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Unfolding Nature Shop: Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order

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Girls show interest, so I show interest, then they kind of ignore me but not quite
    #25796352 -

lol

I'm a bit of a material loser, as in, I have no job or qualifications at 31, but I'm quite mature, friendly and ready to love a woman.

But do you like, need to have a bit more of a life going before some decent girl is going to want to join in on it?

I don't get it. There is, for instance, this girl at the local coffee store who made a point of smiling at me heaps and talking really nice to me etc.

So I saw her on FB because we have mutual friends (small town), messaged her and she messaged back, talked all about what we get up to in our free time etc.

Seemed pretty good to go.

Then I go to get coffee today and she just keeps her eyes down and doesn't even pay attention to me, not in a bad way just in a shy-ish way.

What did I do wrong? I've never had success with girls. I look pretty good, having lost a lot of weight I've got a good build now, I'm nice, I mean wtf? Let's have sex and make each other happy already.


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Hostile humankind
Can't you see you're fucking blind?

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Re: Girls show interest, so I show interest, then they kind of ignore me but not quite [Re: beforethedawn] * 1
    #25796354 -

She can sense , kind of smell your desperation.    This is not good ..  girls have noses like black bears when it comes to smelling men who are not sexually active.  I'm in the same boat

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Re: Girls show interest, so I show interest, then they kind of ignore me but not quite [Re: beforethedawn] * 1
    #25796401 -

beforethedawn said:
Let's have sex and make each other happy already.



That's the problem.

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Re: Girls show interest, so I show interest, then they kind of ignore me but not quite [Re: Fiery] * 2
    #25796402 -

Fiery said:
beforethedawn said:
Let's have sex and make each other happy already.



That's the problem.


Before you ask, the problem is that you just saw her, and looked her up on facebook, and want sex, and she just ignores you.

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Re: Girls show interest, so I show interest, then they kind of ignore me but not quite [Re: beforethedawn] * 1
    #25798239 -

You don't have any crazy shit you've said on your wall that you didn't delete?


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Re: Girls show interest, so I show interest, then they kind of ignore me but not quite [Re: yeah] * 1
    #25803125 -

It's her job to smile and to be friendly. Her income is literally base upon how friendly she is to customers. Perhaps with chatting with you on Facebook she realized you were into more than just a conversation "let's just have sex and make each other happy alreasy" and it's simply not what she wants. So now she feels weird when you come into her place of employment. Like most awkward situations, it will pass.

Also, yes. At 31, yes you should have a job at the very least if you want to attract a "decent" woman. Unless you are independently wealthy. If you're independently wealthy you should at least have interesting hobbies.


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"You are a ghost driving a meat coated skeleton made from stardust. What do you have to be scared of?"

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Re: Girls show interest, so I show interest, then they kind of ignore me but not quite [Re: beforethedawn]
    #25806070 -

beforethedawn said:
Then I go to get coffee today and she just keeps her eyes down and doesn't even pay attention to me, not in a bad way just in a shy-ish way.

What did I do wrong?


If you've already been writing her and she seemed fine with that, it probably can't hurt to just write her again and ask her if you've made things awkward for her at work.

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Re: Girls show interest, so I show interest, then they kind of ignore me but not quite [Re: psi]
    #25806154 -

Ooh boy have I got some crazy shit on my wall. I post about the universe.

hahaha...

Most of it is kind of literary though, I'm just being sort of poetic. Hopefully anyone who visits my wall understands that.

And oh, just so it's clear, what I meant by

lets have sex and make each other happy

I meant

lets have sex AND make each other happy

Y'know? I want a relationship, meaning, love.

And I didn't say anything about sex to her.

---

SO UPDATE

She smiled at me at work and acknowledged the conversation. She was very kind to me. Like these aren't customer service looks yo, I'm not totally daft.

If she looked at all her customers like that she'd be insane.

I don't know guys, just a lame ass white boy getting into the relationship game a bit late. Words of advice?


