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Re: Share the stupidest things you have ever done at work [Re: Chubba]
    #11209264 -

I would saying talking to some slutty chick at a Jewel that I worked at. She was working in the bakery department and she never got off my nuts. I was 17 she was 23.. I kid you not. she started talking to my mother who was a regular shopper and she called me all the time for the dumbest shit. She wanted me to break up with my girl and bone but I aint tryina catch nuffin from her!

:crazy2:


--------------------
If there were no rewards to reap,No loving embrace to see me through
This tedious path I've chosen here,I certainly would've walked away by now.
Gonna wait it out.
If there were no desire to heal The damaged and broken met along
This tedious path I've chosen hereI certainly would've walked away by now.
And I still may ... (sigh) ... I still may.Be patient.
I must keep reminding myself of this.

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Re: Share the stupidest things you have ever done at work [Re: Tomandjerry58]
    #11209278 -

preschooler said:
Driving a small truck and trailer for this company. Decided it would be funny to hit this cone on the side of the road with the fender....so im closing in on it.... and boooom the whole fucking fender flies up in the air. The cone had concrete inside it. Of course im telling the people in the truck to tell the boss it was an accident but they ratted me out.

Or pulling a 55 gallon drum of glue off with a forklift. Just by the sides of the barrel. Once it got off the top of the truck it was about 7 feet in the air.....  boooooom hits the ground and glue is everywhere...... fucking disaster.... 55 gallons of glue:hehehe:


:lmafo: that is a LOT of glue!

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Re: Share the stupidest things you have ever done at work [Re: Chubba]
    #11209966 -

Quote:
Walked into the store with my sunglasses on, feeling grooving, walk straight up to the manager take my sunglasses off in a swift motion but the Xanax has already ruined my coordination so they sunglasses go flying out of my hand and hit the boss in the face.



:rotfl: Suave man, you mustve made quite an impression!


--------------------
Omnicyclion.org
personal empowerment for the world

Onehomemission.org
truly make a difference

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Re: Share the stupidest things you have ever done at work [Re: Asante]
    #11210004 -

A GHB INDUCED COMA

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Re: Share the stupidest things you have ever done at work [Re: spiralingmind]
    #11210093 -

I worked in in a fish store for about 6 or 7 years from middle school to highschool. I did several stupid things but never got in too much trouble.

Stupidest... Fed a very expensive fish a dying pufferfish. I just wanted to see the thing puff up. It puffed up. Then the fish that was eating it popped it and ate it. Then that fish was dead in 10 minutes. Pufferfish are VERY poisonous. Kinda forgot about that.

Another one was I was dosing some chemicals to buffer the water and lost count and ended up adding 1.5 times as much as I should have. All the fish in the tank died in an hour or two. Got yelled at but nothing official resulted from it.

I also got stung by a scorpion fish while scrubbing algae. Hurt like a motherfucker. I ended up screaming "FUCKK!!! YOU STUPID PIECE OF FUCKING SHIT!" in front of some kids ranged from 4-8 years old and ran off with my finger squirting blood all over the place. Boss was sympathetic though, he had been stung before too.

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Re: Share the stupidest things you have ever done at work [Re: Gumby]
    #11210388 -

When I was in high school I would stock shelves and pick up grocery baskets while still trippin from then night before. I also delivered pizzas in the most ghetto places that everyone else was scared of, because I had a pistol and an assault rifle in my car. Only had to pull a gun once.

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Re: Share the stupidest things you have ever done at work [Re: Yacub]
    #11210940 -

I was catering a racing event. Easy shit, flip burgers, bs with the lovely patrons, and drink freely from the kegs. Day one was standard business, and we just kinda cooked and ate and drank moderately.

Day two was supposed to be all prep work. I got a cushy spot presetting burger buns with lettuce and tomatoes in a shack way off in the boonies of the racing complex. It has been well explained by my overseer that today is chill, and it's totally time to get a fat buzz on (I've got a sober driver, so word).

Anyway, a few tall pepsi cups of sam adam's later, and I'm feeling rather loose. Here comes the foil: a guy from another station that's actually dealing with customers runs up, sees me standing closest to him, and states "we need more help, I'm taking him."

I get down there and have to grill flank steaks on a giant grill. Servers keep bringing me beer, and I reach a point of drunk. Not wasted or blackout, but a mean stagger going on. Dish time comes and someone throws on slayer. I start bitching that the folks around me are not washing dishes at nearly an appropriate rate.

