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Is it better to air your feelings for someone out or just remain * 1
    #26023505 -

silent? Do you think it’s better to tell someone you have feelings for them? For example a close friend or a casual acquaintance?

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Re: Is it better to air your feelings for someone out or just remain [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #26023511 -

Situational.

If you’re cool with whatever consequence, good or bad, may come of it I always say voice.

If you don’t want to risk anything remain silent.

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Re: Is it better to air your feelings for someone out or just remain [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #26023520 -

Its a question I ponder a lot. Because what if they don't share those feelings at all? Then its really embarrassing and could forever change the relationship, then you have nothing left.

I would slowly hint it myself, to test the waters. That way, you have a general idea if its a good idea to fully disclose your deep feelings.

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Re: Is it better to air your feelings for someone out or just remain [Re: LogicaL Chaos]
    #26023524 -

Yea there’s always risk vs reward? Depending on your current relationship is it a solid friendship which if you lost would cause harm.


LogicaL Chaos said:
Its a question I ponder a lot. Because what if they don't share those feelings at all? Then its really embarrassing and could forever change the relationship, then you have nothing left.

I would slowly hint it myself, to test the waters. That way, you have a general idea if its a good idea to fully disclose your deep feelings.


Yea testing the waters is a good way to go about it. But if that isn’t an option for whatever reason.

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Re: Is it better to air your feelings for someone out or just remain [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #26023528 -

Nothing ventured, nothing gained.


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Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe

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Re: Is it better to air your feelings for someone out or just remain [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
    #26023531 -

Is there anyone here that would not want to know if one of their friends had feelings for them? I probably wouldn’t want to know if it was a co-worker that I don’t really spend time with outside of work. Just because it could make things potentially awkward.

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Re: Is it better to air your feelings for someone out or just remain [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #26023535 -

Personally, I would because it could be good for relationship. But it also could be weird. Id be good with knowing thou. Some people can take the hint and just "know" if its obvious enough.

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Re: Is it better to air your feelings for someone out or just remain [Re: LogicaL Chaos] * 1
    #26023542 -

Risk #YOLO


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The eyes are useless when the mind is blind

:trippinballs: Candyflipping :omgawesome:

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Re: Is it better to air your feelings for someone out or just remain [Re: grati]
    #26024473 -

The times I’ve put myself out there have failed mostly and the other times it didn’t fail I kept it to myself.

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Re: Is it better to air your feelings for someone out or just remain [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #26024493 -

Is it a man or a woman for whom your affections are ignited?


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Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe

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Re: Is it better to air your feelings for someone out or just remain [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
    #26024614 -

Man and I think I’m going to keep my mouth shut because I’m only going to break my own heart

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Re: Is it better to air your feelings for someone out or just remain [Re: Anonymous #1] * 1
    #26024666 -

The heart says tell them, but the brain say normally if someone has the same feelings they will show signs. But if they don’t feel the same way you do, telling that person how you feel normally changes the dynamics of the relationship.


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Re: Is it better to air your feelings for someone out or just remain [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #26024720 -

Anonymous #1 said:
Man and I think I’m going to keep my mouth shut because I’m only going to break my own heart


In that case I'm not sure I could assist much, not knowing the dynamic through first hand experience.

As AG says, there's normally signs. If you've seen absolute 0 in that regard from him, you may be better off not saying anything...

Although saying that, I've had a few guys come on to me in my time, and whilst I have 0 interest in men (romantically), I've always appreciated their honesty. Plus it's kinda flattering.


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Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe

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Re: Is it better to air your feelings for someone out or just remain [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
    #26025091 -

I’m not going to tell him I feel like I’ve dropped enough hints and he hasn’t been receptive so I got my answer. Sure it would be nice to think hey maybe he does want me but I’m almost certain he doesn’t. The only other confirmation that I don’t have is him saying hey I don’t want you.

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Re: Is it better to air your feelings for someone out or just remain [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #26025124 -

Anonymous #1 said:
I’m not going to tell him I feel like I’ve dropped enough hints and he hasn’t been receptive so I got my answer.


I really, really, really do not think that is a good approach here. It's kinda defensive, you know? If somebody said that to me it would not be received well; I can tell you that.

Why not just be honest and straight up? It would be far kinder to just say 'you know, I don't know if you've noticed, but I really like you' and see how he responds.

