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coming out agnostic
    #13413686 -

so I'm trying to come out to my friends and family that I'm no longer religious, and I'm thinking of turning it into a story and post it on facebook for all to see, so here it is, tell me what you all think...

This is a story about squiggles... and a mouse.


Once upon a time, there was a mouse who believed in squiggles. Everyday, she worked hard to read about squiggles, to think about them, and to draw them. One day a week was devoted only to squiggly thoughts and worshiping the God of squiggles. Most of the people around her were squigglers too- so they spent much time discussing squiggles, reading squiggles, drawing squiggles and engaging in other squiggly behavior.


One day, the mouse realized, through a great deal of research, that the Book of squiggles was made up and that there was no squiggle God. She felt very betrayed, but also very free. She stopped drawing squiggles and thinking about squiggles. She soon saw that the squiggle God was not any more real then the triangle God or the zig-zag God or any of the thousands of Gods that had been made up, but she didn't know how to tell her squiggler friends about her beliefs. She changed her info page to reflect her beliefs, but her squiggler friends kept sending her drawings of squiggles and telling her about the squiggles and she was afraid that they would be unhappy with her or think less of her if they knew that she was no longer a squiggler, because some of them made negative comments about non-squigglers. She hated arguments and drawing attention to herself, so she didn't tell them how she felt unless they asked. Some of her friends asked her about her beliefs on squiggles and she was always very truthful about her beliefs. Other friends just assumed that she loved to draw squiggles and gave her strange looks when she was uninterested- but choose to continue assuming that she was still a squiggler- just not a very devout or good one. She didn't like them believing the wrong thing about her beliefs, but she was non-confrontational and valued peaceful interactions and didn't want to say things that would upset them or cause some sort of religious argument. She was happy to let them keep being squigglers. She was happy to be a non-squiggler. But it turned out to be more complicated then that. Some people tried to give her advice on squiggling. Others asked her what she believed in, if not in squiggles. Some told her how sad it was to have a life without squiggles. Some invited her to draw squiggles with them and to think squiggly thoughts. Some quoted the book of squiggles at her. Many things happened as her mouse friends saw that she wasn't talking about squiggles anymore and became unhappy about it. She decided, eventually, that it was probably better to just announce to everyone that she was not a squiggler then to keep going through awkward squiggle related social situations, or to allow people to misunderstand her. It seemed silly to have to make a PSA over something as personal as her beliefs, but the squigglers that she knew kept expecting her to act like them so in the end it seemed like the only option to end the squiggle-peer-pressure. It was always available on her info page, but since it seemed like such a big deal to some of the squigglers, she made an announcement. It still seemed like the whole thing was silly to her, but she made the announcement anyway- hoping that the squigglers would accept her beliefs with love and openness and without being judgmental or negative.

Um... so, the end.
is this a good way to come out
Users may choose only one (19 total votes)
yes
-
7 37%
no
-
10 53%
STAL
-
2 11%
Votes accepted from 10/31/10 11:48 AM until the end of time

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Re: coming out agnostic [Re: Inu]
    #13413966 -

I'd just say it as it is, keep it simple and be relatively serious. I mean, if you're serious be serious.


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"The greatest wisdom consists in enjoying the present and making this enjoyment the goal of life, because the present is all that is real and everything else merely imaginary. But you could just as well call this mode of life the greatest folly: for that which in a moment ceases to exist, which vanishes as completely as a dream, cannot be worth any serious effort."  Ah! but I'm sure Mr. Schopenhauer didn't consider that the wise don't mind playing the fool...

My conscience will follow you forever if you meet me everywhere - Mr. Cat Stevens

No one I think is in my tree, I mean it must be high or low- Mr. John Lennon

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Re: coming out agnostic [Re: Strange Brew]
    #13414505 -

Yeah, as tempting as it can be to mock. And that can be percieved as mocking. Keep serious instead.

Coming out agnostic is not an easy thing. You will most likely receive a varied reaction. So be prepared for some people, who are normally nice caring and loving towards you; to ignore and alienate you, to pity you, feel hurt by you, even hate you. Conditional love exists, and you may be treated like a cheater in a relationship after coming out. Just a heads up thats all, you probably do know what to expect, but you may be surprised who does and who doesn't stay supportive.


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All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher. - Ambrose Bierce

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Re: coming out agnostic [Re: flangenips]
    #13416553 -

why would you want to say it? who gives a fuck.

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Re: coming out agnostic [Re: moi]
    #13416641 -

moi said:
why would you want to say it? who gives a fuck.


The original poster's family and friends might give a fuck about his/her non-squiggly behaviour.


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All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher. - Ambrose Bierce

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Re: coming out agnostic [Re: flangenips]
    #13419793 -

flangenips said:
moi said:
why would you want to say it? who gives a fuck.


The original poster's family and friends might give a fuck about his/her non-squiggly behaviour.


heheheh... Reminds me of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. I think it's a great story but you should break it up into paragraphs before you present it. If it's a page like Facebook then I guess you would have to split it up in multiple posts.

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Re: coming out agnostic [Re: Inu]
    #13421491 -

The squiggles story might make them think you are mad, or just having a difficult time expressing yourself.:lol:

It depends on how your folks are.

Maybe try some blatant honesty. "I don't know if there is a God.", which means "I don't 'believe' in God." Cause really, you don't know do you? Belief is a tricky thing. Belief says, I don't know this is true, but I will think it's true anyway! Your mind, being the keen machine that it is says, "belief is bullshit". Belief creates doubt, defacto. It's all 50/50 unless you're sure.