When the supervisor finds out I start getting a talking to. I say the whole "I'm sorry, and I think I learned an important lesson to never drink on the job" to which he replied "nah man, you can get drunk, just hide somewhere if you get that drunk."

Since, I've become much better at drinking at catering functions. The big trick is to get just sauced enough that conversation flows freely with the customers (and barter the servers grub for liquor). This works best at classy affairs, where the custys expect you to read their nametags, address them by name, and basically wow them with ass kissery.


--------------------
"Yeah, he's a professor...... OF BEING A DOG!"

Edited by DrMambo (10/08/09 11:44 PM)

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Re: Share the stupidest things you have ever done at work [Re: DrMambo]
    #11210989 -

i jerked off at work once. true story and thats all that i'll say.


--------------------
Nature is my church and walking through it is gospel. It tells no lies and reveals all to those who look, and listen, closely.
-Karode

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Re: Share the stupidest things you have ever done at work [Re: spiralingmind]
    #11211031 -

Not really a funny thing, just really stupid...after the fact.

About 3-4 years ago i was on a job installing server racks in a building with a few coworkers.

Around 12-1pm we hear sirens and ignore them.

We had all been chatting how we felt odd and a little loopy, well 3 firemen in full garb and face masks see us working wiring racks, and running wire.

They freak out and tell their crew downstairs to send up masks and oxygen.

Evidently the heater system in the building was installed incorrectly, and CO (carbon monoxide) was leaking into the heater system.

Luckily we were working in the main room which was 2 stories tall and around 150 x 150 ft square, so the concentration wasn't as high as the rest of the building.

We were led out with masks on, because evidently if we weren't we would have passed out before we reached any of the exits.

We get outside, and we are all really, really, relly loopy, and i realize i left my pack of smokes (which had 3 joints in it) in the main room.

Well, i decided to run back into the building.....

Halfway up the stairs (the room we were in was on the 2nd story) i passed out, and had to be carried out by firemen, and put on 100% O2 for 30 min.

Not my best moment considering i was rambling on about cigarettes and joints while delirious....

Never got in trouble, and the next day when the building was cleared by the local FD, we went back in and...

It happend again...

This time i managed to grab my smokes.

Another day later the heater system was REALLY fixed, and we were able to finish the job.


--------------------

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity. Im not too sure about the former.      -Einstein

Of course the rules need to be enforced, but the goal of law and order should be to create a just society, not to enforce laws. -Unknown

“I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours.”  -Stephen Roberts

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Re: Share the stupidest things you have ever done at work [Re: stedenko]
    #11211371 -

stedenko said:
DEATH666 said:
I got cought jacking off in a porta potty at a big construction site. LOL i was facing the door and  forgot to lock it.


I call shenanigans, I wouldnt even shit in one of them shitters, you really choke it in there? WTF do you think about that overpowers the smell of random mexican shats?



Mexican space rockets.  I once took a piss in a porta-potty that had "MEXICAN SPACE ROCKET" carved into the side of it (the inside where you face).


--------------------
OP is now RP!  Read about it here!


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Re: Share the stupidest things you have ever done at work [Re: spiralingmind]
    #11213234 -

I work in a warehouse, and they've hired some fatass from Tennessee to make stupid rules for us, to supposedly increase productivity.

Anyways, this guy made the all time stupidest ass backward rule ever, and everyone is pissed off about it and not doing it.

Yesterday i basically told my boss that "no, i wont do it, its idiotic" and today the orders i was picking were tiny.

So im assuming i am getting punished for speaking my mind.


--------------------
GO OUTSIDE.

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Re: Share the stupidest things you have ever done at work [Re: moe.phan]
    #11213359 -

Swyfty Swyf said:
I went clubbing one night and didn't make it home until time to get ready for work and I was drunk and strung out about as tight as a banjo string.

So I go to work.

I was doing electrical work in the field at the time, so there was a lot of construction noise echoing through the facilty.

Not the best hangover atmosphere.

Anyway, I get myself all layed out on what I needed to be doing and I lose it because my tools were gone.

I then proceeded to cuss everyone in the building one at a time, just in case one of them was the cocksucker that stole my tools.

After several threats of asswhoopings which I totally deserved (a common theme in some of my stories), I discover my tools were right where they were supposed to be.

I go nuts and I'm making rounds again to go find out who was hiding my tools from me.

I get stopped by the superintendant who I could tell was none too impressed with my demeanor.

He starts grilling me about being drunk and I am defending myself saying I'm not.

All the drama proved to be a little much and I decide to throw up and take a load off.

