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How do you meet good people?
    #25572798 -

I had the last of my family die last summer and now more than ever I feel really alone. It's to the point I don't like to trip because I have really bad experiences because of it. The trip just sits there and makes fun of me for not having friends basically then fucks up my confidence to try.
I made a big leap out of my comfort zone and decided to go to college. I learned very quickly college is nothing like highschool. In college no one likes to talk to each other and everyone has extremely developed relationships. I feel really unprepared because I have no friends in life,  litterallly none. My neighbor is about the closest person I can call a friend but we get along because we would both probably die if not, or loose alot of animals to the bears. Anyways I figured over time and forcing myself to be around people it would sort its self out but it doesnt. Before everyone goes off on going to bars and parties, those are none existent. Well bars are but there is usually a few guys chilling in them and any women that walk in are pretty old for me. I don't drink either and get chastised alot for it.  Im an extreme alcoholic and will always get black out drunk and I'm a terrible person when I drink,  I fight people,  end up in jail. I don't want to drink at all and people seam to get upset that I choose not to, or they think I'm not fun to hang with. So if bars are not fun, or holding opportunity, where else can I meat people? Parties are almost never happen unless I bring a fuck load of drugs some where and give them out. I dont like that because people then will only talk to me because of that then get upset at me for not giving them drugs.
I'm told I need to put more effort into holding a friend ship.  People say I need to be more lenient of people stealing from me and I need to give out free drugs as a way on my end of the friendship to show I'm worth being a friend to people. Someone actually told me that in face to face reality and its really fucking with me. It sounds completly insane yet on the same note I have no one to talk to. I guess in a relationship I look for someone who respects me, wants to hang out for other reasons besides drugs,  has similar interests as me,  and doesn't steal from me. I know that's quite a bit to ask for but I thought I'd find atleast 1 person that could fill that. 

I won't go with out saying I'm a pretty fucked up person that no one wants to be around. Anytime someone back stabbs me I freak out. This guy trying to be my friend tried to steal my gas $ I keep in my car.  I caught him in the middle of trying to go it and lost my temper and beat him up.  I use to be a drug dealer and quit. That really fucked up my chances of making friends because people only see you as a plug.  Than when I stopped plugging people got upset and harassed me.  This kid ruined my chances of talking to this lady when I was in the middle of introducing myself when he came up and started saying a bunch of fucked Shit.  He was basically pissed I would hook him up and he ranted about me being a looser and what not.  After a while I lost my temper (he said I was a bitch that will amount to nothing because you quit being a drug dealer) when he asked me for drugs when I said I will fuck you up if you ask me for drugs again. He asked me so I punched him until he started crying, I told h to call himself a bitch,  he wouldn't and I smashed his face into a car wheel until he started screaming. I made him call him self a bitch while crying and on camera. To top it off I pissed on him after that.  Than I get called the fucked up person because after telling someone to not harass me anymore, and they harassed and got their ass beat,  I'm the bad person.

I just want people to respect my word and who I am. I don't want to support someone's drug addiction and don't like that everyone I meet is a piece of shit. If I see you are not a good person to be around when we meet, I choose to have you around me. Yet when everysingle person I meet lies,  cheats,  steals,  and abuses me, I don't want to talk to anyone. Though more and more in the last few weeks my drug escape has been a nightmare. I can't get my social fix through drugs anymore. How to I go out and meet people when I want to take school seriously (I learned it's not cool to take school seriously, people really think youre a looser). People don't like to hang out at parties, the college pit on litterallly no social events,  it's just go to school than go home. This Shit is really fucking with my head, I can't tell if this is how the world works and I'm just a really fucked up individual, or if the world is fucked up and I'm in the right.

I guess what I'm saying is I want to develop 2 things. A good social circle of people that respect me, and a relationship with a women at some point. How do I?


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Re: How do you meet good people? [Re: RaRaRasputin]
    #25572803 -

I just realized how long that is. Also I guess I don't need the women one because I know I'm way to not so good looking to talk to women.

Most people make this face when they first see me :horrified:

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Re: How do you meet good people? [Re: RaRaRasputin]
    #25572830 -

start playing/practicing a musical instrument. great way to pass the time alone and fun to jam with other music peoples.


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🐴:poop:
hpoo or die

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Re: How do you meet good people? [Re: split_by_nine]
    #25572858 -

I want to learn the citar really bad but that is what I was told is a luxury purchase. Also how would I meet other music people? I barely know a few people that play guitar let alone with other people.

