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It's usually this part in life what separates the men from the boys

Your getting to a point i've been at a couple of times, where you just dont give a fuck about yourself or where you are going.
You can keep smokin an drinkin an hittin drugs up, but where is that going to take you? Whats that going to do for you.

I was in a similar situation to yourself, though not as bad, but i was still fucked over. I was getting drunk and stoned all the time, but i didn't care because i was happy and i couldnt give a fuck. However i could notice a dependency building, and i wasn't doing anything with my life.

I stopped smoking and drinking for a month. I dont know why, mainly because i was less social then usual and didn't go out, but i was also out of money & wanted a tolerence break. Although this month was hard, alot of fucked thoughts going through my head and i couldn't sleep much at night. Although i struggled, i managed to catch up on my schoolwork and was even excelling most kids in my classes, even though i was the biggest druggie/drinker in the school. I also started getting back into shape, going for daily runs and working out. I lost a decent amount of weight and looked ripped.

What did this do for me? I felt way more confident. I nearly felt like i was at the top of the world, and i didnt need substances to help me get there. My physical performance was at bar to when i was young and i started enjoying exercise again. Anytime someone at school tried to call me a druggie/stoner, i would laugh at them, knowing i can live without them. I still drink on weekends and smoke weed as well, but i managed to push 2 negatives together and create a positive.

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Awesome stuff, man. I'm in the same position and it feels great.