been on smack for over a year. ive done it here and there over the years, but this last year is when ive had a really easy availablity to it. as a result, im now addicted. i underestimated the barriers of low availability over the years! when i couldnt get it, i didnt even care. i never went looking. seriously folks, thats all it takes, 1 phone number and the natural order of things will soon follow. if any of you are thinking of crossing that line from pills to smack, do your best to stay put. altho an addiction to opiates is an addiction to opiates, it seems way easier to fall off with smack. i got hooked on opiates from pills and then it just made more sense to get into dope as a substitute. i started off sniffing it and then as my tolerance grew, so do my habit. sooner or later, it just became more sensible to shoot it up. it was cheaper and more effective (at the time anyway). at that time though, shooting up was a here and there activity. now its the standard to how i use. the idea of sniffing dope is laughable to me now. a 20 bag could be stretched throughout the day before, now its one shot. and 1 shot is never enough, even if its fire dope.
there's my story. now i struggle with constant withdrawl symptoms and i find myself stealing 20$ from my parents here and there. i hate myself for doing this but i cant stop myself. its almost like im seeing myself doing this on a projector screen or something... i can scream at myself not to but i cant stop it. i know i need help, im just wondering how to get started.
im considering suboxone or methadone. im sure suboxone would be more effective therapuitically, i think methadone might still offer some mild enjoyable opiate like effects. do people have an option between the two or has suboxone taken over the treatment world. ive had some junky friends of mine (that ive lost touch with) that were on suboxone. all of them still used heroin, some of which sold their pills for smack. i only know of 1 person on the meds who got clean, and it took several years for him to decide to finally clean up his act. so i guess im asking, how practical is the suboxone treatment really? i want to quit and feel as though i need some pharmacuitical intervention. whenever i have shitty pills lying around, things like vicoden, darvo's, suboxone (anything thaT activates the opiod receptors without offering any profound true high), i stay off of smack. ive gone as long as a month with substitute therapy ((shitty pill approach) but sooner or later i relapse. it usually has to do with running out of pills.
shit i dunno why im saying all this, i guess im just looking for the real scoop on treatment options. im desperate. i want honest info from junkies like me. what are my chances.... honestly? has anyone really stayed clean after starting on the meds??
i feel so aweful, i need some support 
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