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Re: How do you meet good people? [Re: RaRaRasputin] * 1
    #25572952 -

RaRaRasputin said:
I want to learn the citar really bad but that is what I was told is a luxury purchase.


maybe when they said luxury they were talking about the notoriety that comes along with owning a badass sitar!



Quote:
Also how would I meet other music people?.


go to music shops, instrument shops, concerts, bars, local music scene, etc. you can google any of that and find something worthwhile in your area


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🐴:poop:
hpoo or die

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Re: How do you meet good people? [Re: split_by_nine]
    #25572959 -

also the staff at said destinations are usually very cool too and can set you on the path to meeting a whole new world! or atleast point you in some cool directions


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🐴:poop:
hpoo or die

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Re: How do you meet good people? [Re: split_by_nine]
    #25572972 -

We don't have a music shop where I'm from.  There's one for brass instruments and a few other kinds but not the chill music shop you imagine. Some bars I'm the summer time will have a band play and I'll usually watch them play, though the scene is still not the best.... I'm sure there are better music style bars out there but not where I live. 

I really wish I could learn though. Listening to the Beatles growing up made me fascinated by the beautiful sounds. How would I learn? Youtube?

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Re: How do you meet good people? [Re: RaRaRasputin]
    #25573001 -

RaRaRasputin said:
We don't have a music shop where I'm from.


where's that mate?

RaRaRasputin said:
I really wish I could learn though. Listening to the Beatles growing up made me fascinated by the beautiful sounds. How would I learn? Youtube?



hell yes youtube lol there are literally millions of free lessons and how-to's (not just songs, but a plethora of info on good gear vs. okay gear, equipment set-up ergonomics, practice tips, etc.)

also tablature is pretty easy to understand..

plus plenty of music theory videos online if you wana go the traditional route.


and shoutout to all beatles fans! first song i ever learned to play on drums was "and your bird can sing" off of 1966's REVOLVER!!


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🐴:poop:
hpoo or die

Edited by split_by_nine (10/28/18 12:44 AM)

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Re: How do you meet good people? [Re: split_by_nine]
    #25573006 -

also you could buy instructional books from a music shop or online. or take private lessons.. they are not very expensive once a week or twice.


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🐴:poop:
hpoo or die

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Re: How do you meet good people? [Re: split_by_nine]
    #25573013 -

also craigslist has a "musicians" section. i met one of my best friends that way.. hahaha

ps. he is an incredible guitar player and recently restored an old sitar he rescued!


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🐴:poop:
hpoo or die

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Re: How do you meet good people? [Re: split_by_nine]
    #25573053 -

I doubt I have any local sitar musicians. I currently live in a town of 1300 and my home home is under 800 for population. There's just not much. This is the first time I've been able to drive to Walmart or target in under 2 hours from where I live. They built the first DQ in my home town last year, only fast food restaurant in the whole town (of 800).

So it's not like there's even much on Craigslist in my area to begin with. I know too many people that dont even own a laptop, flip phone at best.

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Re: How do you meet good people? [Re: RaRaRasputin]
    #25573073 -

maybe move to the nearest big city for a few months or years to have more opportunities at your disposal. you can certainly find work and a flat. everything is possible in the big cities. me personally, im growing tired of the cities. i want to live in isolation haha


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🐴:poop:
hpoo or die

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Re: How do you meet good people? [Re: split_by_nine]
    #25573217 -

I'm currently living in a "city" and this is all the bigger I'll go. I have a ranch with animals I am not leaving.  Honestly people don't understand how nice living in the middle of nowhere.

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Re: How do you meet good people? [Re: RaRaRasputin]
    #25573517 -

so, one good way to meet people and improve your social circle is not living out in the middle of nowhere :lol:..

I think your best bet is to not drink because apparently it turns you into a goddamned monster. maybe start taking some college courses - thats how i met a lot of people. dont talk to any college mates anymore but still friends with a few on FB and more importantly it led to my career which is pretty cool and comes with some cool coworkers. find a hobby, and stick to it, youll eventually make friends within the realm of any hobby so long as you arent a complete douchebag. Also, being aggressive, and fighting to hash out your feelings is like the fast track ticket to having nobody ever want to hang out around you. next time you feel wronged, use your words to solve your problems and not your fists.

these arent criticisms, merely my observations of what could work to improve your social circle and continue to build friendships moving forward.


