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Offlinelarksinc
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Registered: 01/18/05
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Blackout and Pissing Myself
    #3642010 - 01/18/05 03:35 AM (11 years, 10 months ago)

My first mushroom trip crept slowly onto my conscious. Visual effects that i had anticipated were morphing the Christmas tree lights into faces and the Christmas tree itself turned into a stairway to heaven. My body felt good. A stupefied grin lingered on my face.

We had all decided to venture into my friend's room, looking for graphics on his computer to trip on. That's when it started spiraling into a frenzy of unexpected events.

My friend, Thomas, was holding a piece in his hand offering it to another friend, Chris. Thomas gestured raising the piece slightly. Chris only responded with a grunt and a slightly confused look on his face. Thomas, again, gestured, offering the piece to Chris. Chris responded again with a furrowed brow and slightly tilted head.

I witnessed this happen. Over. And over. I wanted to stop the confusion. I wanted to sweep in valiantly and ask with conviction, "Chris would you like to smoke a little?"

But I did nothing. I couldn't do anything. Finally Thomas fixed his gaze on me and gestured the same. Now it was my turn and I knew what was going on, I wasn't confused.

But the thought of taking a hit didn't really appeal to me, and even if I had wanted to, it felt as if I couldn't physically do it.

"No, I can't do it."
"Can't do it?" Thomas giggled back.
"Yeah, physically, I can't do it."
"Paha. Sure you can. Here, just take the piece," Thomas placed the small pipe in my hand,
"Light the bowl," Thomas lit the bowl,
"Now inhale."

I couldn't. He didn't understand. Something just stopped me from inhaling the smoke. So I pretended. I jut my chest out as if inhaling.

"See, you can do it."

Not a few seconds went by until I left myself. Black. There was a crash and a torrent of laughter. My thoughts came from some abyss,

'Oh, I must have fallen.'

Voices seemed far. Stretch. Stretch. I need to stretch.

I was gone. But I could hear.

I could imagine everyone's voice clearly. I could predict their sentences, statements, their tone. I created everything they sad. Everything they did. I created them.

Nails. Nails. I need to bite my nails.

My fingers entered my mouth and I devoured my nail tips. The small nail fragments would fly around my mouth. I never really chewed but they seemed to explode into even smaller fragments.

Noises would slowly creep to an apex. A peak of laughter, high pitched and uncontrolled. And then quickly, as if beheaded, would silence.

I could tell I was gnawing on a shoe, but I didn't care.

I would look up, see my friends and they would look back.

"You okay?"

I would just stare.

No. I am not ready to come back yet. They are not ready for me. I am not ready for them.

And back I would go. Into nothing. Into everything.

Finally, I awoke. Now is the time. I got up and was struck with the scent of urine.

Had I pissed myself? My hands quickly went to the crotch of my pants. My fingers were still numb so I had to use my forearm. I had. I had peed while I was lost. But I remember it. I remember the feeling and how free it made me feel.

I looked at my friends, now sitting on a bed and anticipated every facial expression and knew what they were going to say,

"You okay? You're back now? How weird is it that he just snaps out of it?" Thomas remarks to Chris.
"I pissed myself." That's all that i could get out, that's all I could muster.

Laughter. Again, more laughter. It was all too familiar.

"Yeah, to say the least." Thomas said.
"Why don't you go take a shower, clean up."

I didn't respond, just stood.

"Here, you need my help?" I nodded, why not.

I followed him to the bathroom and watched as he turned on the shower and put a towel on the top of the toilet.

"There you go, have at it." He shut the door and left.

I looked at myself in the mirror. It was a horrid sight. I remembered my nails. They were bitten to a stub, jagged. The tips of my fingers were pruned from the moisture.

Was I really back? Was this all real or am I still making it all up?

I gripped my shirt and tried to feel it. I imagined what it should feel like, but that's all I could do. I couldn't feel with my hands. After some time, however, it seemed like my senses were delayed but everything came back to normal.

