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Anonymous #1
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frivolous whining from an anonymous douchebag
#7405187 - 09/13/07 05:11 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
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I had an epiphany today - I realized that I've been blowing practically every spare dime I have on 'legal highs' (kratom / salvia / HBWR / etc) because I've basically been medicating myself to avoid my own inner psychosis, and I can't really rely on the doctors to do it for me anymore considering my insurance got canceled
but it's quickly getting to the point where I can't help but realize that all these soirees of mine are just a 'quick fix' - a temporary distraction from my own internal struggles - and that they're really not doing anything for me, considering that the problems are all still there once the 'high' wears off
so I beat myself up and call myself a little bitch for thinking that I need pharmaceuticals to be 'normal' / and then I turn into a whiney ass little emo in defense, and I insist to myself that I'm too much of a pussy to live life on my own / and then I draw back away from myself, and feel sorry for myself for creating these different 'personalities' so that I can effectively argue with myself over issues that I'm conflicted about (while, ironically enough, doing exactly that - creating yet another inner personality just to point out the fact that I'm allowing myself to personify my own inner thoughts the way I sometimes do)
and then - I undoubtedly go back to legal highs, so that I can distract myself from my own inner dialogue once again
it's pathetic really
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Anonymous #2
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Re: frivolous whining from an anonymous douchebag [Re: Anonymous #1]
#7405394 - 09/13/07 05:53 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
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You're normal, so you don't have to fret about being substandard.
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Anonymous #2
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Re: frivolous whining from an anonymous douchebag [Re: Anonymous #2]
#7405422 - 09/13/07 06:01 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
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So you don't want to be normal. Well that's wonderful. Go into seclusion for six months eating nothing but berries or what you can find and you will no longer be normal, you will be abnormal, a sensation, a wonder for all to behold. Do eeeeeeet!
No don't do it. We don't need supermen to make us feel all the more inadequate. You're doing fine.
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Anonymous #3
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Re: frivolous whining from an anonymous douchebag [Re: Anonymous #1]
#7406165 - 09/13/07 08:28 PM (16 years, 4 months ago) |
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dude, you need to realize that everyone has their own battles they fight. Your fighting yours. Don't compare yourself or think of what other people would do in your place. This is not them. Your doing the best you can with the situation your in. Taking medicine isn't 'weak' or 'pathetic'. If it increases the quality of life then take your meds. These legal highs will do nothing but make the problem worse.
Start eating right, working out, reading up on your condition. These are the things that will help you get out of your hole. Everyone has them from time to time. Your in one now, its time to start climbing out.
Good luck.
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