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Just ordered a purple neon dildo! * 5
    #24973654 -

I have these big glass jars that i used to store weed in that i dont use any more so yesterday i ordered a neon purple dildo and im gonna put it in one of the jars and write "PENIS IN A BOTTLE" on the lid in sharpie and bring it to parties as a parody to the christina agulara song genie in a bottle. I'm pretty sure the dildo has a suction cup on it so I can just stick it in the middle of the jar and have it bounce around in there kinda like a bobblehead.

My plan is, I'm gonna bring it in a backpack along with a piece of paper that says the ABC's on it to a party. At one point, i'm gonna announce that I have an important speech to give, and reach into my backpack, pull out the penis in a bottle, hand it to the person next to me, and begin reciting the ABC's off the paper - while acting like the penis in a bottle I just gave someone is no big deal, and saying things like, "excuse me, but i'm trying to give this speech" and "don't worry about it", when they question me about the dildo jar thing.

When I get to the end of the ABC's speech, i'm gonna outright deny that the penis in a bottle was ever in my possession. Blame it all on the person who I gave it to, and start accusing them of bringing it to the party


Yes, I plan on literally doing this in real life. Any thoughts, questions, or concerns?


--------------------
"Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods
"I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago
"you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard
"The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist
"Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft
"or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees

R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16

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Re: Just ordered a purple neon dildo! [Re: Sheekle] * 14
    #24973691 -

Sounds like it woulda been funny when i was 16 :shrug:

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Re: Just ordered a purple neon dildo! [Re: WyoMX] * 3
    #24973695 -

Dang WyoMX, sounds like you really schooled me good!


--------------------
"Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods
"I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago
"you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard
"The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist
"Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft
"or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees

R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16

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Re: Just ordered a purple neon dildo! [Re: Sheekle] * 2
    #24973701 -

What can possibly go wrong? :laugh:

Just do it, YOLO, fun is fun.


--------------------
Omnicyclion.org
personal empowerment for the world

:nyan: LGBT - Love God Before Tradition :nyan:

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Re: Just ordered a purple neon dildo! [Re: Sheekle] * 7
    #24973702 -

Be sure to wipe all poop off it when you're done using it and before you bottle it. :tongue2:

:cuteshit: . . . :peace:


--------------------

"All mushrooms are edible; but some only once." Croatian proverb. BTW ...
  Have You Rated Ythans Mom Yet ?? ... :taser:  ... HERE'S HOW ... (be nice) .  :mod: ... :peace:

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Re: Just ordered a purple neon dildo! [Re: Sheekle]
    #24973703 -

You should discreetly hand it to someone before the announcement. That way no one sees it in your possession.

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Re: Just ordered a purple neon dildo! [Re: WyoMX] * 2
    #24973708 -

WyoMX said:




--------------------
Omnicyclion.org
personal empowerment for the world

:nyan: LGBT - Love God Before Tradition :nyan:

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Re: Just ordered a purple neon dildo! [Re: Sheekle]
    #24973709 -

Sheekle said:
..When I get to the end of the ABC's speech, i'm gonna outright deny that the penis in a bottle was ever in my possession. Blame it all on the person who I gave it to, and start accusing them of bringing it to the party





works well enough in politics. :thumbup:


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Re: Just ordered a purple neon dildo! [Re: Sheekle]
    #24973710 -

If you could somehow make it so that when you OPEN the jar, the chorus to Genie in a Bottle starts playing...then I'd go forward with that.

You could even throw in your own voice-over, replacing "Genie" with "Penis."


--------------------

ga ga ga eets eets how you gone be mad on vacation?
MONICA COULDN'T TELL TIME UNTIL SHE WAS 13

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Re: Just ordered a purple neon dildo! [Re: 1234go] * 2
    #24973712 -

Sheekle wants to milk his prostate. We needed to know that, right guys?


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Re: Just ordered a purple neon dildo! [Re: Patlal] * 1
    #24973717 -

Don't be a prude.

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Re: Just ordered a purple neon dildo! [Re: Patlal] * 5
    #24973722 -

Patlal said:
Sheekle wants to milk his prostate. We needed to know that, right guys?



You came into a Purple Neon Dildo thread and now try to make old boys jokes about it.

What did you expect? Go name your cat :wink:


--------------------
Omnicyclion.org
personal empowerment for the world

:nyan: LGBT - Love God Before Tradition :nyan:

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Re: Just ordered a purple neon dildo! [Re: Asante] * 1
    #24973829 -

Asante said:
Patlal said:
Sheekle wants to milk his prostate. We needed to know that, right guys?



You came into a Purple Neon Dildo thread and now try to make old boys jokes about it.

What did you expect? Go name your cat :wink:


:okay:


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Re: Just ordered a purple neon dildo! [Re: Patlal]
    #24973901 -

Neon is orange. Purple neon is an oxymoron

You got a purple argon dildo



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NotSheekle said
“if I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to her”

Edited by koods (02/07/18 01:20 PM)

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Re: Just ordered a purple neon dildo! [Re: koods]
    #24974001 -

did they really offer u ice cream


--------------------
"Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods
"I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago
"you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard
"The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist
"Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft
"or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees

R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16

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Re: Just ordered a purple neon dildo! [Re: Sheekle]
    #24974049 -

Sounds like a solid plan.

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Re: Just ordered a purple neon dildo! [Re: Sheekle]
    #24974058 -

Sheekle said:
did they really offer u ice cream


Not ice cream.

The deal was if you skinny dipped everyday of the week the camp counselors took you out for a frappe, which is New Hampshirese for milkshake.

I participated more to see my fellow campers naked than for the milkshake. Good ol' Camp Wachusett!

Edited by koods (02/07/18 02:06 PM)

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Re: Just ordered a purple neon dildo! [Re: koods]
    #24974074 -

wtf thats demented, how old were u kids versus the counselers


--------------------
"Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods
"I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago
"you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard
"The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist
"Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft
"or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees

R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16

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Re: Just ordered a purple neon dildo! [Re: koods]
    #24974077 -

That seems weird. Skinny dipping is cool though.

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Re: Just ordered a purple neon dildo! [Re: Sheekle]
    #24974080 -

Sheekle said:
wtf thats demented, how old were u kids versus the counselers


The kids were like maybe 8-13 the counselors 14-18 generally


--------------------
NotSheekle said
“if I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to her”

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