My friends explained to me how I blacked out and was sprawled on Thomas' bedroom floor. How I would stare intently at them and then go back into my world. How they walked into the room and found me lying on the hardwood floor, with my head under Thomas' bed and the crotch of my jeans darkened by my urine.

They took pictures.

This was my first trip on mushrooms. My second trip was very similar but instead I blacked out in my friend's car and pissed myself again.

Will this happen every time? Am I just taking too much? Both times I had eaten an eighth.

Sorry for such a long post just to get to the questions, but I never really intended it to be that long, I just kind of wrote.

Thanks,
Larks


Edited by larksinc (01/18/05 03:37 AM)


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OfflineFliquid
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Re: Blackout and Pissing Myself [Re: larksinc]
    #3642066 - 01/18/05 04:14 AM (11 years, 10 months ago)

I would drink less, and if you drank alcohol.. Don't do it again when you trip.
Thanks for the story btw, I enjoyed it.. You should become a writer!  :cool:


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InvisibleYrtlzmo
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. [Re: larksinc]
    #3642119 - 01/18/05 04:37 AM (11 years, 10 months ago)

.


Edited by Yrtlzmo (02/07/13 08:40 AM)


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Offlinestefan
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Re: Blackout and Pissing Myself [Re: larksinc]
    #3642242 - 01/18/05 06:34 AM (11 years, 10 months ago)

try half an eight next time and see what happens. slowly work your way up from there. also if you keep pissing yourself (wich must suck a lot) I suggest you don't take mushrooms anymore.


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Offlinedjd586
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Re: Blackout and Pissing Myself [Re: stefan]
    #3642562 - 01/18/05 10:38 AM (11 years, 10 months ago)

One of my friends has this problem everytime he trips, so no he refuses to trip because he always pisses himself.

It wasn't till his 5th or 6th time tripping. Somehow he brought out the subject of bed wetting, which totally took me and my other friend off guard. He told us that he had a problem with it when he was younger and wasn't able to get it under control until he was 15.

We really didn't know how to respond to the statement. I was really uncomfortable with it for some reason. I had this feeling that he was letting a deep dark secret slip out that he didn't want anyone to know about. Then he stood up and said that he couldn't stop it and he pissed his shorts right in front of us. I was pissed; I watched a stream of urine run down from under his shorts, down his leg, off his foot and form a puddle on my carpet. Now I'm thinking I have to clean this fricken mess up while I'm trippin balls. I made him take a shower and put on some new clothes, then he repeated the process almost exactly the same as it had happened before. He started to cry and wig out a little. I gave him a few xanax and tried to comfort him a little trying to tell him that it wasn't an uncommon problem. After he calmed down a bit he didn't ever recall doing it. He said that he thought about doing it but didn't think it had played out. He though the whole sequence of events was just in his head.

So the very next time he trips with us he pisses his pants after an hour, then once again after another hour. I once again had to clean up his mess and force him to shower. After that trip, I refuse to trip with him and he refuses to trip all together.

Anyway, the point I'm trying to get at here, perhaps your problem is underlying?


--------------------

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OfflineMycoJunkie
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Re: Blackout and Pissing Myself [Re: djd586]
    #3642666 - 01/18/05 11:25 AM (11 years, 10 months ago)

I suggest you pee right after u take the shrooms. It will take at least 15-20 minutes for u to even begin to feel them, so pee right after ya take them, or even right before, and don't drink too much liquids before u trip.

Oh yeah, and for those of u with friends who "leak" on trips: Tell them u want to trip outdoors, and tell them to bring a change of clothes. Jesus man. How do u not get over bedwetting until age 15. PEE BEFORE U GOTO SLEEP! PEE BEFORE U START TO TRIP!


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Invisibledblaney
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Re: Blackout and Pissing Myself [Re: MycoJunkie]
    #3642935 - 01/18/05 12:55 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

MycoJunkie said:
How do u not get over bedwetting until age 15.




There are quite a few reasons, you should try being a little more understanding my friend.


--------------------
"What is in us that turns a deaf ear to the cries of human suffering?"

"Belief is a beautiful armor
But makes for the heaviest sword"
- John Mayer

Making the noise "penicillin" is no substitute for actually taking penicillin.

