zzripz said:
I personally have a a deep problem with christianity per se. I think it has abused SO many people in its history. This belief system has invaded indigenous peoples land and communities and demanded they cease ancient rituals --including spiritual healing and shared mythology with psychoactive substances--which bound their community to each other and to the land and then built their fukin churches there drilling their dogma down everyones throats, and shipping their children off to their schools, and all this having the nerve to be supposedly representing a 'god of love'...?!
I understand your feelings completelyā¦ I had a problem with it for so long, but got to the point of utter rejection of anything but itās raw roots and purpose. Iām still not a fan of Christianityā¦ ESPECIALLY Mormonismā¦ I donāt even want to get started on that bullshit. One word is enoughā¦ Lamanite 
It pains me to see my race and ancestors so adamant about Christianityā¦ Robbed of their cultural identity and heritageā¦ It still exists, but they care not largely due to their religious indoctrination.
It pains me the same way to see Native Americans all Christianizedā¦
I canāt help but flash to the priests in Australia sterilizing the women aboriginesā¦
Indeed angeringā¦
Christianity has been the vehicle for so much evil...
FishOilTheKid said:
It seems that they are parroting instruction from somewhere and they keep screaming 'NO MUSHROOM USE!' The spirits. But it seems that they are protecting people from cognitive dissonance or other anxieties about this ONE realization by doing so. For the fucking sake of their comfort level. I sincerely thought that Truth would matter. ---
Well, having had enough experience with psilocybin and some with A. Muscaria I did attain a state that I feel very right about. They will not accept my method and express that I either broke in or am not allowed or it was illegal... In honoring myself I'd like those experiences to be the foundation of my being but they destroy the thought process that gets you there and is a product of that experience. What feels right now is maintaining my Truth of mushroom use in this context. But, they are relentless and seem to get off on the idea that it hurts me to remember all this so they just keep hammering me with all the archetypal sentiment that this brings up.
At first, I thought I would have no idea what you were talking aboutā¦ What you are expressing here is something I have expressed to very, very few people.
It is now my turn to āspill some beansā
For two years I had been on a spiritual quest, expanding, deepening, growing wise beyond my young yearsā¦ I honestly think I was too young to really understand what was happening to me at the time.
At this time, I was already experiencing spirits, not questioning, just accepting. Perhaps there was advantage to being as young as I was.
I ate mushrooms for my first time in this period, with the intention of spiritual growth.
The initial experience was not as intense as its fruits.
My psychic awareness went through the ceiling, I had peeled back a veil I had only had my head through and I reveled in it. I could sense what people were feeling, and even manipulated this in my benefit with a few girls.(Still can sense, but it is very much in check.) and occasionally could literally hear their thoughts. Sensing and feeling spirits and things of that nature was the norm.
I did not go through this aloneā¦ My brother woke up in this sense with me, perhaps so I would not go mad, because even then, I questioned my sanityā¦ But when you have a person there next to you, experiencing everything you do, it makes it very, very real and reassuring that you are not mad, in fact, I questioned only once, in the beginning of it allā¦
This whole process is a very long story, which I am including in the book I am writing and will not go into here, but in the end, the spirits were constantly against me and the use of my plant teachers.
It got so bad at one point, that I got rid of all of my shamanic objects and fearfully attempted to reject all I had been throughā¦ Close the doors I had opened. So was the theme of my life in the months to follow.
But, the transformation had happened; there was no rejecting itā¦ I had awoken and no matter how terrifying and different my life had become, it was time to make the journey to embody it to the best of my ability.
I was tormented by dark spirits for the following two and a half years. At one point, I wanted to kill myself, my family was terrified by what was happening and the spirits made them quite uncomfortableā¦ I blamed myself. I lost my longtime girlfriend because she could not stand the horrible feelings these entities gave herā¦ She grew tired of waking in the middle of the night with all of her hair standing on end, room silent, followed by me awaking screaming as something tried to enter my body.
It was the most difficult time of my lifeā¦..
To be honest? As crazy as it may sound, I feel it is spirits who are against the progression of human kind under the guise of good ones who are against the progressive potential psychedelics hold for our species. Halters of our transcendence.
What the hell are these āspiritsā and why do they want to help us or stop us?
Sometimes I wish it was as simple as the spirits that are a fragment of my own psyche, but when others experience them in that nature, there is no brushing them off.
It can be quite tricky.
It feels odd speaking of this topic, it has been so longā¦
Itās typically something I keep to myself, given itās a personal aspect of being a āshamanā (for a lack of better words)
What good does discussing this ontology do someone who can't access those states and doesn't experience spirits?ā¦ I tend to focus my energy on helping those around me grow, heal and become more aware.
As if it isnāt strange and confusing enough being brought forth into this husk of flesh and bone as the creature I am on this garden planet with the pale orb circling in the skyā¦ You add the deepened layers of mystery and experienceā¦. Forces one to find peace with the great question mark that presents itself in everythingā¦.
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To be human is to be fettered, to endure what one is, in perpetuum, no matter what the debility or perversity.
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