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Marriage
    #12986427 -

I'm 19 and I recently started dating a guy again that I dated for two and a half years, we broke up about 7 months ago. We got over a lot of our own personal problems hoping to grow together now. HE keeps talking about us moving in together and eventually getting married. This freaks me out a little. I am so young and just don't think I can make the decision yet. I am in school for nursing and I feel like I have yet to meet half the people I am going to in my life. I am just so torn because I really do LOVE him and I know we share something special. I don;t know if I should forget about him and be a free spirit now and risk our while relationship, or just suck up my fear. I don't want to lose him, but I don't want to feel like this.

Any advice?

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Re: Marriage [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #12986511 -

i'm 25 and could never imagine getting married and tied down like that even now, no way i'd ever think about it at 19.

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Re: Marriage [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #12986540 -

Yea that's what I am thinking about. I feel like it will just eat my soul.

Do you think it's something worth breaking up with him over it?

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Re: Marriage [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #12986633 -

That's much too serious of a question to answer on anon internet forums. I think you should talk to him and let him know how you feel about marriage so young though.

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Re: Marriage [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #12986639 -

No but it's definitely something you should talk to him about.

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Re: Marriage [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #12986882 -

Advice?

Don't move in with him and get married.

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Re: Marriage [Re: Anonymous #4]
    #12987454 -

Tell him exactly what you put here.

you love him but you arent ready for that kind of commitment.
and if he loves you as much as he should if he's considering a LIFETIME with you, then he will respect your wishes.

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Re: Marriage [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #12987625 -

Anonymous #1 said:
I'm 19 and I recently started dating a guy again that I dated for two and a half years, we broke up about 7 months ago. We got over a lot of our own personal problems hoping to grow together now. HE keeps talking about us moving in together and eventually getting married. This freaks me out a little. I am so young and just don't think I can make the decision yet. I am in school for nursing and I feel like I have yet to meet half the people I am going to in my life. I am just so torn because I really do LOVE him and I know we share something special. I don;t know if I should forget about him and be a free spirit now and risk our while relationship, or just suck up my fear. I don't want to lose him, but I don't want to feel like this.

Any advice?



I got married too early (I was 19 too) and lived to regret it. 

Your mileage might vary but please consider NOT tying yourself down to one person so young.  Trust your instincts on this.

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Re: Marriage [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #12988647 -

The real question is why didn't you share your feelings with he when he started talking about marriage?  Also how did you respond to his marriage talk?

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Re: Marriage [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #12988713 -

You say you love him and share something special, so obviously don't break with him, but let him know you don't want to get married for a while, maybe you could say you want to wait until after you graduate school or whatever you want to say.


And if you really wanted to find out if you wanted to be with him only, you could always sleep with someone else and see how you really end up feeling about it, it could end up being a horrible decision but I'm just trying to brainstorm

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Re: Marriage [Re: Anonymous #8]
    #12988743 -

to sum up what i tried to say earlier:
if you were even CLOSE to being ready for marraige with this man you wouldn't be going online for advice you'd just tell him the whole complete truth.

don't do it.

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Re: Marriage [Re: Anonymous #5]
    #12989482 -

if you have to ask then he's not the one. wind up that relationship and move on.

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Re: Marriage [Re: Anonymous #9]
    #12989625 -

Anonymous #9 said:
if you have to ask then he's not the one. wind up that relationship and move on.


Qft. I married at 21

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Re: Marriage [Re: Anonymous #10]
    #12989813 -

I am 23, married for 2 years. I love my husband.

But 1st) you are too young to know what love really is. I thought I was in love when I was 17, I stayed "in love" with the same person for a while (til I was 20 or so), but then I grew up and grew out of it, it wasnt love, although it felt like it at the moment, and that person WAS very special too me, it was really just a romantic platonic feeling of having someone to love and who loves you, not REALLY love. I didnt realize what love really was until I found my husband, and I can tell you for sure, you will NOT doubt for a second about marrying your true love when you find him.

2nd) you have ALEADY broken up with this guy.

It doesnt matter if it was personal problems not related to your relationship that made you break up. You guys will have to learn how to deal with your personal problems when you are married. If you werent able to do that and opted to break up with a person you "love" over that, you'll probably end up getting a divorce over similar things. Do you want the "divorced" title at 21?

+ I totally agree with Anon#9. You wouldnt be asking for advice to a bunch of strangers online if you guys were really ready and meant to get married.
It's like saying you feel more confortable about discussing important life issues with total strangers than with him. That's not what you want in a life partner.

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