"This country, with its institutions, belongs to the people who inhabit it. Whenever they shall grow weary of the existing government, they can exercise their constitutional right of amending it, or their revolutionary right to dismember or overthrow it." -Abraham Lincoln


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Invisibleclone
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Re: Blackout and Pissing Myself [Re: dblaney]
    #3642973 - 01/18/05 01:10 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

i would suggest drinking less liquids, and piss right after ingestion, or as soon as possible after.
i have never pissed myself, but last time i was tripping i got up to take a piss, as i pissed i shrunk. i realized every drop drained was making me smaller. when i was done i felt like i was the size of a 5 year old boy. now i know what Alice felt when she went down the rabbit hole.


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Invisibledblaney
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Re: Blackout and Pissing Myself [Re: clone]
    #3643017 - 01/18/05 01:24 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

I agree with the above suggestions, and I always make it a point to urinate at least once or twice during the trip, as I often discover that I will have had to go, even though I didn't feel I had to. This might be a good idea.


--------------------
"What is in us that turns a deaf ear to the cries of human suffering?"

"Belief is a beautiful armor
But makes for the heaviest sword"
- John Mayer

Making the noise "penicillin" is no substitute for actually taking penicillin.

"This country, with its institutions, belongs to the people who inhabit it. Whenever they shall grow weary of the existing government, they can exercise their constitutional right of amending it, or their revolutionary right to dismember or overthrow it." -Abraham Lincoln


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Offlinelarksinc
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Re: Blackout and Pissing Myself [Re: dblaney]
    #3643467 - 01/18/05 03:25 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

Thanks for your responses. I had in fact made it definite that the next time I shroom, I should go to the bathroom.

And that's what I did.

The next time my friends and I took shrooms things began to go bad a lot quicker.

After eating the mushrooms we were all sitting in Thomas' room waiting for it to take effect. We brought lights this time and a lava lamp expecting to later trip hard on them. Thomas got up and said,

"Ergh, I'm gonna vomit."

I was fighting this battle as well. My stomach was definitely not happy with the toxic intruders, but I convinced myself I would not vomit. As Thomas started to walk to the bathroom he held his hand up to his mouth, his cheeks puffed out.

"Ah, no, man. I already fought that battle." I remarked.

Thomas then disappeared and we quickly focused on other things: the patterns on the wall, the strobe light. So far the trip wasn't going as planned; I wasn't feeling well and was scared I was going to black out again.

"Ahhh, man." Thomas walked in with vomit on his shirt.
"Jesus, man, you okay?"
"Yeah, I just have to change."

An odd feeling of sea-sickness came over me as I remembered to go to the bathroom just in case. I got off the bed and walked to the bathroom; there was vomit everywhere. On the door. On the sink. On the floor. In the corners,

"Wow, Thomas, I didn't even know that this was possible."

Thomas got changed and cleaned up before returning to his bed. I decided to sit in front of the sliding glass door and look outside. I heard a jackhammer. I thought,

'Jeez, when you're doing something like that you've got to know that your disturbing everyone at least half a mile round.'

I heard mumbling in Thomas' room, but for some reason it didn't seem the least bit coherent. It sounded as if every statement was a question, as if both people were confused as to what the other one was talking about.

Damn it. Not confusion again. I walked in the room.

"I'm gonna clean the bathroom at 3:00" Thomas told Chris.

I looked at the clock to find it was only 2:50.

My attention converted to the bathroom.
How are we going to clean this up? It's everywhere. How..

Suddenly it was 3:00.

"Thomas, are you going to clean it up? Whens your mom coming home?"
"Yeah, yeah. My mom comes home at around 5:00. There's no rush."

It was 3:10.

"Thomas.."
"Yeah, I know."

He got up and went to the kitchen to get a sponge and paper towels. He came back to the bathroom and just stared.

"What. The. Fuck."

He started wiping the door.

"What the fuck am I doing? How do I do this? Nobody ever taught me how to do this, how to clean shit like this."

He started to panic.