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notapillow said: "you are going about this endeavor all wrong. clear your mind of useless fear and concern. buy the ticket, take the ride, and all that.... "

ChrisWho said: "It's all about the journey, not the destination."

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Re: How do you meet good people? [Re: Mickalopagus]
    #25573944 -

Quote:
People say I need to be more lenient of people stealing from me and I need to give out free drugs as a way on my end of the friendship to show I'm worth being a friend to people. Someone actually told me that in face to face reality


That's gold. 

You sound like quite the guy.  I'd probably like you.

Quote:
This kid ruined my chances of talking to this lady when I was in the middle of introducing myself when he came up and started saying a bunch of fucked Shit.  He was basically pissed I would hook him up and he ranted about me being a looser and what not.  After a while I lost my temper (he said I was a bitch that will amount to nothing because you quit being a drug dealer) when he asked me for drugs when I said I will fuck you up if you ask me for drugs again. He asked me so I punched him until he started crying, I told h to call himself a bitch,  he wouldn't and I smashed his face into a car wheel until he started screaming. I made him call him self a bitch while crying and on camera. To top it off I pissed on him after that.


  That can't be reality.  You're writing a script right?  It's a mighty fine one, buddy.  I'd see that movie.

:yougoodjob:


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Either you repeat the same conventional doctrines everybody is saying, or else you say something true, and it will sound like it's from Neptune.  -Noam Chomsky

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Re: How do you meet good people? [Re: VroomerMcZoomers]
    #25574861 -

VroomerMcZoomers said:
Quote:
People say I need to be more lenient of people stealing from me and I need to give out free drugs as a way on my end of the friendship to show I'm worth being a friend to people. Someone actually told me that in face to face reality


That's gold. 

You sound like quite the guy.  I'd probably like you.

Quote:
This kid ruined my chances of talking to this lady when I was in the middle of introducing myself when he came up and started saying a bunch of fucked Shit.  He was basically pissed I would hook him up and he ranted about me being a looser and what not.  After a while I lost my temper (he said I was a bitch that will amount to nothing because you quit being a drug dealer) when he asked me for drugs when I said I will fuck you up if you ask me for drugs again. He asked me so I punched him until he started crying, I told h to call himself a bitch,  he wouldn't and I smashed his face into a car wheel until he started screaming. I made him call him self a bitch while crying and on camera. To top it off I pissed on him after that.


  That can't be reality.  You're writing a script right?  It's a mighty fine one, buddy.  I'd see that movie.

:yougoodjob:


That was suppose to say would, would,  fucking quite auto correcting wouldnt into would.  Just as the fucking apostrophe god damn it why the fuck am I smarter than a god damn computer at spelling that doesn't make sense!

I wish my life was a movie. Most of the Pepe in real life don't believe me,  then when they see the truth that it is real they go running for the hills. I don't get it,  I stop selling drugs to better myself and I get a bunch of pissed off pot heads.  Not even amphetamines, literally someone who hadn't smoked weed that day was freaking out at me. Is my life fake?

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Re: How do you meet good people? [Re: Mickalopagus]
    #25574906 -

mick said:
so, one good way to meet people and improve your social circle is not living out in the middle of nowhere :lol:..

I think your best bet is to not drink because apparently it turns you into a goddamned monster. maybe start taking some college courses - thats how i met a lot of people. dont talk to any college mates anymore but still friends with a few on FB and more importantly it led to my career which is pretty cool and comes with some cool coworkers. find a hobby, and stick to it, youll eventually make friends within the realm of any hobby so long as you arent a complete douchebag. Also, being aggressive, and fighting to hash out your feelings is like the fast track ticket to having nobody ever want to hang out around you. next time you feel wronged, use your words to solve your problems and not your fists.

these arent criticisms, merely my observations of what could work to improve your social circle and continue to build friendships moving forward.


1 I don't drink and it pisses me off that I don't want to drink alcohol at all and people still tell me that I shouldn't drink. Then the people that don't know why I don't drink tell me I need to drink.  Fuck my life.  Also I don't get how you get people not to fuck with you. People look at me and think because I have no one to have my back,  it makes me an easy target to fuck with.  I tell people to not steal from me and when they do I'm suppose to be OK with it? I don't take people threatening my life very lightly, I've almost been killed (not died,  killed as in some other human being tried to murder me) multiple times. One of them I woke up in a ditch in the middle of nowhere and had to crawl miles along the highway before a car drove by,  I got help from them. I have really bad trust issues because my own grandpa wanted me dead for as long as I knew him. My mom has tried to kill me multiple times after she went coocoo for coco puffs. So when someone tries to steal from me that is a trust issue,  if they are gunna take my money than what stops them from taking my life?

