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Inner dialog, sober.
    #10838574 -

This is hard to relate without coming off as a nutter to some. I guess it cannot be avoided, so here we go.

Over a year ago i was in a condition of complete despair on all levels. Earthly, Spiritual, the whole shebam. I lay down in my bed and let it flow through me. At one point my despair was at its very apex and internally I cried out: "GOD; ANSWER MEEEEE!!!"
ya :sad:

Well, right then at that point I got answered. An inner dialog started. Not like hearing a voice, simply thoughts that answered questions I posed it. Needless to say I got pretty damn scared at first fearing my brain had blown a gasket and that I was going stark raving insane.

The 'voice' or rather the 'thought' calmly reassured me that I wasnt going insane and that it in fact was healthy.
Imagine that didnt quite alleviate my fear somehow :yesnod:

I asked it to go away because it scared the crap out of me and it did, telling me it would be back at times where I would not fear it and be more receptive.

Since then it occasionally visits me and offers, for lack of better words, love, support and guidance.

Earlier this afternoon, lying in bed because of cardiovascular trouble, it visited me again. Here are a three things that I received from beyond in response to some of my questions.


On its identity:
Quote:
I am not the concept you have of God.
I am You - and that is greater.
Life is a Dream
And I am the Dream and the Dreamer.




On where to go:
Quote:
You are going nowhere - you are already there.



On life and death:
Quote:
You will not reincarnate.
Something much more beautiful awaits you.
It is not Heaven.
It is not Hell.





It said it would send someone on my path for a great Purpose. I thought back that that was welcome and it informed me it had already done so.

I was asked to take a piece of paper and write on it all that I wished for in life - the really big things. I did so, and while writing I got the message to not be inhibited towards myself and the cosmos, and that the paper was for one time use only.

When I finished it, I got the message to burn it. I held it over the sink and lit it. As it burned I got the message: "all this will not happen if you do not follow my path". It was meant full of compassion, there was no threat in that message. The writing and burning felt that I had captured something from the non-physical world onto paper, and by fire released it to the intangible universe again. Like sending a prayer, or an offering.

Life is a Dream, I am the Dream and the Dreamer.

Wow.

Well guys I hope I see what comes of this but the (final?) message of the day was to write this post, and that there was use to it, so here it is.


--------------------
Omnicyclion.org
personal empowerment for the world

:nyan: LGBT - Love God Before Tradition :nyan:

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Re: Inner dialog, sober. [Re: Asante]
    #10838687 -

Quote:
Wiccan_Seeker said:This is hard to relate without coming off as a nutter to some. I guess it cannot be avoided, so here we go.



You have come to the proper sub-forum :smile: Thank you for sharing your experience.

This internal dialog is what many aim to achieve during meditation and other altered states of consciousness. I can't help but hypothesize that you became receptive to your "higher self", which is your guru and guide which now operates in a higher level of existence (the 5th density according to the Law of One). This idea that "life is a dream" seems to be what all the great mystics and spiritual teachers have been saying for ages. In explaining we are also the "dreamer", we are co-creating this waking reality, and it is a lot less rigid than the average person would believe.

You put a smile on my face for the day :smile:

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Re: Inner dialog, sober. [Re: c0sm0nautt]
    #10838760 -

Quote:
This internal dialog is what many aim to achieve during meditation and other altered states of consciousness.



Have a spiritual/existential crisis and at rock bottom demand to see the manager, it worked for me :wink:

The message "I am you, life is a Dream, I am the Dreamer and the Dream" is a very potent one. Complete One-ness of all, and this being you. I have enough reality check to not jump off a cliff but if the above message is true, a particularly realized Teacher might very well walk on water, or turn it into wine. If the man and the water are One, both the Dreamer and any possible Dream in one, such may very well be possible.

Quote:
In explaining we are also the "dreamer", we are co-creating this waking reality, and it is a lot less rigid than the average person would believe.



There is no co-creating, or co-anything, in One.
I'm sitting here amazed and for the moment, unconcerned.

Quote:
You put a smile on my face for the day :smile:



Then Good has already come of it, thank you.


--------------------
Omnicyclion.org
personal empowerment for the world

:nyan: LGBT - Love God Before Tradition :nyan:

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Re: Inner dialog, sober. [Re: Asante]
    #10838811 -

I have the same thing. I think of it as a spirit guide. It is like having a zen master teaching me.

