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Mushrooms, Mycology and Psychedelics > Mushroom Cultivation > Cultivation Confessional
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Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: ModularMind] * 4
    #29457760 -

Yo @Gil,

Crushes happen dog when you're not fully synced with your person. It happens. Its understandable.
Anyone can seem a special little star in the sky for a night.

but there is only one Moon.


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The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The OFFICIAL Cultivation Off Topic Discussion

✸-✸-✸

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Shroomery

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Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: BeefExtreme] * 6
    #29457894 -

to everyone:

BeefExtreme said:
GO PLACIDLY AMID THE NOISE & HASTE, & REMEMBER WHAT PEACE THERE MAY BE IN SILENCE. AS FAR AS POSSIBLE WITHOUT surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly & clearly; and listen to others, even the dull & ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud & aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain & bitter; for always there will be greater & lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity & disenchantment it is perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. Do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of farigue & loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees & the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors & aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With all its sham, drudgery & broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy.



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The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The OFFICIAL Cultivation Off Topic Discussion

✸-✸-✸

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Shroomery

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Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: BeefExtreme] * 4
    #29457926 -

BeefExtreme said:
to everyone:

BeefExtreme said:
GO PLACIDLY AMID THE NOISE & HASTE, & REMEMBER WHAT PEACE THERE MAY BE IN SILENCE. AS FAR AS POSSIBLE WITHOUT surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly & clearly; and listen to others, even the dull & ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud & aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain & bitter; for always there will be greater & lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity & disenchantment it is perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. Do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of farigue & loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees & the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors & aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With all its sham, drudgery & broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy.



I've been waiting for the right moment to share with this group that I'm preparing for an ayahuasca ceremony next Friday and Saturday. In preparing, I've entered into a delicate state, and have been experiencing many emotions and spiritual turmoil as the medicine begins to work in me. This is the way. I'm doing everything I can to focus on this moment and to allow whatever is to be there without trying to stretch and shrug and wish it away.

Beef, You posting this in this moment was an affirmation for me that now is the time to share this with this community.

There are no coincidences. 

Thank you, thank you, thank you.


--------------------
-Noku
Eskawata kaya waikiki
HHG
"Shake it like you would a newborn baby" - BeefExtreme

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Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: BeefExtreme]
    #29457932 -

BeefExtreme said:
to everyone:

BeefExtreme said:
GO PLACIDLY AMID THE NOISE & HASTE, & REMEMBER WHAT PEACE THERE MAY BE IN SILENCE. AS FAR AS POSSIBLE WITHOUT surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly & clearly; and listen to others, even the dull & ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud & aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain & bitter; for always there will be greater & lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity & disenchantment it is perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. Do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of farigue & loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees & the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors & aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With all its sham, drudgery & broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy.



Desiderata by Max Ehrmann. Beautiful piece with an interesting history. Thanks for sharing Beef.


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You can ignore the truth to your final breath. But trust me, it will meet you there to be ignored no longer.

The answer to your question is almost always 42
“The answer is always grow more shroom.” Mr Piggy
- Those two answers coexist peacefully.

Quick Sterilization Reference for Altitude

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Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: Nokumana]
    #29457933 -

Nokumana said:
BeefExtreme said:
to everyone:

BeefExtreme said:
GO PLACIDLY AMID THE NOISE & HASTE, & REMEMBER WHAT PEACE THERE MAY BE IN SILENCE. AS FAR AS POSSIBLE WITHOUT surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly & clearly; and listen to others, even the dull & ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud & aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain & bitter; for always there will be greater & lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity & disenchantment it is perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. Do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of farigue & loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees & the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors & aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With all its sham, drudgery & broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy.



I've been waiting for the right moment to share with this group that I'm preparing for an ayahuasca ceremony next Friday and Saturday. In preparing, I've entered into a delicate state, and have been experiencing many emotions and spiritual turmoil as the medicine begins to work in me. This is the way. I'm doing everything I can to focus on this moment and to allow whatever is to be there without trying to stretch and shrug and wish it away.

Beef, You posting this in this moment was an affirmation for me that now is the time to share this with this community.

There are no coincidences. 

Thank you, thank you, thank you.