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Hostile humankind
Can't you see you're fucking blind?

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Re: Girls show interest, so I show interest, then they kind of ignore me but not quite [Re: beforethedawn] * 1
    #25806181 -

She might well have been shy on that one occasion because she's into you and now knows you're interested. Maybe next time you talk to her online, you can bring up the idea of hanging out and see what she says.

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Re: Girls show interest, so I show interest, then they kind of ignore me but not quite [Re: beforethedawn] * 1
    #25806193 -

beforethedawn said:
Ooh boy have I got some crazy shit on my wall. I post about the universe.

hahaha...

Most of it is kind of literary though, I'm just being sort of poetic. Hopefully anyone who visits my wall understands that.

And oh, just so it's clear, what I meant by

lets have sex and make each other happy

I meant

lets have sex AND make each other happy

Y'know? I want a relationship, meaning, love.

And I didn't say anything about sex to her.

---

SO UPDATE

She smiled at me at work and acknowledged the conversation. She was very kind to me. Like these aren't customer service looks yo, I'm not totally daft.

If she looked at all her customers like that she'd be insane.

I don't know guys, just a lame ass white boy getting into the relationship game a bit late. Words of advice?


You are reading way too much into her looks. When she is at work she has an obligation to be nice to customers and make their experience enjoyable. To someone like you who, no offense, doesn't understand women and relationships, these actions and/or looks can seem like she may be flirting with you. But in reality she is just doing her job and the reason she wasn't giving you eye contact after you added her on facebook is because she was getting stalker alerts thinking you are possibly obsessed with her now.

She has you on facebook now and she obviously knows you are interested in her. So quit going for coffee for a few weeks and don't talk to her on facebook at all. If she is interested in pursuing any type of relationship with you she will notice your absence and reach out to you, if she doesn't then you can rest assured that you got the wrong impression from her.

Side tip: Most women don't just decide to "have sex and move into a relationship" with random people that come in for coffee. A guy might do that, but women move toward those steps a lot slower than men do because their emotions need to be engaged first.


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Re: Girls show interest, so I show interest, then they kind of ignore me but not quite [Re: FruitOfLife]
    #25807047 -

Thanks I appreciate that.

More advice/info welcome.

Yes I humbly and totally agree I have no idea about relationships and women.

However, she would pause for like 3-5 seconds and smile at me in this really warm way. Like, I understand where you're getting the context but while I don't know anything about women I'm not stoopid and wouldn't have made this thread if she wasn't stepping outside the usual gestures etc. for a coffee house.


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Hostile humankind
Can't you see you're fucking blind?

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Re: Girls show interest, so I show interest, then they kind of ignore me but not quite [Re: beforethedawn] * 2
    #25808285 -

Honestly dude, don't try and pick up a chick while she is working. You say she smiles at you, etc, well she is working and that's pretty much the entire point. Just because a chick smiles at you and says a few words doesn't mean she is interested in you or even being friends with you.

Especially if you aren't working or even trying to get a job. That conversation is going to come up real fast and it's a red flag. What would you even say to someone? *Nah man, just chillin in life....

If you truly insist, you could always ask her out for a drink and the worst that could happen is she says no and you walk away defeated.

To be honest, it sounds like you need to work on yourself and find some ambitions and goals in life. How are you living? Do you pay for rent? Do you live alone or with your parents?

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Re: Girls show interest, so I show interest, then they kind of ignore me but not quite [Re: Uzziel]
    #25809749 -

I'm same age as OP, just got a PT job and am about to start helping my parents with rent again (been out of work and they let me hold on to my money) and also get back into combat sports.

I'm studying IT right now, and I feel like all that isn't good enough to get a gf. Even if she has some dumbfuck 4 year degree that didn't take any work to get she will expect you to be as "educated" as she is or make more money.