That's about the time someone volunteered to take me home.

I didn't get fired but I didn't win any medals either.


moe.phan said:
hah

classic.


:rofl:

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Re: Share the stupidest things you have ever done at work [Re: Solemente]
    #11213554 -

I once worked at an international non-profit, and we were having our biggest organizational conference ever, and had brought folks in from all our locations in South America, Sub-Saharan Africa etc. We were at a large hotel, so our primary event was in the ballroom and I only had to make it upstairs. For some stupid reason, I has some klonipins from a friend which I was eating like candy, and a pint of Jack Daniels.

During our big evening presentations I was sitting down front as I was technical support for AV etc. Among others our president, the Kenyan Minister of Health and the head of Planned Parenthood spoke.

Apparently I kept falling asleep and snoring loudly, and kept getting poked awake only to fall asleep again. I perked back up after the lights came up and we had a party where I proceeded to get even more hammered and went from sleepy to raucous.

I woke up on the floor in my room (someone told me two people had to hold me up to get me there), and the phone was ringing. I had to go downstairs and setup the projector etc. for some morning sit-ins in my rumpled clothes with bloodshot eyes and a raging hangover.

Anyway, after the years I had been a first rate employee, people amazingly gave me a pass. The CFO did mention, "well I guess you probably didn't want to be president of the organization anyway" but other than that I suffered no repercussions other than extreme embarrassment. My performance became legendary though and no one ever let me forget it.

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Re: Share the stupidest things you have ever done at work [Re: antiPock]
    #11213600 -

One day, working at McDonalds, I started with full uniform minus shoes and socks.

When someone finally noticed my shoelessness, I casually walked to the maintenance closet and chucked a massive spew.

How I even managed to get to work in the first place I still cant remember.

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Re: Share the stupidest things you have ever done at work [Re: antiPock]
    #11213613 -

the dumbest i've done? probably eating an eighth of really good cubes about an hour before my shift was over (pumping gas at the busiest gas station in town, this was in 10th grade mind you) thinking that by the time the shrooms kicked in, i'd be about done. well, 30 minutes after eating said cubes, i was tripping balls. and i still had to attend to the last few customers, cash out the register and then take the daily numbers off of the gas pumps. well, i fucked it all up that night, the next day shift said nothing was done correctly the night before. fuck pumping gas whilst tripping.

also, jerking off at work. i used to make a game out of it. i'd spend 1/2 hour in the bathroom beating off, and once i was done i'd take my hourly wage and cut divide by two...and then see how much money i just made for jerking off. $10 an hour, that's $5 for beating off for 30 minutes. i make it a point to do this at each job i've ever had.


--------------------
Now he's Johnny Hammersticks hammerin' away like he's friggin' Tommy Noble

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Re: Share the stupidest things you have ever done at work [Re: Solemente]
    #11213673 -

Auto-Summary
The author recounts a wild night at an apartment complex where they and another maintenance man, J, consumed large amounts of G (GHB), an illegal drug. They invited three underage "Pixie Chicks" who were known for their drug use to their friend's house, where they got even more intoxicated. The next morning, they returned to work at the apartment complex, leaving the intoxicated girls in J's apartment. Despite being heavily influenced by G, the author managed to fix a leaky roof while experiencing an adrenaline rush. They injured themselves when they fell into a holly bush while fixing the roof, but the G made the fall seemingly painless. Upon returning to work, they received criticism from their coworkers for their poor performance, despite their efforts to fix the leak.

Haha, I got dozens of stupid work stories.  This one might be more stupid than the last one.

Disclaimer: this story includes many irresponsible things that I do not condone, that being said:

I was working as a maintenance man at an apartment complex, and one of the other maintenance men, J, became a good friend of mine.  Both of us were really wild and around 21, so the rest of the crew got a big kick out of us.  It was a good gig, and had incentives like bonuses and Safety Bingo, where we competed with other complexes to receive awards for not having injuries on the job. 

One night, we drove to this gym where J knew the manager and he scored a big bottle of G.  We rode over to another friend of mine's house, D, where there were a few folks drinking, including a group of three wild teenage girls who everybody called the Pixie Chicks.  They were some hippy-thug-raver chicks who rolled and drank G and hung out in strip clubs a lot.  Since they always had the E hookup, they were never hassled at the door, even though they were underage.  D happened to be dating one of the Pixie Chicks at the time.  Well, he was pretty drunk when we got there, like sloshed drunk on Jager, so we carried him to his bed and left with the Pixies, cause they were on our nuts when they saw how much G we had. 