Also the classes I'm trying,  I'm involved in alot of welding and machining classes, it's a little difficult because on average in a class of 12 there are only 4 that are under the age of 30. The age gap makes it difficult and most everyone has a family and does not care to know me because they are already occupied. The few kids my age are really fucking Wierd people. All of them are home schooled (besides me)  and the litterallly will walk away mid sentence from you due to some social anxiety or other social bull shot. It's kinda dumb and I'm still assessing on how to fix that one, im thinking of trying to just follow them when they walk away but it might be a little pushy.

Lastly I have lame hobbies, I like to grow mushrooms of all sorts, I've yet to find another active mush cult people in the face to face. I hope one day I can meet another mycologist. I have other dumb hobbies like fly fishing and horse back riding but not to many people find that interesting. I learned in the world of fishing that fly fishing is the dumbest,  hardest, and most useless of all types of fishing. It's the only fishing I like so that one is my choice.  The horse back riding could maybe work,  bit most people think out doors shit is gay, why ride horses around when you can just sit on your phone on shroomery right?  Haha burned myself as usual.

I will stick to them and hope they develope into things, alot of them are quite socially isolating (out doors stuff) just because of the nature of that hobby.
I'll try and be nicer to people actually, next time some one steals bud or cash I'll ask them why they need it then give them some more. How do I keep them from just viewing me as a free something station? Is is that what friendships are,  free loading off off each other? Everyone mutually agrees on ripping each other off and back Stabbing. It's complicated but I think I get it.

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Re: How do you meet good people? [Re: RaRaRasputin]
    #25575036 -

Damn man.  No I'm glad you don't put up with the shit.  In the same way.  I can't let people steal or be disrespectful and as a result I have let almost all friends go.  I've gotten better with getting violent, but its justified sometimes.  Some just need an ass whooping man.  Its just how it is.  I've been on the receiving end myself a few times, though many of those were getting jumped for no reason, which has happened several times in my life where its 3 or 4 on one.... I did deserve it once though, but they went overboard and broke my arm by swinging my guitar at it while one held me still. 
I live in Oklahoma in a town of 20k , but used to live in the bigger city nearby of almost 500k.... And still I have almost no local friends.  I think it is part of my personality, I am too intense or serious, and no one really cares about the music I like or the shows I watch.... Im 33 and have 4 kids so don't have time for friends or hanging out, and don't really like fucking off wasting my time when my kids need me for stuff, and thankfully I like spending time with my kids most anyway.. But I still would like to have a friend or two that I like to hang out with.  My wife is off doing her own thing and can't be reached or trusted right now, especially the people she is around.  So its just me and the kids.  I don't see many women interested in a guy like that.... But I bet she's out there.... I have a couple cool coworkers, but we don't have a whole lot in common.  I'm about to join an apprenticeship program soon and meet some new people.... But usually other people my age are so different than me, though sometime I will meet someone on a similar path and ill be able to relate....

Anyway I can relate some to your post .  I hope for you the best.  Btw your hobbies aren't lame at all, theyre good ones.  I really think your location is limiting you the most.  That's seriously pretty damn small.  I understand about the animals.  I take care of 20 chickens 4 goats and a horse for my boss, these animals live out back of where I work.. So they are not mine but I am the one who gives them 90% of upkeep.  Its a fair amount of work, at least 10 hours a week.  What animals do you have and what time do you spend?  Do you have a hand who can take care of them so you can get away for a while.  Or, are you even interested in doing so?
I imagine the chance of meeting appropriate friends local is pretty small.  But don't question your standards, theyre not flawed.  One should be choosy with their friends.


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This was an experiment.

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Re: How do you meet good people? [Re: DoneKildatReason]
    #25575326 -

I’m not sure good people are interested in associating with someone who resorts to physical violence so often.


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NotSheekle said
“if I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to her”

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Re: How do you meet good people? [Re: koods]
    #25575373 -

koods said:
I’m not sure good people are interested in associating with someone who resorts to physical violence so often.


that is certainly true.

side note:  i used to work with developmentally disabled adults and many of whom were violent and unpredictable. 9/10 times it was thier way of communicating a want/need and it was usually because of something extremely basic like hunger or toilet.  you, OP, appear to possess normal levels of adult cognitive ability and are more than capable of making meaningful, long-lasting relationships.

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