"Shit, man. Look at the rug! There's mushrooms all in it, how am I going to explain this to my mom when she gets home. 'Oh yeah, mom, I just decided to clean the bathroom rug, I had an urge.' No. No, no, no. This is bad."

"Well, how long does it take to clean and dry the rug?" I tried to stay calm.

"A couple hours, but that doesn't matter because we're out of detergent."

'Fuck!' I thought. Still, however, I was calm. I was calm because this didn't effect me directly, it was Thomas' problem, as greedy as it sounds, and I wasn't going to be caught on mushrooms.

"Well when does your mom come home?"
"At five."
"Are you sure? She comes home the same time everyday?"
"Yes, I'm sure. It's what she's done all my life. At five o'clock everyday he just walks in and does 'mom' things. It's what she does."
"Fuck."

'Fuck.' It was already 4:00.

"Okay, I'll help you."
"Yeah, me too." Chris agreed.

I got a sponge and started wiping the door. I became confused.

'What the hell am I doing? What do i do now? Nobody ever taught me how to clean up mushroom-vomit.'

"How do i do this?"
"See! I don't know!" Thomas was heated.
"I know," An idea clicked in my head full of mushrooms,
"The toilet! Just flush everything down the toilet! Then it's someone else's problem!"
"Yes! Someone else's problem! Water. We need to turn the water on, it goes down the drain and is someone else's problem."

Thomas turned the shower on and flushed the toilet. Nothing changed. What was going on?

I looked at Chris who was sitting on the floor now.

"These are really cool patterns." Yeah, he was definitely on mushrooms.

I started pacing.

'I need to get out. I need to get out. This is not my problem. I need to get home. I need to sleep. Yes, sleep. When i wake up everything will be better. I'll go home and just get in bed - shit, wait. My whole family is home. What am I going to say when i walk in at five, "Hey, guys, just tired had a really long day even though it's Saturday. G'night." No, I need to leave.'

"Guys I need to go, Chris can you give me a ride home?" I frantically paced in his living room.

"Go?! Leave?! No, no. Fuck you. You are as much a part of this as I am." Thomas retorted.

'Oh, shit I am. I'm screwed. I'm trapped. We're gonna get caught.'

"Sleep, I need sleep. I just need to get home and sleep. Sleep."

For some reason, however, Thomas calmed almost instantly.

"Hey guys, don't worry. I'll just tell my mom I ate too many donuts and felt sick. It's not big deal, she'll understand."

That didn't do it for me though.

'No, no she's not going to buy that. We need to clean the bathroom.'

"No, you're mom's going to walk in and find all of us in your room and a bathroom full of vomit. Well, well wait let's think. She'll come in and see vomit; but it's just vomit and vomits vomit, you can't really tell what's in it. No. No, no she'll see, she's smart. This is not good. I just need to get home and sleep."

I was pacing very quickly now.

"Hey, Chris why don't you take him on a walk. He needs to cool down, chill him out."

"Yeah. Hey why don't we take a walk, it's nice outside." Chris turned me to the direction of my shoes.

"But what if someone sees us. Two teenagers taking a walk at 5:00, that's suspicious." I sat down on and put my right shoe on and tied it.

"No, we'll be fine."

The feeling in my hands began to fade. I tried to put on my left shoe but only half of my foot went in. I tried tying it but I knew I was getting lost, again.

I stood up, hoping the change would deter my ebbing reality. Chris put a hand on my back and said,

"Alright let's go."
"But what about Thom-"
"Don't worry, everything is fine."

As we left the house we walked by Thomas' dad who had just got home. I put a hand up as if saying hello, I didn't make eye contact, or at least I don't think I did. I can only imagine what a father returning to his home, his territory to find two teenagers unusually inattentive stumble out of his house.

"Hello," Chris greeted.

We walked to Chris' car and I got in. I was a lot calmer now, just confused.

"What are we doing, where are we?" I looked at Chris hoping for a confident answer,
"I don't know. Is this even my car? Who's car is this? Oh well." I panicked again.