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Re: Inner dialog, sober. [Re: Asante]
    #10838818 -

I agree with the Oneness :smile: And it is a much easier way to explain it if one is receptive to the idea. But the average person needs it broken down into terms the ego can understand, and that is why I go with co-creator - to show we are all, together (oneness), creating this reality. All is one, Om.

May I ask if you subscribe to any spiritual path? Any meditation regiment? I know from previous posts you have had interesting, to say the least, experiences on psychedelics.

The modern philosopher Ken Wilber says that great leaps of spiritual development ensue after bouts with depression... And your experience shows a stunning example.

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Re: Inner dialog, sober. [Re: c0sm0nautt]
    #10839015 -

Quote:
But the average person needs it broken down into terms the ego can understand



Not just the average person, your every day consciousness needs it too. As an example, I believe in 100% predestination. Everything that Is, is because of the totality of everything. Every little thing that Was, Is or Shall Be is an essential component of every other thing there is. You chuckling at a particularly funny lolcat picture would not have happened if it weren't for any single grain of sand on the moon.

I can't live like that, at least I havent learned how to yet, so for everyday tasks like brewing coffee I suspend this notion of 100% predestination and quasi-adopt the going hypothesis that there are choices and we can make them solely because we want to.

Quote:
May I ask if you subscribe to any spiritual path?



I believe you shouldn't learn from others, you should learn from direct experience. Especially spiritual books are death traps for spiritual growth. People "learning" spiritual concepts without actually "feeling" them, the misled skill we honed in the schooling system. Others may have acquired knowledge that is truly valuable, but unless it becomes REAL to you, reading about it or being told about it does little good most of the time. Many people "get the concept" of something but don't see that the concept is beside the point. Its about getting THE EXPERIENCE, the concept is only a pointer. Its like people who never tripped but studied psychedelics and read trip reports sharing their wisdom. No Sir, its not like you think it is at all. Words and concepts cannot touch your soul psychedelically. Only the specific molecule, in the right quantity, will do that for you. Words and concepts can never substitute for the experience, the real thing, they can only point in its general direction.

I deliberately read a minimum of spiritual texts and instead look inward for my answers. If someone tells me something of potential value, I look inward to connect it.

My path is mine first and foremost. I'm not a Buddhist, or Hindu, or Christian, or Muslim, though at times I seek their texts out I find many things in them that I found within myself.

Oh, and I don't believe in Absolute Truth. I dont believe in anything more than 99%, including internal revelations. Absolute Truth is the realm of zealots and suicide bombers.

As to meditation, typically I lie down naked and comfortable in my bed in a dark room, close my eyes and listen to the thoughts flowing through me.  Not altering them, not actively thinking, just being Observer Only. The stream of thoughts becomes a trickle, your eyes go offline, you go in shutdown without moving into sleep. Once theres been some Nothingness, I know I'm done. I the first thing I notice is usually my eyes coming online, then I drift up and I start making connections as to what I've experienced.

May I ask whats so interesting about my psychedelic experiences? From your viewpoint? I'm always looking for new insights to latch onto, it isnt my ego wallowing in complacency :wink:


--------------------
Omnicyclion.org
personal empowerment for the world

:nyan: LGBT - Love God Before Tradition :nyan:

Edited by Asante (08/11/09 11:45 AM)

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Re: Inner dialog, sober. [Re: Asante]
    #10839724 -

Maybe I'm not getting enough experience... applying what I know to my daily life.

I remember your trip report when you became the starving African child. You were on 2CB I think? I found it interesting that perhaps you did thin the veil between incarnations.

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Re: Inner dialog, sober. [Re: c0sm0nautt]
    #10839820 -

Oh yes, that was 2CE - a magnificent experience that still lingers on and influences my life. As real as past life recollections can be, that one was.

I find that the more years and trips pass, the deeper the psychedelic experience becomes, on smaller and smaller doses, and that this goes for sobriety as well.


--------------------
Omnicyclion.org
personal empowerment for the world

:nyan: LGBT - Love God Before Tradition :nyan:

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Re: Inner dialog, sober. [Re: Asante]
    #10839865 -

I had something like that and I was scared that I would wake up in the wrong world.

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Re: Inner dialog, sober. [Re: Asante]
    #10841833 -

Interesting!

You say it visits you now and then...how do you know when "it" is upon you?

