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mis-matching sex drives. . .
    #8641742 -

I've been with my boyfriend for a year and a half now and I feel like my sex life  has been thrown away with last months trash! At first we had sex like everyday and sometimes a few times, but now its like I practically have to beg. When he actually wants to do it I dont but I do it anyways because I dont know when the next time will be if not now! He made some comment the other day that was like no penis until you do this... so me being the horny little fucker I am went and did it and was like ok... He's like um yeah its not like I get anything extra for doing that and I told him I'd give him a little something extra (if you know what I mean) and he was like I can get that from you anytime. We've been going out for a year and a half and that right there made me feel like a whore! Is there something wrong with wanting sex alot? I mean I'm in my 20's its not super abnormal to have that sex drive at my age! It makes me feel like when he wants to do it I should just be like no I dont feel like it but then I wouldn't get any and I'd be like every other prude in this world! Its not even like I can suck it up and just go play with myself because he's always here! He wont want to have sex with me but if I even joke about going to play with my toy he gets pissed and says he's going to hide all the aa's in the house! Im nearly at my wits end! I love this guy and our relationship isn't all about sex at all but it makes me feel like he doesnt care about what I want at all! I need some advice that doesnt involve cheating or breaking up with him...

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Re: mis-matching sex drives. . . [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #8641768 -

In my experience, when somebody in a relationship no longer wants sex it is usually because they are getting it somewhere else.

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Re: mis-matching sex drives. . . [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #8641796 -

It sounds to me like he's on a power trip.  If he doesn't want to have sex with you, why would he object to your pleasuring yourself?  His snarky comments regarding your sex drive are not cool, either.  Perhaps he feels defensive about not being "the man" in your sexual relationship?

If you do not want to end this relationship, I would recommend taking your power back. Your sexuality belongs to you, not to your boyfriend.  If you want to pleasure yourself, do it!  If he objects, tell him to FUCK OFF.  Stop seeking sex from him, and let him come to you.  Object to his snarky comments, but phrase it as "I don't like it" not "You better stop that." 

Remove yourself from the dependent position by taking responsibility for your sex life.  If he is not interested in participating in that sex life, so be it.  Only you can decide whether you are OK with the conditions of your relationship.

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Re: mis-matching sex drives. . . [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #8641866 -

Anonymous said:
In my experience, when somebody in a relationship no longer wants sex it is usually because they are getting it somewhere else.


I know that can be the case but right now we both dont have jobs so he's here all the time and so am I. Its not like he has time to sneak out on me.

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Re: mis-matching sex drives. . . [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #8642231 -

walk around naked all the time?

get a job and cheat on him?

start making fun of him, calling him limp-dick and no-nuts and shit.

in another thread, somebody said they're married and haven't had sex in 3 years. get a divorce and be on the prowl?

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Re: mis-matching sex drives. . . [Re: Anonymous #4]
    #8642725 -

your boyfriend and my ex girlfriend should hook up. it sounds like they would be sexually compatible.

then i could bang you.

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Re: mis-matching sex drives. . . [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #8642911 -

Anonymous said:
I know that can be the case but right now we both dont have jobs so he's here all the time and so am I. 


That might be your problem.  No offense but I would be sick of you no matter who you are.

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Re: mis-matching sex drives. . . [Re: Anonymous #6]
    #8643205 -

That might be your problem.  No offense but I would be sick of you no matter who you are.
That might be your problem.  No offense but I would be sick of you no matter who you are.
That might be your problem.  No offense but I would be sick of you no matter who you are.
That might be your problem.  No offense but I would be sick of you no matter who you are.

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Re: mis-matching sex drives. . . [Re: Anonymous #7]
    #8643532 -

thanks so pretty much Im a piece of shit and he cant stand to be around me let alone fuck me... nice!

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Re: mis-matching sex drives. . . [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #8643718 -

No, quite the opposite. He's domineering and is obviously on a power trip over you. Talk to him openly and if you don't like his responses, find someone who actually cares for you.

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Re: mis-matching sex drives. . . [Re: Anonymous #3]
    #8643846 -

Anonymous said:
It sounds to me like he's on a power trip.  If he doesn't want to have sex with you, why would he object to your pleasuring yourself?  His snarky comments regarding your sex drive are not cool, either.  Perhaps he feels defensive about not being "the man" in your sexual relationship?

If you do not want to end this relationship, I would recommend taking your power back. Your sexuality belongs to you, not to your boyfriend.  If you want to pleasure yourself, do it!  If he objects, tell him to FUCK OFF.  Stop seeking sex from him, and let him come to you.  Object to his snarky comments, but phrase it as "I don't like it" not "You better stop that." 

Remove yourself from the dependent position by taking responsibility for your sex life.  If he is not interested in participating in that sex life, so be it.  Only you can decide whether you are OK with the conditions of your relationship.


I think this poster's advice is correct. If he is withholding sex from you and only doing it when he feels like it or after you do something for him then he's being a real asshole. He is totally out of line not letting you do your own thing, so I say do it when you want, and tell him to fuck off if he bitches about it.

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Re: mis-matching sex drives. . . [Re: Anonymous #9]
    #8644785 -

I agree. Don't stay in an abusive relationship.

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Re: mis-matching sex drives. . . [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #8646180 -

Anonymous said:
thanks so pretty much Im a piece of shit and he cant stand to be around me let alone fuck me... nice!


That's not what I meant.  Two people occupying the same space nearly 24-7 are going to drive each other nuts.  People need alone time.  I don't know how either of you are still sane.  Personally, I need to be away from my S.O. regularly so I can build up some desire.  It's hard to summon the desire to fuck the hell out of a woman no matter who she is if she's been within ten feet of you for sixteen hours straight.

I can't believe you aren't sick of him already, and the fact that you're not makes me think you may have some kind of unhealthy attachment.  I'm not trying to judge, just throwing out possibilities.

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Re: mis-matching sex drives. . . [Re: Anonymous #6]
    #8646598 -

most of the responses in this thread are fuckwits.

guys get bored of the same girl all the time, no matter who she is. 

you have to go further to explore what turns him on.  learn to be both subtle and brazen at the proper times.

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