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I'm afraid I'm a freak and I don't know what to do.
    #8614627 -

I'm not sure if I should even post this, but I really need to get this out. This is something that has tormented me for years. Since I was about 13. I've never told anyone this, and because of my issues with sex I'm a virgin.

Sigh.. ok,

When I masturbate, I feel ashamed of myself for doing it. I know its wrong. After I masturbate myself to the point of.. you know, "cuming", I often find my self extremely sick to my stomach, and a massive anxiety comes over me. At this point I usually find myself puking. When I'm done puking I feel really good, and sexually aroused again. For the last few years, I've been masturbating with my own puke. I know this makes me a freak, but I can't stop it. I just love the feeling of throwing up, and the puke is an easy access lubricant.

Oh god, I never thought I would be writing this out. I just went back and re-read what I wrote, and I'm in tears. I hate what I've become! I fucking hate it! Why can't I just be normal! I'm never going to have a normal sex life, EVER. Sometimes after I've masturbated with my own puke, I cry, and I want to die. I've thought about killing myself several times after one of my sessions.

Lately, when ever I get the urge to jerk off, I fight it. I try hard not to, and sometimes i can go weeks, even months with out doing it. BUT THE URGE NEVER GOES AWAY! WHY CAN'T I GO WITH OUT TOUCHING MYSELF! I knew I never should have started masturbating in the first place but I was curious. I hate myself for that.

You don't have to respond to this, I just needed to let it out somewhere.

I'm leaving.

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Re: I'm afraid I'm a freak and I don't know what to do. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #8614658 -

Man Tangerines, you're fucked up dude.

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Re: I'm afraid I'm a freak and I don't know what to do. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #8614886 -

hmmmm.  See a sex shrink? 

If you are for real, there's some deeply bizarre shit going on that it would be best to overcome somehow.  If you like jerking it with puke, that's cool...whatever...but if it makes you feel bad (and masturbating in general) you gotta find a way to get over the guilt and shame.

Good luck.

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Re: I'm afraid I'm a freak and I don't know what to do. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #8614892 -

Anonymous said:
Man Tangerines, you're fucked up dude.


Seriously.  Sounds like you had some SEVERE religious brainwashing done to you as a child if you think sex and masturbation are something to be ashamed of.  Sex is the most natural and beautiful thing in the world.

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Re: I'm afraid I'm a freak and I don't know what to do. [Re: Anonymous #3]
    #8615123 -

^^^ Trollery of the highest degree. :poshdance:

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Re: I'm afraid I'm a freak and I don't know what to do. [Re: Anonymous #4]
    #8615244 -

Seek proffesional help.

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Re: I'm afraid I'm a freak and I don't know what to do. [Re: Anonymous #5]
    #8615578 -

this thread is awesome for so many reasons. :awesome:

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Re: I'm afraid I'm a freak and I don't know what to do. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #8615585 -

stupid thread

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Re: I'm afraid I'm a freak and I don't know what to do. [Re: Anonymous #6]
    #8616071 -

I'm assuming this is a joke. If its not, dude you need to get some help...I don't think its the masturbating he's worried about its the jacking off with his own vomit. Thats crossing the line.

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Re: I'm afraid I'm a freak and I don't know what to do. [Re: Anonymous #7]
    #8616094 -

Umm...stop masturbating with your puke? Learn to control your urges. You are a human for fucks sake. Even if its hard or you go a long time and think "well hey ive done it this long, one more time wont hurt" DONT.

The more you do it, the more guilty you are going to feel. It will eat you alive, dude. And if you find that you cannot control your own thoughts or actions, it is time to seek professional help. Retrain your brain to not think of puke as a sexual thing. Because right now your brain is wired to think that.

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Re: I'm afraid I'm a freak and I don't know what to do. [Re: Anonymous #8]
    #8616131 -

Ok, Im no pyscologist but i think i know a fair bit about ppl and the human psyche. I feel the same way about sleeping with women. Im not gay mind you, but it takes a lot for me to wantr to sleep with a woman.

the usual shes hot etc just doesnt cut it for me. if i dont have a profound spirirtual conection with the woman then i just dont respect them in thier attemps to pair with me.
This happens more than you may think and am always left the next morning thinking what have i done.

i feel as though i have taken advantage of someone eho i know that im never goin to be with for my own enjoyment.

Now this is the interesting part. i find that only after i surrender to my own sexual urges, and accept them as a part of life over my better judgement, do i have any chance of changing my behavior in the future.

Only when you integrate somthing into your psyche such as what we are both speaking of, do you truly have a chance to overcome it.

If you deny it as a part of yourself you have no chance of ever overcoming it, and "rewiring your brain" as some have put it.

The revulsion that you are describing is a mere result of your social conditioning and plays a laughably tiny part in the great works of the universe.

learn to have some autonomy and take control of your life.
you are the only one who can stop you.

:plot:

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Re: I'm afraid I'm a freak and I don't know what to do. [Re: Anonymous #9]
    #8616145 -

I hope to god this is a troll.

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Re: I'm afraid I'm a freak and I don't know what to do. [Re: Anonymous #9]
    #8616146 -

A freak is such a loaded term. It's like calling yourself Satan.

This sort of thing might be linked to suppressed traumas, maybe even the birth trauma.

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Re: I'm afraid I'm a freak and I don't know what to do. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #8616290 -

I once was friends with an online guy who had an interest in puke - sexually.  Everytime I got any type of stomach-ache, it was like he was ravenous to hear the details.  I felt bad for him, because of his unusual fetish, so I would tell him details of the event because it wasn't hurting me to know that he was jerking off at my puke stories.  :shrug:  I broke off contact eventually though, because it soon became obvious I was just being used. 

OP= find an online community that caters to puke fetish.  There are several out there. 

What about puking is so erotic for you?

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Re: I'm afraid I'm a freak and I don't know what to do. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #8617674 -

Anonymous said:
Man Tangerines, you're fucked up dude.


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Re: I'm afraid I'm a freak and I don't know what to do. [Re: Anonymous #13]
    #8617770 -

:lol: I don't see that it's "wrong" to jerk off with your puke, just gross. Doesn't the stomach acid burn? Eww.

Ok, seriously though, nobody cares. I don't mean to be insulting by saying that, I mean really, nobody cares, and you should remember that. You're the one who makes yourself a freak by telling yourself you are one, because when it comes down to it, we're all weird, dirty freaks one way or another.

Someday you may find yourself a lovely lady who will puke on your junk for you! :lol:

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Re: I'm afraid I'm a freak and I don't know what to do. [Re: Anonymous #13]
    #8617823 -

Anonymous said:
Anonymous said:
Man Tangerines, you're fucked up dude.




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Re: I'm afraid I'm a freak and I don't know what to do. [Re: Anonymous #3]
    #8617859 -

yeah op is definitely tangerines

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Re: I'm afraid I'm a freak and I don't know what to do. [Re: Anonymous #15]
    #8617889 -

I prefer fecal matter to puke!  :poop:

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Re: I'm afraid I'm a freak and I don't know what to do. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #8618279 -

I hope your lieing if not eat shrooms and open your mind

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