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Dating two women, could use some input/advice * 1
    #29634291 -

How we doing shroomery?

Been a while but I've been smoking weed more lately and have a little conundrum, so I thought why not ask the shroomery.

First for context I am about to be a 37 y.o man of relatively average attractiveness with a fairly decent salary job. Over the past 20 or so years, while I haven't been wildly successful with women, I've had my fair share of dates and multiple week to multiple month flings, but the longest relationship I had was roughly 6mo. I want to get married and have a family, at this point I am hoping the next girl I date would be a girl I would be proposing to in 1-2 years.

Anyway, about 2 weeks ago I matched with Tara and we just had our third date. Tara is 30 and has no kids but wants a family too. She is definitely attractive, I would rate her about 7/10 for her looks and body, but not necessarily a knockout or anything. We agree on a lot of political and social issues and both love dogs. And possibly the best part she likes outdoors/camping and has been getting into golf which I have also been playing for the past ~7 years.

Then literally a few days after I matched with Tara (and before our first date) I matched with Bethany who I also have had 3 dates with as of two days ago. Bethany is 38 and has 1 son who is turning 10 this year, her and her sons dad are pretty much cordially co-parenting so he does see his dad a lot but they are 100% done romantically. She is also open to having more children. Bethany I cannot deny I am very much attracted too. I would rate her almost a 9/10, short with a curvy body and very beautiful face/smile. We also agree on most things politically and socially and she is really sweet.

So to this point like I said I've seen both of them 3 times and have been texting both daily. I don't know what to do and this is where things are a little more complicated. Tara things are moving much slower, I only kissed her once on our last date and have been pretty platonic in texting but she seems into me, is quick to respond and ask me questions, ect. Bethany things have been moving considerably faster, we've been sexting and I fucked her on our third date and she is coming over tomorrow again now.

I honestly see a potential for long term with both and I really don't want to hurt either of these girls, but it's getting the point I feel bad fucking Bethany while also dating and progressing with Tara. I think the toughest part for me is when I look at it on paper it seems semi-obvious that I should pick Tara. She is younger and doesn't have any kids, and the fact she plays golf is so cool to me. Bethany already having a son and being older would put a lot more pressure to commit and have children. However with that being said I am getting closer with Bethany much faster and my dick is shouting to choose her. I also feel like she would be more hurt than Tara would be if I had to end it with one or the other right now. I've debated just straight up telling them that I like them but am dating another girl too, which would make my conscience feel better but could also backfire completely. Any insight or advice would be appreciated!


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All I ever wanted was to be free,

and in the end that's how it turned out to be...

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Re: Dating two women, could use some input/advice [Re: Revolutionine] * 1
    #29634626 -

You’re already in the wrong man, determine the choice of your heart and stick with it.


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Omnicyclion.org
personal empowerment for the world

:nyan: LGBT - Love God Before Tradition :nyan:

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Re: Dating two women, could use some input/advice [Re: Asante] * 1
    #29635148 -

If you can't be honest with your intent with both women then you should give up on one of them. Probably the less stable women mind you.  I get it cheating is fun and seems natural.  I was 20 once so I get it. But as you age you learn to settle down and settle. Get married young so the divorce is less costly.


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The better guide to grow mushrooms.
https://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/8553541

Beware the power of one.  The power of two. The power of many.

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Re: Dating two women, could use some input/advice [Re: Revolutionine]
    #29635623 -

I was jus gonna say if you wanna family, you do realize a shmoke show 38 y/o prob has almost zero biological clock left to do so, particularly without some health concerns, how is this not an obvious dealbreaker in this case concerning your long term future?
35-40 is cutting it close for getting preggers safely bro(naturally in most cases)


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hmm...

"I'm naked and fearless... And my fear is naked."

"life isn't worth living without the threat of death"

"I got my plans in a ziploc bag, let's see how unproductive we can be"

"nobody lives their lives fully except for bull fighters"

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Re: Dating two women, could use some input/advice [Re: ashfiken]
    #29636541 -

Asante said:
You’re already in the wrong man, determine the choice of your heart and stick with it.



I don't know man, am I in the wrong? I met both on a dating app at roughly the same exact time. I can't count how many times I was chatting with a woman for a few days and then they still ghost before even one date. I tried setting up dates with both of them thinking one would probably fall through or just not be a good match, but both surprisingly went well and they seem to like me too. I haven't been dishonest with either about my intentions and neither one thinks we are exclusive or committed to each other at all.



vicepope said:
If you can't be honest with your intent with both women then you should give up on one of them. Probably the less stable women mind you.  I get it cheating is fun and seems natural.  I was 20 once so I get it. But as you age you learn to settle down and settle. Get married young so the divorce is less costly.



Well I've been completely honest with both of them about what I am looking for and my intent. I told both I want a loyal committed relationship with the goal of marriage and a family. As I said in my post I'm turning 37 haha, the last thing I want to do is cheat. I'm actively looking to settle down and be a committed husband and don't plan on getting a divorce.

I guess everyone has opinions but I don't really consider it "cheating" to be just dating more than one person though. To this point I haven't had any kind of conversation with either one about being anything exclusive, but now that I did hook up with Bethany it's just kind of changed the dynamic. With that being said that is kind of the point of my post, I like both of them a lot. It is getting to the point where they both are starting to feel like they are heading to being a committed relationship and I don't want to hurt either one of them.



ashfiken said:
I was jus gonna say if you wanna family, you do realize a shmoke show 38 y/o prob has almost zero biological clock left to do so, particularly without some health concerns, how is this not an obvious dealbreaker in this case concerning your long term future?
35-40 is cutting it close for getting preggers safely bro(naturally in most cases)



Yeah I know man this is obviously the biggest red flag of all and maybe too much to overlook. I think it's possible to have 1 and maybe at the very most 2 kids with this woman but there would be so much urgency to make it happen. She is amazing and very beautiful but it's literally been not even 3 weeks, I'm not sure that I'm ready to commit to marrying and having a child with her. It seems like everyone is saying I need to choose one and quit entirely on the other, which I guess ultimately I did figure I needed to do but really don't want to. Will update after.


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All I ever wanted was to be free,

and in the end that's how it turned out to be...

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Re: Dating two women, could use some input/advice [Re: Revolutionine]
    #29636773 -

Please do.
Im glad you rationalize the urgency factor and how unbecoming of a new relationship that can/could be.
Tbqf i think the toughest kind of decision(relationship-wise) is one of this sort, meeting two different ppl at nearly the same time, enjoying both of their company, but also needing to choose a path one or the other. With time racing forwarx and connection and emotion too, and adding rational thinking, doesnt even necessarily solve it, makes it more muddy, in fact
Not easy
Fwiw, ive encountered this once in my 20s, i prob made the wrong decision lmfao, as ive looked back.
In my case i rationalized choosing stability, and a bit more of a financial leg up, in that particular relationship , over one maybe better for my soul.
Ya live and ya learn


--------------------
hmm...

"I'm naked and fearless... And my fear is naked."

"life isn't worth living without the threat of death"

"I got my plans in a ziploc bag, let's see how unproductive we can be"

"nobody lives their lives fully except for bull fighters"

My Trade List

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Re: Dating two women, could use some input/advice [Re: ashfiken]
    #29637146 -

If you haven't already done so, I'd recommend you take a fertility test (for yourself).  Healthy 37 y.o. male shouldn't have issues, but the tests are simple and relatively affordable, to me, it would be worth your time before you make a big decision.

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