|
SkorpivoMusterion
Livin in theTwilight Zone...


Registered: 01/30/03
Posts: 9,954
Loc: You can't spell fungus wi...
|
How To Shower
#5408072 - 03/16/06 12:20 PM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN
Take off clothes and place them sectioned in the laundry basket according to lights and darks.
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband /boyfriend along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts etc. Get in the shower.
Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
Wash your hair again to make sure it is clean.
Condition your hair with conditioner enhanced with GRAPEFRUIT and mint.
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
Rinse conditioner off hair.
Shave armpits and legs.
Turn off shower.
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
Spray mould spots with tile cleaner.
Get out of shower.
Dry with towel the size of a small country.
Wrap hair in a super absorbent towel.
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and the hand towel on head.
If you see your husband /boyfriend along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave in a pile on the floor.
Walk naked to the bathroom.
If you see your girlfriend/ wife along the way, shake willy at her making the "woo-woo" sound.
Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your willy and scratch your bum.
Get in the shower.
Wash your face. Wash your armpits.
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse it off.
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
Wash your bum, leaving those coarse bum hairs stuck on the soap.
Wash your hair.
Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
Pee.
Rinse off and get out of shower.
Partially dry off.
Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of bath the whole time.
Admire willy size in mirror again.
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
If you pass girlfriend/ wife, pull off towel, shake willy at her and make the "woo-woo" sound again.
Throw wet towel on bed.
-------------------- Coffee should be black as hell, strong as death, and sweet as love.
|
Disco Cat
iS A PoiNdexteR

Registered: 09/15/00
Posts: 2,601
|
|
haha. I'm more like the woman's version in regards to tidyness, and no woo woo!
|
OneMoreRobot3021


Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 61,024
Loc: the sky
|
|
I'm really glad I finally decided to read this post. The Man part cracked me up.
-------------------- Acid doesn't give you truths; it builds machines that push the envelope of perception. Whatever revelations came to me then have dissolved like skywriting. All I really know is that those few years saddled me with a faith in the redemptive potential of the imagination which, however flat, stale and unprofitable the world seems to me now, I cannot for the life of me shake. -Erik Davis
|
daimyo
Monticello

Registered: 05/13/04
Posts: 7,751
Last seen: 12 years, 18 hours
|
|
Quote:
SkorpivoMusterion said: If you see your girlfriend/ wife along the way, shake willy at her making the "woo-woo" sound.
--------------------
"I have sworn upon the altar of God eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man."
|
kit_kat
Vixen


Registered: 01/05/06
Posts: 249
|
|
lol... I'm glad I don't live with a guy anymore, this is one of the reasons.
--------------------
|
Pirate_Patrick
Stranger

Registered: 04/20/05
Posts: 342
Last seen: 17 years, 1 month
|
Re: How To Shower [Re: kit_kat]
#5408160 - 03/16/06 12:39 PM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
Haha, it's almost true. I don't play in the shower. I get my clean and get out.
Hi kit_kat, haven't seen you post in awhile.
|
Peyote_Princess
dreamer


Registered: 03/16/06
Posts: 92
Loc: My own Island...
Last seen: 17 years, 8 months
|
|
Hahaha...
that's brilliant - rotflmao!
soooo scarily accurate
*mwah*
Peyote_Princess xXx
-------------------- "Was I talking? ... Did they hear me?"
|
Corporal Kielbasa

Registered: 05/29/04
Posts: 17,235
|
|
There is much truth in that fersure!
|
Penguarky Tunguin
f n o r d

Registered: 08/08/04
Posts: 17,192
|
|
Make a shampoo mohawk.
Hahahaha, I do that everytime.
-------------------- Every mistake, intentional or otherwise, in the above post, is the fault of the reader.
|
JMK0420
is chillin

Registered: 08/17/05
Posts: 218
Last seen: 3 years, 8 months
|
|
some funny shit man
|
poke smot!
floccinocci floofinator


Registered: 01/08/03
Posts: 5,248
|
|
Post deleted by poke smot!Reason for deletion: x
|
OneMoreRobot3021


Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 61,024
Loc: the sky
|
|
Me too! /high five
-------------------- Acid doesn't give you truths; it builds machines that push the envelope of perception. Whatever revelations came to me then have dissolved like skywriting. All I really know is that those few years saddled me with a faith in the redemptive potential of the imagination which, however flat, stale and unprofitable the world seems to me now, I cannot for the life of me shake. -Erik Davis
|
|