Krishna said: i don't really see medical marijuana as a good solution for anxiety or depression.
i understand for many people the idea is to get marijuana as legal and available as possible, but personally i think working like that has the potential to have serious repercussions (as instead of winning over people who are against pot but might be for it for medical purposes, you risk alienating them)
used responsibly it's a great solution... although i understand your concerns and do have worrys about how other people might handle it.
i'm bipolar. without marijuana i'd either be in jail, a mental institution or completely zombified on a huge list of pharms.. This is FACT, it's been tried and i'm just a completely different person.
I was diagnosed with bi polar when i was 18, now 26 yrs old. I spent the first 3 years after my diagnosis in and out of hospitals and institutions, on a plethora of different prescribed medications to 'help' me. I never saw my family during this time, because while they were supportive of me and wanted me to get treatment, it broke their hearts to see me as a zombie on so many medications and they couldn't face me in that condition. From the age of 22-24 i discovered how marijuana helped my bipolar when used regularly. I noticed how it didn't matter what end of bipolar I was on it could still help, I also noticed that different marijuana had different effects.
Before my bipolar was diagnosed, i couldn't hold a job. Either, because i wouldn't care enough(depression), couldn't focus enough(mania) or just sucked because i kept going through so many states of unaltered consciousness that i couldn't get it right. After my diagnosis i tried working a few more times, but basically failed miserably because i was a zombie on antidepressants and anti psychotics. I soon started receiving federal aid for my disability. I was receiving SSD (social security disability) and SSI (supplemental security income). Well having a debilitating medical condition that prevented me from having a job i found myself with a lot of time to spend my disabiliity money and a warped mind to decide what was good idea and a bad idea. i made some bad choices that i'm not proud of, but i cannot deny them. After a couple more hospital visits and arrests i decided i needed to find a way to be a normal member of society so i wouldn't have so much time to fuck everything up and blow my money on stupid stuff making it so i couldn't afford to eat.
It was at this time my research into using marijuana as medicine began. I began to understand the difference between indica and sativa and how indica's were really nice for calming me down in a manic state. It didn't matter whether i was just hyper or whether i was furious raging over something. I often found myself punching holes in walls or pacing around frantically, like a lost dog. Other times my anxiety would spiral out of control and i'd become so paranoid of absolutely nothing, except for the creations in my head and I'd start rambling nonsense. However, there was something about a couple hits of a fine indica and i was back to a level perspective and could slow myself down, take a few breaths, relax and realize i'd lost control. I could also find it within myself to make conscious effort to learn from my mistakes and make better choices should the scenario arise again. Medications to help my manic states and high end of the bipolar spectrum didn't help like this at all, they prevented me from entering enraged or manic states by basically making me unconscious and immobilizing me.
I also began to recognize the power of a sativa and it's cognitive effect. I found myself motivated with new zest for life after smoking sativas, i always wanted to go out for a walk in nature or something after smoking. I started using sativa's when i got depressed and every time, before the joint or bowl was done i was joking with someone with a silly smirk on my face, wanting to do something and slowly forgetting about the pit of despair from whence i'd just came. I found with sativas an uncanny ability to keep myself out of my usual cycles of running myself into the ground with depressing thoughts. I also discovered the beauty in everything around me thanks to my long wooded walks in nature with sativas. the beauty in everything helps keep me going these days and it's only because of marijuana that i ever saw it.
Now at 26 years old, I've stopped receiving SSI as an aid because i find my newly balanced self able to hold down a job and make sense of everything. I'm nearly a fully fledged normal taxpaying member of society now. My family doctor admits it's nearly impossible to notice my symptoms when i've been smoking marijuana, even though they're against it for other reasons (as many doctors are unfortunately). They also admit they see no need to change my treatment (marijuana, meditation, excercise and healthy diet, no pharms involved).
I've since gotten copies of my medical history and took a trip to a group who is giving recommendations from licensed MDs and has a team of lawyers planning to petition for a list of mental disorders. I now am halfway legit... soon enough bipolar along with depression and anxiety will make it to the list for better or worse. there's too many people pushing for it, for it not to happen.
While i do stand by the fact that it works for me, it won't work for everyone. As is the case with every medication. Unfortunately because it's pretty easy to get diagnosed depressed, i fear many people will abuse the system and tighter laws will be made...
for me nothing really changes, except i'm legally going to be helping a few patients with SERIOUS conditions that are unable to grow for themselves. My usage won't change and i don't plan on breaking caregiver rules, so i won't be smoking theirs. I will continue getting from compassionate people who can provide me with what i need as i always do until i can grow for myself legally.
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♫ ♪ In the garden of many fields, there is no me or you. There is no right or wrong. There is no up or down. There is no black or white. Everyone is the plow man. Everyone is the seed. Everyone harvests and everyone yields. In the garden of many fields, everyone is one with one love and one love is one with everyone. ♪ ♫
lyrics from: Transglobal Underground - Eyeway Souljah (from Psychic Karaoke)
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