Maybe I'm wrong, maybe there's plenty of exceptions and I just need to keep looking :cookiemonster:


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Re: Girls show interest, so I show interest, then they kind of ignore me but not quite [Re: yeah] * 1
    #25809946 -

Don't hit on women while they are working.

Women can smile at you without it meaning they want sex.

In fact, your server is generally required to smile at you in the service industry.  You are not being flirted with.

Seeking people out on facebook and messaging them is creepy.  She would give you her number if she really wanted to interact outside of work, fact.

You say  "Like these aren't customer service looks yo, I'm not totally daft."

And immediately follow with "I don't know guys, just a lame ass white boy getting into the relationship game a bit late. Words of advice?"

Yes, my advice is don't hit on the woman working at the counter.  Sounds like what you need is to look into some dating apps to find women with similar direct-results in mind.  That way there is less room for communication error about what your relationship is.  If you are indeed new at this, then you are totally daft.  That's okay too, you just need to admit that to yourself and not read into things not verbal.


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🅃🄴🄰🄼 🄸🄷🄾🄿


New to cultivation or the shroomery?  Observe the hitchhiker's guide

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Shroomery



Smellyhobbit said:
"Wiping a needle with isopropyl after flame sterilization is like shitting after you wipe your ass."

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Re: Girls show interest, so I show interest, then they kind of ignore me but not quite [Re: Mr Piggy]
    #25811882 -

So facebook messaging is a no-no?

Why did she reply and have a long conversation?

When does the opportunity come up to talk to her outside of facebook?

She was glad I messaged her.

I understand the service industry. There are like 10 other chicks that work there, none of them were smiling like that.

I'm not lonely and desperate, I understand human gestures?

Not ditching advice here, I'm reading and thinking, but she's into me, let's start there.


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Hostile humankind
Can't you see you're fucking blind?

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Re: Girls show interest, so I show interest, then they kind of ignore me but not quite [Re: beforethedawn] * 2
    #25811912 -

you're not gonna get through to anyone in this thread no  matter how clear you explain the situation, people on the internet just love to make assumptions about others when it comes to relationships/women


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Re: Girls show interest, so I show interest, then they kind of ignore me but not quite [Re: beforethedawn]
    #25811919 -

In the general case, the way you contacted her was a bad idea with a high chance of you coming off creepy, given that she knows you as a customer. But it sounds like the gamble may have worked out in this case.

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Re: Girls show interest, so I show interest, then they kind of ignore me but not quite [Re: psi]
    #25812364 -

Yea dude, you need a bit more than nothing going for you to attract someone today. The aimless bum thing works in your young 20's, but you sound lonely now. Date a different girl and start bringing her in for coffee. See if waitress gets jealous?

I agree with the others saying that it's her job to be friendly. She's probably just better at it than the 10 other waitresses. Even if she is nicer to you than other customers, that doesn't really mean anything. More likely she just senses you appreciate it and will buy into it more than others. Maybe she's trying to make another customer jealous by being flirtatious with you.

You're not the only daft lonely person though. She probably gets added and messaged by dozens of dudes a month. How many fb friends are we talking? Maybe you had potential as a mysterious customer but didn't make the cut when she saw you have little going for you.

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Re: Girls show interest, so I show interest, then they kind of ignore me but not quite [Re: Icon]
    #25812479 -

Yeah I could help you easily.

But not going to.

For 1,

You recommended someone to use meth in the Physical and Mental Well Being Forum.


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I didn't draw this.

"Hope your day is as wonderful, loving, and kind as you are."
:heart:

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Re: Girls show interest, so I show interest, then they kind of ignore me but not quite [Re: life is good]
    #25813250 -

Aw come on, depression is disasterous. Meth isn't a horror if you can control yourself. That said, yeah, pretty risky. But meth has bailed me out of lots of depressive phases. They used to use amphetamines for depression, and today they use lesser stimulants in the USA.

Bit pessimistic there Icon.


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Hostile humankind
Can't you see you're fucking blind?

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Unfolding Nature Shop: Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order

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