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I Think Something Is Wrong With My Brain
    #8171402 -

For as long as I remember, I've been unable to converse with people normally.

When it comes to me needing to say something in a conversation...my mind is completely blank every time.  So I just end laughing at what the other person said, or if it wasn't something funny I'll come up with some simple, non-insightful reply.

There are instances when this isn't the case.  When I am with close friends I seem to be able to converse more fluidly.  And sometimes one on one with a good friend I can talk for a while.  But those times are rare.

I'm pretty sure I have interesting stuff to say...it's just not available to me when I am talking to people!  I feel like it's severely hindering my progress in life...as it prevents me from meeting new people and developing connections with people I already know.

:frown:

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Re: I Think Something Is Wrong With My Brain [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #8171507 -

Lay off the pot and start practicing more. You may be awkward as fuck for awhile but the flow will come.

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Re: I Think Something Is Wrong With My Brain [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #8172004 -

Try asking people questions. Ask them about their day, their interests, their aspirations, etc. From there, you can try to make connections between what they're saying and your own experiences, and offer input, advice, share your own thoughts, etc.

I don't know man, I'm not very good at the whole chit-chat thing myself, except around people I know well and am comfortable with. I work at a restaurant where it's all small talk and quick convo's with people you don't know well, so I have sort of the same problem - though, it doesn't bother me :grin:

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Re: I Think Something Is Wrong With My Brain [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #8172240 -

Anonymous said:
Lay off the pot and start practicing more.


Yeah you really have to practice having conversations with people. Just emulate others who seem to be good at it, see where it goes.

Pot definitely makes it harder.

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Re: I Think Something Is Wrong With My Brain [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #8173207 -

Stop thinking theres something wrong.

I used to be like that then I decided to change. After a while it becomes as natural to talk fluently as it was to not talk or laugh like.

Often when I pop jokes no-one gets them. Its awkward but I brush it off.

Every now and again you'll have everyone laughing their ass off and that makes it worth it!

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Re: I Think Something Is Wrong With My Brain [Re: Anonymous #5]
    #8173659 -

One of two things.

A:
Stop smoking herb, it makes your conversation skills suck. True story.

B:
Stop spending so much time on the computer. In real life there is no backspace, undo, etc...And you are not given as much time as you'd like to analyze what people say, and come up with a witty response.


But seriously....everyone has social anxiety these days... All of the kids are being put on medicine because they are sick. They are not really sick, its a cruel joke. If you want to be able to interact with people, then try interacting with people.

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Re: I Think Something Is Wrong With My Brain [Re: Anonymous #6]
    #8173716 -

Anonymous said:
A:
Stop smoking herb, it makes your conversation skills suck. True story.

B:
Stop spending so much time on the computer. In real life there is no backspace, undo, etc...And you are not given as much time as you'd like to analyze what people say, and come up with a witty response.


QFT.

If you want your social skills to stop sucking, you need to go out and DO something about it. The more pot you smoke, and the more time you waste online, the more socially inept you are going to be.

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Re: I Think Something Is Wrong With My Brain [Re: Anonymous #7]
    #8173890 -

Its called social anxiety.

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Re: I Think Something Is Wrong With My Brain [Re: Anonymous #8]
    #8174827 -

XANAX

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Re: I Think Something Is Wrong With My Brain [Re: Anonymous #9]
    #8174945 -

i get the same problem as the OP. i have been thinking it is social anxiety, but have not bothered to do anything about it, even though my job involves general chit chat with clients all day.

i really do think my life would be so much better if i didn't have this problem.

it is weird because i actually hide it pretty well. so i am still able to make new friends, but i still just don't know what to say a lot of the time and feel awquard as fuck.

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Re: I Think Something Is Wrong With My Brain [Re: Anonymous #10]
    #8175268 -

Newsflash: talking to people is something you have to learn, like anything else in life. If you tell yourself there's something wrong with you because you don't automatically know how to do something learned, you're just an idiot making excuses for the fact that you're too lazy to learn how to make small conversation.

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Re: I Think Something Is Wrong With My Brain [Re: Anonymous #11]
    #8176297 -

Anonymous said:
Newsflash: talking to people is something you have to learn, like anything else in life. If you tell yourself there's something wrong with you because you don't automatically know how to do something learned, you're just an idiot making excuses for the fact that you're too lazy to learn how to make small conversation.


Yeah this is the bottom line. Social interaction is a SKILL, not an instinct. OP, be careful not to convince yourself you are socially handicapped, because then you'll expect to do badly always and it will get worse.

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Re: I Think Something Is Wrong With My Brain [Re: Anonymous #4]
    #8176357 -

See I was under the intention that social interaction was something that was instinctual.

I guess spending my teen life on the Internet kinda screwed with my learning social interaction as much as my peers.  Looks like I'll have to get practicing.

Thanks a ton guys :heart:

-Op

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Re: I Think Something Is Wrong With My Brain [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #8178294 -

:heart:

I don't think it's instinctual, at least not entirely. I never actually thought about it, but yeah, spending most of my teen life on the intarwubz kind of fucked up my social interaction skills too.

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Re: I Think Something Is Wrong With My Brain [Re: Anonymous #7]
    #8178450 -

Internet is awesome for learning. Even better for wasting time. But for me doesn't anything for social skills. U just have to go out and interact with people. It teaches you real life experiences, then eventually it will be as natural as smoking weed for you( I assume everyone on here smokes weed). Weed is not naturally known, it is something you learn, just like so many other human things.

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Re: I Think Something Is Wrong With My Brain [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #8178762 -

OP, I think "not knowing what to say" locks your brain up. I think you do know what to say (you do with close friends) but that you have a conditioned response to mentally slam shut in situations that might be awkward.

It can be social anxiety and pot may play a role, I agree.

I'm Mr Profound. I just can't smalltalk about trivial shit, I tend to move towards "deep, profound" stuff pretty fast.

The other day I was at the bus stop and an elderly lady struck up a chat. Within minutes "nice weather today" had progressed into discussion of fear of death and fear of living, the importance of being committed to life and true to yourself and all this other good shit. The lady let her bus go by, as did I, and we spent almost an hour discussing that which mattered most. She was blown away and very grateful, insisting that "she really needed this" and what a wonderful guy I am :smirk:

Its what I do. I want talking to be meaningful and I have both a sense of what people need and a need to help people.

Smalltalking? I can't do that just like you OP, there has to be Meaning or I'm at a loss.

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Re: I Think Something Is Wrong With My Brain [Re: Anonymous #13]
    #8179142 -

Social interaction is definately a learned skill. Probably the best skill to have aswell.

There is a reason people with their noses in books their whole childhood studying to make a name for themselves in the future always get good jobs.

And then the people who talk shit all day long and dont know how to do anything other than manipulate people with words, well they become their boss.

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Re: I Think Something Is Wrong With My Brain [Re: Anonymous #6]
    #8179540 -

i used to be witty and funny

5 years of daily pot smoking later, i am now slow and dull

stopped smoking about a year ago, i don't believe i'll be going back to my former ways

it doesn't bother me, social skills are highly overrated. i find video game skills to be far more rewarding

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Re: I Think Something Is Wrong With My Brain [Re: Anonymous #14]
    #8179543 -

^^true story

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Re: I Think Something Is Wrong With My Brain [Re: Anonymous #14]
    #8180395 -

I guess it can be easier for some and harder for others, but I think most people go through a stage of tongue-tiedness. It's just a matter of getting through it.

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