I'm unsure if you're male or female and if you know if he is straight or gay, so there's some variable, but as the old saying goes 'honesty is the best of policy'.

And if you don't get the response you want, so what? Not everybody is gonna find us attractive. At least you've been honest and kind.

Please don't project your shit onto him. That's not a good approach to this. At all.


--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe

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Re: Is it better to air your feelings for someone out or just remain [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #26025127 -

Perhaps he cant take the hints :shrug:

Putting your feelings out there is tough. It can be quite disheartening when your love interest is not interested back. And thats the dileama of the situation, gotta put your feelings at risk or forever wonder if they got the hint and werent interested.

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Re: Is it better to air your feelings for someone out or just remain [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
    #26025162 -

I’m a female and he’s straight if that helps

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Re: Is it better to air your feelings for someone out or just remain [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #26025287 -

Anonymous #1 said:
I’m a female and he’s straight if that helps


In that case, I say absolutely go for it!! Tell him how you feel. If he rejects you, he rejects you. At least you tried. Rejection is a part of life, and no decision should be made through fear.

He'll feel flattered no matter what, of that I am sure as sure can be.

Good luck, my heart is with you!!!


--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe

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Re: Is it better to air your feelings for someone out or just remain [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #26026549 -

Wrote the insanely long Adderall comment about my story, which I'll add after this, lol.

To answer you, it's absolutely better to tell someone about your feelings. Unless he/she is actually scared of you, the worst-case scenario is that they'll take it as a compliment. The worst-case scenario of hiding your feelings (as I did) is that you both end up very hurt and you waste a lot of time.


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Take a look at my journal

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Re: Is it better to air your feelings for someone out or just remain [Re: Darwin23] * 2
    #26026550 -

I know this is kind of like telling someone who's talking about trying weed that they'll end up a prostitute for heroin, but I'll share it anyway. Here's the condensed version, Adderall makes it hard not to write a book:

-I start working this bubbly girl who is easily a 10. I feel like a 4.
-We connect and start hanging out.
-She's in a relationship and keeps lying to her boyfriend about being with me.
-She starts sending signals that I dismiss, feeling like a 4 hanging out with a 10.
-She acts jealous with girls that pay attention to me and me with guys paying attention to her.
-I'm really falling in love with her. It's not just a looks thing.
-Everyone believes we're a couple, including her parents. Still, with my fucked self-esteem, it seems impossible.
-We plan a trip to Miami with two mutual friends. I offer for her boyfriend to come in an attempt to hide my feelings.
-He tells her to go without him but texts her the whole time calling her a whore.
-In Miami, she's suddenly afraid to connect with me at all. She's almost afraid and I'm a little offended, like she thinks I'm going to rape her or something.
-After Miami, things between us fall apart.
-Her boyfriend leaves her, not long after. I'm still hiding my feelings.
-Months later, she begins to talk to guys again. I feel very heartbroken and try to hide it but she can see it.
-I find her sobbing. She feels guilty because she knows it's hurting me, but she's just not interested.
-I feel guilty as fuck.
-We talk about everything a couple days later.
-When I say I felt mixed signals from her too, she gets super defensive and calls me crazy. We end up in a big argument.
-I take almost a year to get over her.
-I end up on some personal journey, traveling the world and everything. And I know that sounds insane, she was just a crush, but it is what it is.
-I finally feel okay  and I'm just too crazy to be with anyone.
-Back in the US, I'm out drinking with the other girl that went to Miami. I get a little sad drunk and start talking about my crush and the relationship.
-Mutual friend says "You know, the way she acted in Miami, it was because she was afraid of what she might do with you. She loved her boyfriend, but she had feelings for you the whole time. I thought you would be together and then after Miami you just acted differently with her."
-WHAT THE FUCK
-My thoughts starts racing
-I feel validated, guilty, happy, sad, stupid, angry, relieved, hopeful, disappointed all at the same time.
-It provides a massive amount of closure and I actually start to move on.
-I decide to focus on myself
-Suddenly a bunch of girls seems interested in me
-When I really catch myself falling for someone, I decide to be clear
-We end up in a relationship
-Life becomes pretty great and I begin to feel happier than ever before


--------------------

Take a look at my journal

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