In what way does "it" usually communicate with you? It is full-sensory communication or verbal/thoughts only? Emotions?

Is it's communication more pronounced than your thoughts or do your thoughts drop away at it's arrival?

Does it only respond or does it actively produce communication if you remain quiet?

Thanks for sharing :smile:

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Re: Inner dialog, sober. [Re: Asante]
    #10844028 -

hm
hm

this is going to be all disorganized and confusing ..
oh well..

The first time this happened to me was during a silent darkness 5g mushroom experience.
It has been happening ever since.

People find it so hard to comprehend that you can communicate with god.
now, i dont call it god... because then i would be god...
people dont like to hear that..
cause they dont understand that god isnt just one thing..
oh well..

My last experience of direct communication was much more like a coach talking to me..
pushing me..
posing questions as well as answering them.

like cosmo said.. it could be the higher self..  ( 6th density, btw.. )  :smile:
but THE creative spirit is the highest self out there..   

now... when it comes to sobriety ... i cant really establish that kind of direct communication.
it cant get my mind to shut up.. and that is a necessity.
nevertheless.. god isnt just one thing.
you can get guidance from a rock.
but.. unfortunately we dont spend too much time with rocks..
hit up nature.. it doesnt have the ego to be played , thus it cannot play you.
we dont really do that much either.
we do with other humans though... and this can be a very valuable source.

now.. this is where the tricky part comes into play.

just like god.. which is One everything...
you have a disconnected consciousness that attempts to replace it.
this can be likened to a cancer of sorts..
it disconnects... becomes immortal.. and goes on seducing others into it.
this type of consciousness is very similar to the creative spirit.
its almost like a mimic of it..

so.. your walking down the street.. and your thinking to yourself.. i shouldnt have treated my friend like that..
i kind of exploded... and now i feel bad. I should call him up and say im sorry..
why fuck it up..
we've been friends for a long time.
a teenager comes driving by blasting some rap and you hear lil jon say  YEEEEAAAAHYAA.

anchored !
guided.

on the other hand.. you have the exact same situation.. only this same  kid plays a different rap song and the guy is saying  : Fuck it ! 

jonathan has a good metaphor to explain this and he uses an analogy of football.
you are a receiver.
but sometimes.. it can get intercepted.

negative anchor.
misguided.


this is not to induce some thoughts of paranoia ...
its simply something to observe.

some people call this synchronicity ..
saying : I have been experiencing synchronicity lately..

you always have..
now.. you are just catching it red handed :smile:

be mindful of your thoughts.
if you have connected with the creative spirit... love will command your mind and ego.
if you are not... you will still obliviously come where you are supposed to... but with interference.

this cancer consciousness can play your ego as well.
just like the creative spirit.. it knows.
it is .. simultaneous as well.
it knows your every move.

whether you like it or not.. you are plugged in.

if you werent.. your life would be like the peak of a psychedelic trip - constantly.
thats what it is like to be experience this contact with intelligent infinity.

i just cry..
fuck it..
i cannot help but be overwhelmed by the fact that somebody loves me that much.
and... that it is ultimately me.

you can use that and correlate it to my previous statements.
the cancer.. is but doing just that.
loving itself.
attempting not to become everything... but to absorb everything.
just the cancer we experience as humans... the victory of the cancer inevitably leads to the death of the entire body (the whole )

the only way , we can individually beat this... is spontaneous remission.
no chemo..
no medicine...
none of that.
its simply.. gone.


this whole thing can be compared to the situation we have on our planet.
when will this spontaneous remission happen ?
what is this whole 2012 thing about ?

Dont you guys get it by now ?  :smile:

ever heard of that saying As above so below ?
maybe its not connected to what im saying... but it sure can be used right now.

why do people say : Seek within ?
what will you find ?

are you sustaining the trillions of cells in your body ?
with what ease do you do this ?
what do you think they are going through ?
do you think they are just sitting there ? performing all these complex tasks merely to keep you alive ?

its all the same..
it only jumps up and down in scale.
and every new scale is a new way of experiencing this infinite existence.

everything... will be healed.

lose the ego.
forget in order to remember.
become the child.
shine with purity.
extend your hand.
cry for the evil that you see.
forgive.

before you know it...
we will be there.
neither heaven nor hell.

simply... a whole new world.


