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Grandma died today.
    #20988882 -

Don't even think it's been a month since my mom died. She's still in the living room, waiting on someone to come get her. I was closer to none of my family than my grandma, she raised me from birth. I have so many emotions going through me right now. Mostly anger. At myself, not her. I can't deal with this. I'm losing my fucking mind. All of my friends are asleep or ignoring my pleas for help. Ready to just give up on everything at this point. May be homeless now even though she willed the house to us. Just fuck it all. Really.


--------------------
With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way.
I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today.
Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear.
I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear.


You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being
With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline

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Re: Grandma died today. [Re: Shroomslip]
    #20988889 -

I am so sorry for your loss.  I can only hope that with the passage of time and the grace of God that you are only left with the most cherished memories of her and your lifelong relationship.


--------------------
There is no truer calling for mankind than that of true conservatism.

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Re: Grandma died today. [Re: Shroomslip]
    #20988927 -

My condolences.  More feelings are imminent.  Don't think that you didn't spend enough time with her.  You clearly spent all the time you COULD with her.  Considering she raised you.

And let the anger pass, mane.  Sorry.


--------------------
Admins can't read graphs.


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Re: Grandma died today. [Re: Shroomslip]
    #20988968 -

Shroomslip said:
Don't even think it's been a month since my mom died. She's still in the living room, waiting on someone to come get her. I was closer to none of my family than my grandma, she raised me from birth. I have so many emotions going through me right now. Mostly anger. At myself, not her. I can't deal with this. I'm losing my fucking mind. All of my friends are asleep or ignoring my pleas for help. Ready to just give up on everything at this point. May be homeless now even though she willed the house to us. Just fuck it all. Really.


i'm sure your Grandmother wouldn't want you to be sad. death is a stepping stone. it's gonna be tough, no point in softening the blow.

i'm sorry, though, Shroom, it's always a tough thing, and i really hope you can find some solace in due time. :sad:

which you can.

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Re: Grandma died today. [Re: Morgenstern]
    #20988974 -

im sorry for your loss.

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Re: Grandma died today. [Re: Morgenstern]
    #20988979 -

sorry man

the greatest service you could do for your grandma is live a great life and ensure the survival of your genes

let her spirit live through you

Edited by Does (12/17/14 01:39 PM)

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Re: Grandma died today. [Re: Shroomslip]
    #20988988 -

:heart::hug::sad:

I hope you find solace. I am truly sorry for your loss.
Life is a fickle mystery.


--------------------



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Re: Grandma died today. [Re: BreathlessVision]
    #20989012 -

I'm never going to find comfort or solace. I did this. Me. I got her sick and her existing medical issues complicated things. If she wouldn't have gotten sick she would still be here. I got her sick, and as a result, she died. I fucking did this and THAT I can't live with.

And before all of the "You can't blame yourself" posts. Yes, yes I can. She was fine (relatively speaking) before I got sick and then gave it to her. I shoulda kept my distance like we always do when one of us gets sick, but I didn't. She only got sick because of me (no where else for her to get it from. She was basically bed ridden). I was the only one sick in the last month and she got it just a day or two after I did.

So I did it. I killed my grandma.


--------------------
With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way.
I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today.
Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear.
I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear.


You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being
With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline

Edited by Shroomslip (12/17/14 01:47 PM)

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Re: Grandma died today. [Re: Shroomslip]
    #20989022 -

My condolences Shroomslip.

:hugitout:

I lost the 3 remaining grandparents I had over the course of the last 2 years.
Keep your head up. I know how hard it can be. :peace:&:heart:


--------------------

“[...]the only people for me are the mad ones,
the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk,
mad to be saved,
desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes “Awww!”

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Re: Grandma died today. [Re: Shroomslip]
    #20989113 -

Hey bud, we're here for you. sorry to hear your grandma died man. my grandparents will be gone soon i think too, i don't know how i'm going to deal with it. you're reacting normally... but everything's gonna be alright bud.

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Re: Grandma died today. [Re: Shroomslip]
    #20989127 -

Shroomslip said:
So I did it. I killed my grandma.


makes no difference. people get what they get. no one is gonna sit around here and tell you to get over it... but no one is gonna tell  you it's all your fault and you should suffer for it. it's just a random universe that created the circumstances.

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Re: Grandma died today. [Re: Shroomslip]
    #20989132 -

Shroomslip said:
I'm never going to find comfort or solace. I did this. Me. I got her sick and her existing medical issues complicated things. If she wouldn't have gotten sick she would still be here. I got her sick, and as a result, she died. I fucking did this and THAT I can't live with.

And before all of the "You can't blame yourself" posts. Yes, yes I can. She was fine (relatively speaking) before I got sick and then gave it to her. I shoulda kept my distance like we always do when one of us gets sick, but I didn't. She only got sick because of me (no where else for her to get it from. She was basically bed ridden). I was the only one sick in the last month and she got it just a day or two after I did.

