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The Wisdom of Children (I laughed much)
    #6723543 -

The Wisdom of Children
by Simon Rich March 26, 2007

I. A Conversation at the Grownup Table, as Imagined at the Kids' Table

MOM: Pass the wine, please. I want to become crazy.
DAD: O.K.
GRANDMOTHER: Did you see the politics? It made me angry.
DAD: Me, too. When it was over, I had sex.
UNCLE: I'm having sex right now.
DAD: We all are.
MOM: Let's talk about which kid I like the best.
DAD: (laughing) You know, but you won't tell.
MOM: If they ask me again, I might tell.
FRIEND FROM WORK: Hey, guess what! My voice is pretty loud!
DAD: (laughing) There are actual monsters in the world, but when my kids ask I pretend like there aren't.
MOM: I'm angry! I'm angry all of a sudden!
DAD: I'm angry, too! We're angry at each other!
MOM: Now everything is fine.
DAD: We just saw the PG-13 movie. It was so good.
MOM: There was a big sex.
FRIEND FROM WORK: I am the loudest! I am the loudest!
(Everybody laughs.)
MOM: I had a lot of wine, and now I'm crazy!
GRANDFATHER: Hey, do you guys know what God looks like?
ALL: Yes.
GRANDFATHER: Don't tell the kids.


--------------------
Acid doesn't give you truths; it builds machines that push the envelope of perception. Whatever revelations came to me then have dissolved like skywriting. All I really know is that those few years saddled me with a faith in the redemptive potential of the imagination which, however flat, stale and unprofitable the world seems to me now, I cannot for the life of me shake.

-Erik Davis

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Re: The Wisdom of Children (I laughed much) [Re: OneMoreRobot3021]
    #6723558 -

OneMoreRobot3021 said:
MOM: I'm angry! I'm angry all of a sudden!
DAD: I'm angry, too! We're angry at each other!
MOM: Now everything is fine.




:rofl2: :rotfl:

That was awesome, thanks!


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Welcome evermore to gods and men is the self-helping man.  For him all doors are flung wide: him all tongues greet, all honors crown, all eyes follow with desire.  Our love goes out to him and embraces him, because he did not need it.

~ R.W. Emerson, "Self-Reliance"

:heartpump:

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Re: The Wisdom of Children (I laughed much) [Re: WhiskeyClone]
    #6723559 -

My sister sent it to me - it was in this week's New Yorker.


--------------------
Acid doesn't give you truths; it builds machines that push the envelope of perception. Whatever revelations came to me then have dissolved like skywriting. All I really know is that those few years saddled me with a faith in the redemptive potential of the imagination which, however flat, stale and unprofitable the world seems to me now, I cannot for the life of me shake.

-Erik Davis

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Re: The Wisdom of Children (I laughed much) [Re: OneMoreRobot3021]
    #6723567 -

Quote:
GRANDMOTHER: Did you see the politics? It made me angry.
DAD: Me, too. When it was over, I had sex.
UNCLE: I'm having sex right now.
DAD: We all are.


:rofl:


--------------------
Welcome evermore to gods and men is the self-helping man.  For him all doors are flung wide: him all tongues greet, all honors crown, all eyes follow with desire.  Our love goes out to him and embraces him, because he did not need it.

~ R.W. Emerson, "Self-Reliance"

:heartpump:

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Re: The Wisdom of Children (I laughed much) [Re: WhiskeyClone]
    #6723575 -

That was awesome.  :heart:


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Re: The Wisdom of Children (I laughed much) [Re: OneMoreRobot3021]
    #6723576 -

OneMoreRobot3021 said:
My sister sent it to me - it was in this week's New Yorker.


I saw that too.

I have a subscription to the New Yorker. After Smithsonian, its probably my favorite magazine...And I dont even live w/in 500 miles of new york...


--------------------
After one comes, through contact with it's administrators, no longer to cherish greatly the law as a remedy in abuses, then the bottle becomes a sovereign means of direct action.  If you cannot throw it at least you can always drink out of it.  - Ernest Hemingway

If it is life that you feel you are missing I can tell you where to find it.  In the law courts, in business, in government.  There is nothing occurring in the streets. Nothing but a dumbshow composed of the helpless and the impotent.    -Cormac MacCarthy

He who learns must suffer. And even in our sleep pain that cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart, and in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom to us by the awful grace of God.  - Aeschylus

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Re: The Wisdom of Children (I laughed much) [Re: OneMoreRobot3021]
    #6723709 -

I can't really relate to any of that from my childhood, so I guess it's not as funny to me


--------------------
channel your inner Larry David

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Re: The Wisdom of Children (I laughed much) [Re: demiu5]
    #6723730 -

haha i loved it - big family gatherings always made me ponder discussion at the grown up table... now that i sit there - damn its boring.

sent to all my immediate family, nice.

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Re: The Wisdom of Children (I laughed much) [Re: OneMoreRobot3021]
    #6723826 -

hahaha

I just sent this out to my family too, thanks OMR. I always had to sit at the kids table.


--------------------

funky ass music: Planet of Dinosaurs // Rich Whiskey

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Re: The Wisdom of Children (I laughed much) [Re: lukeboots]
    #6724256 -

I keep coming back to read this over, it's gotta be one of the funniest things I've seen in a while.


--------------------

funky ass music: Planet of Dinosaurs // Rich Whiskey

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Re: The Wisdom of Children (I laughed much) [Re: OneMoreRobot3021]
    #6724498 -

OneMoreRobot3021 said:
FRIEND FROM WORK: Hey, guess what! My voice is pretty loud!
FRIEND FROM WORK: I am the loudest! I am the loudest!
(Everybody laughs.)




There's a slew of adults in my house that are always thrashing around and talking too loud. :frown:


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