:lol:


--------------------



---------------------

All my posts in this forum are strictly fictional.
They are derived from an acute mental illness , from which i am forced to lie compulsively.
I have never induced any kind of mind altering substance in my life  and i have no intentions whatsoever of doing anything illegal.
If I have ever suggested such a thing it would have most likely been , due to my personality disorder and i probably do not remember it at all..

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Re: Inner dialog, sober. [Re: c0sm0nautt]
    #10844106 -

Quote:
Maybe I'm not getting enough experience... applying what I know to my daily life.



unless you plan on meditating all day long... (which i dont recommend )
eat some mushrooms. (which i strongly recommend )
Alone.. in darkness..

ask the mushroom... to guide you towards the contact.
it would rather do that than do its own work..
trust me.
thats basically what it does regardless...

whether you focus on a plant.. or your pet dog.. or your girlfriend if you have one..
it will attempt to connect to you the creative spirit dwelling within the entity of your choosing. (hence the telepathic experiences accompanying a psilocybin intoxication)
if you focus on the mushroom itself.. then.. you are in for a 1 on 1 with it.

So..just ask for the big guy :smile:


just imagine.. how the mushroom is your friend.. and it knows the way.

for every wave of good feeling... even if it is bodily ... express your gratitude in which ever way you know. For some reason.. i think this is very important.
i was simply saying thank you.
while you still have the ability to formulate sentences... communicate that way.

when this is gone..
it will simply catapult you up.
you will feel... like you've met dry land after sailing for all your life.

after that...
well.. ill leave that up to you.

when you 'come back' .. and remember your name..
when you remember how to do the things you do every day instead of just being and experiencing utter bliss constantly...
come here.. and tell us .. if you can..
what the fuck just happened ? :smile: :smile:

and WHY it is you that has to make contact ?


--------------------



---------------------

All my posts in this forum are strictly fictional.
They are derived from an acute mental illness , from which i am forced to lie compulsively.
I have never induced any kind of mind altering substance in my life  and i have no intentions whatsoever of doing anything illegal.
If I have ever suggested such a thing it would have most likely been , due to my personality disorder and i probably do not remember it at all..

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Re: Inner dialog, sober. [Re: fazdazzle]
    #10844119 -

Quote:
You say it visits you now and then...how do you know when "it" is upon you?



Usually the Thought starts talking to me. It tends to be provoked by actions I want to take or decisions I have to make. The trend is benevolent corrective guidance. It "shows the path" so to say, when there are choices. A key phrase with actions I take, and which sounds terribly threatening in English which it really isnt, is "you will pay for this" intended not as a thread, but as an empathic reminder that there will be negative consequences of said action further down the road.

An example will be deeply inhaling a cigarette. It warns against deeply inhaling, and objectively, medically, it makes perfect sense. In the episode that started this thread I asked about quitting smoking. I got the message the time was not ripe, and that I in some time would get the message to quit, when things are right to stay quit.

Some of the things seem counterintuitive. Society and common sense tells you to quit smoking right this instant, The Thought tells me to go ahead, not inhale deeply and wait for the right moment, which will be announced. Apparently smoking now benefits my wellbeing more than quitting does :confused:

Quote:
In what way does "it" usually communicate with you? It is full-sensory communication or verbal/thoughts only? Emotions?



It comes as thoughts and the thoughts evoke emotion. It stands apart from the usual line of thought and is clearly a dialog. You'll know if it happens to you :yesnod:

What its not is a voice, it comes as a thought and I quote: "I'm not the concept you have of God;  I am you" it doesnt pose blatantly delusional suggestions.

It is strong yet it is fragile. I have to keep my mind neutral to it, if I get anxiety about it or the message anxiety takes over and distorts the message to enhance my fear. Then I disconnect, theres no point in that. If I'm "on the path" the Thought makes luminous sense, if I'm off the path, such as gripped by fear, its as subjective as your everyday thoughts can be, coloring it with your fears and expectations. I always feel when I'm driving it with my consciousness or when it comes spontaneously (the subconscious or beyond).

Quote:
Is it's communication more pronounced than your thoughts or do your thoughts drop away at it's arrival?



It stands apart from my thoughts, and therefore it starts out. All that stuff in your head feels like you are doing it. "I'm thinking, my thoughts". The Thought however feels like outside input, therefore it stands out regardless ofd how quiet or hectic my mind is.

Quote:
Does it only respond or does it actively produce communication if you remain quiet?



