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Anonymous #1 |
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Its a work of fiction. I'm just curious if this gets any readers that dare go passed the first few paragraphs. I'll post the next chapter if anyone finds it interesting.
The Glade Chapter 1 The sun was falling behind the buildings. The air was cold enough to make one feel uncomfortable but not quite enough to start a shiver. It taunted David’s senses. He picked up the pace to try and warm up. The cold helped his mind loop back to the whole reason why he was walking home from work in the first place. Some soul-less prick stole his bike while he was working. David had bought the bike to save money on gas and to help burn some pounds off (only the first goal was met). If anything, it made him feel a little better about himself when he got to work (and when you work at Tasty-Me’s, you need all the feel good opportunities you can get.) All that didn’t matter anymore because any sort of good feelings this bike created for David was now canceled out from its thief. It would have been better for him not to have even bought the bike in the first place because this feeling he had was not worth the 50 bucks saved on gas. The loan shitty feeling of being robbed was not the problem; the problem was that the feeling seeded millions of other negative thoughts. End result: Fuck Society. The BMW changed lines to get as close as possible to David as it drove by. Two girls in the back seat and a young guy in the passenger seat leaned out the window as they approached. Once they were in shouting distance, the guy yelled out at David (a jumble of words, David only made out Fat Bitch) and the girls simply screamed at him. The sudden curse words and revving engine made David jump. The BMW sped off. He had stopped walking and was staring in the empty place the car was at. He didn’t feel rage (he wished he had) he felt defeated. Well are you happy? Are you fucking happy? You finally broke me you son of a bitch. David felt an empty ping. His mind made him look at his life and mocked it by comparing it to others. He looked down at his protruding stomach and felt another icy wave poor over his soul. That last wave smashed over any other pillars of hope that had lasted this long. All that was left was raw emotion. He wiped his eyes. Stop crying you fucking pussy. Look at you, you fucking disgust me. No, he couldn’t go home like this. Get a hold of yourself. Focus on something else. Stop replaying all those moments in your head over and over. Look around, anything, just stop fucking crying and feeling sorry for yourself! David looked up and saw he was approaching the entrance to a park. Elm Park was always impressive to walk through. Its trails weaved through 100 acres of thick woodland; A nice reminder of what this city destroyed so many years ago. A short stroll wouldn’t hurt. David hadn’t walked through the park in years. He passed under the Ivy grown arch that read, “Welcome to Elm Park.” The sound of the city was slowly replaced by the sound of trees whispering to each other and leaves crawling on the ground. He looked into the now night sky. There were some stars out. Orion was the only constellation he knew and he always looked for it when stars were visible. The canopy of trees hid it from him. On and on he walked, the winding roads brought with them new thoughts. The cold wasn’t as bad in here. It was probably colder in the park but it was much more tolerable. The journey went on until one of his senses forced him to stop in his tracks. He closed his eyes and breathed it in. Was it cedar…no, not quite, but that was the closest reference he had for the scent he smelled. Not as pungent as plain cedar. It was dulled with a flowery undertone. Whatever it was, it gave him chills and awoke some part of his mind that had he thought was all but gone. He looked around but couldn’t find anything. He closed his eyes a smelled again. He walked towards the scent. He stopped by the trails side and found what looked like a game trail. The moon light lit the path and gave permission to go on. As he followed the tiny path (if you can even call it that,) a sort of magic was forming in the air. David felt like he was walking back in time. The feeling started right when he stepped off the trail but he ignored it. Now it was nothing he could put aside. Was it the scent that was causing it? It was the same sort of feeling one might get when looking at some ancient historical site; the echoes of the past calling out to the watcher. David closed his eyes and let the feeling wash over him. He breathed in the scent. It was stronger. The trail finally ended up in a little grass clearing. The moon was directly overhead and lit the small glade with its light. Whatever made David start off trail was here, somewhere in this glade. He now felt it inside of him. It allowed each tense muscle to relax. His mind quited down and for that moment, forgot the days troubles. The voice came from behind him.
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Anonymous #2 |
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“We’ve been waiting for you!” she said with a smile.
“I’m sorry Sherin, something came up at the last minute.” “Oh? Is everything alright?” she asked with a concerned look. “Don’t worry, everything is fine now,” I assured her. “Let’s get started, shall we?” As I removed my jacket and boots, I peered into the living room and noticed there were even more guests than I had seen from the doorway. There were almost twice as many in sight now, all standing with fancy wine glasses in hand. They stood throughout the living room, dining room and kitchen casually chatting with one another. In my drunken mind state, their voices sounded like nothing more than a loud buzzing of incoherent babble. Having finally arrived, the briss could now begin. If you don’t already know what a briss is, it’s the traditional Jewish ceremony where a newborn infant is circumcised exactly eight days after he has been born. The parents had hired me to remove the foreskin from the child. I joined the family in the living room and was told to have a seat in the chair that was placed in the center of the room by the babies father. I sat down comfortably and asked Sherin to hold the baby for me. She complied and restrained her son while I reached into my large black bag filled with circumcision tools and prepared to go to work. Without warning, a murderous, senile expression formed on my face and instead, I pulled out a giant axe from the bag and held it over my head. I swung the axe down towards the infants dick, detaching his shaft and leaving the little faggot forever celibate. Veins began bulging from my neck and biceps as the attendants of the briss gasped in horror. I turned the axe around in my hand and sent it sailing towards my head, splitting my own face in half. Chunks of my brain shot from out of my head and sprayed the guests as my body collapsed to the floor in a pool of my own blood.
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Anonymous #3 |
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can u give a background on what the premise of the book is....it seems very well written, but i cant really make a guess at the quality of the content unless u give a plot overview....
first chapter was really good tho....well written and a pretty good intro to the story....if u write the rest of the story like this and the topics and themes are good, then u'll have a great book on ur hands
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