Maybe better not to put labels on what you are. "I don't know" might be good enough. The problem with agnosticism is the postulation that it's impossible to know. The key here is that "I don't know if it's possible to know." Cause you don't do you? Agnosticism doesn't want to let go of the merit, the context, of the belief. Seems like there is something good in the God idea, maybe just not exactly what it seems.

But you've got something to express which goes against the grain of 'their' beliefs. There really is no them, just other confused people pretending they aren't confused.


--------------------
rahz

comfort pleasure power love     truth awareness peace I am      I feel      I do     I love  I speak    I see    I know

why there is reality and patterned, law-like consistency at all, rather than noise or non-reality is not a question physics answers. It's a question physics presupposes an answer to in order to provide other answers.

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Re: coming out agnostic [Re: Rahz]
    #13421513 -

Yeah, I'd just be careful that no one thinks that you are trying to insult them with that story.

I'm not sure why you would need to 'come out' in the first place?
Just curious..


--------------------
This site needs some submissions.  You should probably help out...
NawMean?

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Re: coming out agnostic [Re: ChronicCluster]
    #13422938 -

i do believe that the need to "come out" with this is a personal shortcoming. a flawed character trait. something to work on that might be bigger than opinions about spirituality.

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Re: coming out agnostic [Re: moi]
    #13423775 -

the main reason I want to "come out" is I want to stop all the awkward situations that go along with religiousness. For example, I went on a trip this summer to yellowstone with my wifes sister and her husband, and on sunday they wanted to drive to west yellowstone and go to church, for 3 hours, it also takes 90 minutes to drive there from where we were camping, we would have spent an entire day of our 3 days in yellowstone just going to church. I feel that this would be wasted time, and it took a lot of convincing before they decided not to go to church that day, and it just soured the whole experience.

this is an extreme example of my frustration but it seems to be happening more and more often, so I feel if I were "out" situations like that just wouldn't happen, making life easier.


I agree that the story might be a little condescending, but I don't like confrontation, and explaining my situation like this makes me feel like I'm not attacking their beliefs, I feel that if I were to tell them outright that I don't believe anymore that they would feel like I believe I'm better than them and that I am minimizing their own beliefs, which I don't want to do.

also, all my relatives are Mormon, so they're intensely religious and I'm scared of being ostracized from the entire family if they find out I've "fallen away".

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Re: coming out agnostic [Re: Inu]
    #13423865 -

Why did you just not go to church then?
You coulda let them go, and gone and did your own thing...

I don't really see how 'coming out' will help with things like this.
If you go on a trip with religious people, they will want to go to church...
It's important to them. :shrug:

Are they supposed to not go to church because one out of three people don't want to?
Plan ahead for stuff like that.  Try to plan out what you want to do each day, or even a general Idea.

That way, If they decided to try to go to church, you can vote against it, and tell them no, rather than deal with their last minute plans.
But maybe I'm just missing the point.


--------------------
This site needs some submissions.  You should probably help out...
NawMean?

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Re: coming out agnostic [Re: ChronicCluster]
    #13425901 -

ChronicCluster said:
Why did you just not go to church then?
You coulda let them go, and gone and did your own thing...

I don't really see how 'coming out' will help with things like this.
If you go on a trip with religious people, they will want to go to church...
It's important to them. :shrug:

Are they supposed to not go to church because one out of three people don't want to?
Plan ahead for stuff like that.  Try to plan out what you want to do each day, or even a general Idea.

That way, If they decided to try to go to church, you can vote against it, and tell them no, rather than deal with their last minute plans.
But maybe I'm just missing the point.


I told them that they could go and that my wife and I would be doing our own thing just hiking around and we'd meet them at camp later, but being hardcore mormons they have this "leave no one behind" mentality and they were coming just shy of forcing us to come with them. so for the rest of the day they were trying to make everything awkwardly spiritual to make up for the fact that they had to go without "spiritual nourishment" for a day. not a fun way to spend my vacation.

If I were "out" I think situations like that wouldn't happen. I want to say on a sunday "I'm going to the movies, I'll be back later!" or post on facebook "damn that was a good beer" without feeling that I need to censor myself to satiate the mo-mos that my soul is safe and that we can still be an eternal family because my soul is clean.

but the fact of the matter is that I'm not mormon. and I hate walking on eggshells around anyone I know who is. I want to feel free to be myself without fear of retribution from my friends and family.

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Re: coming out agnostic [Re: Inu]
    #13426834 -

Just change your facebook information. That seems to be the way to announce anything these days.


--------------------
The Prophecy!

Learn To Code

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Re: coming out agnostic [Re: Inu]
    #13426875 -

What do you think will happen if you out yourself?


--------------------
rahz

comfort pleasure power love     truth awareness peace I am      I feel      I do     I love  I speak    I see    I know

why there is reality and patterned, law-like consistency at all, rather than noise or non-reality is not a question physics answers. It's a question physics presupposes an answer to in order to provide other answers.

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Re: coming out agnostic [Re: Rahz]
    #13429117 -

Quote:
I want to feel free to be myself without fear of retribution from my friends and family.


you really think coming out will be helping you? if you feel the need to come out, that itself is being not free. it's a symptom of your unfreedom. i'm so fucking serious right now. i can totally relate to you, but i really do think that you have to find the freedom inside yourself and not by telling other people about your beliefs. but maybe taking this step will help you find freedom. i have no clue :shrug:.. do what feels right.. but does justifying yourself really feel right to you?

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Re: coming out agnostic [Re: blewmeanie]
    #13429288 -

blewmeanie said:
Just change your facebook information. That seems to be the way to announce anything these days.


I did, either people aren't looking or they're in severe denial

anyway I hate pretending I'm something I'm not, that's the whole point.

@Rahz I don't know what would happen that's what freaks me out, I'm trying to break it as softly as possible so they don't think I'm possessed by a demon or something...

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