 9 days, 16 hours

Re: Man arrested after ejaculating during TSA pat-down

[Re: travelleler]
#13572781 - 12/02/10 01:30 PM (15 years, 10 months ago)

Not real.

--------------------
~The Cultivators Motherload~
"I am free, no matter what rules surround me. If I find them tolerable, I tolerate them; if I find them too obnoxious, I break them.
I am free because I know that I alone am morally responsible for everything I do." -Robert A. Heinlein
"There is no need for temples, no need for complicated philosophies.
My brain and my heart are my temples; my philosophy is kindness."-Dalai Lama
Live long and prosper.

Extras:

morrowasted
Worldwide Stepper

Registered: 10/30/09
Posts: 32,060
Loc: House of Mirrors
Last seen: 2 days, 18 hours

Re: Man arrested after ejaculating during TSA pat-down

[Re: travelleler]
#13572782 - 12/02/10 01:31 PM (15 years, 10 months ago)

is this website like a much less funny version of the onion?

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propensity
۞̷ ̶۞̷ ̶

Registered: 01/07/10
Posts: 11,056
Loc: Bedrock America
Last seen: 6 years, 3 months

Re: Man arrested after ejaculating during TSA pat-down

[Re: morrowasted]
#13572796 - 12/02/10 01:34 PM (15 years, 10 months ago)

:frown:

I should have clicked the link

Now I feel like a fool

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۞̷̛̗̗͉͇̰̅͒ͯͩ̆ͯ̑͘ ̶̖̭ͧ͛ͬ͑ͣͦ̍ͧ͐͟͢ www.cactophage.com ۞̷̛̗̗͉͇̰̅͒ͯͩ̆ͯ̑͘ ̶̖̭ͧ͛ͬ͑ͣͦ̍ͧ͐͟͢
̸ۨ͜۞̷̛̗̗͉͇̰̅͒ͯͩ̆ͯ̑͘ ̶̖̭ͧ͛ͬ͑ͣͦ̍ͧ͐͟Dolphins of Dank۞̷̛̗̗͉͇̰̅͒ͯͩ̆

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Mush 4 Brains
about tree fiddy

Registered: 12/19/07
Posts: 8,298
Loc: Tacos

Re: Man arrested after ejaculating during TSA pat-down

[Re: morrowasted]
#13572798 - 12/02/10 01:34 PM (15 years, 10 months ago)

cummings

Extras:

Taco Chef
I found dead John Cheever

Registered: 03/04/06
Posts: 33,222
Loc: the city of dis
Last seen: 6 years, 3 months

Re: Man arrested after ejaculating during TSA pat-down

[Re: travelleler]
#13572809 - 12/02/10 01:38 PM (15 years, 10 months ago)

i ejaculated while reading that

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Gumby
Fishnologist

Registered: 06/13/01
Posts: 26,656

Re: Man arrested after ejaculating during TSA pat-down

[Re: travelleler]
#13572818 - 12/02/10 01:41 PM (15 years, 10 months ago)

It's already been established that article is a satirical article. It ain't real.

Extras:

shLong

Registered: 03/05/10
Posts: 25,330
Loc: 'sconsin

Re: Man arrested after ejaculating during TSA pat-down

[Re: Mush 4 Brains]
#13572831 - 12/02/10 01:43 PM (15 years, 10 months ago)

Mush 4 Brains said:

cummings

Extras:

Salomon
ಠ︵ಠ balance ಠ_ಠ weaver ಠ‿ಠ

Registered: 01/17/09
Posts: 25,132
Loc: America, FUCK YEAH

Re: Man arrested after ejaculating during TSA pat-down

[Re: shLong]
#13572917 - 12/02/10 02:00 PM (15 years, 10 months ago)

i want to go through air port security with a banana hammock and a raging viagra enduced hard on.

i'll wear some tear-away pants and tape a metal spoon to my thigh

--------------------
EVERYTHING EVENTUALLY BECOMES A DESERT

Extras:

shLong

Registered: 03/05/10
Posts: 25,330
Loc: 'sconsin

Re: Man arrested after ejaculating during TSA pat-down

[Re: Salomon]
#13572956 - 12/02/10 02:08 PM (15 years, 10 months ago)

Salomon said:

i'll wear some tear-away pants and tape a metal spoon to my thigh

Extras:

