A) There is no "frog in the boiling water" story when it comes to human relationships.
B) Trust is, or should be, built over time, not all in a hurry when you don't have the skills to identify unsafe people because of insecurity or sexual desire.
C) The larger issue is how you got here, not because you were unaware (even though you were), but how is it that you are/were unaware of her personality traits. How did you miss the signs? A person like her doesn't become bitchy over time as they lure you in unless you don't have the requisite relational insights to recognize her for what she is. Trust me, the signs were there all along. You just couldn't see them.
D) You are exaggerating. She's bad, but not as you make her out to be. (Or at least the impression of her you left with me)
E) You sound like a bright guy with talent/skills at making money, but clueless in the relationship department. Don't feel alone, most of us are like that, at first. Later, if we apply ourselves to learning the traits to watch out for and allow trust to be built with healthy people over time, we eliminate forming unhealthy relationships with unhealthy people as we grow toward mental/emotional health/maturity.
F) Your choices are obvious. You will pay a price and are paying a price for not being more aware. That happens. You can cut your losses in the love department and pay out the ass in alimony/child support or you can continue to suffer in a loveless/sexless relationships taking it up the ass for as long as she'll want to use you. A third choice would be to change the way you relate to her. Stand your ground, be firm, but loving and wait/hope/pray for her to change. Probably the bottom line is she won't and if you try to change a dynamic so ingrained it will permamently fracture an unhealthy relationship to the breaking point.
Be grateful you didn't father any children with this bitch. There are beautiful, loving, kind, thoughtful partners out there waiting for a man like you once you can get to the point of seeing/recognizing them instead of the selfless, self-centered, egotistical bitches that will make your life a living hell.
Get busy, learn to find good people and strive to grow yourself into a person that enjoys loving and being loved by healthy people. It's a long road with no shortcuts.
Be well. 
#5 It looks like you could also use some lessons in finding a good partner. We men are usually morons in the relationship department. Take it to the bank, healthy people attract healthy people, the inverse is true as well.
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