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 Dark_Star
train driver pervading a desktop
 
Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 31,859
Loc: Uranus
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 Man Masturbates on Merchandise from Wal-Mart 
#6673981 - 03/15/07 06:29 PM (17 years, 1 month ago) |
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Yup, this dude grabbed some panties, a bra, a tee-shirt and a magazine, brought them into a dressing room, beat off and busted a nut all over those items & the mirror.
A rent-a-cop ("loss prevention officer" as they call it.  ) saw him walk out of the dressing room without the items and went in, thinking he stole the shit, and found "a thick substance that she thought was semen" all over the stuff & the mirror.
It turns out this guy was a regular, and when he came back later in the week they called the cops and he got picked up.
I don't know........I'm as anti-Walmart as the next guy, but shit, this is just fucked up.
This was out of a local newspaper, so no link....sorry folks.  But yeah, I read that, and had to share it.
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 Liquid_Dimension
Lighthousekeeper
Registered: 02/15/04
Posts: 4,414
Loc: Radioactive state
Last seen: 17 days, 19 hours
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 Re: Man Masturbates on Merchandise from Wal-Mart [Re: Dark_Star]
#6673994 - 03/15/07 06:32 PM (17 years, 1 month ago) |
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Yeah,walmart merchandise turns me on too.
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DepthToTheCore
JeeBuzz
Registered: 05/05/04
Posts: 3,649
Loc: Australia brah 
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Re: Man Masturbates on Merchandise from Wal-Mart [Re: Liquid_Dimension]
#6674030 - 03/15/07 06:40 PM (17 years, 1 month ago) |
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Some people....why not just stay home and whack off, i mean, you have the comfort of your home, porn etc etc?
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 "Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music." - George Carlin
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mystery
you huff scat?
Registered: 12/16/06
Posts: 1,882
Loc: niggasneed2stopsnitching
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Re: Man Masturbates on Merchandise from Wal-Mart [Re: DepthToTheCore]
#6674031 - 03/15/07 06:40 PM (17 years, 1 month ago) |
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minisharkx
Minisharkx
Registered: 06/22/06
Posts: 43
Loc: Florida
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Re: Man Masturbates on Merchandise from Wal-Mart [Re: Liquid_Dimension]
#6674044 - 03/15/07 06:42 PM (17 years, 1 month ago) |
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XD yes lets all go to walmart and masturbate on brand new panties then leave then leave them in the stall its what all the cool people are doing nowadays
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RipVanWinkle
The Benzodiazethang
Registered: 06/11/06
Posts: 4,700
Loc: Near Memphrica, TN 
Last seen: 2 years, 5 months
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Re: Man Masturbates on Merchandise from Wal-Mart [Re: minisharkx]
#6674056 - 03/15/07 06:46 PM (17 years, 1 month ago) |
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I prefer taking shoes off the shelf and crankin one out in the shoes...
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Those who danced were thought to be quite insane by those who could not hear the music.
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C20H25N3O
Calico Kahlia
Registered: 02/01/04
Posts: 1,390
Last seen: 18 hours, 36 minutes
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Re: Man Masturbates on Merchandise from Wal-Mart [Re: RipVanWinkle]
#6674075 - 03/15/07 06:53 PM (17 years, 1 month ago) |
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oh it was in the mcall. Bah, I was just going through the town and country like crazy and couldn't find it.
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Calico Kahlia come tell me the news
Calamity's waiting for a way to get to her
Rosy red and electric blue
I bought you a paddle for your paper canoe
Say you'll come back when you can
Whenever your airplane happens to land
Maybe I'll be back here too
It all depends on what's with you
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Psilocybeingzz
Registered: 12/15/02
Posts: 14,463
Loc: International waters
Last seen: 11 years, 5 months
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Re: Man Masturbates on Merchandise from Wal-Mart [Re: Dark_Star]
#6674080 - 03/15/07 06:56 PM (17 years, 1 month ago) |
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Dude.... if people keep talking about this it's just going to embarrass me more. Please! people just let it go. Lets all move on please.
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Dark_Star
train driver pervading a desktop
Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 31,859
Loc: Uranus
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Re: Man Masturbates on Merchandise from Wal-Mart [Re: C20H25N3O]
#6674082 - 03/15/07 06:57 PM (17 years, 1 month ago) |
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Ha yeah, wrong walmart. Can you believe this shit?
mystery, good looking out on that link...I'm too lazy for such searching. 
