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Unfolding Nature Shop: Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order

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1g * 1
    #25997632 -

Took one gram, some already ground up shit i had laying around.  And i am fuckin trippin.  Figured since all the other recent attempts to trip failed with what i assume is the same batch, that id be alright to take a gram and itd wear off in time for work. But shit.  Im over here analyzing my life hardcore. 

Ive alrdy gotten so much just from this single little gram.

I guess for starters i realize with all this cognition- all these thoughts that are rising to the surface like settled dust on a floor being agitated by a breeze,  i realize, once again as ive realized this so many times in my life, the trip is all here, now...the trip is my thoughts its my words of every moment of every day. Its never somewhere else or something else. 

This leads to me realizing all the pain and depression i feel isnt a result of me living a life that im shackled to by fate for eternity. I mean i can go out and find a different job. It may be difficult but its more than possible. I can change the way i think and change my days.  Things have gotten stale lately and repetitive but im the only one thats ever gonna initiate a change. 

I also realize that most of us have to be going through life completely fucked. Realizing all this stuff makes me see how alive we are. Our minds are built to react and solve problems instantaneously and alot of us, me and my coworkers, we come to work everyday and so the same shit ignore problems cause anyone who has the power to fix them is too lazy to do so, so we all just are stuck in this day to day acceptance of bullshit that weighs on our emotional centers as a result    Then as a result we parricipate in behavior like gossip and other depressive shit thats below who we really are. A person just isnt meant to live like this. Lifes hard and we all need money but im really thinking about how much my job affects my well being and my perspective and im wondering if its even worth it. 

I have so many thoughts throghout a day and thoughts are powerful but where do they go. Words are powerful but how much power do they have if there not expressed they just fade with each thought. I over think. Over analyze. I should just do and act.  But in this world ive been thrashed and scorned for doing that for just being me. Saying it how it is.  This forces me to live in the reality created by fucking cheats and liars representing their false games while i sacrifice my own potential.  Its as if by submitting im admiting i dont have any potential.


Fuck man. A year ago i was so clear headed. I thought just going to work everyday and keeping my opinions to myself would be best. And here i am now. With a mind so clouded and jaded. I miss having no job and being able to feel reality. Feel my emotions and know what is best for me.  I know thats not an option i need a job. But. I need peace of mind. 

After this idk if i could handle or if i even need 3.5grams. Shit. 
Idk how i ever did this before. Maybe its getting older. Idk.
When i had a clear head i would think of anxiety and shit and just not understand it. But now i get it again.  Life just builds and becomes it.  Right underneath you

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Re: 1g [Re: NOUS333]
    #25997639 -

:orly:


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This section of the signature line has been intentionally left blank.

Remember to always courtesy flush

  we could all use a little more sunshine.

:shrug: yeah, she's funny and somewhat interesting.  not a beauty queen, but not bad lookin.  i'd feel quite honored to fuck janine garofalo. -tiny_rabid_birds

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Re: 1g [Re: Cannabischarlie]
    #25997737 -

Is your mind clouded? Or is it clear enough to finally realize the massive amounts of asanine shit we put up with on a day to day basis? This world isn't for us. This feux society of Yessir, No sir, is a cruel and fucked up place. But reality IS perspective.
If you choose to see this world as an overwhelming force, subduing you into a state of admitted weakness, then that IS your reality. I choose to percieve this life as a short glimpse into glory. A short ride that is ultimately controlled by me and my actions.
  A ride that is so amazingly intense in sadness and joy that the fact we are able to even comprehend what the fuck is going on is a miracle. It is peace and chaos, pleasure and suffering, wisdom and insanity. And it is fucking beautiful.
:heart:take care of yourself friend:heart:


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Keep it Secret.

Keep it Safe.

       

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Re: 1g [Re: Roshambastic21]
    #25997803 -

:goodburger:


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R

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Re: 1g [Re: Oceanshoree]
    #25997940 -

Yeah sometimes you'd be surprised how good a 1 gram dose can hit


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:niffla:

ACADEMY AWARD WINNING ACTOR
WG32 KILLED HOFFA
PROFESSIONAL BALL BUFFERER
WORST NEIGHBORHOOD YARD OF 2026 WINNER
OTD’S FORMER PRODIGAL SON
TODAY IS BEER DAY

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Re: 1g [Re: Roshambastic21]
    #25998794 -

Roshambastic21 said:
Is your mind clouded? Or is it clear enough to finally realize the massive amounts of asanine shit we put up with on a day to day basis? This world isn't for us. This feux society of Yessir, No sir, is a cruel and fucked up place. But reality IS perspective.
If you choose to see this world as an overwhelming force, subduing you into a state of admitted weakness, then that IS your reality. I choose to percieve this life as a short glimpse into glory. A short ride that is ultimately controlled by me and my actions.
  A ride that is so amazingly intense in sadness and joy that the fact we are able to even comprehend what the fuck is going on is a miracle. It is peace and chaos, pleasure and suffering, wisdom and insanity. And it is fucking beautiful.
:heart:take care of yourself friend:heart:


My mind is so clouded.

After reflecting for a while today i am really scared of tripping on a high dose like ive been planning on doing.  Today with all the thoughts that arose there were just many that brought issues to my attention which i dont have solutions for. And im afraid of being even more immersed in a situation like that where im faced with shit i dont know how to solve.

I guess theres no reason to say this here cause none of you can help im guessing but i had a overwhelming feeeling today at one point that i have stuff deep down inside me and deep within my relationships with family members that simply will never change. And these things really effect who i am and my emotional well being. Idk if ill ever transcend these issues.

I still want to try. I want to heal and have a clear mind and find my center again. So i probably will end up trying a higher dose soon. I am scared though. Mostly scared of just coming to the conclusion that i am broken and cant be fixed and am better off living life numb. Or maybe not broken but so afraid to face my own bullshit or unsure of how to,  i just decide not to.  Like i said in op    I overthink. 


Had to take a xanax before work today because i felt too child like lol. Even still .5 xanax didnt stop me from smiling at everyone hardcore. And this wouldnt be an issue except i never smile at work and people were wierded out by it. Thats another thing. If i ever did shake my depression id feel like i need a new job just because i dont know to be happy around ppl i work with. They are so used to me being apathetic and im used to it too.

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Re: 1g [Re: NOUS333]
    #25999128 -

Well what ever you decide on, I hope you can find peace friend. :heart: If you ever need a pal to talk to, someone who's never known you, thus decreasing that whole stress factor, message me. I don't mind conversing with another soul.


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Keep it Secret.

Keep it Safe.

       

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Re: 1g [Re: NOUS333]
    #25999137 -

It doesn’t take much to ‘recalibrate’, reminders are good.  I hear what you’re saying and agree, it sounds like you’re going over what you need to.  I don’t know what the answer is or if there is one...  just stuck in a head :shrug:


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Re: 1g [Re: Amanita86]
    #25999259 -

I've had strong level 3 trips from only 1g :rockon:


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The eyes are useless when the mind is blind

:trippinballs: Candyflipping :omgawesome:

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Unfolding Nature Shop: Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order

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