Larrythescaryrex
teardrop on the fire

Registered: 07/20/00
Posts: 11,004
Loc: further down the spiral
Last seen: 3 years, 10 months

Re: Man arrested after ejaculating during TSA pat-down

[Re: shLong]
#13572968 - 12/02/10 02:10 PM (15 years, 10 months ago)

lol

--------------------
RIP Acidic_Sloth

Sunset_Mission said:
"larry the scary rex
verily scary when thoroughly vexed
invoke the shadows and dust, cast a hex
mercifully massacring memories masterfully
relocate from Ur to 8th density and become a cosmic bully
mulder and scully couldn't decipher his glyphs
invoke the shadows and dust, smoke infernal spliffs"
April 24th 2011

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Mush 4 Brains
about tree fiddy

Registered: 12/19/07
Posts: 8,298
Loc: Tacos

Re: Man arrested after ejaculating during TSA pat-down

[Re: shLong]
#13572974 - 12/02/10 02:12 PM (15 years, 10 months ago)

arrest my penis

Extras:

Doc_T
Random Dude

Registered: 03/06/09
Posts: 42,395
Loc: Colorado

Re: Man arrested after ejaculating during TSA pat-down

[Re: morrowasted]
#13572986 - 12/02/10 02:14 PM (15 years, 10 months ago)

morrowasted said:

is this website like a much less funny version of the onion?

More or less.

--------------------
You make it all possible. Doesn't it feel good?

Extras:

JesusGoneRogue

Registered: 10/24/10
Posts: 9,495

Re: Man arrested after ejaculating during TSA pat-down

[Re: Doc_T]
#13573188 - 12/02/10 02:59 PM (15 years, 10 months ago)

hmm if this were to be true. then any rape cases where the girl orgasmed should be dropped.

Extras:

Brugman
antisobrietarian

Registered: 05/17/01
Posts: 15,887
Loc: the land up over

Last seen: 13 years, 5 months

Re: Man arrested after ejaculating during TSA pat-down

[Re: travelleler]
#13573194 - 12/02/10 03:02 PM (15 years, 10 months ago)

travelleler said:

Percy Cummings, an interior designer from San Francisco
Cummings’ partner, Sergio Armani

No red lights went off screaming "fake" to you? LOL.

Extras:

travelleler
a horse-fart in a hurricane

Registered: 08/30/08
Posts: 3,955
Loc: yonder mountains

Re: Man arrested after ejaculating during TSA pat-down

[Re: Brugman]
#13573869 - 12/02/10 05:15 PM (15 years, 10 months ago)

thought you deleted it.... ???

--------------------

"Whales have deep thoughts"

:sun:

:sun:

Dreams are the fuel of the soul :sun:

:sun:

:peace:

Extras:

mindtool

Registered: 12/20/09
Posts: 574

Re: Man arrested after ejaculating during TSA pat-down

[Re: travelleler]
#13573918 - 12/02/10 05:27 PM (15 years, 10 months ago)

footage!!! or is it....

Extras:

4runner

Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 15,415
Loc: State of Jefferson

Re: Man arrested after ejaculating during TSA pat-down

[Re: mindtool]
#13574045 - 12/02/10 05:56 PM (15 years, 10 months ago)

:laugh2:

"that's your penis... :blush:

:blush:

alright... Sorry about that. Sorry about that."

Extras:

Prisoner#1
Even Dumber ThanAdvertized!

Registered: 01/22/03
Posts: 193,665
Loc: Pvt. Pubfag NutSuck

Re: Man arrested after ejaculating during TSA pat-down

[Re: mindtool]
#13574162 - 12/02/10 06:14 PM (15 years, 10 months ago)

mindtool said:

footage!!! or is it....

this happened to me once, got stopped in a car with a friends BF, he had
a pound of leaf under the seat and he took the car from the shop where
he worked without permission, cops searched the car twice before finding
the weed, the got me out, started patting me down, cop grabbed my dick
because I go commando, he asked what it was I said it's me, do mage me
empty my pockets, he grabbed my cock again and I said 'stop, that's me
you're yanking on', he made me turn out my pockets and one more time he
tugs on my dick and I'm like "dude, you want me to pull the fucker out
and show you what it is" his partner started laughing and told him to
cut me loose before he catches a charge

it was kind of enjoyable until he pinched and pulled

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California Has Legalized Child Prostitution

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