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How To Shower
    #5408072 -

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN

Take off clothes and place them sectioned in the laundry basket
according to lights and darks.

Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband
/boyfriend along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do
more sit-ups/leg-lifts etc. Get in the shower.

Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and
pumice stone.

Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added
vitamins.

Wash your hair again to make sure it is clean.

Condition your hair with conditioner enhanced with GRAPEFRUIT and mint.

Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until
red.

Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.

Rinse conditioner off hair.

Shave armpits and legs.

Turn off shower.

Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.

Spray mould spots with tile cleaner.

Get out of shower.

Dry with towel the size of a small country.

Wrap hair in a super absorbent towel.

Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and the hand towel on head.

If you see your husband /boyfriend along the way, cover up any exposed
areas.


HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave in a
pile on the floor.

Walk naked to the bathroom.

If you see your girlfriend/ wife along the way, shake willy at her
making the "woo-woo" sound.

Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your willy
and scratch your bum.

Get in the shower.

Wash your face.
Wash your armpits.

Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse it off.

Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.

Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.

Wash your bum, leaving those coarse bum hairs stuck on the soap.

Wash your hair.

Make a Shampoo Mohawk.

Pee.

Rinse off and get out of shower.

Partially dry off.

Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of bath
the whole time.

Admire willy size in mirror again.

Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.

If you pass girlfriend/ wife, pull off towel, shake willy at her and
make the "woo-woo" sound again.

Throw wet towel on bed.




--------------------
Coffee should be black as hell, strong as death, and sweet as love.

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Re: How To Shower [Re: SkorpivoMusterion]
    #5408114 -

haha. I'm more like the woman's version in regards to tidyness, and no woo woo!

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Re: How To Shower [Re: SkorpivoMusterion]
    #5408118 -

:lol: I'm really glad I finally decided to read this post. The Man part cracked me up.


--------------------
Acid doesn't give you truths; it builds machines that push the envelope of perception. Whatever revelations came to me then have dissolved like skywriting. All I really know is that those few years saddled me with a faith in the redemptive potential of the imagination which, however flat, stale and unprofitable the world seems to me now, I cannot for the life of me shake.

-Erik Davis

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Re: How To Shower [Re: SkorpivoMusterion]
    #5408129 -

SkorpivoMusterion said:
If you see your girlfriend/ wife along the way, shake willy at her
making the "woo-woo" sound.


:rofl:


--------------------
"I have sworn upon the altar of God eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man."

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Re: How To Shower [Re: SkorpivoMusterion]
    #5408139 -

lol... I'm glad I don't live with a guy anymore, this is one of the reasons.


--------------------

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Re: How To Shower [Re: kit_kat]
    #5408160 -

Haha, it's almost true. I don't play in the shower. I get my clean and get out.

Hi kit_kat, haven't seen you post in awhile. :smile:


--------------------
My first mushroom trip
My first Mescaline trip

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Re: How To Shower [Re: Pirate_Patrick]
    #5408204 -

Hahaha...

that's brilliant - rotflmao!

soooo scarily accurate

*mwah*

Peyote_Princess xXx:mushroom2:


--------------------
"Was I talking? ... Did they hear me?"

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Re: How To Shower [Re: SkorpivoMusterion]
    #5408213 -

There is much truth in that fersure!

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Re: How To Shower [Re: SkorpivoMusterion]
    #5408300 -

Make a shampoo mohawk. 


Hahahaha, I do that everytime. :blush: :grin:


--------------------
Every mistake, intentional or otherwise, in the above post, is the fault of the reader.

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Re: How To Shower [Re: SkorpivoMusterion]
    #5408349 -

some funny shit man :tongue2:

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Re: How To Shower *DELETED* [Re: SkorpivoMusterion]
    #5408485 -

Post deleted by poke smot!

Reason for deletion: x


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Re: How To Shower [Re: poke smot!]
    #5408490 -

Me too! /high five


--------------------
Acid doesn't give you truths; it builds machines that push the envelope of perception. Whatever revelations came to me then have dissolved like skywriting. All I really know is that those few years saddled me with a faith in the redemptive potential of the imagination which, however flat, stale and unprofitable the world seems to me now, I cannot for the life of me shake.

-Erik Davis

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