Sorry OP, I really went off on a self-centered tangent/rant there...
I guess what I"m saying is that motivation is a fickle thing, you can't really make it appear out of thin air. You have your interests and talents, I'm sure, though they don't seem like anything valuable to you now because without motivation they're like sails without wind.
Just don't let that keep you inside all the time - find reasons to go outside, try new things if the old things seem boring. Try new foods, read a book, watch movies that aren't up your usual alley, explore your neighborhood, talk to strangers, what the hell ever. Your activities don't have to have a "point" or explicitly lead you anywhere, so long as they're relatively fresh experiences that keep you thinking on your feet. As long as you keep exposing yourself to new things, your thoughts will freshen and brighten, and eventually something will happen that shows the way forward for you beyond a doubt. My advice is based on my own experiences, and I know your situation is probably different from mine, but I hope it helps.
Above all don't beat yourself up for anything, ever. Placing the blame on yourself for where you are in life actually hurts your ability to take active responsibility for it and get control over your situation. It's not really your fault that you've found yourself in this situation, we don't get much control over the circumstances of our lives. What you do have control over is what you choose to do right now, and by not giving into the temptation to just give up on everything, even in very small ways, you are already molding a better future for yourself.
If all the inspirational ideas really just don't work, probably couldn't hurt to see a shrink, though you sound like you'd prefer to work things out on your own and I think that's a good instinct.
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Ythan
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