I can ask it for advice and it answers. At other times it offers advice. It goes away when I ask it to.

It is not only nonproblematic, it actually offers guidance which is of practical beneficial use to me.

So far its the opposite of pathologic: it enhances my functioning, and doesnt diminish it.


--------------------
Omnicyclion.org
personal empowerment for the world

:nyan: LGBT - Love God Before Tradition :nyan:

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Re: Inner dialog, sober. [Re: Asante]
    #10844124 -

I get something similar to that. I would describe it as a thought of complete clarity, much like an epiphany. Its always calming and wise.

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Re: Inner dialog, sober. [Re: jivJaN]
    #10844130 -

Thank you jivJaN!

Yes, it is the same thing that guides you during mushroom trips, if you are lucky enough to receive such guidance.

The subconscius, the universe itself, the mushroom spirit, who is to say? It definitely feels as being the same benign guiding force, kind of like a personal God and ideal father figure and big brother rolled into one. With me it comes as a male.

Quote:
and WHY it is you that has to make contact ?



Aye! When the time is ripe - it will contact you.


Quote:
I get something similar to that. I would describe it as a thought of complete clarity, much like an epiphany. Its always calming and wise.



Yes, that indeed sounds similar!  Can you tell more about it? (if you want?)


--------------------
Omnicyclion.org
personal empowerment for the world

:nyan: LGBT - Love God Before Tradition :nyan:

Edited by Asante (08/12/09 05:59 AM)

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Re: Inner dialog, sober. [Re: Asante]
    #10844257 -

Quote:
Aye! When the time is ripe - it will contact you.



i dont want go as far as to say that i disagree.. but ones intent must be strong , otherwise the free will wont be infringed upon.
unless you want to...you wont know of it.

its hand is constantly saying 'come back' ...

you are the one that must accept it...
when and how.. is entirely your choice.


this was my first contact from a while ago
.. or at least what i have perceived it to be.

http://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/9145170#9145170

i was such a noob :lol:

but ever since...  :crazy2:


--------------------



---------------------

All my posts in this forum are strictly fictional.
They are derived from an acute mental illness , from which i am forced to lie compulsively.
I have never induced any kind of mind altering substance in my life  and i have no intentions whatsoever of doing anything illegal.
If I have ever suggested such a thing it would have most likely been , due to my personality disorder and i probably do not remember it at all..

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Re: Inner dialog, sober. [Re: Asante]
    #10844652 -

Very interesting! you'll have to keep us posted on your progress with this Thought.

I asked technical questions for curiosity's sake and also because of an experience I had a while back while smoking pot, which bears quite a bit of resemblance. If you want or don't mind I will write it up since I'm also interested in comparing to see if we can get a better understanding of this phenomenon.

An interesting similarity I already see is how *good* it felt. There was no malevolence whatsoever. Communication was always accompanied by the feeling that you have when you're laughing really hard, but without the physical action. Purely compassionate, but with the eye of a parent, where I was told like it was, no BS. By the end it felt like a family reunion - like I had was meeting long lost family that I loved dearly.

Dimension X I would like to hear your experience, also, if you don't mind.

I'm so excited for you Wiccan_Seeker!! This brings me back and if we're on the same page then I know how fantastic you must feel right now! :smile:

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Re: Inner dialog, sober. [Re: jivJaN]
    #10844961 -

Haha that's funny because my intuition told me 6th, but I did a quick Google search and got 5th somehow :mad: hehe

Well I decided to delve into an experience today. Other then low level trips on Mushrooms and LSA, I guess my pychedelic experience is lacking. I have been meditating regularly for the past year now, with a few peak experiences.

I smoked some Salvia I had bought a few weeks back. I didn't have an ego for a bit, nor many visuals? I felt like I was communing with a spirit (or spirits). I wrote a report here. Any input appreciated.

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Re: Inner dialog, sober. [Re: Asante]
    #10845786 -

There's pretty much a constant dialogue going on in most of our heads I believe. This one recovery workbook that I had used being mindful of this, paying attention to it all & giving control to the most positive "voice" as a method to overcome drug & alcohol problems, as well as any other issues that one might have within.


--------------------

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Shop: North Spore Injection Grain Bag   Sporeworks.EU Spores for European Microscopy   Mushroom-Hut Mono Tub Substrate   Myyco.com Golden Teacher Liquid Culture For Sale   Unfolding Nature Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order


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