'Were we in the right car? Had we just stolen someone's car? Am I going to get caught. I just need sleep.'

"Chris I need sleep. I need to go to sleep."
"Then sleep, just sleep don't worry."
"Should you really be driving like this?"
"Yeah, you're right I'll pull over here."
"Are you sure it's not a red zone?"
"I hope so."

Then something odd happened, as if the events weren't odd enough. I looked out the window and my eyes trained and followed something, as if somebody was walking past the window, but nobody was there, nothing was there.

"Oop, no looking. Don't look at them."

'Look at what? There's nothing-'

But then a person walked by and my eyes traced into the same direction and the exact same way as it did only moments earlier.

'What the hell is going on.'

Chris started driving again and we found Thomas and his friend Lucy who was shrooming with us as well.

"Hey, man, how are you doing?" Thomas asked. I just stared back.
"I'm not on shrooms, I'm not on shrooms." I repeated. Thomas laughed.
"Okay man."

That's all i can remember. I remember small pieces of fading in and fading out. I don't remember what I was going through when I blacked out. The one thing I do remember is that when I was inside myself I understood everything and the cause of everything. Circles and loops everything was a circle. But when I awoke for split seconds it was as if it all escaped me.

Finally I came out of it.

"Shit, man. Are you back?"

I looked into the back seat, Chris and Lucy were staring back with concern. I was seated in the front passenger seat with my legs on the dash board.

"Look what you did." He pointed at my right foot.

I took my foot away and was greeted with a medium sized crack. It was a splintered crack that emerged from a small major crack, where the ball of my foot was.

"Holy shit, I did that?"

Memories of Chris yelling at me and holding my legs back from the back seat came to me.

"Yeah, man. You're a fucking ox."
"Jesus, I'm sorry Chris."
"See, I told you he'd be apologetic," Chris remarked to Lucy.
"Don't worry about it, I barely look out of that side anyway. Hey, did you piss yourself again? Please tell me you didn't piss yourself again."

I reached down to my crotch but again couldn't feel out of my hands, so I used my forearm. Yep. I did it again.

"Shit, Chris. I'm sorry."
"Ah, oh well. Don't worry about it." I looked back at him, he surprisingly had a grin on his face.
"You were out cold man. You wake up and just stare at us, we'd ask you if you were alright and all you kept saying was, 'I'm not on shrooms, I'm not on shrooms.' Where the hell were you?"

"I.. don't know. I'm gonna go outside, need air."

It was later in the evening around 8:00, the air was crisp and my breath lingered in front of my face. I found Thomas eating a burrito. He explained to me that he wasn't feeling the drug vibe before we took the shrooms and that whenever one of us feels like that we have to let it be known. He explained that some people and some drugs just don't mix and that maybe shrooms is that way for me. Thomas came to me as if an oasis of answers and knowledge in a hopeless desert. I just smiled back and nodded.

The rest of the night was spent at a laundromat cleaning my clothes for a couple of hours. We talked about what happened and connected through the experience. We became closer that night and it was obvious that all of us cared deeply for one another.

Is this going to happen all the time? I searched the board for similar cases but could find nothing. I'm going to take a smaller dosage next time but I'm scared the will only put me with one foot through the door of full detachment into the infinite.

Replies would be greatly appreciated, sorry for the length but I wanted to describe my experience to the fullest extent (but still there are some things I left out, just small things) so whenever someone like me comes to the board they can find an outlet.

Thanks,
Larks


Edited by larksinc (01/20/05 12:00 AM)


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Offlinesyanesso
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Re: Blackout and Pissing Myself [Re: larksinc]
    #3643586 - 01/18/05 04:02 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

nice report! what did he end up telling his mom about the rug?


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Offlinelarksinc
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Re: Blackout and Pissing Myself [Re: syanesso]
    #3643600 - 01/18/05 04:05 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

He told his mom what he said he was going to tell her: that he ate too many donuts that morning, felt sick, called his friends and threw up.

She understood and everything was fine. His mom is a very kind and understanding mom and has let Thomas know that she knows he's growing and testing his boundaries, she just wants him to make sure he does it in a safe environment.


