Anonymous #1 said:
i know what you mean #2. but it isn't this fight that did it, it's that we have the same stupid fights over and over. that and we have no sort of similar interests, and in fact even despise each other's past time actives. for example; she likes going to the club with her friends, and that whole scene makes me sick. my drug use made her sick. and we never really did anything other than talk, eat, fuck. we stopped going on dates even though we've expressed a desire to do some (months ago), and it just never happened. before we would just go out spontaneously or plan shit and it was cool. but it isn't like that anymore. both of us wish it was but it just isn't. i guess the spark is gone even though we share a mutual love for one another.
I question whether it was love or lust honestly. It is so easy to think it is love, but there is a fine line between you both being independent and enjoying different activities to what it appears you had in which you both despise what each other does without the other.
I never ran into a situation yet where fights become repetitive like many seem to have. Usually if it is big enough, it is done and so are we. If it is small, and correctable, it usually is.
If you do really have feelings for her beyond sex and such, perhaps you neurochemistry as well as hers is just in a slump. Overzealous orgasmic sex can seem great at first, but chasing a dopamine roller coaster will leave you with great highs, but some serious lows. It could be before you were just buzzing on your own chemicals enough to ignore it enough. Eventually they wear out and so will both party's patience for the minor issues that once were a non issue.
My experience from friends, is that the magic fades once they have sex. From then on, it just seems like something is wrong and neither can figure it out. They become drug addicts to it, and the thrill isn't what it is after time. Just as a person with high dopamine is more likely to gamble, so is one who needs to bring their dopamine back to where it once was. Cheating is tempting that way, and mother nature wants it to spread genes.
I have no idea what all these fights are, but if it is anything like couples fighting before it usually has less to do about the issue, but more about something unrelated. There are methods to bond and rekindle love, but they take honest effort and do not have the same rush like the dopamine gives with new lovers. I didn't make the methods, but I know they are strong on the mind. Using them to benefit a girl that loved me, but I hated that I was trying to cheer up and prevent suicide in her, ended up putting me in an awkward place. She cheered up and pretty much turned her life around, and moved away with her parents. I went from hating her, to never being closer.
Nothing changed from the point I went from hate to love, except my perception and control of my own urges. If you get right down to it, most anyone can either be seen in rose tinted glasses or on your hit list without them changing one bit. Like many know on this site, perceptions may be changed, but it is still the same in the end.
Only problem is these lingering feelings you no doubt have, may clash with hers. I have no idea of her opinions in this matter, but if you both truly loved each other, you may both be willing to try methods as I described above. Something had to bring you together besides talking, eating and fucking. I am not trying to push you back together if there is nothing there, but I hate to see a victim of subconscious neuro chemistry if it is the case.
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