When you open the way, the way opens. Be at peace.


--------------------
You can ignore the truth to your final breath. But trust me, it will meet you there to be ignored no longer.

The answer to your question is almost always 42
“The answer is always grow more shroom.” Mr Piggy
- Those two answers coexist peacefully.

Quick Sterilization Reference for Altitude

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Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: 1NFIN8]
    #29457934 -

🙏


--------------------
-Noku
Eskawata kaya waikiki
HHG
"Shake it like you would a newborn baby" - BeefExtreme

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Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: Nokumana]
    #29457996 -

I jumped straight to the last page by mistake.
:howdy:
What'd I miss my hooligans?


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Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: GenesisCorrupted] * 4
    #29458047 -

Have you ever been woken up by a raging boner and were initially pretty impressed, but you stop and wonder why the last dream you had was about cheesecake? Weird.

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Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: AstroSporeFiend]
    #29458058 -

Thanks again, Beef. I had a long conversation with my dad yesterday. He is a very intelligent, spiritual, and perceptive man. He offered some great advice that helped me to roll back my anxiety over this situation. He also helped me come up with a plan to work on my current relationship.

My lady came over last night. We wont have much time together this weekend since our schedules are conflicting. Less than 24 hours together. Usually we have at least two days each week. Everything was pretty good. About the time I was ready to crash, she started getting on my nerves. She's kind of annoying when she drinks very much. Depending on how fast they go down, more than 3 and I see it come through.

We used to drink a lot together. I started to have health problems because of it and slowed down quite a bit. She has too, but she still pushes it. Ale & wine are usually ok. When we get into the cocktails, that's when it starts going sideways. Something has changed. I'm not sure what. Maybe because I'm not as drunk as I was. I'm more present. Our relationship was fueled by alcohol during the first part.



Astro- :laugh2: sexual cheesecake!


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Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: Gilmour Hendrix]
    #29458060 -

ya..  the alcohol man.  that drug specifically can make it hard to sync up. 

remember that scene in interstellar when he had to lock on to a spinning space station?


--------------------
The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The OFFICIAL Cultivation Off Topic Discussion

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The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Shroomery

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Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: BeefExtreme] * 5
    #29458076 -

I remember that. It's easy if you're running on the same rocket fuel. In this case, booze.

Come to think of it, not only have I cut way back on drinking, I also got off Suboxone since we have been together. So, yeah. My brain juice is conducting differently.

Subs get so deep into your soul, it's a hard one to come back from. I was on it for 12 years. When I got off, every emotion I was incapable of feeling in 12 years came out of me all at once in my kitchen one night. My grandma passed less than a year earlier. I grieved but not like I should have. I was making herbal tea that she used to make me when I was a little boy. It had been several years since I had any. I was making it in a mug that has a picture of her and my grandpa on it. She always taught me to appreciate things. Touch them to feel them if you can. Close your eyes and smell them. Appreciate the beauty of the flowers on a warm day with a soft breeze. That night, when I smelled the tea packet, it took me back to when I was little, standing in the kitchen, and grandma would hand me the packet to have me "smell the pretty smells". I have never cried that hard in my life. 20 minutes of sobbing uncontrollably. I cried for her, my brother, my cousin, losing my first love, the trauma of my house fire and the stress of the rebuild, every mistake I made and opportunity I passed up out of cowardice. It felt good to let all of that out.

Subs saved my life tho. I got off the needle right before fent got bad in my area.

Felt the need to share that, somehow.


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Edited by Gilmour Hendrix (01/18/26 08:29 AM)

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Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: Gilmour Hendrix] * 1
    #29458080 -

yah,  sounds like you’ve been through a metamorphosis of sorts. That’s awesome! Congrats for beating the needle, and booze too! Peace to you, dude.


--------------------
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Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: flapping_bird] * 2
    #29458085 -

ive been going through it myself too. 

smells can really trigger memories.  if only you guys could work through things together. 

proud of you dude.


--------------------
The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The OFFICIAL Cultivation Off Topic Discussion

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Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: BeefExtreme]
    #29458087 -

Mebbe talk to her about mushrooms…might help her save herself. Or she might call the cops. Probably one of those two things would happen.


