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Adopted?
    #21013045 -

I was wanting to hear from anyone who was adopted... how do you feel about it? Are you ok with it? Do you know your birth parents or wish you did? Do you feel like something is missing?

I don't mean to be rude asking the questions but I'm genuinely interested since I'm considering putting my baby up for adoption, I don't want to ruin it's life, I just want it to have the things I can't give it like a stable family.

I'm just asking these questions to see if this is the right option for BOTH of us. I've talked to a few friends but I feel like they hold back a lot to spare my feelings. Brutal honesty will be appreciated.

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Re: Adopted? [Re: chicksgrowtoo]
    #21013073 -

i am 31.. adopted at birth. the closest i have came to finding them is posting on here how to go about it. but nothing ever came of that.

the only downfalls is when you get asked at the doctors.. any family history of this??? and ya gotta go through the gig.

on the other hand, a friend of mine she was adopted as well at birth.. then after she turned into a teenager she was kicked out cause her adopted parents didnt want to deal with her any more. she was a little bit of a mess with drugs and what not.  she wound up being a stripper.

i am pretty successful... it didnt ruin my life in any way shape or form.

do whats best man .


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Re: Adopted? [Re: rackem]
    #21013112 -

I'm terrified that something like that will happen and I won't be able to do anything about it. I was wanting to do an open adoption where the child would be able to see me and know who I am but in a way I feel that makes me just as bad as it's absent father...only coming around on christmas and birthdays kind of seems like a shitty, selfish move.

It would break my heart to find out that it wishes it never knew me one day. I say it because Idk if it's a boy or girl btw.

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Re: Adopted? [Re: rackem]
    #21013129 -

I have two sisters that my mother gave up for adoption and one of them does have a lot of insecurities about being "given away" but the other sister feels like she had a better life than she would've had otherwise. My mother was very young when she started having kids, so she didn't have much of a choice in the matter. (3 kids by the time she was 16) You just have to do what feels like the right thing for yourself and the child.


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:mushroom2::heart::ganja::bliss:

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Re: Adopted? [Re: chicksgrowtoo] * 1
    #21013131 -

There is a very strong chance that you're not going to want to give it up for adoption after you have him/her.

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Re: Adopted? [Re: chicksgrowtoo] * 1
    #21013145 -

chicksgrowtoo said:
I'm terrified that something like that will happen and I won't be able to do anything about it. I was wanting to do an open adoption where the child would be able to see me and know who I am but in a way I feel that makes me just as bad as it's absent father...only coming around on christmas and birthdays kind of seems like a shitty, selfish move.

It would break my heart to find out that it wishes it never knew me one day. I say it because Idk if it's a boy or girl btw.


I think if you give an infant up for adoption you should probably just go away


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Re: Adopted? [Re: Confucian]
    #21013200 -

I'm so aware of that, you have no idea.... and yeah that's what I was thinking zappa

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Re: Adopted? [Re: chicksgrowtoo]
    #21013229 -

We adopted two strays and loved them like the other kids.  It's all good.


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There is no truer calling for mankind than that of true conservatism.

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Re: Adopted? [Re: chicksgrowtoo]
    #21013235 -

If it were me I'd go for an abortion over adoption.

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Re: Adopted? [Re: Confucian]
    #21013264 -

That's great mpd! I'm glad they found a loving home.

I was opting for abortion at first but it's pretty hard after seeing it's little heart beat, I just couldn't go through with it.

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Re: Adopted? [Re: chicksgrowtoo]
    #21013321 -

I know a few friends who were adopted. They were always the crazy friend. The person who acted out and whatnot. But so did a lot of other kids truthfully.

Later in life they were always trying to find their biological parents. One thought he found his mom, but later found out she was not the mother.

It may be easier these days to keep in touch with biological parents with social media and all. They could be far away and you could still converse with them without having to actually be in their presence. It sounds kind of harsh when I reread what I wrote, but in a way maybe that is OK.

They would at least know the parent instead of never knowing and always having the question of why? Ya know...?

I have a 4 year old son, and I know it is difficult to raise these crazy kids. I didn't read too much of why you posted this, but I imagine you may be pondering adoption.

It is life changing that is for certain. For all parties involved...especially the child.


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You learn something new everyday, so be sure you learn something from it.

Edited by Jack yo Self foo (12/22/14 07:54 PM)

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Re: Adopted? [Re: chicksgrowtoo]
    #21013335 -

Whatever decision you make, I will stand behind you.


--------------------
"Cosmic Love is absolutelely ruthless and highly indifferent:
it teaches its lessons whether you like/dislike them or not."

John C. Lily

 

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Re: Adopted? [Re: chicksgrowtoo] * 1
    #21013367 -

chicksgrowtoo said:
I was wanting to hear from anyone who was adopted... how do you feel about it? Are you ok with it? Do you know your birth parents or wish you did? Do you feel like something is missing?