So I did it. I killed my grandma.


you can't beat yourself up for that dude, i know you wanna and i've been there myself. but you can't have known it was going to complicate things for her, it was just her time.

she's not suffering anymore.

you said "relatively speaking" almost to acknowledge she was already in a state of decline, right?

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Re: Grandma died today. [Re: 404]
    #20989153 -

Not a state of decline. She was stable. She just had medical issues that were severely complicated by her getting sick.


--------------------
With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way.
I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today.
Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear.
I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear.


You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being
With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: Grandma died today. [Re: Shroomslip] * 2
    #20989163 -

No, I doubt you killed your grandmother. Get that thought out of your head. She was an elderly lady, so she would be host to a variety of physical ailments. And Older people pass away suddenly too. Don't whip yourself over this - I'm sure she wouldn't want you to. Best of luck and condolences to you and yours.

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Re: Grandma died today. [Re: Shroomslip]
    #20989246 -

Shroomslip said:
Not a state of decline. She was stable. She just had medical issues that were severely complicated by her getting sick.


I first want to offer condolences....try to find solace that you got to spend time with her up to the time her soul left.

As far as you getting her sick, I doubt that....most viruses take a couple weeks to incubate and you mentioned that she got sick a couple days after you.....I don't think she caught anything from you brother.


--------------------
Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better.

Albert Einstein

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Re: Grandma died today. [Re: Shroomslip]
    #20989272 -

I still haven't gotten over the death of my grandpa really. 7 years later...Truly a great man, war hero, books written on him, and overall genius. Parents had to raise 4 kids, I was youngest so I spent a lot of time with my grandparents when rents worked. This guy literally gave the world to us and then all of a sudden he had lung cancer, got chemo, died a month later.

He died the day after my birthday and I know for a god damn fact that he held off till the next day so I didn't have to share my birthday with his death. I loved that man like a father. What's even crazier is he was he died the same day he attempted to save his squadrant in Korea he was the only survivor (a medic) (took a mortar to the stomach and lived)... If you read the book you'd be shocked about how truly brave he was..

I can't even get into my other grandpa he was equally a great man. Died of cancer as well.

Both grandmas still living and I love them to death.

RIP to your grandma and honestly just think of the good times and be thankful for that. It makes it easier to think that their spirit lives on through your genetics and further on down the line when you have children.

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Re: Grandma died today. [Re: Thayendanegea]
    #20989279 -

baltimark said:
Shroomslip said:
Not a state of decline. She was stable. She just had medical issues that were severely complicated by her getting sick.


I first want to offer condolences....try to find solace that you got to spend time with her up to the time her soul left.

As far as you getting her sick, I doubt that....most viruses take a couple weeks to incubate and you mentioned that she got sick a couple days after you.....I don't think she caught anything from you brother.


baltimark said:
Shroomslip said:
Not a state of decline. She was stable. She just had medical issues that were severely complicated by her getting sick.


I first want to offer condolences....try to find solace that you got to spend time with her up to the time her soul left.

As far as you getting her sick, I doubt that....most viruses take a couple weeks to incubate and you mentioned that she got sick a couple days after you.....I don't think she caught anything from you brother.


The typical incubation period for influenza is 1—4 days (average: 2 days).

http://www.cdc.gov/flu/professionals/acip/clinical.htm

Dunno why it quoted twice, don't feel like fixing it.


--------------------
With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way.
I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today.
Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear.
I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear.


You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being
With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: Grandma died today. [Re: Shroomslip]
    #20989302 -

Did she have a flu shot?....I didn't realize it transformed so quickly...was hoping to ease your conscience.


--------------------
Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better.

Albert Einstein

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Re: Grandma died today. [Re: Shroomslip]
    #20989311 -

Life always flows....  :hug: :heart:



Im sorry :frown:


--------------------
:sunny::inlove::peyotespectrum::peyotespectrum::inlove::sunny:
And to everyone who thinks life is just a game,
Do you like the part you are playing?
This is the time in life I am living!
And I face each day with a smile :smile:
My music Library of Synthesizer goodness

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Re: Grandma died today. [Re: Thayendanegea]
    #20989319 -

That actually makes me want to drop kick you in the face for reasons you couldn't possibly know.. lol

My job stresses "don't forget your flu shot". They're trying to push them out to get more capital and when I got sick, the main head honcho in our district was like 'did you get your flu shot?' in this snotty fucking tone like it was my fault I got sick (I work in a pharmacy, where sick people go for medicine.. Getting sick is a regular thing).

No, she didn't. I didn't either. And I won't. ever.


--------------------
With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way.
I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today.
Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear.
I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear.


You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being
With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
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