--------------------
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Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: flapping_bird] * 1
    #29458091 -

Thanks, FB. That night was in October of '22. I had to cut alcohol out in early '24. These last couple of years have been different. I'm seeking things that make me feel and be alive. The heroin, subs, and booze were all to numb me so I wouldn't feel what I was running from. A lot of it was everything I cried about that night.

So here I am. The world is getting the best version of me yet. I'm trying to be honest, loving, and accepting. Eventually, I want to try to crawl out from my hide to engage with the world again. I'd like to go to a festival someday. I used to be social. The world got the best of me and I let it beat me down. No longer.

Thanks, Beef. It was worth doing, so I did it.

FB- we did have some over the late summer. I felt them fine, but she said it just made her relax a little bit. We will try again. Probably in the spring. I plan on having some low-dose healing sessions by myself until then.


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Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: Gilmour Hendrix] * 1
    #29458096 -

right on - it does feel good when I start to come back to the surface of the water, after living at the bottom of the ocean for so long - where everything is cold and dark and difficult - and ya bob to the surface and feel the sunshine on your face for the first time in what seems like ages….I’m glad you’re there, dude. Strength and peace to you!


--------------------
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Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: flapping_bird]
    #29458100 -

Thanks again, FB! Our recent "collaboration" has also helped me to work on my perception/perspective of existing. I'm working on reducing suffering within so I can take those lessons into the wilds to share.


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Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: Gilmour Hendrix] * 1
    #29458102 -

damn straight, and that’s some of the hardest work one can do…I’m doing it as well. Gotta find a way to take action when ya recognize it and that can def force some hard analysis and decisions. You’re a good man Charlie Brown…you got this.


--------------------
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Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: BeefExtreme]
    #29458104 -

BeefExtreme said:
ive been going through it myself too. 

smells can really trigger memories.


Man, isn’t that the truth? To me, some odors are like a time machine…instantly transports me back to a specific moment and place, with a sense of memory so strong as to  feel physically there for a sec. Wild stuff!


--------------------
Peace to you, friend!
The HHG is a guide to getting started.
New User Welcome Wagon
GROWER’S BEST photo contest: join the fun!
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Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: flapping_bird] * 6
    #29458114 -

Since everyone is being candid I wanted to drop this in here not to derail the conversation but just share the source of my real trauma. The trauma that still haunts my thoughts and makes me nervous.

Whenever I was at my peak of really overdoing psychs and smoking weed and drinking ect.. I had finally managed to get my hands on some dmt. I at first took a small dose but enough to get a teaser and heard a voice. I wanted more because I had never audibly heard a voice so clear and it was calling my name. A female voice..

About a month of staring at this gram I was so scared of the last experience but I needed to go farther. I was so scared I could barely bring myself to get it back out. So I decided that I would work up the courage..

I had some buckets I got from lowes with the last couple weeks harvest and just grabbed a heaping helping fistful. Probably 5-7g of cubes. I then went to my liquor storage and downed a pint or thereabouts of rot gut whiskey.

When the shakes hit from the shrooms and the numbness came over me from the alcohol I finally reached into my bag and grabbed the 1g. I was rolling a joint, and to the displeasure of my freind I dumped the whole gram in the joint.

He tried to take it from me but I literally  ran away from him to a cemetery near my old home and got about 1-3 good hits in before I went out of body. Pins and needles all over and then complete darkness. I could see my body on the ground (convulsing?). I instantly  had everything goes into fractals and could not make it stop. Panic sat in. The mushrooms turned on me and I ended up coming back in the hospital having a panic attack. Knowing that I just made a complete fool of myself and the intensity of the dmt and processing the out of body experience all at once really broke me.


After this the first night back home, I woke up to my family member in my dream (who was a woman) who was sitting in her usual place in her house and she candidly told me (its okay). She had just passed a few months earlier. I woke up screaming and crying in colds sweats that I just had the most vivid dream of my life depicting my recently deceased family member.


After this I started getting really dark entities, waking up to fingers running through  my hair, waking up to voices that sounded like family that were nowhere around. I eventually started reading scripture and it stopped after about 6 months. I've not tripped since. I thought I was done for permanently. Even now I probably wont trip anymore and i'll just get back into cultivation.


I'm at the point to where I can talk about it now and have healed for the most part. It's crazy how much a bad trip can fuck you up.


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