I don't mean to be rude asking the questions but I'm genuinely interested since I'm considering putting my baby up for adoption, I don't want to ruin it's life, I just want it to have the things I can't give it like a stable family.

I'm just asking these questions to see if this is the right option for BOTH of us. I've talked to a few friends but I feel like they hold back a lot to spare my feelings. Brutal honesty will be appreciated.


Do whatever you feel will be best for both you and the kid.
Don't let people try to guilt you into keeping a child that isn't going to be in a stable home.


--------------------
Yes this is tymo - I just changed my name

Have you ever had a dream that you were so sure was real? What if you were unable to awake from that dream? How would you know the difference between that dream world and the real world?


There is NOTHING better than feeling that warm dissociative fuzz creeping up your body from IM K
Something abut that anaesthetic rush... :inlove:

Qualitative Research Chemical Effects and Experiences
The Wonderful World of Methoxetamine
The 3-Meo-PCP Chapters, Part One

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Re: Adopted? [Re: Jack yo Self foo]
    #21013403 -

Jack yo Self foo said:
I know a few friends who were adopted. They were always the crazy friend. The person who acted out and whatnot. But so did a lot of other kids truthfully.

Later in life they were always trying to find their biological parents. One thought he found his mom, but later found out she was not the mother.

It may be easier these days to keep in touch with biological parents with social media and all. They could be far away and you could still converse with them without having to actually be in their presence. It sounds kind of harsh when I reread what I wrote, but in a way maybe that is OK.

They would at least know the parent instead of never knowing and always having the question of why? Ya know...?

I have a 4 year old son, and I know it is difficult to raise these crazy kids. I didn't read too much of why you posted this, but I imagine you may be pondering adoption.

It is life changing that is for certain. For all parties involved...especially the child.


Harsh truth is what I was looking for, I know the rules are different in every state but I wonder if with an open adoption I could give the adopting family my information in case the kid wanted to know who I was... then it would be the kids choice if it wanted to know who I am.

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Re: Adopted? [Re: nicechrisman] * 1
    #21013413 -

nicechrisman said:
Whatever decision you make, I will stand behind you.


That means so much to me :hug:

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Re: Adopted? [Re: chicksgrowtoo]
    #21013440 -

This life is long and arduous. At some point we all ask ourselves that series of questions that you yourself have asked. There will most definitely be a point in time that they will want to know you...to meet you even, and ask you some questions of their own.

When that time will be, and if you are still around to ask said questions...well...you just never know.

No matter what decision you make that child will indeed live. You can count on that. Whether you keep him/her or not your life will be forever changed.


--------------------
You learn something new everyday, so be sure you learn something from it.

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Re: Adopted? [Re: Jack yo Self foo]
    #21013568 -

Jack yo Self foo said:
Whether you keep him/her or not your life will be forever changed.


I know, I'm so aware of this, I wish I could just wake up from this and it all be a dream because I know that through my life, whatever I decide to do, I will always question if I did the right thing or not. I know that I have a choice of two chapters and I'll always wonder what the other chapter would of been, where the other path lead....

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Re: Adopted? [Re: chicksgrowtoo] * 1
    #21013584 -

That goes for any decision in life when you think about it.

Chapter...that is exactly right...just keep in mind most books have quite a few chapters.


--------------------
You learn something new everyday, so be sure you learn something from it.

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Re: Adopted? [Re: chicksgrowtoo]
    #21013692 -

chicksgrowtoo said:
I was wanting to hear from anyone who was adopted... how do you feel about it? Are you ok with it? Do you know your birth parents or wish you did? Do you feel like something is missing?

I don't mean to be rude asking the questions but I'm genuinely interested since I'm considering putting my baby up for adoption, I don't want to ruin it's life, I just want it to have the things I can't give it like a stable family.

I'm just asking these questions to see if this is the right option for BOTH of us. I've talked to a few friends but I feel like they hold back a lot to spare my feelings. Brutal honesty will be appreciated.


My ex was adopted and she had a bad life growing up and her family was abusive.  Later on she tracked her parents down in her late 30s.  She is now an advocate for adoptees rights.

If you do it, its going to break your heart, its going to break the kid's heart when they get older, and they might end up in an abusive home.  Also if you ever want to track each other down, depending on which state you are in it could be next to impossible.  If you have the means, take care of the kid.  That's my advice.


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Amanita86 said:
Sui is trying to mod right now.  Kinda like a newborn calf tryin ta stand fer the first time ain’t it..

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Re: Adopted? [Re: chicksgrowtoo] * 1
    #21013717 -

Just put it up for adoption

If you're questioning whether or not to raise it you probably shouldn't raise it


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Stay far from timid, only make moves when your heart's in it.

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