I think its messed up especially if you are scaring them and they do have a clue. You should stop this stuff, it makes you feel bad as well and just leave these people alone and make a fresh start.
Its up to you to stop your habits and if your not being sincere or trolling then its not going to help. I would say the first step is really admitting the wrongs you have done and not trying to blame anyone else. Just put the past behind you and one step forward at a time, you need these people and there making you feel bad.
They might not even know you exist after all this time. Your not the center of the world and its important for us all to understand that. So my advice is to stop what your doing, not apologize which would make them feel you still do things, and if you really care, then move on. Peace and good luck.
|