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skydog
Coffee & Blunts
Registered: 08/03/05
Posts: 2,486
Last seen: 12 years, 1 month
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Re: Man Masturbates on Merchandise from Wal-Mart [Re: RipVanWinkle]
#6674089 - 03/15/07 07:00 PM (17 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
zzzRipVanWinkle said:
I prefer taking shoes off the shelf and crankin one out in the shoes...
I blow mine in the lobster tank.
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Drewwyann
Slayer of ticks
Registered: 10/30/06
Posts: 4,077
Loc: Atlantis
Last seen: 10 years, 6 months
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Re: Man Masturbates on Merchandise from Wal-Mart [Re: skydog]
#6674096 - 03/15/07 07:05 PM (17 years, 1 month ago) |
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what i love is going to the TV section of walmart and jerking off on the plasmas. nothing gives me more satifaction or turns me on more than the bold crisp statement of "im so much better than sony, i cum on sony," in the morning.
my question is, why on the mirror? was he trying to see what he would look like with splooge on himself, but didnt want to deal with the mess?
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Anyone need a glass pipe? : http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002435158931
Love powerfully  
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RipVanWinkle
The Benzodiazethang
Registered: 06/11/06
Posts: 4,700
Loc: Near Memphrica, TN
Last seen: 2 years, 5 months
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Re: Man Masturbates on Merchandise from Wal-Mart [Re: Drewwyann]
#6674100 - 03/15/07 07:07 PM (17 years, 1 month ago) |
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He probably had the bra on, and the panties around his ankles and was jerkin it while watching himself in the mirror... Just a theory.... ....
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Those who danced were thought to be quite insane by those who could not hear the music.
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kindadank
Stranger
Registered: 07/14/03
Posts: 702
Last seen: 14 years, 2 months
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Re: Man Masturbates on Merchandise from Wal-Mart [Re: Dark_Star]
#6674102 - 03/15/07 07:07 PM (17 years, 1 month ago) |
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Haha...that shit's hilarious.
My friend was a "loss prevention officer" at a department store in Florida. He said they had this guy that would regularly do the same thing, although it wasn't always with women's clothing. He said he would come in the store, go in the bathroom and "warm up", grab an article of clothing, then go in the dressing room and cum all over the clothes. He would then go put them back on the shelves.
He said everyone at his work (in LP) knew about the guy, and they called him the bi-county creamer, because he would go all over the area to different stores and do the same thing.
He was easy to spot, but they would never arrest him because he didn't steal anything. Another thing he said was that they would just leave the clothes there that were "soiled". Fucking disgusting...
He also mentioned that people would shit in the dressing rooms regularly...like once a week.
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Dark_Star
train driver pervading a desktop
Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 31,859
Loc: Uranus
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Re: Man Masturbates on Merchandise from Wal-Mart [Re: kindadank]
#6674107 - 03/15/07 07:10 PM (17 years, 1 month ago) |
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Geez.......
The human race is weird, to say the least.
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Muppet 
Nomadic Jester
Registered: 08/14/02
Posts: 28,785
Loc: (523) 327-2836
Last seen: 13 years, 2 months
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Re: Man Masturbates on Merchandise from Wal-Mart [Re: Dark_Star]
#6674113 - 03/15/07 07:13 PM (17 years, 1 month ago) |
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yeah...no shit
I'm beginning to realize I ain't nearlty as 'odd' as I useta think I was 
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Ravings of a Madman
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skydog
Coffee & Blunts
Registered: 08/03/05
Posts: 2,486
Last seen: 12 years, 1 month
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Re: Man Masturbates on Merchandise from Wal-Mart [Re: kindadank]
#6674116 - 03/15/07 07:13 PM (17 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
kindadank said:
He also mentioned that people would shit in the dressing rooms regularly...like once a week.
They should mark the restrooms more clearly I guess
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GreenScreen
bidibodi bidibu
Registered: 07/02/06
Posts: 914
Loc: ation
Last seen: 5 years, 3 months
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Re: Man Masturbates on Merchandise from Wal-Mart [Re: skydog]
#6674451 - 03/15/07 08:37 PM (17 years, 1 month ago) |
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Damn, that's one of the funniest things I've seen in a while. Thank you for posting this
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