So we were all packed into the car headed back to J's apartment, and these girls were pretty drunk and ready to G out. We were letting them sip from the bottle, so who knows how much they had.  By the time we got there, these girls were belligerent.  I think as soon as we entered the place, lamps started getting knocked over and things started breaking.  It was all J and I could do just to restrain one girl at a time, which left one Pixie free to parade around the place tilting over furniture at all times.  I am amazed that they didn't hurt themselves.  People on G are so malliable.  It's like their bodies turned to Jell-O as they would run into couches and just somersault over the back of them unharmed.

As the hours persisted, they began to G out and would pass in and out of concsiousness.  They were all having a lot of fun, and they were all in very slutty moods too.  They were only halfway coherent when they were awake, but they all clearly wanted something else in them to make them feel good when they weren't being slapped back awake.

Well, 7 o'clock in the morning came around in no time.  We couldn't call in because J lived in the apartment complex where we worked, like 20 yards away from the shop where we all met in the morning.  All the other guys would have just loved to come over and see what we were up to, and plus they had keys to all the apartments.  So we go in to work and leave the Pixies in his apartment to get some much needed rest.

Just the sight of the two of us sent the other maintenance men into hysterics.  They were all laughing and taking turns examining our eyes.  We loaded up tools and materials and got away from them as quick as we could and went to fix a leaky roof.  When we got to the apartment, I was beginning to understand just how fucked up I was still.  J and I were taking sips of G all through the night, and it was keeping us energized then, but it was starting to take its toll on me.  I was just nodding all over the place, and I kept hearing conversations in my head, so I was answering questions that no one was asking me.  I got out of the truck and set the ladder up.  The resident came out to shoot the shit, but he was visably uncomfortable when he noticed how tore up his maintenance men were.

You know how ladders have little feet on the bottom with spikes for sticking into the ground?  Well I must have said fuck those spikes and the ladder was on about a 45 degree incline so as to not damage a big holly bush there up next to the apartment.  I got some tar and a brush and headed up the ladder without using my hands.  When I got about halfway up, the ladder began to slide out from under me!  I dropped the supplies and I was racing up the ladder to make it to the roof before the end of the ladder slid off the roof.  Well, I made it to the roof in just enough time to set my tippy toes on the edge of the shingles.  Then I came down with my hands and slapped the shit out the shingles in some feeble attempt to get a grip.  It was no good, and I turned in the air and fell chest-first right into the holly bush.  I think the G helped me to be all agile and it felt as if I fell into a pillow of goosefeathers.  I never felt any pain whatsoever, even though I had just plunged ten feet into a holly bush, supported by the main trunk five feet within the mass of the stickers.  There was a mild stinging in my palms, which were covered in abrasions from slapping the shingles, and I had a few scratches on my face.

J came running from the truck and I jumped out of the bush with the biggest adrenaline/G buzz of my life.  The resident came back outside and looked us both up and down a few times as we assured him everything was fine.  When it was all said and done and we actually got back up on the roof to fix the leak, J said, "Goddamnit Swyfty, you just about fucked up our Safety Bingo!"


--------------------
If you build it they will shrug.
:shrug:

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Re: Share the stupidest things you have ever done at work [Re: Swyfty Swyf]
    #11213714 -

  • First day working in a porn shop when I was younger


  • Decided to take a low dose of mushrooms several hours before going to work so that I'd be in that nice clear after trip mindset


  • Ended up tripping face like I'd taken 5 grams even though It was only something like 1.5...maybe 2 grams.  The first few hours working were one of the most miserable experiences of my life.


Conclusion: Being surrounded by people you don't know in a brightly lit room full of hundreds of sex toys, BDSM gear and graphic images of girls getting fisted, gangbanged and covered in jizz is no way to spend an evening.
^^^I'm aware the story sounds like bullshit so I wont be offended if you think I made it up.


--------------------
The Prophecy!

Learn To Code

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Re: Share the stupidest things you have ever done at work [Re: blewmeanie]
    #11216212 -

<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="

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Re: Share the stupidest things you have ever done at work [Re: Tomandjerry58]
    #11216283 -

155
preschooler said:
<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="




HAHA. please everyone pause it at 1:55.
is this you or someone you know
or just a strange thing you found on the internet


--------------------

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Re: Share the stupidest things you have ever done at work [Re: spiralingmind]
    #11216393 -

Its some guys i work with...they're all in a hard core rock band. (their music too)

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