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InvisibleBurke Dennings

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Re: Blackout and Pissing Myself [Re: larksinc]
    #3644060 - 01/18/05 05:42 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

So, what, does she think he's "growing and testing his boundaries" with donuts?


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Invisibledblaney
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Re: Blackout and Pissing Myself [Re: Burke Dennings]
    #3644276 - 01/18/05 06:25 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

Perhaps she thinks they were drinking, and had too much, hence the vomit...?

Or perhaps it was a truly innocuous remark.


--------------------
"What is in us that turns a deaf ear to the cries of human suffering?"

"Belief is a beautiful armor
But makes for the heaviest sword"
- John Mayer

Making the noise "penicillin" is no substitute for actually taking penicillin.

"This country, with its institutions, belongs to the people who inhabit it. Whenever they shall grow weary of the existing government, they can exercise their constitutional right of amending it, or their revolutionary right to dismember or overthrow it." -Abraham Lincoln


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Offlineholio1
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Re: Blackout and Pissing Myself [Re: larksinc]
    #3644303 - 01/18/05 06:29 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

okay to the first post all i can say is been there done that. i pissed myself too, feels nice till you get cold... anyways, extremely similar experience, but i can remember more of what i was going through when you blacked out, but it was more thoughts inside my head and visions. that was on 60g fresh and an MAOI though, my eighth trips have definately been more down to earth

seriously your friend thomas seems to have it down. ensure you are really feeling that vibe that you want to be doing this and you want to experience something, and for your sake just try and feel like its going to be a good time, no worries.
if you want to give it another shot, take a lower dose 2g or so should be benificial.
another tip, try going outside on a nice day, somewhere out of the city or at least somewhere not very busy. a lot of people like to listen to music while they trip and you should try listening to some music you are familiar with and enjoy, nothing too trippy unless you are ready to go back "there"

also, i dont know how old you are, but i think it might be smart to wait a bit, if you think you are now ready then go for it, but obviously there have been some issues.

hopefully you have learned from your trips and seen something while you blacked out and it all wasn't just a huge confusing mess.


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Offlinelarksinc
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Re: Blackout and Pissing Myself [Re: Burke Dennings]
    #3644833 - 01/18/05 08:25 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

electrode said:
So, what, does she think he's "growing and testing his boundaries" with donuts?




I guess I was a little vague. She knows to an extent what he does, but doesn't pry. It seems as though she bought the donut story but also knew something wasn't right, but turned a blind eye.

Thanks for all your responses. I wasn't very sure about mushrooms anymore until I came to this site and read other posts. It makes me want to do it again, explore and experience more. Next time I'll take a lesser dosage and see what happens.


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OfflineGinseng1
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Re: Blackout and Pissing Myself [Re: larksinc]
    #3645118 - 01/18/05 09:15 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

Maybe you have a really low tolerance to shrooms.

I know that when I'm on shrooms my body feels perfectly connected and the blending of senses is something that happens on high level trips. If I were to piss myself I might not even know it if I was tripping very hard, since I would feel connected to everything.


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Flowing through beginningless time since time without beginning...


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InvisibleDark_Star
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Re: Blackout and Pissing Myself [Re: larksinc]
    #3645140 - 01/18/05 09:18 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

They took pictures???......that's fucked up, i'd never take advantage of a friend in a situation like that.  :nonono:


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OfflineGinseng1
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Re: Blackout and Pissing Myself [Re: Dark_Star]
    #3645168 - 01/18/05 09:25 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

Dark_Star said:
They took pictures???......that's fucked up, i'd never take advantage of a friend in a situation like that.  :nonono:




I agree.. thats fuckin wack.


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Offlinelarksinc
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Registered: 01/18/05
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Re: Blackout and Pissing Myself [Re: Dark_Star]
    #3645268 - 01/18/05 09:48 PM (11 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

Dark_Star said:
They took pictures???......that's fucked up, i'd never take advantage of a friend in a situation like that.  :nonono:




Heh, I didn't take offense at all. We had, and still do, a good laugh about it.


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