This degenerated into a way longer volume than intended, feel free to skip.
Nokumana said:
Churpee Choozle said: Don't you really love that? I came for the colors and patterns and 'look at the clouds, man, the CLOUDS'. But stayed for the heavy-handed lessons on the threads of existence, the meaninglessness of the individual, that shit. Those confusing moments when it's totally unclear if you are the grass, or the grass is you, or you're just a meadow having a bad dream. Absolutely love it.
My wife once said 'You hate all authority, but you follow those mushrooms like a docile doggy. Just because they scare the piss out of you. Follower'. And it's true.
Good to hear you had a good one!
If you'll indulge me, here's what I would say to your wife (With respect, bc she makes an excellent point): following these medicines without question is essentially following and trusting in yourself - and that very different than submitting to any other external authority. They call them entheogens for a reason - because they invoke the Devine from within all of us. I'm coming around to viewing plant medicines differently than I did, say, last month. Whereas is have always thought of them as external, separate spirits that do things TO me (heal, cure, send me, fix me), I now am beginning to feel that what they really do (and forgive me if you feel like I'm restating the obvious) is invoke that healing, curing, sending, from within me. The power of the medicine is really the power within us. What I'm also working out is related to lessons about deep humility in the face of such powerful teachers, which according to my logic above, means developing a sense of humility with myself. Gonna take me a while to work that one out...but I'm allowing what comes until I do.
Amen brother. My wife just likes to make fun of me, and she sure has a point. In daily life I always jabber about science and why people should adhere to strict definitions, methodology and argumentation structures. If the kids don't want to go to bed yet they try to trick me into fuming about monotheism. Then I will go on and on about how people choose to be misled to escape the responsibility of doing some decent thinking and standing firm for their actions, etc etc.
Meanwhile if I resurface from a trip and the message was 'paint yourself gold and wear bunny ears', I'll do it, no questions asked. So yeah.
I think these things work at different levels for different people. To keep it at the wife and me. For me, I wrestled with shit in this world from age six, when my sister died, and I could never find answers. Most of my youth was one huge struggle with all the obvious injustice and pain that seemed so senseless. No one could ever give me a palatable framework for these things. They came up with crap about sunny days, or Heaven or whatever and it just didn't make sense. Or they just thought they found an easy fuck. Later on I saw perfectly decent people die by their own hands because they were unsatisfied with the answers too.
I used a lot of drugs that gave my mind some time off but didn't alter the equation at all. Then a friend came up with mushrooms as a fun thing to try out. Tripping was the thing that gave me a framework, some kind of grand view that I desperately needed. Everything is connected, we are carbon-based matter slowly recycling itself. Everything has purpose and defies our interpretation of what purpose. On my first cactus trip I realized life is a rainbow, you can either see it in its entirety, or try to focus on the droplets, and you see individuals, but then the rainbow disappears. Sorry if this sounds really wook, but it brought me incredible peace. And so on and on. The absolute summit is that I had a vision of having kids (something I never wanted) on an acid trip. My kids closed the cycle and gave me a purpose, a bearing, peace.
So yeah. Tripping saved my life. I'm willing to believe anything I'm being told by a mushroom or cactus (or indeed, myself, but in a different state), because I know for a fact I can't get that shit elsewhere.
My wife on the other hand, had a pretty average youth, first brush with death was as an adult, never really had unanswerable questions. Didn't hang out with other warped kids who'd hang themselves, didn't fuck shit up just to give the world her middle finger. Never used drugs. Her first trip was with me, on a fair dose of cactus, and within the first two hours of her first ever trip she had contact with entities.
Like, you know, picture perfect, what every seeker is seeking. She kind of laughed it off. It didn't mean that much to her. There was no void that needed to be filled, so it drifted by. She saw the interconnectedness of all life on acid and said afterwards 'Pity you can't print that on the wall, would be awesome to watch from the couch'. She has her shit figured out and doesn't experience a need for an internal shrink, or wook revelations. She KNOWS she can trust in and follow herself.
Holy fuck sorry for the really long and rambling story.
-------------------- No nation, no border
Fight law and order
Species grown so far
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