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VoidOfsPg
Stranger

Registered: 05/09/05
Posts: 4,899
Loc: San Antonio, TX
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Asshole Cripple
#5505356 - 04/11/06 08:30 PM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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So I'm minding my own business walking into the grotesque bathroom at the Super Wal-Mart.
I see the urinals with out dividers conveniently located 3 inches from the sinks. I think to myself...nope that's definitely not going to happen.
So of course my next choice is to go into the handicap stall because:
1) It has its own sink that ISN'T located 3 inches from another male's phallus excreting urine.
2) It has its own mirror. So, you know, I can make sure I look okay and that there's no boogers hanging out of my nose, etc...
3) Handicap stalls are usually stocked up on soap and paper towels. (Yes I'm a clean hands freak)
4) Its nice and roomy. (Always a plus)
I get done pissing, washing my hands thoroughly, drying them with the air dryer (which I might add, never fully gets them dry), and checking myself in the mirror to make sure I'm just as sexy as I was 10 minutes ago. I grab some toilet paper to unlock the door with and open the door to see this old hairy crippled dude in a wheel chair. He doesnt greet me with a smile nor a "good day sir", but with a facial expression that obviously says, "what the fuck are YOU doing in a handicap stall?!" I just looked back at him with a big smile and tried to squeeze inbetween him and the wall.
To my surprise, the bastard doesnt even give me time to walk past him before he starts wheeling himself into the stall almost running me over. What a douche bag.
Apparently I'm an asshole for using a handicap stall when I'm not crippled.
I didnt see a sign on the door saying "This is a stall strictly for crippled people". I had just as much right being in there as he did. Get off my fucking nuts.
I just felt like complaining about something so there it is.
The end.
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blissedout


Registered: 11/11/04
Posts: 22,320
Loc: Yonder
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Re: Asshole Cripple [Re: VoidOfsPg]
#5505433 - 04/11/06 08:40 PM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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That's one of those times when you wished that you had pissed all over the seat.
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DieCommie

Registered: 12/11/03
Posts: 29,258
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Re: Asshole Cripple [Re: VoidOfsPg]
#5505450 - 04/11/06 08:44 PM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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heheh reminds me of that curb your enthusiasm episode. ever see that one?
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VoidOfsPg
Stranger

Registered: 05/09/05
Posts: 4,899
Loc: San Antonio, TX
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Re: Asshole Cripple [Re: blissedout]
#5505472 - 04/11/06 08:47 PM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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I should have pissed all over the hand rail.
Never watched Curb Your Enthusiasm. What happened?
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PinballWizard
Naive and Gullible as usual

Registered: 03/20/04
Posts: 2,804
Last seen: 9 years, 10 months
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Re: Asshole Cripple [Re: VoidOfsPg]
#5505523 - 04/11/06 08:56 PM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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Larry David got pissed off at a total stranger over a small incident most people just forget.
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VoidOfsPg
Stranger

Registered: 05/09/05
Posts: 4,899
Loc: San Antonio, TX
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That's my life.
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Ferris
PsychedelicJourneyman



Registered: 03/12/06
Posts: 11,529
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Post deleted by FerrisReason for deletion: .
-------------------- Discuss Politics
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Krishna
कृष्ण,LOL


Registered: 05/08/03
Posts: 23,285
Loc: oakland
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Re: Asshole Cripple [Re: DieCommie]
#5505550 - 04/11/06 09:00 PM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
DieCommie said: heheh reminds me of that curb your enthusiasm episode. ever see that one?
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DieCommie

Registered: 12/11/03
Posts: 29,258
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Re: Asshole Cripple [Re: Ferris]
#5505553 - 04/11/06 09:01 PM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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Its a funny episode. There is a long line of men waiting for the "normal" stal, so he goes ahead and takes the handicap one. THe line of men are disturbed, along with a wheelchaired man.
Later in the episode, Larry is waiting for a normal stal and the handicap man come out.
One of the funniest sitcoms of all time imo.
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RuNE
bomberman


Registered: 09/23/00
Posts: 2,331
Loc: tartarus
Last seen: 8 years, 3 days
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Re: Asshole Cripple [Re: VoidOfsPg]
#5505598 - 04/11/06 09:07 PM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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You ever look at it from his point of view?
He's ugly. He's crippled (for god knows how long now). And he hates his life. He might even have a shitty stomach dissorder, and he cant exactly 'run' to any other stall.
No offense dude, but you just came off like some retarded 16 year old teenager girl that thinks she knows everything.
"Liek, o me GOSH, this dude, liek, he probably has the shittiest life in teh world, and he like, LOOKED at me wrong after i took away the one thing designed for his sorry ass, liek, wtf gosh!".
...and i hate larry david. I honestly hope he dies soon. Seinfeld was 'ok' with the complaining thing, it wasnt pushed too far. Larry david is a man I would probably murder.
Sorry dude, Im just looking at it from his point of view.
-------------------- ~Happy sailing~
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leery11
I Tell You What!

Registered: 06/24/05
Posts: 5,998
Last seen: 8 years, 10 months
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Re: Asshole Cripple [Re: RuNE]
#5505609 - 04/11/06 09:10 PM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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maybe he had to go really bad.
holding in your waste products can turn you into a frenzied animal that will stomp over school children and babies to get to a toilet.
-------------------- I am the MacDaddy of Heimlich County, I play it Straight Up Yo! ....I embrace my desire to feel the rhythm, to feel connected enough to step aside and weep like a widow, to feel inspired, to fathom the power, to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain, to swing on the spiral of our divinity and still be a human...... Om Namah Shivaya, I tell you What!
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RuNE
bomberman


Registered: 09/23/00
Posts: 2,331
Loc: tartarus
Last seen: 8 years, 3 days
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Re: Asshole Cripple [Re: leery11]
#5505643 - 04/11/06 09:16 PM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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I used to have IBS....Tell me about it.
-------------------- ~Happy sailing~
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Bowers
Bobba Ganoosh


Registered: 03/09/06
Posts: 934
Loc: Ontario, CA
Last seen: 13 years, 3 months
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Re: Asshole Cripple [Re: VoidOfsPg]
#5505750 - 04/11/06 09:31 PM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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like you have NEVER waited in line to use a toilet right? They fight to be equal, and waiting to use the john is part of equality! Its not like he was in there before you! (right?) people can reallt bug me sometimes.. hee hee
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HELLA_TIGHT
Madge the Smoking Vag


Registered: 08/19/03
Posts: 84,387
Loc: Afghanistan
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Re: Asshole Cripple [Re: VoidOfsPg]
#5506000 - 04/11/06 10:22 PM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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Have you seen that episode of Curb your Enthusiasm?
You know, that one?
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Boom
just a tester

Registered: 06/16/04
Posts: 11,252
Loc: Cypress Creek
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hah that's what I was thinking when I saw this post
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