93
So here's what we'll do. Post the funniest thing that you've ever done or has happened to you. Surely far from an original topic, but one that needs exercising once in a while. People post about funny daily happenings all the time, but lets make this super concentrated with the best of the best, funniest of the funniest personal stories. A good chuckle is essential. So off we go. Here's my contribution:
So we're a bunch of 16ish kids hanging about a friends house with little to do. We go to change setting to another room for some reason or the other only to discover a present awaiting us in the middle of the carpet. Ahhhh yes, a well proportioned turd with a prominent stench left by my friend's German Shepard/Rottweiler mix. It was a middle shade of brown and quite resembled a human poo. The sensible would simply curse the culprit, discard the excrement, and carry on with hir day. But no, boredom can give way to lunacy with the juvenile arrogance of a middle teen.
A ziplock bag was procured, inside which the turd made its new home. A few minutes of fun ensued after a bit of poo teasing with the female populous present at the time, but the pangs of boredom set in once again. But I had an epiphany!!!! Brilliant!!!!
So the poop and us loaded into a cherokee and we made our way to the nearby supermarket. Not wanting anyone else to capitalize on my brainchild, I choose to be the participant and carried our new smelly buddy into the market. It was placed in one of those hand baskets and we separated and walked through the store appearing inconspicuous.
But it was time. All but one of my friends had made their way back to the truck as I got in line between a few people. Butterflies in my stomach gathered as more people lined up behind me and a subtle hint of feces stink began to permeate the air. I noticed the people around me shift, surely thinking that the wiping skills or gaseous manners of their fellow man to be grossly underdeveloped, but nobody payed any attention to what exactly I possessed.
The last person in line before me left and now it was time for me to employ my acting skills to their fullest extent as to appear as if this was just another checkout. The cashier? The typical garden variety female middle teen, clearly helping to propagate the ditzy blonde stereotype. So I plop the turd containing ziplock onto the belt and deliver the line: "Excuse me, but I cant seem to find a price tag for this sausage.". So far, so good as she shows no apparent signs of suspicion, even despite a bit of stink. After a few seconds of idle contemplation, she actually picked up the bag for a closer examination. And get this: she begins to pinch the turd and feel it in her hands(still in the ziplock of course)!!! At this point, about 45 seconds has incurred since her new encounter and she calls to another employee for a price check, still apparently oblivious to this holy excrement she held.
But it was getting to be too much for me. The logical amongst us would have simply bolted, but I, as the other employee approached, grabbed the bag out of her hands(yes she was actually still holding it) and bolted for the exit. But my adventure was not to end just yet. For the manager of the market just so happened to be in the partition between the sliding doors where the vending machines were. As I was bolting out with an unbagged "package", he must have assumed that I was stealing something and he ran out after me. But his overweight middle aged legs were no match for mine and I easily outran him to the cherokee which thankfully housed the rest of my friends. Seeing as I was getting chased, the vehicle was started, the door opened, and I jumped in for a hasty getaway.
Believe it or not, I actually made no effort to avoid that supermarket for any time afterwards. I simply removed my glasses for a month or two afterwards and continued getting my consumer needs there without anyone being the wiser or confronting me about it.
Anyway, take some time and have a go folks. Provide some giggle bait and lets all have a hoot and a holler!:):D
93 93/93
|
Threaded
Previous
Index
Next
Shop: Feminized Cannabis Seeds
lavod 
Lndrydusting 
Edit 
Reply 
recalcitrant
trendal
liquidity
1 2 all )
matts
Revelation
3eyedgod